


What if it is Ebola?!

by KrolenaT



Series: What if? [1]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-06-13 20:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 82,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15372903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrolenaT/pseuds/KrolenaT
Summary: A month after the missionaries at Uganda District Nine were excommunicated from the LDS Church, the great Kevin Price falls ill. Connor McKinley may not be their official leader anymore, but he is still responsible for the boys, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since The Book of Mormon has gone through so many cast changes, like musicals do, I did not include any physical descriptions in this story which can be used to identify a particular actor.  
> 

He was startled awake by a muted thud from the next room. The noise was followed by footsteps, like someone running, and then another thud further down the corridor. Connor reckoned it was either Elder Cunningham or Elder Price moving around at- What time was it? He brought the clock closer to his face. Four in the morning. He still had two more hours till he had to wake up, but Connor knew that it was useless to try and get back to sleep.

After being excommunicated from the church by the mission president, the former district leader had a lot on his mind. All his worries about how they were going to get by without any funding or help from the church morphed into horrible visions at night. Night after night, he dreamt of his missionaries dying of Ebola, or them getting eaten by lions, or shot by general butt-effing-naked. Connor would gladly trade his overly realistic nightmares with his former spooky mormon hell dreams. At least nobody he cared about died in his hell dreams.

Connor scrubbed his face with his hands and pushed himself upright. No more sleep means more time to research and plan. He was the only one who was allowed a computer, being the district leader and all, for communication purposes. Despite people's misconceptions about Uganda, the place is advanced enough to have decent network coverage.

Elder Thomas was still sound asleep, so Connor quietly carried his laptop out into the common area. He heard another noise coming from the end of the corridor, where the bathroom was. Sounded like a cough, and then a groan. Connor was about to knock on the bathroom door when the toilet flushed and the door swung open to reveal a bedraggled Elder Price.

"Jesus fuck!" Kevin jumped back, his hand flying to his heart, "You could've given me a heart attack, McKinley!"

"Sorry," Connor scratched his head sheepishly, "is everything okay? You were in there for a long time."

Connor noticed that Kevin was covered in sweat, hunched over himself, "Sorry for hogging the toilet. It's all yours."

"Are you okay?" Connor frowned, his mind going back to his Ebola nightmare.

Getting sick in a remote Ugandan village is not only inconvenient, but common ills can become life-threatening with the lack of advanced medical facilities. There was only one small clinic in the village, and the only equipment Gotswana had was an x-ray machine donated by the church a couple of years ago. The nearest hospitals were in Kitgum, a mere three hours bus ride away, but they barely have enough beds and staff to care for the locals.

"Uh huh. Yeah, no, I'll be fine. Probably just a stomach bug," Kevin shrugged tiredly.

"Okay well, let's make sure you hydrate before you go back to bed. C'mon," Connor put his arms on Kevin's shoulders and steered him to the kitchenette.

Connor dug out a sachet of electrolyte powder from their dwindling supplies and emptied it into a glass. He poured the jug of filtered water into the glass and stirred, the clinking of the spoon against the glass echoing loudly in the quiet hut.

Kevin was slumped over the dining table, with his head pillowed on his arm. He must be feeling really awful. Connor tapped on his hand with the glass, "Here, bottoms up and then you can go back to bed."

Kevin made no attempts to get up from his position. He shook his head slowly, "I don't think I can drink anything right now."

"How long has this been going on?" Connor tried to think back to how he was yesterday.

Yesterday was the missionaries' day off. Connor was the only one left in the hut for most of the day, while the rest of the Elders embarked on a hiking trip the next village over. Connor vaguely remembered seeing Kevin at breakfast. Or had he? He was too engrossed with writing his emails to notice what everyone else was doing.

"Two, three days, maybe?" Kevin raised his head with a grimace.

"What?! That…that's not good," Connor frowned, "and you still went hiking with the guys?"

"I didn't," Kevin took an experimental sip of the orange flavoured water, "Arnold and I, we hung out at Mafala's place yesterday. Ugh, this is gross."

"It's the only flavour we have left. Actually, I think this is the only packet we have left," Connor answered absentmindedly.

They did not even have any medicine left, what was he going to do? What if Kevin got sicker? What if the others also came down with whatever Kevin has? What if it was something more serious than plain ol' stomach flu, like appendicitis? What if it WAS Ebola?!

"Maybe we should get you to the hospital."

"There's no need. I'll be better in the morning, hopefully," Kevin took another small sip of his drink, "I just need to sleep it off."

They needed more supplies. More money. Where was Connor going to get the money from? What if staying in Uganda was a mistake? What if everyone got sick and died because of him?

"Stop worrying so much, I'll be fine. We'll be fine," Kevin reached across the table and squeezed Connor's shoulder.

"What? How do you-"

"I'm gonna go back to bed. You should too," Kevin swayed as he pushed away from the table and made his way back to his room.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

After Kevin went back to his room, Connor kept the still-full glass of electrolyte drink in the fridge for later. Now was not the time for wastage. Then, he started on his to-do list. Organising things into lists help to clear his mind and keep him focused.

 

1\. Keep Kevin hydrated.

2\. Get Gotswana to take a look at Kevin.

3\. Take stock of their remaining supplies and medicine. (Note: Buy thermometer)

4\. How much money do they have left?

5.

 

By the time Connor got to number twenty on his list, he could hear alarm clocks start to blare, signalling the beginning of another long day. The Elders shuffled out from their rooms and started about their daily routines.

"Morning, Elder McKinley"

"Good morning, Elder Neely."

"Hey, did someone see my name tag? I swear I left it on the table last night."

"Morning!"

"Good morning, Elder Church."

"Uhhh guys? I think we're out of eggs."

"Morning Connor, did you even sleep? You went to bed later than I did."

"Good morning Poptarts, and yes, I did sleep."

"Yeah well, you look like shit."

"Davis, I found your name tag!"

"Where?"

"We need to buy more eggs. And milk."

"Elder McKinley, could you pass that bowl please?"

"Under the sofa, Davis."

"Thanks, Neel!"

"Morning guys, what's for breakfast today?"

"Elder Cunningham! How's Elder Price doing?"

"What's wrong with Price?"

"Uhh, he's sleeping. I think he still has a fever though."

"Still? What do you mean still?" Connor pressed. Why had he not notice this last night?

"Oh man, is he sick? I'd better stay away from him then, I don't wanna catch whatever he has."

"Shut up, Church. You're such a prick."

"Ow! Thomas!"

"He must have gotten it from one of the kids. Told ya kids are germ magnets."

"Just shush, you guys."

"Well he was pretty warm yesterday. Mafala wanted to bring him to the clinic, but Kevin said he just needed to sleep it off. He said it was just a bug," Arnold shrugged, looking worried.

Connor underlined point number two on his list three times over and circled the word 'thermometer', before leaving the crowded kitchenette to check on Kevin. Retrieving the now cooled electrolyte drink from the fridge, Connor strode over to Kevin and Arnold's bedroom. He knocked softly on the wooden door, before pushing it open and sticking his head inside. Kevin was curled up under his thin blanket, even though it was beginning to get unbearably hot as the sun rose. Only the top of his head was visible. Setting the glass on the bedside table, Connor kneeled on the floor shook the sleeping form lightly, "Kevin? Hey, sleeping ugly, wake up."

"Hmmm?" Kevin made no attempt to move, "fuck off."

"Hydration time. C'mon," Connor tugged at the blankets, finally revealing the pale face of the almighty Kevin Price.

"If I drink that, I'm gonna puke," Kevin sighed.

"You need to stay hydrated."

"Did you not hear what I just said?" Kevin pushed the glass away from his face.

"I'm going to go get Gotswana to come to the hut. He could set up an IV or something," Connor stood up and brushed dust off his knees.

"Okay."

Connor was busy running through his to-do list in his mind, he did not register Kevin's reply at first. Wait- Okay? OKAY?! Kevin Price was agreeing with him, to be seen by a doctor. This must be something serious. He had to get Gotswana here right now!

"I fucking hate this," Kevin buried his face in his pillow and curled a little tighter into himself, "this shit hurts."

"Alright, alright. Just hang on. I'm gonna go get Gotswana and he's gonna make you feel better," Connor was most definitely panicking at the sight of Kevin in pain.

"I'm not five. Just go already."

Connor took one last glance at Kevin before slipping out of the room. The rest of the Elders were finishing up their breakfast, and ready to continue laying the foundations for the new school wing they had planned to build.

Connor clapped his hands twice to get everyone's attention, "Alright guys, I've put up the new chore chart for the week on the chalkboard. Elder Church and Elder Michaels, you two will be taking over Elder Price's duties until he's feeling better, okay?"

"Why do I have to- Ow! Stop hitting me, Thomas! This is physical abuse!"

Connor checked his watch, he should be able to find Gotswana in his clinic at this time.

"Great! That's settled then! Get to work, Elders!" Connor walked over to Arnold, "Hey, Elder Cunningham? I'm going to the clinic, could you help me to watch over Elder Price?"

"Of course! Of course I will, Connor," Arnold smiled reassuringly.

Connor nodded his thanks and took off in the direction of Gotswana's clinic.


	2. Chapter 2

Connor, Arnold, and Nabulungi were crowded around Kevin's bed, as Gotswana examined him.

"Ah, Elder Price. You have appendicitis," Gotswana announced to the group.

"Oh, That! My cousin had That last Christmas. He had to go to the hospital to get surgery," Arnold commented.

"I knew it! I knew it was appendicitis," Connor exclaimed.

"What? No, you didn't," Kevin scoffed.

"Uh huh, I totally did," Connor smirked at Kevin, before turning to Gotswana, "you can fix it right? At your clinic?"

"I'm afraid I cannot, Elder McKinley. I do not have any anaesthetic gas in my clinic," Gotswana shook his head, "Elder Price, you have to go to one of the hospitals in Kitgum."

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor realised that all eyes were on him. They were waiting for his plan.

Occasionally, the Elders would take a bus to Kitgum for supplies. It was the one of the cheapest ways to get around Uganda. However, Connor was reluctant to subject Kevin to the agonising three hour ride on a dilapidated bus.

"Umm, I guess we could…we could uh-"

"We could take the bus there, like we always do," Kevin answered for him.

"Are you sure? You know how buses are like here," Connor frowned.

"Do I have a choice?"

"I can follow you boys there, in case you need any help," Nabulungi offered.

Connor felt himself getting increasingly flustered. This was so not on his to-do list! He had not made any plans for this yet! Should he be accompanying Kevin to the hospital? He should, right? After all, he was still in charge of all the missionaries here at district nine. What if Kevin didn't want him to come with?

"Should I come along too, Kev?" Arnold asked softly, sitting on Kevin's bed.

"It's fine, Arnold. I'm sure McKinley and Nabulungi can handle it, right?" Kevin directed his gaze at Connor.

Connor let out a breath of relief, "Right. Yeah, don't worry Elder Cunningham, we've got this. You stay here, and help me make sure that the others don't slack off on their duties. Especially Elder Church. He's taking over Kevin's English class with the kids today; make sure he doesn't kill the children, or himself."

Kevin chuckled, and than groaned.

"Alright, let's get going then. The next bus to Kitgum should be here at noon. What do we need to bring along with us?" Connor pondered aloud.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Noon had come and gone, and the bus was still not here yet. Kevin, Nabulungi, and Connor were huddled under the shade of a small tree beside the bus stop, seeking respite from the burning hot sun.

"Have I told you how much this fucking sucks?"

Kevin was currently curled up on the ground with his head pillowed on Connor's thighs. Nabulungi was on the other side of Connor with her head resting on his shoulders. Both Connor and Kevin had changed out of their usual missionary uniforms, into more comfortable clothing they had bought during their last excursion to Kitgum.

"No, I think I missed the first twenty times you mentioned it," Connor checked his watch again, "the bus is late."

"What else is new," Kevin sighed.

"I have to say, you're taking this a whole lot better than I thought you would," Connor tried to rub soothing circles on Kevin's back when Connor felt his body tense up in pain.

"How did you think I was going to react, hmm?"

"Oh, I don't know? Cry about why do bad things always happen to the awesome Kevin Price, and demand to be airlifted back to America," Connor smirked.

"Is that what you think of me? Fuck you," Kevin punched Connor in his leg, hard.

"Ouch, violent much? If you don't recall, that was exactly what you did on your first week here in Uganda."

"It was a rough week, okay? I had someone's brain matter on my face. Besides, if you haven't noticed, I'm not the same person as I was before," Kevin scowled at the ground.

"Of course I noticed," Connor smiled, "in fact, I think I like the new Kevin Price a lot more than the old one. His potty mouth notwithstanding."

Kevin turned around and held Connor's gaze at his admission.

"Good."

Nabulungi lifted her head from Connor's shoulders, "Look, Elders! The bus is here!"

"Does that mean I have to move?" Kevin moaned.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

They were only thirty minutes into their journey towards Kitgum, and Connor was already regretting taking the bus. The three of them were squished into a tiny seat meant for two people: with Kevin on the inside, Nabulungi between the both of them, and Connor on the outside. The crowded bus did not have any air-conditioning, of course not, and the warm wind coming through the half-opened bus windows did nothing to help.

Their sitting arrangement was also garnering increasing amounts of attention from the locals, with some of them outright staring at the three of them. Connor was trying to avoid all the curious gazes, Nabulungi was staring back at them nonchalantly, and Kevin was feeling too awful to care.

Just because the universe hated them that much, the bus driver seemed to be on a mission to hit every single pothole on the road. Connor winced when the bus jerked violently as it hit the biggest pothole yet. It felt like his internal organs were being knocked around in his body cavity. Connor heard Kevin's stifled sob, his head swivelling around immediately towards the sound of distress. Kevin had one hand covering his mouth, and the other gripping his knee so tightly, Connor was sure it was going to leave bruises.

"Oh no," Nabulungi stretched her arm and pushed the bus window open all the way. Just in time too, for Kevin to stick his head out slightly and retch. Connor felt horrible, listening to Kevin dry heave out the bus window, it sounded really painful. Nabulungi held onto Kevin, while rubbing circles on his back. She turned back and exchanged worried glances with Connor.

Kevin was finally done after a good five minutes. He was practically translucent when he pulled his head back into the bus, tears running down his cheeks.

"Do you have the water, Elder McKinley?" Nabulungi asked, continuing to rub soothing circles on Kevin's back as he slumped against the side of the bus looking like death.

Connor fished the water bottle out from the bag he had packed for their stay in Kitgum. The water was now disgustingly warm, even though he had filled it with ice cubes right before they left the mission hut. Nabulungi was about to uncap the bottle when the bus hit another pothole. Kevin let out a strangled cry, biting onto his bottom lip so hard it was starting to bleed. He folded into himself, his head resting on his knees.

"Kevin-," Connor felt like crying. He hated feeling so helpless.

Connor suddenly had an idea. With Nabulungi's help, Kevin was now reclining over both of their legs, which seemed like a much more comfortable position.

"I mean, I don't know a lot of Disney songs- Okay, who am I kidding, I know all of them. Who doesn't, right? So here goes."

Kevin tilted his head slightly to acknowledge that he was listening.

Connor started off with singing Hercules. Singing in public was definitely not something he did, ever. But if it was going to distract Kevin from the agony he must be feeling, Connor would gladly sing with all his might. Nabulungi joined in and they sang a duet from Beauty and the Beast next. Almost everyone was turning around to peer at them now, but Connor doesn't- as Kevin would put it- give a fuck anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

“Should we wake him up?” Nabulungi asked, her fingers running through Kevin’s sweat-slicked hair.

“Let him have a few more minutes,” Connor said.

Kevin fell asleep, somewhere between the sixth or the seventh Disney tune they were butchering, or passed out. Connor really hoped it was the former. They were now almost in Kitgum, and both of them could barely feel their feet anymore. All thanks to the Kevin Price-shaped weight on their legs.

“So Elder McKinley, what do you think of Elder Price?” Nabulungi asked with a sly glint in her eyes.

“What do you mean? He’s just, you know, Kevin,” Connor gestured to the sleeping form.

He could not pinpoint the exact moment when ‘Elder Price’ had become ‘Kevin’. Not that he wasn’t already ‘Kevin’ in Connor’s mind since the day they met, but today was the one of the few times he had referred to him by his first name out loud in front of the others.

Connor supposed that under the present circumstances, it would be extremely weird to still be addressing each other formally. When he came to think of it, Kevin never really addressed him as Elder McKinley anymore, ever since his disastrous first week in Uganda. He was ‘Connor’ when Kevin needed his help, and he was ‘McKinley’ when he made Kevin annoyed. There was also ‘Connor McKinley, you fucker’ when Kevin got really really mad.

“You know what I’m talking about. You mentioned that you-” Nabulungi leaned in closer to Connor’s ear and whispered, “like boys more than girls.”

Connor smiled sadly, “It’s complicated, Nabulungi.”

“I don’t think it is. You two get along very well, much like Arnold and I,” Nabulungi explained, “and you do like him a lot.”

“Umm…yes, but I don’t- I’m not sure Kevin is like me. We never really talked about it,” Connor sighed.

“Why didn’t you just ask him then?”

“I- I can’t. Our whole lives, it’s been drilled into our minds that it’s wrong to, you know, to be like me. I know better now, I have come to accept who I am. But it took a long long time, for me to stop being miserable and confused. Besides, even though we’re not in the church anymore, we’re living in a country where people like me gets killed or sent to prison. So that’s why I can’t. I can’t just spring it on Kevin like that, it won’t end well.”

Nabulungi took a second to digest what Connor said. 

“They are all wrong, you know? People should mind their own business and stop dictating who other people should love,” Nabulungi declared.

“Well, that’s how things are anyway, but thanks Nabulungi. For being one of the five percent of Ugandans who doesn’t hate me,” Connor laid his head on her shoulder, “and please do not say anything to Kevin.”

“What if he’s waiting for you to say something?”

“No, he’s not. Please, I’m begging you. I promise I’ll let Elder Cunningham have the week off so you two can go frolic in the fields all day, if you promise to keep this between us,” Connor held up his pinky finger.

“He doesn’t need you to give him the week off, he already leaves most of his chores for Elder Price to do anyway,” Nabulungi scoffed and reluctantly hooked her pinky around his.

“We have to wake him up now, we’re in Kitgum.”

Connor hated to disturb Kevin’s much needed rest, but they had to get off the bus somehow; Preferably having gained back some sort of sensation in their lower limbs before doing so.

Connor squeezed Kevin’s shoulder, “Kevin, hey.”

“Elder Price, wake up,” Nabulungi patted his knee.

Connor’s heart clenched with fear when Kevin did not respond. Oh god, what if Kevin was unconscious? What if he has gone into shock, or whatever? Connor tried to think back to his first aid classes during his district leader training at the center. What are the symptoms of shock?

Nabulungi continued to pat on Kevin’s knee, “Elder Price, we are here.”

“Here?”

Connor exhaled in relief. Thank god they did not have to manoeuvre an unconscious Kevin down the bus and through the crowded streets.

“Yes, we’re here. In Kitgum,” Nabulungi slowly helped Kevin upright.

“Gah,” Kevin grimaced, “we got any water?”

“Yes!” Connor was glad that he could help. Passing the water was something he could most definitely do.

Kevin took a minuscule sip, before handing the bottle back to Connor, who also took a gulp.

“How are you feeling?” Connor asked.

“The same,” Kevin mumbled, “I feel awful.”

“You’ll feel better soon, once the doctors take your appendix out,” Connor reassured, “Come on, let’s get off the bus.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor’s ‘soon’ was a gross overstatement. He will never be caught criticising American hospitals ever again. They had dragged a mostly pliant Kevin from the bus station, through the busy streets of Kitgum, nearly getting run over by scooters, before finally reaching Kitgum hospital.

After that, they were instructed to sit and wait for the doctor, about two hours ago. Doctors and nurses have come and gone, but none of them even spared a glance at them. At least the nurse offered Kevin a bed in the emergency department.Nabulungi was sitting on the bed with Kevin, helping him to hold the bag he was currently throwing up into.

“Isn’t appendicitis a medical emergency? Why isn’t anybody attending to us?” Connor paced.

Connor stopped the next medical staff who walked passed them, “Sorry, but my friend has been waiting for a long time. He’s in pain.”

“Someone will be here to see you in a minute,” the nurse continued walking.

“A minute? A minute! Someone said the exact same thing 120 minutes ago!” Connor barked.

“Elder McKinley! Calm down,” Nabulungi grabbed his arm, “being mean to the staff does nothing to help.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

As it turned out, a minute in a Ugandan public hospital actually translates into three earth hours. A doctor stopped by Kevin’s bed to examine him, gave him some pain relievers, and hooked him up to IV fluids. He was scheduled for an appendectomy and they were left alone again.

“How are you holding up?” Connor rubbed at his temples. The stress of the whole day was giving him a headache.

“Tired,” Kevin blinked slowly.

“That makes two of us. Who knows how long this is going to take. I need some coffee.”

“You? Coffee? Since when do you ever drink coffee,” Kevin yawned.

“Extenuating circumstances and all,” Connor sighed, “just go to sleep will you?”

“I’m trying! You’re the one who’s talking to me,” Kevin punched Connor in the arm, “shut up and let me sleep."

The hit barely registered with Connor, there was no real strength behind it.

“Hey! I’m going to let this one slide because I don’t hit people when they’re down. Literally.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Kevin muttered.

Connor caught Nabulungi eyeing the two of them with a knowing smile.

“Don’t. You promised,” Connor laid back in his chair and closed his eyes. Just for a minute.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Kevin was finally taken to surgery at ten p.m., seven hours after they arrived in Kitgum. Connor and Nabulungi munched on the sandwiches and carrot sticks which Connor had prepared that morning.

“Where should we stay tonight? Do you think they’ll let us stay here with Kevin?” Connor wondered, “I really want a shower and a real bed to sleep in. But I don’t want to leave him all alone in the hospital.”

Nabulungi listened to Connor rant without offering any suggestions. She suddenly nudged him out of his thoughts when she spotted the doctor approaching.

“Ah, your friend will be fine. The surgery went well, he can probably go home in the morning,” the doctor explained.

“That’s awfully fast, are you sure? I mean, no offense, but shouldn’t he need more than one night to recover enough to be discharged?” Connor frowned.

One night? This couldn’t be right. What if Kevin needed longer than one night to be able to get out of bed? Connor was sure that they did not do laparoscopic appendectomy here; and back in America, people are hospitalised for longer than just one measly night after open surgery.

The doctor turned to Nabulungi and said something in Swahili, to which she replied, with a pat on Connor’s shoulder.

“He’ll be fine, Elder,” Nabulungi switching to English.

The doctor spared a glance at Connor before muttering something under his breath and walking away.

“What did he say to you?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. You don’t want to know what he said,” Nabulungi waved, “Come, let’s go see Elder Price."

“Uh yeah, I DO want to know.”

“Stupid white people telling me how to do my job,” Nabulungi spouted.

“Excuse me?!” Connor gasped.

“There. That’s what he said. You wanted to know. Now, come.”

Connor hoped that this was the very last time he would need to step foot in a Ugandan hospital ever again.


	4. Chapter 4

“You sometimes forget that you are not in America anymore,” Nabulungi bumped her shoulders against Connor's arm, as they were being led through the dark hallways by a nurse.

Connor peeked into the wards as they walked. There were at least twenty beds in each ward the size of Connor’s living room at home. Connor frowned at the peeling walls and meagre amenities.

Back when he was still occupied with peddling Mormonism, Connor never once realised how selfish he was. He was not proselytising for the sake of helping the Ugandans, but for himself. Connor was trying to make up to Heavenly Father, for being gay, so that he would not end up in Hell. Only after the disastrous week did he finally wake up and saw things as they really were. 

None of the Elders were forced to stay in Uganda after the incident with the mission president, nor were they coerced into abandoning their faith, but all of them did so anyway. Together, they have learnt to help the villagers by putting themselves in villagers’ shoes, and not by proclaiming what kind of help they need from a pedestal like some kind of self-important saviour. He is usually very good at putting himself in the shoes of the Ugandans, except for times like this.

“You’re right Nabulungi. I’m sorry,” Connor shook his head.

The nurse stopped in front of a closed door, “Kevin Price. This room.”

“Thank you,” Connor smiled at the nurse.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

 

Connor was expecting it to be like one of the crowded wards they had passed. He was surprised when he opened the door, and it was just Kevin in the small private room.

A sleeping, shirtless Kevin, with the thin blanket pooling around his waist. Connor could see the edge of the white bandage on his side. He strode over to the bed and pulled the blanket up to Kevin’s neck.

When he turned back to Nabulungi, she was rolling her eyes.

“What? It’s chilly,” Connor reasoned.

“Oh yes yes Elder, it is so cold here in Uganda,” Nabulungi smirked.

“Maybe he doesn’t want us to see, you know, him like that,” Connor had a feeling that he was digging the hole a little deeper each time he opened his mouth.

Nabulungi laughed, “Have you met Elder Price?”

She was right. Connor and the other Elders ditched their stuffy temple garments, but Kevin decided to ditch the concept of shirts altogether. He can often be seen in only a pair of Bermudas while working on the new school building under the scorching hot sun.

Connor changed the topic, “Not that I’m complaining, but why do we get a nicer room compared to the others?”

“They see white people, they assume you have the money,” Nabulungi answered matter-of-factly.

Connor shelved the thought for later and took the seat beside Kevin’s bed, while Nabulungi sat on the foot of the bed.

Connor yawned, “It’s one in the morning. Too late for us to try and find a hotel.”

“I saw a shower room along the corridor, you can go have your shower, and then we sleep here,” Nabulungi pointed to the ground.

“Sounds like a plan. An uncomfortable plan, but a plan,” Connor started unpacking their bag but stopped, “Thank you, Nabulungi. For being here. I really don’t know how I’d have fared without your help.”

“You are very welcome, Elder McKinley,” Nabulungi smiled warmly at him.

He continued to unpack their bag, "I wonder how the other Elders are doing, it’s the first time I’ve not returned for the night.”

“It’s okay Elder, they have Arnold,” Nabulungi said with a straight face.

Both of them locked eyes for a second before bursting out into fits of laughter.

The commotion roused Kevin from his sleep. He turned his head towards Connor and slowly blinked open his eyes. It took a few seconds for him to get his bearings before his eyes focused on Connor’s face.

“Look who’s awake,” Connor grinned.

Kevin’s mouth formed a shape which resembled ‘Hey’ and then ‘Water’.

Connor couldn’t stop grinning at the sight of Kevin being awake. He quickly uncapped the bottle and brought it to Kevin’s mouth. With one hand supporting Kevin’s head, Connor poured the water slowly into his mouth.

“Better?” Connor laid Kevin’s head back down onto the pillow.

“Mmmm,” Kevin looked at Connor, and then at Nabulungi, “what’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing,” Connor said, “the doctor said you’ll be able to leave in the morning.”

“I’ve been told,” Kevin nodded, “what time is it?”

Connor’s smile faltered at how soft and quiet Kevin’s voice was. Quiet and Kevin were antonymous. He wanted their loud and boisterous Kevin back.

“One thirty in the morning,” Connor checked his watch.

“Hotel?” Kevin breathed.

“No, we are going to have a sleepover in your room!” Nabulungi patted Kevin’s knee.

Kevin raised his eyebrow in question.

Connor shrugged, “We’ll just crash on the floor.”

“Are you sure? I could share the bed,” Kevin tried to scoot over but was stopped by the pain, “Ow, ow fuck.”

“Hey, no. No, please don’t move. Are you okay?”

Kevin’s eyes were closed, but he gave Connor a thumbs-up. Connor continued to hover around Kevin, in case he needed any help. When Kevin opened his eyes again, they were staring intently into Connor’s.

“Thanks,” Kevin whispered, gazing over to Nabulungi, “both of you.”

Nabulungi took Kevin’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze, “You’re welcome. Besides, we can’t just let you die? Arnold will be heartbroken.”

“Just Arnold?” Kevin smiled.

Nabulungi frowned, “Hmm let’s see, who else?”

She gestured in Connor’s direction with her eyes, and Kevin rolled his.

Connor glared at Nabulungi, “Alright, it's late. Enough talking. I’m going to go take my shower, is that okay?”

“Don’t worry, Elder McKinley, I’ll be here keeping Elder Price company,” Nabulungi winked at Connor.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The next morning came far too soon. It felt as though he had just closed his eyes, before Connor was rudely awoken by someone tripping over his legs. The ruckus woke everybody up. Probably woke everybody in the vicinity of their room up too, as the nurse yelled and dropped her metal tray full of medicine.

Connor gaped at the mess of pills on the floor. Oh no, could they still use them? They could, right? They just had to brush the dust and dirt off of the pills.

“Connor,” Kevin’s horrified stare probably mirrored Connor’s own.

Connor broke out of his shock-induced trance and started to help the nurse pick the pills up. Nabulungi also joined in on the clean-up.

“I’m so so so sorry,” Connor was unbelievably mortified.

“Ah, it’s okay boy. Still good, see, ” the nurse took a single white pill, picked the dust off, and dropped it back into her tray, “Still good.”

Connor laughed in relief. He thought that he had singlehandedly wasted a whole tray of precious medicine.

“Now boy, take two of the yellow ones and a round white one, and give it to your friend,” the nurse instructed.

“Oh. Umm…,” Connor looked at the pills on the ground, and then back at the nurse.

She mistook Connor’s hesitation as his inability to pick out the correct pills. The nurse picked three pills from the ground, blew the dust off, and then dropped them into Connor's palm.

He turned to look at Kevin, who was lying on his side and watching them clean up the mess, “Uhh- I guess it’s pill time?”

“Connor McKinley, you suck,” Kevin sighed.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The three of them finished gathering the pills in no time at all. Connor apologised to the nurse again, to which she just waved, and left to continue with her duties. Connor closed the door behind her and leaned his head onto it.

“That was…I can’t believe I actually did that,” Connor groaned, “sleeping in front of the door was real stupid of me.”

“Remind me to tell everyone how stupid you were when we get back. No, are. How stupid you are,” Kevin grinned.

“Don’t even,” Connor shook his head, “Oh gosh, I can never come back here ever again, I’m too embarrassed.”

Connor yelped when someone knocked on the door he was leaning on. He jumped clear of it just before the door swung open.

“Mr Price! You are awake! That’s good. Let’s see how you are doing, and then we can get you home,” the same doctor announced.

“We'll just wait outside,” Connor pulled Nabulungi along and exited the room.

Connor and Nabulungi stood outside the door, while staff and patients shuffled passed them.

“Are we taking the bus back?” Nabulungi asked.

“I don’t know. Let’s see what Kevin thinks.”

The door opened, and the doctor beckoned them inside.

“Mr Price is good to go. I have already given him the instructions on how to take care of his incision. I understand you know a doctor back in your village?”

All of them nodded.

“That’s good, you can go to him if you need any help. Now, collect the medicine from the pharmacy and then you are free to go,” The doctor handed over a prescription to Kevin.

“That’s it?” Connor blurted out before realising his mistake, “Oh, no. Sorry, I mean thank you. And so sorry, for yesterday. I was just- Anyway, sorry doc.”

“Don’t worry, boy. I understand. But your friend is going to make a full recovery. Just remember, no sports or physical work for two weeks,” the doctor instructed, and left the room.

Nabulungi packed their stuff into the bag, and picked out a new set of clothes for Kevin. She wiggled her eyebrows at Connor and then announced that she was going to go help Kevin pick up his prescription.

“What was that? And what happened yesterday?”

“It’s not important. How do you want to do this?” Connor held up Kevin’s clothes.

"Don't change the topic, you always do that!"

"Do what?"

“You’re exasperating to talk to, McKinley,” Kevin glared.

Connor reckoned that he is an amiable person most of the time; it is quite difficult to make him angry. Kevin Price was the only person in the world who could get Connor riled up in two seconds flat.

“You’re one to talk! Do you need my help or not?!”

“I got it,” Kevin hissed as he pushed himself up from the bed with his elbows.

“Hey, stop it Price. Just let me help, okay?” Connor tried to step in before Kevin hurts himself.

“No, not until you answer my question.”

“What are you, five? Okay, okay fine. Just- I’ll answer your question,” Connor helped Kevin to lean against the headboard.

“So what happened yesterday?”

“I sort of…was rude to the doctor,” Connor avoided Kevin’s gaze.

“What? Why?”

“Why? Why?!” Connor pinched the bridge of his nose, “because I was worried about you, dumbass!”

“Oh.”

“Enough of this. Let’s get you dressed and get out of here.”


	5. Chapter 5

Connor stared at the long, busy corridor ahead of them, “We’re almost there.”

Kevin turned and glowered at him as they slowly shuffled towards the entrance of the hospital, where Nabulungi was supposed to be waiting. Connor could see that Kevin was in a fair amount of pain, from the way he was holding himself and the measured breaths as he moved. They were also going slower and slower with each step.

“Do you need to stop?”

“No.”

Connor sighed. Maybe they should stay in the city for another night. It was safer to be near the hospital where there are doctors and nurses to help them in case something went wrong. Besides, Connor was not eager to embark on the hellish bus ride back to the village.

“We can stay here for another few days, what do you think?” Connor suggested.

“Here?”

“Not here here, like the hospital, but in the city,” Connor explained, “You can rest and get better, while I go and shop for supplies. I’ve got a long list of things that we are lacking back at the mission hut.”

Connor dug out the crumpled list from his front pocket and handed it to Kevin. Kevin’s eyes roamed down the wrinkled piece of paper.

“This is quite the long list. Well, you’re gonna need help with carrying them and I’m practically useless now, so...”

“I’m sure the other Elders wouldn’t say no to a trip to the city. What d’ya say?”

“What about Nabulungi?”

“I haven’t asked her yet,” Connor admitted sheepishly, “Oh, there she is!”

Kevin must have moved wrong when he suddenly froze and grabbed Connor’s arm for support.

“Oh gosh, what’s wrong?” Connor froze as well.

The both of them stayed rooted to the same place for a few seconds before Nabulungi bounded over to them.

“What took you two so long?” She took in Kevin’s appearance, “What’s the matter?”

Kevin slowly exhaled the breath that he had been holding and shook his head, “Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s go.”

They started forward again, and Connor noticed that Kevin did not let go of his arm as they moved. Which was fine by Connor. More than fine.

“What are you smiling at?” Kevin was looking at him as though Connor had gone mad.

“Huh?” Connor did not even realise what his face was doing, “Uh nothing.”

Kevin studied Connor for a little longer before he looked away, “I’m glad to see that me being in pain is amusing you.”

“Of course not, don’t be silly,” Connor stopped smiling, that couldn’t be further away from the truth.

They continued walking for a while before Connor remembered, “Nabulungi, Elder Price and I will be staying in the city for a few more days. Would you like to join us?”

Nabulungi laughed, “Oh no Elder McKinley, I’d better be getting back to my father. I promised I’ll help him with…some things.”

She gave him a wink behind Kevin’s back. Connor ignored her jest, and started to plan his mental to-do list. He started walking a little too quickly unconsciously, when Kevin pulled on his arm and shot him a dirty look.

“Oops, Sorry.”

He already had an idea of where they were going to be staying. It was the same hotel which he had stayed with Poptarts when they first arrived in Uganda. They had landed in Kampala in the evening, and by the time they reached Kitgum, the bus services to the villages had ceased. Without the help of Google Maps, they went into the very first hotel they saw. The place turned out okay, much to their surprise. It was nothing like what they were used to back home, but the beds were clean and the bathrooms had running water.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The three of them walk slowly in companionable silence to the bus station, where Connor and Kevin bid Nabulungi goodbye. Kevin still had a hold on Connor’s arm, and was looking thoroughly worn out by the short trek. It was a good thing the hotel was only a stone’s throw away from the bus station. 

“Almost there, a few more steps,” Connor wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

Kevin nodded tersely, his own face glistening with sweat.

The unrelenting sun had been beating down on them since they left the hospital. Connor had already sweat through his shirt. The sheltered lobby of the hotel was a welcome respite to the heat.

Connor checked them in at the counter while Kevin just stared blankly ahead.

“Are you okay?” Connor asked worriedly.

“Yeah, just tired.”

Connor paid for three nights with the credit card that his parents had given him to be used in case of emergencies. This was totally counted as a case of emergency in his opinion.

“Do you have a phone I can use?” Connor asked the lady behind the counter.

“Phone, there,” she pointed to a payphone across the lobby.

They were shown to their twin room by an old man, who was thankfully walking at a pace which even Kevin could keep up with. The old man left them to their room with a toothless grin.

“Thank you so much,” Connor returned the grin and closed the door.

Kevin finally let go of Connor’s arm and slowly lowered himself onto one of the two beds with a groan. He had a hand pressed to his side.

“Do you want to lie down?” Connor was at a loss about what to do.

“I feel kinda gross, I think I’ll take a shower first,” Kevin gestured to his shoes, “Connor could you…I can’t-”

“Sure thing,” Connor helped to take off Kevin's shoes, which he had helped to put on in the first place.

"Thanks."

“Are you sure you want to take a shower? Do you need any help?” Connor realised how that sounded, “I mean- I didn’t mean help with the showering itself. I just meant-”

Kevin chuckled softly, “It’s okay. I think I can manage.”

“Just don’t get your bandage wet. And holler if you need help,” Connor helped Kevin up from the bed and into the small bathroom.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

 

Connor paced around the small room as Kevin took his shower. The water was finally shut off, and Connor listened intently for any sounds of distress. The bathroom door opened after a good fifteen minutes. Kevin emerged from the bathroom with just his boxers, and Connor tried not to stare. Although he did take a peek to see if Kevin followed the doctor’s instruction of keeping his bandage dry.

“Umm…how was the shower?”

“Refreshing. Now I’m ready for bed,” Kevin yawned.

Connor helped Kevin get situated in his bed, “I’m going to use the payphone in the lobby. Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Uh huh,” Kevin was already halfway asleep.

Connor placed a bottle of water on the nightstandbeside Kevin’s bed, just in case, before slipping out of the room.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

 

He hoped that there was someone in the mission hut to pick up his call. The phone only rang twice before it was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Poptarts.”

“Connor! Oh gosh, we were so worried about Elder Price. Elder Cunningham is driving everyone crazy with his fretting. Is Elder Price okay?”

“Yeah, he had to have surgery but he’s fine now. Listen, we’re going to be staying in Kitgum for a few more days. I was thinking maybe the Elders would like to come over tomorrow for a visit, maybe help to replenish the supplies for the hut.”

“Hold on,” Poptarts said to Connor before yelling for the other Elders in the hut, “Guys! Elder McKinley has asked us to make a trip down to the city tomorrow. Supply run. The two of them will be staying there for a few more days.”

There was a sudden scruffle across the line, which ended with Poptarts cussing at someone, before Elder Cunningham’s voice boomed through the receiver, “Elder McKinley! How is Kevin?! Can I speak with him?”

“He’s fine now, Elder Cunningham. We just left the hospital this morning, and he’s asleep. You can come to Kitgum with the others to see for yourself,” Connor reassured him, “Could you pass the phone back to Elder Thomas, please?”

Poptarts came back on the line, “Yes?”

“Hey, I’m gonna need you to help bring me more clothes, and my computer,” Connor asked.

“Sure thing. How are you doing?”

“Okay, I guess. It’s been a long two days. I gotta hang up and go check on Kev- Elder Price. So I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Poptarts confirmed where Connor and Kevin were staying before they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Connor trudged back to their room. He could use a shower and some sleep himself.

After his shower, Connor decided to follow in Kevin’s footsteps of forgoing clothes. Mostly because he did not have any left. He had rinsed out the sweat and grime of his clothes, and they were now hanging outside the window to dry.

He set an alarm on his watch for Kevin’s next dose of medication, and flopped back into the lumpy mattress. Connor missed his bed back home.


	6. Chapter 6

The incessant beeping of his watch woke Connor up from his dreamless sleep. For a second, he was confused as to why he had set his alarm, before he remembered.

Kevin’s back was facing Connor, his thin blanket lying in a heap on the floor. Connor picked it up, gave it a good shake, and laid it over Kevin. He fished out the small paper bag containing Kevin’s medicine, and studied the labels intently. At least two of them were required to be taken with food. How could he have forgotten to get food? He had not even realised how ravenous he was. Fortunately for them, the hotel had a small restaurant.

Connor was about to exit the room for the restaurant when he remembered that he was not wearing clothes.

“Oh crap,” he muttered to himself, realising that his shirts were still not dried yet, “Hmmm..”

He could probably just put on his slightly damp shirt, but his pants were still dripping wet.

Or maybe he could wear one of Kevin’s?

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Kevin’s sudden input startled Connor, “Geesh, you scared me. How long have you been awake?”

“The alarm woke me up,” Kevin rubbed at his eyes sleepily.

“Oh. Uhh...” Connor stood at the foot of Kevin’s bed awkwardly, very aware of the fact that he was not wearing any clothes. And Kevin had been awake the whole time?!

“What?” Kevin frowned.

“I was just gonna go get some food for us,” Connor rubbed at his neck self-consciously.

“You’re acting weird, McKinley.”

“No?” Connor thanked Heavenly Father that he was not blushing right now, “since you’re awake. Do you wanna come with? The restaurant is just down the hall, I think?”

“I’m not moving an inch until I get my opioids.”

Connor pulled his damp shirt over his head. It felt as gross as he had expected.

“Well, you gotta eat before you can have them. What do you want to eat? I was told that they serve continental food.”

“Which continent do they even mean?” Kevin sighed, “you know what, I’m not all that hungry right now.”

“I don’t know, Europe? You haven’t eaten in what? More than twenty-four hours? I’ll just get you a sandwich,” Connor wondered if he could just pop by the restaurant in his boxers. Was that legal in Uganda?

“I don’t want shitty European food. Can you get me some Posho instead?”

“Remind me again what that is?” Unlike Kevin, Connor never really got used to the taste of Ugandan food. He had to admit that they were tasty sometimes. But if he was given a choice between whatever Kevin just said, and a sandwich, Connor would pick the sandwich any day.

“Corn flavoured Playdoh, as Arnold calls it,” Kevin prompted, “it’s Kimbay’s favourite dish to cook, remember?”

Connor did remember. Kimbay would sometimes invite the Elders to her house for lunch, and the dish had been served several times, each time with a different gravy or side.

“Okay then, Pooshoo it is,” Connor nodded, and unlocked the door.

“Wait, you aren’t wearing any pants,” Kevin commented.

Connor could feel his face heating up, “Uh I’ve run out of clean ones. Can I borrow one of yours? And your shirt too?”

Kevin nodded, staring at Connor lazily.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“I’ve gotten us the Pooshoo with some kind of vegetable stew on the side,” Connor announced as he pushed open the door.

Kevin was still in the same position as Connor left him.

“It’s Posho,” Kevin corrected.

“On the bed or at the table?” Connor asked.

Kevin held out his arm for the food, “Give it here.”

“You gotta sit up first. Need my help with that?”

“Maybe,” Kevin’s arm remained in the air.

Connor took Kevin’s arm with one hand, and slipped his other hand behind Kevin’s back. Even though Connor did most of the work, he could still feel Kevin tremble with the effort. He got Kevin seated against the wall, and handed him his plate of food. Kevin picked up the fork and took an experimental bite of the Posho.

“How is it?”

“Edible. Not as good as Kimbay’s, of course,” Kevin shrugged and poked at the wilted vegetables.

Connor didn’t think it would be. But he had not eaten since last night and everything tasted heavenly to him right now.

“So, all the Elders are coming over to visit tomorrow. Should be fun,” Connor munched on a piece of sweet potato, “They were all very worried about you, especially your companion.”

Kevin did not look convinced, “Yeah.”

“Why? You don’t think that Elder Cunningham cares about you?” Connor was genuinelyshocked.

Any human being with functioning eyes could see that Arnold treated Kevin like he was the most important person in his life. It was especially so, after their fight and Kevin’s incident with Butt-effing-naked. There wasn’t much in this world that Arnold takes seriously, he is just the happy-go-lucky type of guy, but god forbid if someone hurts his precious Kevin.

Elder Church learnt that the hard way. It had started off as a normal night, but against their better judgement, the Elders decided to play a game of spin-the-bottle. That somehow led to Church saying some awful things to Kevin, and Kevin tearing up and locking himself in his room, and Arnold almost punching Church in the face. Connor had to step in and stop Arnold, of course, even though he thought that Church might have deserved it that time. Not that Connor condones physical violence, but what Church said to Kevin that night was mean and totally uncalled for. After that incident, they never played spin-the-bottle ever again.

Kevin sighed, “Of course I do. I’m not talking about Arnold.”

“Who are you talking about, then? Elder Church? You know he doesn’t mean half the things he says.”

Kevin ignored Connor’s probing and ate sullenly. At least he was eating, but Connor was determined to get to the bottom of this.

“If you haven’t noticed already, all we have is one another now, thousands of miles away from home. We don’t even have the church to rely on anymore. I know some of us don’t get along as well as we'd like to, but we’re kinda like a family, don’t you think? Of course everyone cares about you.”

Kevin shook his head and looked out of the window, “I don’t think anyone likes me that much to be honest. Except for Arnold, but he has a screw loose.”

Connor was about to rebut when Kevin stopped him, “And don’t tell me that it’s not true. I’m not an idiot, I can see for myself. Nobody really likes me, not in school, not back home, not at church, certainly not here.”

“But that really is not true, Kevin. All the Bishops at church liked you a lot. They’ve spoken so highly of you, I’ve heard of your name before I even met you.”

“No, they liked the model Mormon boy who followed every rule and did everything the church asked. They don’t even know me.”

“Okay, what about me then? Would I bother doing all this if I hated you?” Connor gestured to the room.

“I know you, Connor. You’re too kind. You’ll sacrifice yourself for a random stranger on the street,” Kevin smiled slightly, “and I’m not saying that everyone hates me. I’m just saying that people spend time with me only because they have to, and not because they want to. You should know, I don’t exactly make friends easily. But it’s all fine by me, I don’t care.”

Connor could tell that Kevin was lying. He did care, and was deeply affected by it. Connor had no idea that Kevin was troubled. He had always appeared so confident and sociable on the outside.

“I know you won’t believe it when I say, but you are wrong Kevin,” Connor knew all too well that this issue that Kevin had was not something that could be easily resolved with just a few words.

“And you are right, I don’t believe you,” Kevin smirked.

Connor started planning and thinking of ways he could show Kevin Price that he was well-loved, by the Elders, by the villagers, and by Connor. Very well-loved.


	7. Chapter 7

Kevin managed to finish a quarter of his Posho before he gave up. By the time Connor polished his own plate of food, he had already come up with several different ideas on how to cheer Kevin up.

Connor dropped the pharmacy bag on Kevin’s lap, which Kevin eagerly opened like a kid with presents on Christmas morning. He rummaged through the small bag, “NSAID…antibiotics…Oh Tramadol!”

Kevin grinned, as he held a flat white pill in between his thumb and forefinger, “I’ve read that this is currently the most widely abused drug in Africa.”

Trust Kevin to know that. Connor was not as enthusiastic about science and medicine as Kevin. As long as they worked after he takes them, he doesn't care about the how or why. He was more of a performing arts person, fully intended on moving to New York after his mission, and live his dream of performing on stage.

Connor knew that Kevin wanted to be a doctor. Everyone knew that Kevin wanted to be a doctor. Kevin announces it to the whole world now and again, and he also liked to remind people how he was going to apply for Harvard or Stanford when he finishes his mission in Uganda. Schools which Connor could only dream of getting into.

“Okay Dr Price, just make sure that you don’t end up like one of them addicts,” Connor laughed, as he tidied up their room.

“Hey, Connor?”

Kevin’s quiet voice stopped Connor in his tracks. He turned his full attention onto Kevin and waited for him to continue.

“What I said earlier,” Kevin sighed, “just…forget about it, okay? I’m good, really.”

It was unsettling how Kevin always knows what Connor was thinking. Connor admits that he is somewhat of an open book, but he has not met anyone who was as attuned to his thoughts and feelings as Kevin Price.

No, Connor was not going to forget it. No freaking way. However, he knew better than to argue with Kevin, “Yeah, alright. But remember, I’m always here if you need to talk. About anything. And for the record, I do care about you, a lot. Not just as your district leader, but as a friend.”

Kevin just nodded.

“Right, what do you want to do now?” Connor clapped his hands together, “naptime?”

“I think I’ve slept enough,” Kevin carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed, “do you want to go for a walk?”

“Are you sure? Yeah okay,” Connor agreed, “good thing you still have an extra set of clothes.”

“Yep. Help me up.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

 

“How did you find this place? It’s nice,” Kevin was perched on the ledge of a small water fountain.

“Poptarts and I stayed here once, on the first night of our mission,” Connor explained, “our flight got delayed, and by the time we came to Kitgum, it was too late to get a bus.”

“At least you didn’t get robbed,” Kevin laughed.

“Speaking of getting robbed,” Connor sighed, “we’re kinda running low on funds. I haven’t told anyone yet. Well, except Poptarts, and now you. I’ve been trying to contact some non-profit organisations. But I’ve gotten nothing back yet.”

“Do you think we should go back home?” Kevin pondered.

“Do you want to?”

“No, not really,” Kevin shook his head, “what we have here is really special, and I’m not ready to give it up just yet.”

 

Connor nodded his agreement, “Do you think you’ll come back someday? After you get your flashy Ivy League medical degree? Join Doctors without Borders, and continue helping the Ugandans?”

“Maybe? I don’t know,” Kevin shrugged, “what about you? I rarely hear you talk about your plans for the future. What are you going to do after you go back to America?”

“Move to New York? Work at Starbucks while trying to score a job at some theatre,” Connor dug at the sandy ground with the tip of his shoe. 

Connor was well aware that his plan was foolishly ambitious. If he did not make it, he could end up with nothing. That was a very scary prospect for Connor McKinley, who always had back-up plans to his back-up plans. But he had never wanted anything more than this. 

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

After their brief break, Connor helped Kevin up from the fountain and resumed walking around the hotel premises.

“What about college?” Kevin asked, “knowing you, you must have some back-up plan in case things don’t work out?”

“Nice to think that you have such low opinions of my talent,” Connor hit Kevin on his shoulder, which caused him to stumble and grimace in pain.

“Ow, Connor!” Kevin glared.

“Oh sorry, sorry! I forgot,” Connor mentally slapped himself, “enough walking, huh? Let’s go back.”

They proceeded back to their room, passing by the payphone in the lobby.

“Hey, do you want to call your parents?” Connor pointed to the phone.

“What the hell for?” Kevin exclaimed incredulously.

“I don’t know, they probably want to know how you’re doing, right?”

“Wait,” Kevin pulled Connor to a stop, “did you tell them about this?”

Connor shook his head, and Kevin was visibly relieved.

“You’re not going to let them know what happened,” Connor guessed.

“Are you crazy? Of course not! What they don’t know won’t hurt them,” Kevin waved, “I’m in no mood to deal with my parents right now.”

“Are they still angry? I know mine are,” Connor asked.

None of their parents were particularly pleased with what had happened, and with their decision to stay in Uganda. Actually, that was probably a major understatement. During the very first week of being excommunicated, all the Elders were so fed up with answering angry phone calls from their parents, Elder Neely ‘accidentally’ left the phone unplugged for a whole two weeks.

“Angry?" Kevin laughed bitterly, “They are practically unhinged. They’re convinced that Arnold is the devil’s incarnate, who is sent to brainwash me and drag my soul down to the fiery depths of Mormon hell.”

There wasn't any Mormon in Salt Lake City who has not heard of The Prices. They were devout and conservative, the perfect model of a Mormon family. The church loved Mr and Mrs Price, and churchgoers held them in high esteem. Even Connor’s parents looked up to The Prices. They were over the moon when they found that Kevin Price was going to be joining their son in Uganda.

“I heard you, on the phone with your parents last week,” Connor admitted, “they sounded really intense.”

Connor had not meant to eavesdrop, but the shouting and yelling through the receiver of the phone was loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear. Kevin listened silently as his parents lamented about how he had brought shame to his family, and how they had lost the respect of everyone in the community. They made it clear to Kevin that he was to blame for all these, and he was condemning his whole family to hell with him. After an hour of berating and threats of dragging Kevin back to America, Kevin finally had enough and hung up on them without saying a single word. Connor remembered how Kevin had disappeared for the rest of the day.

“They stopped sending me money since last week. And I will be grounded for eternity once I go back, until I have atoned for my sins,” Kevin snorted.

“So they won’t be paying for your college then?”

“Fuck no,” Kevin cussed, “I’ll get a scholarship and move to Boston, and then I’ll be free from all that insanity.”

Connor wondered if Kevin has always felt suffocated by his uptight parents. Connor couldn’t imagine being in Kevin’s shoes, carrying the weight of the family's name and reputation on his shoulders while trying to live up to the high expectations set by his devout parents.

“They’re still your parents, though.”

“Unfortunately so. I’m just glad that I could finally be myself. You have no idea how hard it was to-,” Kevin sigh, “you know what? I don’t want to talk about them anymore.”

“What do you want to talk about, then?”

“Let’s talk about you,” Kevin smiled.

“Me? There’s nothing much to talk about."

“Nabulungi was talking to me last night, at the hospital.”

“What? What did she say?” Connor’s heart skipped a beat at Kevin’s words. She wouldn’t have, would she? What if she did? Connor regretted admitting his crush on Kevin. He should have kept it to himself dang it! Now Kevin was going to put an end to their friendship, one of the few good things left in Connor's life. 

Kevin frowned, “Why are you so upset?”

“I’m not upset,” Connor declared too quickly, “Go on, what did she say?”

“Okay?” Kevin eyed him warily, “she was just worried about you. You’ve been working too hard lately.”

Connor blinked in surprise. That was not what he had expected at all, and now he felt guilty for doubting Nabulungi.

“Oh, yeah. No, I’m okay. Maybe a little stressed out but I’m okay.”

“What did you not want Nabulungi to tell me?”

“Hmm? What? Nothing, what do you mean?” Connor feigned ignorance.

Kevin took a deep calming breath. Connor felt like he was in trouble.

When Kevin spoke again, his tone was calm, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Nabulungi, but you two have been sharing some kind of a secret since we came to Kitgum. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to tell me, just don’t lie to me like I’m an idiot, okay?”

Connor could not trust himself to speak without lying or saying something stupid, so he nodded tersely.

“And you know something? You’re the worst liar I have ever met,” Kevin patted on Connor’s shoulder with a tight smile.


	8. Chapter 8

Connor was enjoying the sunset in the treehouse that the Elders have built on one of the trees beside the mission hut. It was not an actual house, more of a wooden platform secured with lots and lots of rope. It was Connor’s favourite place to unwind after a hard day’s work. He comes up here in the evenings, when the others are busy with washing up and cooking dinner.

The creaking of the wooden steps below the platform signalled the arrival of another person.

“Elder Price,” Connor greeted without turning around.

“Dinner is ready,” Kevin sat himself down beside Connor, their shoulders touching, “it’s so beautiful up here.”

Connor turned and faced Kevin, who was bathed in the golden rays of the setting sun. It was a sight that Connor could not bear to look away from, “Yes, it is.”

Kevin turned, “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

Connor took a deep breath and steeled himself. He leaned in and kissed Kevin on his lips. When Kevin did not respond, Connor opened his eyes and pulled away.

“What the fuck, McKinley?!” Kevin was infuriated, and Connor had never seen him that angry, ever.

With a rough shove from Kevin, Connor lost his grip on the wooden platform and he was falling.

Falling further and further away from the platform;

And the ground grew closer and closer.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

With a gasp, Connor opened his eyes and all he saw was a white ceiling. He was lying on something soft. He was on a bed, in the hotel, in Kitgum. With Kevin. Connor gulped as his heart was still beating a mile per minute.

“Pull it together, Connor McKinley,” he whispered to himself as he scrubbed at his face.

Connor turned his head and found Kevin’s unmade bed empty. He sat up abruptly as his eyes roamed around the tiny room, settling on the closed door of the bathroom.

Connor strode over and knocked twice on the wooden door, “Elder Price? You okay in there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Connor took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, and wiped the sweat off his brows with the back of his hand. He was both slightly rattled and embarrassed by his dream. It was the first time he had dreamt of kissing Kevin. Connor blamed it on the exhaustion, and the stress, and getting cooped up in a tiny room with Kevin. And Nabulungi getting into his head. The Elders coming over for a visit would be a perfect distraction for Connor.

Lost in his own thoughts, Connor did not notice the bathroom door opening. He was just inches away from Kevin’s face.

Kevin jumped in surprise and clutched at his side with a wince, “Don’t do that!”

Kevin glared at him, and Connor was reminded of his dream at once. He tried to put on his best poker face.

“Sorry, umm...well I’m going to go get us breakfast. The Elders should be here in two hours,” Connor was looking everywhere but at Kevin, “Oh look, my clothes are dry.”

“Connor? What-,”

Connor slid passed Kevin and shut the bathroom door before Kevin could finish.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

They finished their breakfast in silence, mainly because Connor buried his head in his lists of chores, supplies, and plans.He was checking all of them for the third time.

“Can I help?” Kevin asked, “I’m bored.”

Connor debated saying no, but experience has thought him that a bored Kevin Price spells trouble. He had not forgotten that the previous time Kevin announced his boredom. The mission hut almost got burnt down as a result.

Connor tore out a blank page from his notepad and handed it over to Kevin, “Alright, you can plan for our next birthday party.”

“I can do that,” Kevin shrugged, “who’s party am I planning for?”

Connor ran through the calendar in his mind. Poptarts' birthday was three weeks ago, Elder Neely’s birthday was in two months, and the next month was July, which means the next birthday boy was...Connor.

“Mine? Forget it. Here, you can help me to check through the medical supplies list again,” Connor held out another piece of paper.

“Oh no no,” Kevin shrunk away from Connor’s arm, “I’ll plan the party. It’ll be the best party district nine has ever thrown.”

“Fine,” Connor conceded, “but you’ll still have to work within the budget I have allocated.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

The Elders arrived at noon, their knocking interrupted Connor's ninth check through his lists. Connor stood up from the bed, and Kevin pressed his piece of paper against his chest, “No peeking.”

Connor rolled his eyes and proceeded to the door. He did not miss the mischievous grin that Kevin was giving him. He rolled his eyes even harder to cover up his own smile. What a dork.

Before the door was fully opened, Connor was attacked by a big Arnold hug, “McKinley!”

“Nice to see you too, Elder Cunningham,” Connor choked out.

Arnold let go of Connor once he spotted his best friend, “Kevin!”

For a second, Connor was worried that Arnold was going to give Kevin his signature bone-crushing hug too, but Arnold just plopped himself down next to Kevin on the bed and gave him a side hug, “How are you feeling, bud? I was so worried!”

"Aw Arn, I'm okay," Kevin returned the hug.

Connor greeted all the other Elders who filed into the tiny room, followed by Nabulungi.

“So, what have you two been doing?” Nabulungi asked.

“Nothing much. Boring stuff,” Connor sighed. 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

Kevin was chatting with the Elders, who took up position all over Connor’s bed, and Connor was left with the empty spot beside Kevin. Connor found himself being shoved towards Kevin by Nabulungi.

“Nabulungi,” Connor complained softly, but was only met with Nabulungi’s Chesire grin. He was feeling miserable enough without Nabulungi reminding him of his pining at every turn. She pushed Connor down onto the bed, and sat down beside him, trapping Connor between Kevin and herself.

He was sitting beside Kevin, just like in the dream.

“So, Elder McKinley, what's the plan?” Elder Michaels was looking through the lists which Connor has left on the bed.

From the corner of his eye, Connor could see Kevin stop his chatter with Arnold, and turning his full attention onto Connor.

“We’ll break up into groups, and each group can be responsible for a list. Let’s see,” Connor paused to study his lists, “Elder Church and Elder Michaels, you two will be in charge buying groceries from the market. Elder Davis and Elder Neely, you two can get the non-food supplies-”

Kevin interrupted, “And also this list of supplies we’ll need for Mckinley’s birthday party.”

“A party! Cool!” Elder Michaels cheered.

Connor tried to intercept the piece of paper, but Kevin slapped Connor’s hands away, “Nope, you don’t get to see it.”

“We cannot afford to waste money on unnecessary things."

“Don’t worry, they are definitely necessities,” Kevin smiled innocently.

Elder Neely glanced over the list that he has been handed, “Oh yeah, totally necessary stuff that we totally need.”

“Totally!” Elder Davis chimed.

“Just so you know, I’m not giving you two any extra money for this,” Connor waved the stack of Ugandan shillings in front of Elder Davis and Elder Neely.

Connor continued, “Elder Thomas and I will be getting the medical supplies. Elder Cunningham, you will be staying here with Elder Price.”

“Got it!” Arnold gave Connor a salute.

“You forgot me,” Nabulungi elbowed Connor in his side.

“You are free to do whatever you want, Nabulungi,” Connor answered while he distributed the stack of money, “Remember Elders, no unnecessary purchases.”

The Elders started discussing their plans amongst themselves, filling the room with loud chatter. After a few minutes, the Elders started to head off to complete their tasks.

Connor’s list was rudely snatched from his grip by Kevin.

“But I’m bored,” Kevin protested.

“No you won’t be, not with Elder Cunningham here,” Connor disagreed, “and you’re supposed to be resting.”

Besides, Connor believed that spending a few hours without Kevin Price by his side will set his head straight again. Furthermore, he needed to talk to Poptarts and catch up on the shenanigans which have happened while he was away.

“Fine,” Kevin handed the list back. Connor watched as Kevin slowly scooched back into his bed and lay down with a muffled groan.

“Shall we?” Poptarts tapped on Connor’s shoulder and motioned at the door.

Connor nodded and packed his bag. His eyes roamed over to Kevin, who was resting with his eyes closed. Connor was suddenly having second thoughts about leaving Kevin in Arnold’s care. What if they decided to do something stupid, like they usually do when left unsupervised?

“Remember to take your pills, and don’t forget to eat something before doing so,” Connor checked his watch, “you can have your pain meds in 45 minutes.”

Arnold stopped picking at a stain on his pants and looked up at Connor, “Oh don’t worry, Elder McKinley! I will take care of my best friend! Once, my hamster got sick and I had to take care of it.”

“Okay?” Connor waited for him to continue.

“Sadly, it died. But it’s all fine, my dad got me a new one.”

“Yes, because that sounds very non-worrying at all,” Connor snorted, “Nabulungi, you’re staying here, right?”

Nabulungi raised her eyebrows, “Oh sure thing, Elder McKinley! I will take good care of Elder Price for you!”

Poptarts chuckled at the indignant look on Connor’s face.

“Nabulungi!” Connor hissed.

“Jesus, I’m not a child, you guys,” Kevin muttered, his eyes still closed.

“No you’re not, but you can’t even sit up without assistance right now,” Connor pointed out.

“I’ll have you know that I made it out of bed all by myself this morning!” Kevin bragged.

“And I cannot imagine that it was a pleasant experience,” Connor said, “you should have woken me up.”

Connor could never understand Kevin’s reluctance to accept help from anyone else. Even without his faith, Kevin was very much still the same stubbornly-independent missionary who thought that he could single-handedly change how a crazy warlord thinks.

“Whatever,” Kevin shrugged, “you’re such a nag.”

Sometimes, Connor was not sure if he likes Kevin Price, or actually hates him.


	9. Chapter 9

Connor was right. Spending some time alone with his mission companion did help to clear his head. Poptarts was the only person that Connor could talk to about anything and everything, including his love life, or the lack thereof.

During the three hours they spent out in the city, Connor and Poptarts chatted about everything under the sun, from the kids back at the village, to how Poptarts’ phone call with his parents went. It didn’t go very well, but at least it went better than Kevin’s phone call with his parents.

Poptarts was humming along to a hymn as they slowly made their way back to the hotel.

Connor began, “Hey, you know how I’ve been reaching out to people, trying to get us some funding?”

Poptarts stopped humming, “Yeah I know, how’s that going?”

“It’s not going anywhere,” Connor sighed,“do you think we should just go back home?”

“Oh,” Poptarts frowned as he pondered.

“Kevin thinks that we should stay,” Connor added.

“Kevin, huh?” Poptarts grinned.

Connor gritted his teeth, “Not you too. What?!”

“Nothing. I just rarely hear you call Elder Price by his first name. You don’t even call me by my first name,” Poptarts grinned wider.

“You’ll always be Poptarts to me. Besides, I know way too many Chrises, and most of them are jerks,” Connor waved his hand in frustration, “That’s not the point. Point is, I don’t know if this is all a huge mistake.”

“It’s not a mistake, Connor. It’ll all work out fine, you’ll see.”

“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?” Connor narrowed his eyes at his friend.

“Yes,” Poptarts answered matter-of-factly, “is it working?”

“It’s not,” Connor groaned.

“Look, you’re just stressed out from everything that has happened. And when you’re stressed, you get all pessimistic and testy. Just take this few days off to rest and relax,” Poptarts suggested, “maybe you’ll even think of some new ideas after you’re properly rested.”

“Relax, yeah right,” Connor scoffed. There was no way he would be able to rest and relax with a recuperating Kevin Price on his hands.

“Why, don’t you enjoy spending quality time with Elder Price?” Poptarts teased, “No one to intrude, you two could-”

“Shush,” Connor spotted Elder Davis and Elder Neely walking towards them.

“Elder McKinley! Elder Thomas! Hey!” The pair greeted.

“Hey, Elders,” Poptarts waved, “better not let Elder McKinley see what you’ve got him for his surprise birthday party! Go on, I’ll stall him.”

With that, Elder Davis and Elder Neely changed direction abruptly, away from Connor and Poptarts, while clutching their shopping bags tighter to their chest.

“What was that for?” Connor asked, confused. Since when did Poptarts care so much about a dumb birthday party.

Poptarts stopped walking and grabbed Connor’s shoulder, “I wanted to talk to you about Elder Price.”

“Ugh, I regret ever telling you anything,” Connor turned away, and resumed walking.

“No you don’t. You love telling me everything,” Poptarts kept up with Connor, “I’m just worried. Did something happen between you two? You were being weird just now.”

“What?” Connor laughed airily, “nothing happened. I wasn’t weird, I was just…you know, so not weird. I was acting perfectly normally.”

“Right,” Poptarts was unconvinced, “you were clearly uncomfortable sitting next to Price. One week ago, you two would’ve been all over each other, laughing and joking like there weren’t anyone else in the room. But this morning, you were trying to avoid talking to him altogether. I don’t understand, I thought you like hanging out with him?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired of Kevin, it’s been a long two days. And you should know, he’s not the easiest person to hang out with,” Connor lied. He would never get tired of Kevin. He was just tired of having that sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he was reminded that his feelings for Kevin was unrequited. That dream of his certainly did not help matters.

“Do you want to go back to the village today, then?”

“I can’t leave Kevin here alone?” Connor shook his head.

“I’m sure Elder Cunningham would be more than happy to stay and help,” Poptarts suggested.

“That’s a really bad idea. And you know that,” Connor chuckled.

“Or I could stay here with Elder Price.”

“You would? Really?!” Connor was surprised. Poptarts is always friendly towards Kevin, and is tolerant of most of his antics, but Connor knew that he found Kevin’s loud energy intrusive and overwhelming at times. He would most definitely prefer having quiet introspection time to hearing Kevin yammer away all day about how bored he was.

“For you, Connor, I would. I just want to make sure that you’re happy,” Poptarts declared, “Besides, he’d just be all drugged up and sleeping all day, right?”

“You wish,” Connor was genuinely touched by Poptarts’ concern, “but it’s fine. I’ll just stay here for another two days. Thanks though, for offering. I know you’d actually hate that.”

The thing was, Connor couldn’t bring himself to give up spending time with Kevin, even though it makes him feel really good and really awful at the same time. Besides, Connor has not forgotten what Kevin had confided in him. If he took up on Poptarts’ offer, Kevin was going to assume that even Connor has had enough of him. Connor was never going to let that happen, he couldn’t bear to let Kevin think badly of himself.

“Okay, but if you need a tag team just say the word,” Poptarts said seriously.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor and Poptarts were the last pair to return to the room. The loud conversation was silenced once Connor swung open the door. Seven pairs of eyes gaped at them as they entered the room.

“What’s going on?” Connor asked, even though he knew that they must have been planning that unnecessary party of his.

“No thing?” Arnold squeaked.

Connor rolled his eyes, “Alright, have we got everything on the lists?”

Elder Church nodded proudly, “I got us some apples at half the price. Half the price!”

“Uh huh,” Connor said suspiciously, “were the apples rotten?”

“Well,” Elder Church paused, “they were less-than-half rotten. It’s still a good deal.”

“We just have to cut off the bad parts,” Elder Michaels shrugged.

Connor didn’t dare to inquire further, nor look deeper into their grocery bags.

His eyes flittered over to Kevin, who was quietly reading a book in bed. Arnold must have brought it for him.

“Whatcha reading?” Connor took a seat beside his legs.

“Book of Mormon,” Kevin murmured.

“What, why?”

“Why not?” Kevin closed his book with a snap and threw it aside, “It’s the only book I have.”

Connor made a mental note to find out where the bookstores were located in Kitgum, if there were any. Maybe a visit to the local bookstore would cheer Kevin up. Connor was baffled. He assumed that having all the Elders here would distract Kevin from his boredom, but Kevin seemed to be feeling even more down than before.

“Well, we should get going,” Elder Church stood up, “it’ll be dark by the time we reach the village.”

“Of course,” Connor nodded, tearing his eyes away from Kevin.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor bid them goodbye at the door, not before he reminded them to finish their chores and keep the mission hut clean.

“Do you want me to come by tomorrow, or?” Poptarts asked.

“It’s fine, Poptarts. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you back at the village in two days,” Connor hugged him goodbye.

When Connor shut the door behind him, he was met with Kevin looking at him glumly from the bed.

“I thought you’d be happier, with everyone dropping by and all,” Connor finally asked, “what’s the matter?”

Kevin shrugged wordlessly.

“I had Poptarts bring my computer, we could watch a movie or something,” Connor tried, “I’m not sure if the WIFI is working, but I’ve got some movies in here already. Some Disney, perharps?”

Kevin shook his head and smooshed his face into the pillow.

“Are you feeling okay?” Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s knee.

If Connor was not worried before, he most definitely was now, as Kevin was clearly stifling sobs against the pillow.

“Oh no, Kevin.”


	10. Chapter 10

It was disconcerting to see Kevin looking like that. Sure, Connor had seen Kevin tear up, from anger, he knew that Kevin hated that about himself; or from pain, like when he was sick with appendicitis. But Connor had never seen Kevin break down for real.

Connor was too distraught to even begin to guess what happened. Was it the other Elders? Was it Connor? He didn’t recall doing or saying anything that would have upset Kevin. Connor tried thinking back to this morning, when he last saw Kevin. He still seemed fine then, that meant that something must have happened while Connor was out with Poptarts. But there was nothing out of the ordinary when Connor returned. Arnold, Nabulungi, and the rest of the Elders had been their usual selves, all of them, except for Kevin.

“Hey, shhh,” Connor sat down gently beside Kevin’s trembling form.

He tried to comfort Kevin by rubbing soothing circles on his back, but it seemed to be making Kevin cry harder.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ 

It was twenty long minutes before Kevin’s sobs quietened down. Connor continued to sit by his side in silence, waiting.

“Help me up?” Kevin unburied his face from the pillow, which was now damp with tears.

Connor jumped at the opportunity to help. He was never good with waiting around in silence. Connor frowned at how warm Kevin felt as he helped Kevin sit up by the edge of the bed. He wasn’t sure if it was because of all the crying, or if Kevin was having a fever.

Connor snapped his fingers in triumph when he remembered that he bought a thermometer.

“But Poptarts brought everything back to the village. Dang it!” Connor muttered under his breath.

“What?” Kevin sniffed, alerting Connor that he was thinking out loud again.

“Oh nothing,” Connor sat on his bed opposite Kevin, their knees touching, “you’re a little warm. Should I be worried?”

Not that he wasn’t already all kinds of worried.

Kevin brought his hand up against his forehead and shrugged, “I can’t really tell.”

Connor extended his hand and felt it for himself, “Hmm, let’s just see how you’re doing in the morning.”

Kevin just nodded and stared at Connor’s knee.

The question of ‘What happened?’ was on the tip of Connor’s tongue. But he knew that it was best not to push.

“Okay then. Dinner, and then a movie, how does that sound?” Connor suggested.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?”

“I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to. You don’t have to though,” Connor held up his hand, “I just want to be sure that you’re okay.”

Kevin stared out of the window forlornly for a few minutes. He cleared his throat and explained, “Arnold brought me a letter from my parents. The postman delivered it yesterday. There was a plane ticket inside.”

“Oh,” Connor didn’t like where this was going.

“They said-,” Kevin wiped a stray tear from his cheek, “they said that if I didn’t come home now, then I didn’t need to come back at all, ever.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Kevin,” Connor was gutted.

What if Kevin decided to return to America? What if Connor never saw Kevin ever again? Or what if he decided to stay, and this was all going to end up as a big mistake, and Kevin was going to be shunned by his family for nothing, and he was going to blame it all on Connor for being such a useless district leader. Connor shook his head to stop himself from spiralling.

“Yeah, it sucks,” Kevin exhaled.

Connor was afraid to ask, but he needed to know, “What are you going to do?”

Kevin smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “Dinner, and then a movie I guess.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

The both of them were on Connor’s bed, watching The Lion King. On hindsight, Connor thought that it was a poor movie choice for that night, with Simba losing his family, Scar getting banished and what not. But Kevin seemed to be enjoying it, or at least half of it. He fell asleep halfway after taking his pain medication.

Connor switched off his laptop shortly after the credits started rolling.

He glanced down at Kevin, who was lying fast asleep on his shoulder, the tips of his hair brushing against Connor’s cheek. Connor didn’t want to wake Kevin up, but it was not the most comfortable position to be sleeping in for eight hours. He was already getting a stiff neck from keeping still throughout the movie. Besides, Kevin was warm, really warm, and Connor’s shirt was getting slightly damp with sweat.

Connor tried extending his arm to stow his laptop away, and the movement disturbed Kevin. He stirred and lifted his head from Connor’s shoulders.

“Hey, you wanna lie down?” Connor asked.

Kevin rubbed at his eyes sleepily, “I’m not in my bed.”

“I know. It’s fine, you take my bed, and I’ll take yours,” Connor freed himself from Kevin, and his blanket, “unless you want to move?”

Kevin grimaced in response.

“I think you’ve become warmer than before, do you feel sick?” Connor frowned, “Any pain?”

Kevin took a few seconds to take stock of himself, “I’m okay, I think.”

Connor huffed as he took Kevin’s arm and help him lay down, “Get some sleep. Hopefully you’ll be better when you wake up.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor spent the night tossing and turning, unable to stop thinking about Kevin Price.

Kevin has always been the one with the unlimited optimism and energy. The presence of Kevin Price makes Connor want to work doubly hard to make things work. If Kevin left the mission, Connor would be at a lost. Kevin was supposed to be the one who had everything figured out, and Connor was supposed to be the one who plans the details based off Kevin’s overly ambitious visions.

To make matters worse, Connor was on the edge of drifting off to sleep when he was startled by the sudden coughing fit Kevin had. Connor was wide awake at once, and turned towards the source of the wet racking coughs. In the dark, he could make out Kevin’s curled up form, his back facing Connor.

“Fuck,” Kevin choked out when the coughs finally stopped.

Connor felt around in the dark for the bottle of water, “That doesn’t sound good.”

“No shit,” Kevin cleared his throat, “sorry for waking you up.”

Connor’s fingers closed around the cool plastic bottle, “I wasn’t asleep yet. Here, have some water.”

Kevin rolled onto his back, “you weren’t? It’s four in the morning.”

“Can’t sleep. Happens sometimes,” Connor shrugged.

Kevin took a swig of the water, while Connor felt Kevin’s forehead with the back of his hand. He was still very warm.

“I’m very hot, aren’t I?” Kevin smirked with his eyes closed.

“Yes, very,” Connor smiled. That was the old Kevin Price he knew and love.

“Ugh no,” Kevin uttered before his body was wrecked with coughs again.

Connor was glad that they had stayed in Kitgum. At least he made one right decision amidst all the wrong ones.

“Hospital?” Connor asked.

“Nah, I’ve probably got the flu or something,” Kevin sighed, “there’s no need to go back to the hospital.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

It was eleven in the morning, when Connor and Kevin ended up back at the Kitgum hospital. Connor wondered if Kevin was going to catch a break anytime soon.

All the coughing had caused some of Kevin’s stitches to come undone, and his fever was still a cause for concern.

Connor had forgotten how long they had to wait to see a doctor. Not that he wished Kevin was sicker than he was; but a fever, a cough, and a couple of broken stitches meant that they were way down on the doctors’ list of priorities. He braced himself for a long long wait.

The exhaustion from his sleepless night was making him more irritable than normal, but Connor forced himself to stay calm no matter what. He didn’t want a repeat performance of the previous time he was here.

Sitting quietly beside Connor, Kevin was taking shallow, measured breaths, so as not to set off another bout of coughing.

Connor recounted, “You may not remember it, but the last time we were here, it took three hours of waiting before someone came to check on you.”

“And you almost punched someone in rage,” Kevin added quietly.

“I did no such thing!” Connor gave a look of mock offence. He was not a violent person, even though he did come very close to losing his cool that night.

“Or that’s what Nabalungi said,” Kevin shrugged, “I don’t really remember the details of that night.”

Unfortunately, Connor remembered every single minute of it, and he was sure that the hospital staff did too. He blushed as he spotted one of the nurses stare pointedly at them, commented something to his colleague, who then stared in their direction too.

“Oh no,” Connor sank lower in his seat and hid his face behind his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?” Connor looked at Kevin between his fingers.

“Sit up, will you? You’re sliding off the chair.”

Connor pushed himself upright reluctantly. He sighed, “I may have lost my temper and yelled at the staff a couple of times that evening.”

“Don’t forget, you also caused the nurse to trip and drop all her stuff on the floor,” Kevin kindly reminded him.

“Thanks Kevin,” Connor said indignantly, “I’m probably the ‘rude and angry white boy’ in their break room conversations. This is embarrassing.”

Kevin chuckled before he realised that it was a bad idea, and was overtaken by painful coughs again. Hunched over himself, Kevin whined, “My body hates me.”

Connor winced in sympathy. The urge to march over to the nurses’ station was overwhelming, but Nabulungi was right, being a nuisance was only going to make things worse.

“Oh! It is you boys again!” A female voice called out.

Connor didn’t dare look up at whoever was yelling at them. Did they really make that big of an impression? Maybe it would have been better if they had gone to another hospital where nobody had seen them before.

Connor briefly wondered if he could feign ignorance and pretend to be someone else, and then he realised that there was no way that was going to work for him in Uganda.


	11. Chapter 11

Both of them looked up at the lady in front of them. It was the nurse who tripped over Connor’s legs just two days ago.

“Umm, hi,” Connor waved shyly.

“What are you boys doing back so soon? Everything good?” She smiled.

Connor exhaled in relief. The nurse was nice, and they were not getting kicked out of the hospital.

“No, actually. Kevin is sick, and he needs his stitches redone,” Connor explained.

“Come, let’s have the doctor take a look at you.”

The nurse ushered them towards an empty cot in the corner of a crowded ward. She assured them that the doctor will be here in a minute, which Connor highly doubted, and went off to attend to other patients.

All the chairs in the room were occupied, so Connor had to sit on the cot beside Kevin's legs, “Fair warning, when they say ‘a minute’, they usually mean three hours.”

“Oh cool. Nice, I get to spend more time in this place. I love hospitals so much,” Kevin deadpanned.

“I’m sure you do, don’t you want to be a doctor?” Connor teased.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “I want to work at a hospital, not be in one.”

Connor rummaged through his backpack, “Are you hungry? I bought us some snacks yesterday. And Elder Church left us three of his half-than-rotten apples.”

Kevin made a face of disgust, “No thanks.”

Connor shrugged and bit into his apple, the non-rotten part of course. He studied the other occupants of the ward, who were all children, with their parents by their sides.

“Oh look, Kevin! I think you’re in the paediatric ward,” Connor laughed, “do you think they put you here because they know that you’re too childish for the adult ward?”

“What?” Kevin narrowed his eyes at Connor, “you’re the childish one, idiot.”

Connor laughed harder at Kevin’s lacking insult.

“Shut up and eating your fucking apple,” Kevin huffed.

“Geesh, mind your language, Elder, there are children present.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor finished his apple an hour ago. The doctor was still nowhere to be seen. He was currently working on his computer, trying to draft a letter to one of his favourite tutor at the missionary training centre. Maybe she could help pull some strings. Or maybe not, but Connor had nothing to lose anymore.

“Connor?”

“Yeah?” Connor answered without looking away from his screen.

“Remember the plane ticket my parents sent me?”

Connor froze as felt his heart stop for a moment. What was Kevin’s decision going to be? Connor didn’t want to know. No, wait, he did want to know. No, wait-

“The plane leaves Kampala airport tomorrow morning,” Kevin declared.

“Oh. So are you gonna-,” Connor trailed off.

Kevin looked up at the ceiling, “I thought about it. I hate my parents, but they’re still my family, you know? They’re all I have.”

Connor gulped. The thought of spending another year in Uganda without Kevin was depressing, and the thought of never seeing Kevin again was heart-wrenching. But he didn't want Kevin to be homeless either.

Kevin turned his eyes onto Connor and smiled, “But no, I’m staying.”

Connor was at a loss for words, “Oh.”

Kevin’s smile faded, “Do you- do you want me to leave?”

“No! No! Of course I’m glad that you’re staying,” Connor wrung his hands, “but family is important too. I just don’t want you to make a rash decision that you’ll regret later.”

Kevin opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor, “I’m doctor Mulenga. So! How are we doing today?”

Connor was glad to see that it was a different doctor from when they were previously here.

“Terribly,” Kevin replied, tearing his eyes away from Connor.

“Let’s see what is wrong,” the doctor studied Kevin’s chart as he gestured for Kevin to lose his shirt.

Connor went back to looking at his laptop, trying to give Kevin some privacy in the crowded ward. From the corner of his eye, he could see the doctor examining Kevin’s side, and listening to Kevin’s lungs with his stethoscope.

“Take a deep breath for me,” the doctor instructed.

Kevin obeyed, and his exhalation dissolved into another coughing fit, “Aw, fu- shucks.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

By the time they left the hospital, it was already five in the evening. Doctor Mulenga re-stitched Kevin’s side, and diagnosed him with a case of the flu, and sent them on their merry way.

They walked side-by-side on the dirt path, Connor slowing down his pace to a snail but Kevin still struggled to keep up. They haven’t had the chance to continue their conversation since the doctor interrupted it. Talking while walking was beyond Kevin’s capabilities at the moment.

“Break?” Connor spotted a small, empty playground with a couple of benches under the trees.

Kevin nodded, and they made their way over the the benches.

“I still can’t believe they didn’t give you anything for your cold,” Connor commented, as they sat down.

“Flu,” Kevin sighed.

Connor frowned, “There’s a difference? I mean, I know we’re not in America, but he could have given you some antibiotics.”

“Ugh, don’t get me started about the misuse of antibiotics in the treatment of viral infections,” Kevin rolled his eyes, “besides, I’m already on antibiotics from the surgery.”

“Oh are you? Then why did you still fall sick?” Connor mused.

Kevin snapped, “Because antibiotics don’t kill viruses, Connor! I’m not going to give you a fucking biology lesson in the middle of this shitty playground.”

Connor was taken aback by the sudden outburst. He figured it was because the weather was hot, the air was dusty, and Kevin was probably feeling all kinds of awful from the flu and his newly-stitched side.

“How are you feeling?” Connor tried.

“Stop asking me that!” Kevin yelled, which triggered his coughing again.

Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s heaving back, “Okay, okay, calm down.”

The coughs finally stopped, and Kevin looked at Connor sheepishly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Connor assured. He stayed quiet as he was unsure if Kevin wanted to talk.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Kevin spoke, “I’m not going to regret it.”

“What?”

“I’m not going to regret staying here, with you guys.”

Connor went back to being the devil’s advocate, “Even if you may end up losing your family? You said it yourself, your family is everything you had.”

A small part of Connor’s brain was rejoicing. Kevin was staying here with him! And if Kevin didn’t have to live up to the expectations of his devout family anymore, does that mean- Connor swatted the thought away at once.

Kevin shook his head, “No. I have my family right here.”

“What we have here is a dysfunctional mess,” Connor scoffed.

“I’m sure that’s the textbook definition of ‘family’.”

“We’re not out of the woods yet, I still can’t find anyone who is willing to help us out,” Connor warned, “we may end up having to go back to America early anyway.”

“We’ll think of something,” Kevin patted Connor’s knee, “but not now. Now, I need to go lie down. Shall we head back?”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor tried to concentrate on the half-finished document on the screen of his computer, he really did. But every now and then, he found his eyes flittering over to the peaceful, sleeping form of Kevin Price. 

Even though he didn’t manage to get any sleep last night, Connor didn’t feel like going to bed yet. His mind drifted to his own parents, whom he missed dearly. They had been distraught at the news of his ex-communication, but at least Connor was certain that they would never disown him. Connor didn’t get it, how could The Prices choose the church over their son? He couldn’t even begin to imagine how Kevin must feel, not being able to count on the support of his family.

Connor closed his laptop and hopped out of bed. He put his shoes on, and tiptoed to the door. After checking that Kevin was okay, Connor slipped out of the room towards the payphone in the lobby. It was 11 p.m. in Uganda, which meant that it was 2 p.m. back home. Connor took a deep calming breath before he dialled the number. The previous time he had called home, his father was still mad at him.

The call was picked up almost immediately, “Hello?”

Connor felt tears welling up in his eyes just by hearing his mother’s voice, “Mom, it’s me.”

“Con, honey! Oh it is so good to hear your voice! You haven’t called in two weeks, we were getting worried! Is everything alright in Uganda?”

“I’m fine. I’m good. How’s everything back home?” Connor wiped a tear away with the back of his hand.

“Your dad is driving me crazy about his new found love for baking. God knows, he’s not very good at it. I’ve recently started taking classes at the community college, the house is too quiet without you around,” his mother rambled.

“That’s good to hear, how are things at church?” Connor wanted to know if anyone was giving his parents trouble for his failed mission.

“Con," his mother paused, "your father and I, we’ve left the church.”

“Wait, what? Why?!” Connor asked, “was it- was it because of me?”

“Oh no, Connor. It was just the right thing to do.”

Connor could tell that his mother was lying, “What happened? Did someone ask you to?”

Were his parents being ex-communicated from the church because of Connor?

His mother took a deep breath before answering, “We realised that the church means nothing to us if we have to give up our only son.”

“Oh god,” Connor gasped, “I don’t, I- I’m so sorry, mom.”

“No, hon. You have nothing to be sorry for. I know that we were mad and harsh with you at first, but now that we’ve been enlightened, we’re so proud of what you’re doing in Uganda.”

“Is dad okay with it, too?”

“Well, he is now. I’ve managed to talk some sense into your father,” his mother sounded proud, “The Prices came over to talk last week, trying to convince us to go back to the church. Your father told them off. They told us how they- Oh hon! How is Kevin doing?”

Connor winced, “Kevin’s not doing too good. He’s sick, and he’s still really upset about what happened with his parents.”

His mother sighed, “That poor boy. You look out for your friend, Con. And if you need anything just let us know. Do you need more money? You still have the credit card that I gave you, right?

“Oh ummm, no, we’re good,” Connor lied. He didn’t want his mother to worry, and he was still feeling very guilty for causing his parents to be kicked out from the church.

“Okay then, it must be late in Uganda, you should go to bed soon. And call home more often will you?”

“Yeah, okay mom,” Connor smiled, “Bye. Love you.”

“I love you too, Con.”

For the first time in weeks, Connor knew that he was going to get a good night's sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

“The bus is late,” Connor muttered to himself while shading his eyes from the burning sun with his hand.

“Come back into the shade, Connor. You’re going to get sunburned,” Kevin waved at him from under a tree.

“I don’t want to miss the bus.”

“We’re not going to miss the bus. We’re in a bus station, you idiot,” Kevin yelled, “C’mon back.”

Truth to be told, Connor was way too excited to stay waiting in the shade. He had a surprise planned for Kevin, which he had entrusted Poptarts to carry out. Connor thought Project Show-Kevin-That-People-Cared was more important than ever, now that Kevin had officially missed the plane which his parents had wanted him to get on.

“Oh! Oh! I think that’s our bus,” Connor shouted in excitement.

“I can see that,” Kevin rolled his eyes.

Kevin had woken up in the same sullen mood he has been for the past few days. When Connor did a sweep of the room before they checked out, he found Kevin’s copy of the Book of Mormon in the trash. He was afraid to ask, and he wasn’t sure if Kevin wanted to talk about it, so Connor pretended that they hadn't left anything behind.

“Here, I’ll take the bags, you go and find us a seat on the bus,” Connor offered.

Connor was going to miss having Kevin all by himself. Once they get back to the village, they would be constantly surrounded by all the other Elders again, although it would mostly be Arnold who surrounds Kevin. Wherever Kevin goes, Arnold goes too. Connor hoped that Kevin and him could continue to talk like they did for the past few days.

Talking to someone about his feelings never failed to make Connor feel better when he was down. Kevin probably talks to Arnold, but Connor doubted that Arnold even knew about his plane ticket, seeing that Arnold was still all cheery and nonchalantly fooling around with the other Elders when Connor returned.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

They got settled into their seats right before the bus started moving. Kevin watched the trees go by outside the window, while Connor continued working on his laptop.

“Where did you go last night?” Kevin turned to ask Connor.

Connor stopped his typing, “I didn’t realise you were awake.”

“I woke up after you closed the door and left.”

“Did I wake you? Sorry about that,” Connor pursed his lips, “I went out to use the payphone in the lobby. To call the hut- mom. To call home.”

Connor mentally slapped himself. He didn’t know why he felt the need to lie to Kevin about calling his parents, and by the time he realised that he probably should just tell the truth, he was already halfway through his sentence.

“What did I say about you being the worst at lying?” Kevin scoffed.

“Sorry, I just- I didn’t want- your parents- you know what? I’m gonna shut up now,” Connor cussed inwardly at his train wreck of a reply.

“Is everything okay back home?” Kevin prompted.

Connor nodded, “Yeah, I guess you could say it’s okay. My parents are no longer Mormons.”

“What?!” Kevin frowned, “What happened?”

Connor figured that he would spare Kevin the detail of how Mr and Mrs Price visited his parents and basically advised them to disown Connor too, “They just didn’t believe in the Church’s teachings anymore, I guess.”

“Try again, McKinley. Was it because of what we did?”

“In a way?” Connor chose his words carefully, “my parents were just not very comfortable with how the Church dealt with our situation.”

“What do you mean?” Kevin pried, “What did the Church do?”

“Well…,” Connor stalled, and Kevin glared at him to continue. “I don’t know?” He finished lamely.

“Connor McKinley,” Kevin growled.

“Look, I don’t want to lie to you, I can’t lie anyway, but I can’t tell you, please stop asking,” Connor begged.

“Why not?”

Connor shrugged mutely, and made a zipping motion on his lips.

“Please tell me, Connor. I need to know. I need to know that the Church forced my parents to do this somehow, and not because they actually cared more about their neighbours’ fucking opinions than their own son,” Kevin spat.

“The Church didn’t force them to leave,” Connor murmured, avoiding Kevin’s gaze.

“Okay? Then why did they leave?”

Connor was getting increasingly flustered. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, “Because…of me. They left because of me.”

“I don’t get it. You just said that they weren’t being ex-communicated because of what we did.”

“Not officially, no. But talking to certain members of the Church made them realised some stuff,” Connor knew that he sounded incredibly evasive.

“You mean they were not officially kicked out like we did, but they were pressured to leavesomehow? But by whom? I know that the Bishop doesn't do stuff like that.”

Connor’s face must have given it away, because Kevin shook his head and laughed bitterly, “Wow. Fucking wow.”

Connor felt like crying in frustration. Everything is turning into such a clusterfudge.

“My parents are the fucking best, aren’t they? Well, if their child doesn’t live up to their expectations than why do they need him around at all, right?” Kevin mocked, “See, I told you, Connor McKinley. Nobody wants me in their lives, not even my own fucking family.”

“No!” Connor yelled and lowered his volume self-consciously, “That’s not true. I do want you in my life. I’m glad you’re in my life, Kevin Price.”

Kevin stared at him for a few seconds, before closing his eyes and laying his head back onto the seat, “Yeah, whatever.”

“I mean it,” Connor pleaded, “I’m not lying! You’d know if I’m lying, since according to you, I’m the worst liar you have ever known. It’s not pity either. I really really lo-,” Connor covered his mouth in shock. He couldn’t believe that he had almost confessed his feelings to Kevin.His heart was beating a mile a minute, and his hands were all clammy, “Well, I mean-”

“Please stop talking, Connor,” Kevin grabbed Connor’s arm, “my head fucking hurts.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Connor breathed.

Rude as that was, Connor was glad that Kevin had stopped him from digging an even deeper hole.

Connor was pretty sure that Kevin would hate the surprise coming-home party which he had planned. With Kevin's current mood, he wouldn’t want to have to deal with everyone in the village at the moment. Whenever Kevin got upset, he would always run away and lock himself in his room and wallow in misery by himself. Connor thought that they were all way past the age for that kind of behaviour, but that was just what Kevin does.

Connor didn’t have a phone on him, so he had no way to tell Poptarts to call it off.

Poptarts! Oh dear lord, Connor forgot about Poptarts! If The Prices had visited Connor’s parents, they must have also spoken to Mr and Mrs Thomas! This was bad. This was very bad.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor spent the whole three hour long journey fretting, about Kevin, about his mission companion. He had tried to resume working on his laptop, but there was no way he would be able to concentrate on anything else at the moment. Beside him, Kevin kept his eyes closed for the whole journey. Connor knew he wasn’t actually asleep.

Connor nudged Kevin with his leg, “We’re almost there.”

Kevin nodded without opening his eyes.

Connor sighed at his non-committal response, and started packing his things.

“Connor?”

Connor pulled the drawstrings on his bag shut, “Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

Connor looked at Kevin with a quizzical expression.

“I’m a mess, and I’m always taking it out on you. I’m sorry,” Kevin finished sincerely.

Connor nodded, “It’s okay.” He already knew he would forgive Kevin for anything when he gets earnestly apologetic like that. Connor would forgive Kevin for things he hasn’t even done yet.

“No, it’s not. I was being a dick.”

“That you were,” Connor smiled, “How’s your head?”

“Better,” Kevin returned his smile, “and I’m glad that your parents stood up for you. Even if it does make me a little jealous.”

Connor’s smile faltered a little, he didn’t know what to say to that.

Kevin clasped his hands together, “I can’t wait to go home.”

Connor smiled wider when he heard Kevin refer to the village as their home, “We’ve only been gone for three days.”

“It’s three days too long. I miss my bed,” Kevin grinned stupidly. The kind which made Connor melt inside.

“Your bed is probably Nabulungi’s now,” Connor teased.

Kevin’s improved mood was highly contagious. Connor was beginning to think that everything was going to turn out okay after all.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

“Where’s everybody?” Kevin noted as they stepped off the bus. The village square, which would usually be bustling with activity at this time of day, was uncharacteristically quiet.

Connor took it as a sign that Poptarts did manage to gather everyone for the surprise party. He was still feeling a little apprehensive about the whole thing, but with a hand on the small of Kevin’s back, they made their way to the mission hut.

“Do you need help with that?” Kevin pointed to the two bags that Connor had slung on his shoulder, “I can carry my own bag you know.”

“You aren’t supposed to be carrying anything heavy, I heard what the doctor said,” Connor frowned.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Right, because a few pieces of clothing is so heavy.”

The both of them walked up to the front door of the mission hut, and Connor let Kevin go in first.

Kevin pushed the door open, and they were met with a chorus of “Surprise!”

Kevin blinked blankly at the extremely crowded living room of the mission hut.

“What’s all this?” Kevin read the banner, which was slung lopsidedly on the wall, “Get Well Soon Elder Pric?”

“Uh, we ran out of space for the ‘e’,” Arnold explained.

Connor heard Elder Church mutter something along the lines of, “Elder Prick is back.” Which earned him a glare from Connor, and an elbow to his ribs from Poptarts.

Arnold stepped forward and engulfed Kevin in a gentler version of his usual bone-crushing bear hugs, “Welcome back, best friend!”

“Did you plan this?” Kevin looked at his mission companion in awe.

Arnold pointed to Connor, “Nah buddy, this is all Elder McKinley’s idea.”

Kevin stared at Connor with his mouth opened, “How did you even- I don’t- This is just-,” Kevin’s eyes roamed over everyone in the room.

Mafala suddenly said, “This is the first time I have seen Elder Price with nothing to say.”

The room erupted into laughter, and Kevin still had the awestruck expression on his face.

“Come! Let us eat,” Kimbay took Kevin’s hand and led him to the table in the centre of the room, which was piled high with food.

Kevin’s head swivelled around to look for Connor while he was being pulled along by Kimbay.

Connor was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of love for Kevin Price when he held Kevin's gaze. 

“You’re staring, Connor,” Poptarts put an arm around Connor’s shoulders.

“What? Shut up.”


	13. Chapter 13

The crowd dispersed into smaller groups as everyone dug in on the amazing spread prepared by Kimbay. There were people scattered throughout the mission hut, and on the porch outside. Gotswanna was entertaining a small group of villagers outside the hut, singing some song about maggots with his Adungu. Connor decided that he didn't want to know.

He spotted Poptarts by the food, scooping himself some meat stew. Connor strode over to his mission companion and tapped on his shoulder, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

Poptarts shrugged, “Sure.” And they made their way back to their room.

“What’s up?” Poptarts sat down on the bed while stirring his stew.

“Have you spoken to your parents recently?” Connor asked.

“The last time I called home was a week ago. Why do you ask?”

Connor filled him in on what happened with his parents, and also Kevin’s situation. Poptarts listened with a sympathetic frown, “That’s awful. Is he alright?”

“What do you think? Anyway, you should probably call your parents.”

“Well, my parents can get pretty uptight at times but they certainly aren’t half as bad as Mr and Mrs Price. But yeah, I guess I should call them tonight,” Poptarts took a slurp of his stew, “Oh my this is amazing. You gotta go try some.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

When Connor returned to the party, the food, including the amazing stew, was already gone. He blew out a breath of disappointment, man, he hadn’t even touched anything yet.

Suddenly, a hand holding a full plate of food appeared in front of his face. The hand was attached to none other than Kevin Price.

“You can have mine,” Kevin offered.

“Nah, you should eat. I’ll just go make myself a sandwich or something.”

“I’ve already had enough. I’m not that hungry anyway,” Kevin shoved the plate into Connor’s hands.

“But you barely ate breakfast,” Connor pointed out.

“The flu is still kicking my ass, but I’ll live,” Kevin smiled, “Hey, umm thanks, for this.”

“Well, I barely did anything. Poptarts was the one who gathered everyone, and Kimbay was the one who cooked all these wonderful food,” Connor looked around the room, “Where’s Elder Cunningham and Nabulungi?”

“The lovebirds went for a walk. Hey, I’m gonna go back to my room, I’m kinda tired,” Kevin rubbed at his eyes, “Think it’s okay for me to leave my own party early?”

“Hmm, I’ll let you have a free pass this time,” Connor talked around the food he was chewing, “Why don’t you head on back, I’ll bring you some water so you can take your medicine,”

Kevin nodded his thanks before walking away.

Connor wished that he could see Kevin smile like that every day. Even he knew that it would be a tall order, but a boy could dream.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor rapped twice on the wooden door.

There was no answer.

He knocked again and put his ear to the door, listening intently.

Still nothing.

“Kevin?” He opened the door and poked his head inside the room.

Kevin was already sleeping soundly in bed, the covers pulled up to his chin even though it was a blazing hot afternoon. Connor reckoned that Kevin’s ‘kinda tired’ was a major understatement, if he managed to fall asleep in the two minutes Connor took to get the water.

He was glad that he also grabbed the newly-purchased thermometer from their first aid box.

“Kevin, wake up.”

Connor unwrapped Kevin from his covers, which Kevin clung to tightly, “Nooo.”

“It’s really hot, Kevin. This will only make your fever worse,” Connor managed to wrangle the covers away from Kevin and dump it on Arnold’s bed.

He unwrapped the packaging for the thermometer and turned it on, “Here, put it in your mouth.”

“Ew, no," Kevin shrunk away from the thermometer, "Did you even wash it?” 

“Why do I need to? It’s new,” Connor said matter-of-factly, “I think you have more germs in you than the thermometer right now.”

“Please just go wash that,” Kevin coughed.

“Fine,” Connor conceded.It was apparent that Kevin was not going to put the thermometer in his mouth until it was thoroughly cleaned.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor picked out the correct number of pills from the small bag, as they waited for the thermometer to finish its job.

Kevin mumbled something garbled around the thermometer in his mouth.

“Stop talking, or it’s going to take even longer.”

When it finally beeped, Kevin pulled the thermometer out of his mouth. “Oh,” Kevin frowned as he read it, “It’s in Celsius.”

“What? Let me see,” Connor snatched it from Kevin, “Thirty-eight point five. Is that above a hundred? Normal temperature is like a thirty-seven, right?”

Kevin squeezed his eyes shut, “I can’t count right now, Connor. Just give me those and let me sleep.”

Connor was still staring intently at the numbers on the thermometer when the door swung open.

“Kev!” Arnold yelled, “I was looking for you, buddy- Oh hey! Elder McKinley!”

“Elder Cunningham, hey,” Connor greeted.

“What’s wrong with Kevin?” Arnold jumped onto his own bed.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired is all.”

“Ooo! Is that your temperature, Kev? Let me see!” Arnold made grabby hands at the thermometer, which Connor handed over.

“That’s weird, Kevin! You’re really cold!”

“It’s in Celsius, Arnold,” Kevin exhaled.

“Oh! That’s okay, we can convert it back to the correct temperature! I’m great at math!”

“It is already correct, Arnold,” Kevin said plainly.

“Really, Elder Cunningham?” Connor raised an eyebrow at Arnold’s confession, “can you convert it to Fahrenheit for us?”

“Sure! How do I do that?”

“Multiply it by one point eight, and then add thirty-two," Kevin recited with a groan.

Arnold took a few seconds to think before enthusiastically yelling, “One-oh-one point three!” He then realised what the numbers meant ,”Oh Kev, you’re sick! Again!”

Connor was impressed. He never know Arnold was good at math. Maybe Arnold could help him with doing their finances.

“You’re really loud, Arnold,” Kevin grimaced and held his head, “One hundred and one is not that bad.”

"Point three!"

“Headache?” Connor’s brows furrowed, “Maybe we should go get Gotswanna.”

Arnold volunteered to go, “I saw him outside the hut just now.”

“C’mon you guys, I can assure you there’s nothing he can do. Now,” Kevin held his palm out to Connor.

“Are you sure you don’t need-,” Connor dropped the pills into his palm when Kevin glared, “Okay, okay.”

Arnold beamed, “Don’t worry Elder McKinley! I’ll stay here and watch Kevin sleep.”

Connor glanced at Kevin, who didn’t seem to care either way, “Elder Cunningham, I think we should leave Elder Price to rest. You can help Elder Davis and Elder Neely clean up the living room.” 

Arnold whined, “But I was already on cleaning duty last week!”

“Yes, both of you were on cleaning duty, but I only recall seeing Elder Price do all the cleaning by himself,” Connor stuck his hands on his hips. Elder Cunningham was great at shirking his responsibilities. He once gave Connor an absurd excuse on how Nabulungi needed him to bring her puppy cat to the vet, in order to get out of his weeding duties. They didn’t even have a vet in the village, not to mention the obviously made-up animal which Nabulungi never owned.

“That’s because Kevin likes cleaning!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Oh you so do!”

Connor put a stop to it, “Alright, Elder Cunningham, you will help with the cleaning up. To make up for all the cleaning you haven’t done last week, and the month before, and the month before that.”

“Fine,” Arnold blew out an exasperated breath. He balled up the pile that was Kevin’s blanket and wanted to lay it back onto Kevin.

“Nope, Elder Cunningham," Connor stopped him with his hand, "No blankets for Elder Price, he doesn’t need to get any warmer.”

“But I’m cold.”

“You’re really not, you’re burning up.”

“It feels cold to me,” Kevin pouted, matching the expression on Arnold’s face.

“Just try to sleep without them for now. Elder Cunningham, let’s go clean up!” Connor’s tone was final.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor sure missed the peace and quiet he was enjoying for the past three days. The three Elders assigned to cleaning duty were washing dishes in the kitchen sink, which was gradually becoming more of a war zone. Connor was sitting in the living room, listening to the loud bickering get louder by the second.

“You’re making the floor wet, Elder Cunningham!”

“See, if you weren’t hogging the cloth, then I wouldn’t have made the floor wet.”

“Get your own cloth!”

“You get your own cloth!”

“These dishes aren’t even dry yet, Elder Cunningham! You can’t put them in the cupboard when they’re still wet.”

“Do you even know how to dry dishes?!”

“Aww! You stepped on my toe!”

“That’s because I slipped, because the floor is so wet!”

“Elder Mckinley!” Elder Davis screamed, “Elder Cunningham is messing everything up!”

“Yeah!” Elder Neely echoed, “Elder McKinley! Please ask him to go away!”

"Ouch, no! Stop pushing me."

Connor slammed his laptop shut in annoyance. How were a couple of nineteen-year-olds still behaving like Connor’s toddler cousins? He looked over at Poptarts, who rolled his eyes, “Your job, not mine,” and went back to his crossword puzzle book.

Connor tilted his head skywards, “Give me strength.”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor managed to stop the childish squabble in the kitchen in all of three minutes. It abruptly ended when Connor lost his patience completely, and chastised the trio for being such children.

The three Elders looked chagrined, and promised to clean up the kitchen together.

“I’m sorry, Elder McKinley,” Elder Neely apologised.

“I’m sorry too,” Elder Davis said, “I’ll teach Elder Cunningham how to dry the dishes properly.”

Elder Davis and Elder Neely stared daggers at Arnold when he didn’t chime in.

Arnold sighed dramatically, “Fine, I’m sorry too,” he shrugged, “Look, Elder McKinley, if I’m really that bad at cleaning up, maybe I should just-”

“Elder Cunningham!” Connor pinched the bridge of his nose, “You are not getting out of cleaning duty anymore! You will learn how to do the dishes now, or I will put you on cleaning duty for another week! And there will be no Elder Price to help you scrub the toilets clean! Do you understand?”

That seemed to work, as Arnold kept quiet and nodded. Satisfied that his job was done, Connor strode back to the living room and collapsed onto the couch.

“How did you even manage to keep them in line when I wasn’t around?” Connor turned to Poptarts.

“I don’t. I just leave, to get some quiet by the treehouse, and let them tire themselves out,” his companion grinned, “they are usually done by the time I get back.”

“That’s a really good plan, actually,” Connor chuckled, and checked his watch, “I’m gonna go check on Kevin. Hopefully, all the shouting hasn’t woken him up.”

“Suuuuuure,” Poptarts dragged the syllable out, “not because you want to stare at him sleep.”

“What? No! That’s just creepy. Poptarts!” Connor hissed.

"Oh look, what's twenty-eight across," Poptarts tapped his pencil on his chin, "Hmm, fourteen letters, and the clue is 'I'm head-over-heels in love with a certain ex-mormon boy.' Oh I think it spells Connor McKinley."

"You done?"

"Never."


	14. Chapter 14

“It was probably a mosquito.”

“Well, it was kinda buzzing, wasn’t it, Neel?”

“I don’t know, it was too big to be a mosquito.”

The Elders of District Nine were scarfing down breakfast at the dining table, while discussing the nature of a mystery bug which terrorized Elder Davis and Elder Neely last night.

“I've told you guys a million times, to keep your windows closed or spray bug repellent on the sills,” Elder Church said.

“It was too hot to sleep with the windows closed!”

“And we did use mosquito repellent.”

“Okay then, maybe it wasn’t a mosquito.”

“Buzzing you say? Could be a wasp or a bee,” Poptarts supplied.

“Or a hornet,” Elder Michaels guessed.

“Bees and wasps usually aren’t very active at night though,” Kevin disagreed.

“So it was a hornet,” Elder Church concluded, “At least it’s dead now, right? Did you dispose of the body? Because a dead hornet will most certainly attract the ants.”

Elder Davis and Elder Neely looked at each other sheepishly.

“Umm, we couldn’t catch it,” Elder Davis explained.

“So we opened our door and let it out,” Elder Davis scratched the back of his neck, “it may still be around here somewhere.”

“You what?!” All the other Elders exclaimed collectively.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

After finishing their breakfast and futilely searching the hut for the missing hornet, the Elders started their daily ritual of slathering their faces and bodies with sunscreen before working out in the sun. The new school building which they have been working on all month was almost finished. Now, they just had to put the roof on it and paint the walls.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Connor raised an eyebrow at Kevin, who was also in the process of putting on sunscreen.

“Ummm, preventing skin cancer?” Kevin looked confused.

“I mean, where do you think you’re going?”

“To the school?” Kevin took a while to realise what Connor was really asking, “I’m feeling much better today. Church said that he can’t deal with the kids anymore, so he asked if I could take it from here. I’m gonna have to try and undo all the trauma Church has inflicted on the kids, and make sure that they actually learn something.”

“Okay, if you’re doing Elder Church’s work, what the heck is he doing today?” Connor gestured at the chore board, which clearly stated Elder Church’s name beside ‘English Classes in School’.

Connor hated it when his plans get disrupted. Kevin was supposed to stay in the hut all day, with Connor, while they worked together on finding sponsors and donors.

“I don’t know?” Kevin shrugged, “Look, I’m late, gotta run. See you later.”

“No running!” Connor shouted after him.

“It’s a figure of speech, Nag!”

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor found Elder Church lounging on his own bed, flipping through a book on Ugandan history.

“Elder Church,” Connor greeted sternly.

He continued flipping through his book nonchalantly, “Elder McKinley.”

“Mind explaining why you’re chilling out in your room while everyone else is out working and contributing to the community?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Elder Church rebutted.

“I am working,” Connor threw his hands up in frustration, “I never stopped working! Even when I’m asleep, I’m still working! Actually no, I don’t even sleep much these days!”

“Whoa, whoa! Relax, McKinley, ” Elder Church placated, “I’m just messing around. I do know how hard you’re working for all of us. We all do. And we appreciate it, really. What’s gotten into you?”

Connor could feel himself blushing in embarrassment. What has gotten into him? It was the third time he had lost control of his temper this week, and this week wasn’t even through yet.

Connor hung his head, “Sorry, James. I guess I’m just stressed out from worrying about everyone and everything.”

“Clearly,” Elder Church said, “Just take it easy, alright? We don’t need another emergency trip to the hospital.”

Connor nodded, “I’ll try. But! This doesn’t mean that you get the day off.”

“Why not? Price had three days off.”

“Are you kidding me right now?!” Connor was back to being livid again, “Sure, I’ll get Gotswana to cut you open and remove a part of your intestines, and then you can have your day off.”

“Will you calm down, I was joking, man! Fine, I’m going,” Elder Church slid off his bed, “You’re no fun these days.”

Connor sighed as he watched the retreating back of Elder Church. He needed a break, for the sake of his sanity.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

Connor supposed that he could allow himself an hour-long break after working all afternoon. He took a stroll around to the small lake some fifteen minutes away from the mission hut. The lake was surrounded by the greenest trees Connor had ever seen before coming to Uganda. It was his second favourite spot to unwind, after the treehouse. But the sun was still too hot for climbing onto the treehouse, and Connor’s nightmare still plagued him.

Sunlight filtered through the thick foliage of the trees, bathing the undergrowth and the lake with ethereal glow but at the same time providing respite from the burning rays.

Connor found his usual spot by the lake in no time. Sitting down carefully on the edge of an outcrop, Connor took off his shoes. He dipped his feet into the cool waters and watched the ripples dance around his ankles.

Everything seemed right with the world at the moment. Connor took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He tried to remember the last time he visited the lake- it was before they were ex-communicated. Since then, it had been a whirlwind of taking care of everyone, and making sure that everything was running as smoothly as possible.

He wasn’t sure if any of the other Elders had stumbled upon the lake, but he didn’t feel like sharing thisparticular gem with them yet.

Poptarts would love it here, it was serene and quiet enough. Maybe he could bring his companion along in the future. Kevin would enjoy the lake too. He had mentioned how much he loved swimming in a lake by his house during summer. Connor’s good mood deflated a little when he realised that Kevin probably won’t be swimming in that lake ever again.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice jolted Connor from his musing.

He twisted around from where he was sitting, “Hey?”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Sure,” Connor scooted to make space, “ How did you find me?”

Kevin took a seat beside Connor, “Saw you while I was walking back to the hut, so I followed you here.”

“How were the kids?” Connor asked, “Wait, you aren’t supposed to be finished with all the classes until five o’clock. It’s only three-thirty.”

“Yeah, about that,” Kevin looked down at his feet, “I got sent home early.”

“Why would Kizza do that?”

“Maybe I wasn’t as ready to be standing and teaching for a whole day as I thought I was,” Kevin smiled sheepishly.

Connor knitted his brows, “Why aren’t you back resting at the hut now? Let’s go,” Connor started to rise.

“No no, wait! I want to stay for a bit more,” Kevin pulled at Connor’s arm, “It’s nice out here.”

Connor hesitated for a second before sitting back down. At least if Connor was here with Kevin, he wouldn’t be doing anything stupid like overexerting himself again.

“It is nice,” Connor echoed, “I like to come here to think sometimes.”

Kevin was looking out onto the lake wistfully, “It’s so different from The Great Salt Lake. There’s so much life.”

They watched as a flock of birds skimmed the waters and then took off into the sky. It was never truly quiet in the forests. Connor thought that the calls of the birds, chirps of the insects, and the occasional howl of the monkeys made the place even more serene.

Connor found himself grinning at how perfect this moment was, “I bet you’d like to go for a swim right now, don’t you?”

Kevin laughed, “Yeah. Yeah, the waters are calling to me.”

“Maybe we could come back for a swim together when you’re all healed up, with the other Elders,” Connor suggested.

Kevin gave Connor a blinding smile, “Promise?”

For a second, Connor was overcome with the urge to hug Kevin and never let him go.

“As if you’ll let me forget that,” Connor picked at the grass beside him.

If there was ever an opportunity to tell Kevin how Connor felt, it would be now. Connor’s heart was begging him to say the words, but his brain was vehemently telling him not to. He could risk ruining this wonderful friendship they had.

“Kevin,” Connor started, and when he realised that Kevin was looking at him, he choked.

Kevin continued staring, “What?”

His lips looked just like in Connor’s dream.

“Nothing,” Connor waved, “let’s head back, shall we?”

Connor sprung up from the ground without waiting for Kevin’s response.

How could he even think about doing that? That was incredibly stupid of him! He was so close to messing everything up. So close!

“Connor McKinley!”

Connor halted his quick strides when he realised that he had left Kevin by the lake. He pivoted around at once, “Sorry! Sorry!”

“You dick!” Kevin called out in jest.

“I’m sorry,” Connor helped Kevin up, “my bad.”

“Dick,” Kevin repeated with a frown, “you forgot me.”

Connor only wished he could.


	15. Chapter 15

“C’mon! Not again!” Elder Michaels complained when he had to draw 16 cards from the deck.

“Ahaha! Loser.”

“Elder Church,” Connor chided as he waited for Poptarts to move his chess piece.

Elder Church rolled his eyes, “According to the rules of Uno, he IS losing. Look at how many cards he has in his hands!”

Connor tore his eyes away from the chessboard to glare at the cheeky Elder across the room. Elder Michaels didn’t seem to be particularly offended so Connor let it slide. He had lost count of the number of times Elder Church’s smarting remarks had led to full-blown quarrels between the Elders. Although, Kevin’s incessant need to defend himself from Elder Church’s remarks was also to blame for the occurrence of most of those fights. The other Elders have just learnt to brush his insults off with a shrug.

Poptarts finally made his move, and Connor was about to retaliate when someone slapped his shoulder, “Scooch over.”

Kevin, with his hair still dripping wet from his evening shower, towered over Connor, who was on the couch with Poptarts, their ongoing game of chess sat between them.

“There’s no more space, Elder Price,” Poptarts said, staring intently at the game, which he was currently losing.

“I don’t want to sit on the floor,” Kevin whined.

Poptarts sighed, “Then grab a chair from the dining table.”

From the corner of his eye, Connor could see Elder Church taking notice of their exchange. In order to prevent another smartass remark from leaving his mouth and igniting Kevin’s short fuse, Connor carefully lifted the board, scooted over to the center of the couch,and balanced the board on his knees.

Kevin plopped down on the vacated spot on the couch, “Where’s Arnold?”

“He just left for Nabulungi’s,” Connor answered absentmindedly as he captured Poptarts’ queen, “Whoops, I'm sorry bud.” Actually, he wasn't.

“Can’t you let me win for once?” Poptarts muttered.

“No can do. You can still win, look, you still have two pawns left to defend your king,” Connor laughed.

Connor tried his best to ignore the warm body of Kevin pressed up against his side. It felt strangely intimate tonight, even though they had shared tighter spaces in the past.

“Uno, losers!” Elder Church triumphantly yelled from across the room.

“I got a feeling he has something blue guys,” Elder Davis announced.

“Blue, huh? Take this, Elder Church!” Elder Neely threw out a yellow ‘draw two’ card, and gave Elder Davis a high-five.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Elder Church frowned.

“No it’s not, I just guessed correctly,” Elder Davis grinned.

“You clearly knew what I’m holding!”

“Can’t prove that though, can you?”

“Connor, we both know I’m not gonna win this round, let’s start over,” Poptarts gave up and started to reset the board.

Kevin sighed suddenly, “I’m going to go find Arnold.”

That caught Connor’s attention at once, “What?”

“I’m going to Nabulungi’s,” Kevin announced.

“It’s already dark out.”

Kevin grabbed Connor's arm to steal a look at his watch, “It’s only eight p.m., it’s not past curfew yet.”

As if Kevin actually adhered to curfew. Breaking curfew was the very first rule he disregarded when he arrived in Uganda. Connor was baffled as to why Kevin would want to venture out in the dark and barge in on the pair. Nobody likes to be a third wheel.

“Why?” Connor asked simply.

Kevin shrugged glumly, and pushed himself off the couch. He slipped into his flip flops by the door and left.

“Wait, Ke- Elder Price,” Connor called after him.

When Kevin didn’t stop, Connor gave Poptarts an apologetic glance.

“Go on then,” Poptarts rolled his eyes.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

“You don’t have to come with,” Kevin said, when Connor caught up with him.

“What’s wrong?”

Kevin shook his head, “Why do you always think that there’s something wrong?”

“Not always. But when I do, I’m right every time,” Connor teased.

Kevin didn’t answer but continued walking, the beam of his flashlight bouncing around on the dirt path in front of them.

“So,” Connor tried again, “Why are we going to Nabulungi’s?”

“What? I can’t hang out with my friends now?”

Connor had an inkling of what was going on. He had noticed how Arnold and Nabulungi have been spending less time at the mission hut, and with Kevin. On nights like this, when the Elders didn’t have any group activities planned, Kevin would usually be in his room all by himself. Connor assumed that it was because he preferred to be left alone, but maybe Connor was wrong.

“You know they are probably smooching right now, do you really want to watch that?” Connor wrinkled his nose.

“I’m already used to it.”

“Really? Do they actually do that even when the three of you hang out?” Connor guffawed, “Oh no, they really do, don’t they? And what, you just stay and wait for them to finish or-”

Connor’s laughter died when he realised that Kevin was being serious.

Why would Kevin still want to hang out with the two of them, instead of the other Elders? Surely, it must be more fun to be playing cards with the rest, than watching Arnold and Nabulungi be all over each other?

“I’m sure they don’t want to be interrupted,” Connor suggested, “Look, let’s just go back and play cards with the others, alright?”

“If you want to go back, nobody’s stopping you.”

“Well actually, I forgot to bring a flashlight so I’m kinda stuck with you,” Connor reached out to halt Kevin’s trek, “I know you don’t really want to spend your night watching them make out, God knows I don’t. Let’s just hang out here.” Kevin probably just wanted some company, and Connor was more than willing to provide that.

“By the roadside?” Kevin asked sceptically.

“Yeah! Why not? Let’s wait for Arnold here, together,” Connor sat down onto a low mud wall bordering someone’s backyard.

Kevin followed his lead, “Poptarts is waiting for you to get back and play chess.”

“Nah, he’s sick of me winning all the time,” Connor assured. He knew Poptarts wouldn’t mind.

“Do you not like Uno?” Connor asked.

“What? No, I- I’m indifferent I guess, why do you ask?”

“I just never see you play with the other Elders, I know, it could get boring, it’s the only card game we have,” Connor prodded.

“I've told you why,” Kevin kicked at the dirt with his flip flops, “nobody wants that.”

“Alright, no Uno then. We’ll just sit and talk,” Connor looked up at the cloudy sky, “looks like it’s going to rain tomorrow.”

“Are we actually going to talk about the weather?”

“Right, that’s lame. What do you want to talk about then?”

Kevin shrugged, looking down at his dirty feet, “I’m sorry, I’m not very good company tonight.”

“At least you aren’t puking your guts out tonight.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Kevin winced and started kicking at the dirt again, “It’s just, going to the lake today made me a little homesick is all. I didn’t want to be by myself.”

Connor understood completely what Kevin was talking about, “That’s perfectly normal. Did I tell you how I cried when I called my mom the other day?”

“You did, huh?” Kevin smiled slightly, “Arnold said that I could stay with him when we return to America.”

“So that’s really it? You’re never going back home?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin answered truthfully, “But at least I have somewhere to go now.”

“That’s good, I mean- it’s awful, really, but it’s good that you found a place to stay,” Connor nodded and blurted, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Connor debated internally about chickening out of his real question for Kevin. But he should know if he even stood a chance, right? Poptarts’ and Nabulungi’s voices filled his head, telling him to stop overthinking and just do it. At least with a definite answer, his heart could stop going ‘what if?’ or ‘maybe’, and he could finally move on.

“Were you ever in a relationship?”

Kevin stared at him, “Where did that come from?”

“You’ve just never talked about stuff like this- You know what? Never mind,” Connor’s pulse raced. He was wrong, he couldn't do this.

Kevin stared for a few seconds more before answering, “No.”

“No? As in, you never had a-”

“Yes.”

“Yes to my previous question or…,” Connor trailed.

“No, alright! I never had a girlfriend, or whatever,” Kevin blushed.

It as a good start at least. That gave Connor the boost of confidence he needed to continue, “Why not?”

“I don’t know, it just never happened,” Kevin pondered, and then he realised, “Oh god, Church is right, isn’t he?”

“About what?”

“What he said,” Kevin breathed, “I’m an unlovable asshole and I’m totally going to die alone.”

Connor’s mind flashed back to the disastrous game of spin-the-bottle. He really needed to have a sit down with Elder Church and make him realise how important words are, and how they could hurt someone more than he knew.

“Kevin-,” Connor steeled himself for the spiralling that was to come.

“I’m gonna die alone, and nobody’s gonna come to the funeral, not even my own family. No wait, there won’t be a funeral. Because no one is going to care. I’ll just be another John Doe in the morgue, and they would just cremate me and bury me with all the other John Does.”

“Kevin, you’re not dying,” Connor sighed. Trust Kevin to turn a conversation about love into one about death.

“Everybody’s gonna die someday, Connor!” Kevin hissed, “I’m not immortal!”

“Will you stop being so morbid?” Connor scrubbed his face tiredly, “You’re not going to die anytime soon. Elder Church was just being an ass.”

Kevin remained unconvinced, “Promise me you won’t let me die alone, Connor.”

Connor frowned. He wished that Kevin would just stop talking about his death, but agreeing to Kevin’s sombre request just because Connor wanted him to stop seemed wrong somehow. But it wasn’t like he was ever going to say ‘no’ to that, there was no way Connor was even going to let Kevin die if he could help it.

“I promise, okay? You’re not going to die alone for as long as I live,” Connor declared, “Now can we please stop all this talk about dying?”

Kevin stared intensely into Connor’s eyes for the longest time.

“What?” Connor laughed nervously, “Should we- Oomph!”

Connor was suddenly attacked by Kevin throwing his body into Connor’s and tightly wrapping his arms around his waist. Connor got about a mouthful of Kevin’s hair, but he was not complaining at all.

“Thank you,” Kevin mumbled into Connor’s neck.

Connor was dumbstruck by the sudden display of affection from Kevin. This was not at all how he envisioned the conversation to turn out. Instead of trying to find his voice, Connor just held on to the warm body in his arms, and tried to imprint the feeling of this moment into his mind.

“Is this weird?” Kevin lifted his head slightly.

Connor inhaled deeply, and all he could smell was Kevin, “No.”

“It feels good,” Kevin hummed.

Was this how being in love feels like? Because if it was, Connor totally understood why people in love do completely irrational things sometimes. It felt like heaven, and he would do anything to never stop feeling like heaven.

“Uhh, guys?” Arnold’s squeak shattered their moment.

Connor surprised himself when he instinctively disentangled himself from Kevin at once. Connor didn’t miss Kevin’s grunt of pain when he accidentally elbowed Kevin in his side.

“Elder Cunningham! Hey! Uh, we’ve been waiting for you,” Connor couldn’t bring himself to look at Kevin right now. What was wrong with him? This was what he had dreamed of, so why would he react the way he did?

“Uh huh,” Arnold shone his flashlight into their faces, “what are you guys doing in the middle of nowhere?”

Connor shied away from the sudden brightness, “Gosh, get that away from my face.”

“Let’s just go back,” Kevin sighed.

By the time Connor turned to him, Kevin had already walked away.

“What did you do?” Arnold asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I-,” Connor looked helplessly at Arnold.

And this must be what hell felt like.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

“Help. Me.”

“Go to sleep Connor,” Poptarts droned, “It’s two freaking a.m.”

“I did something stupid, Poptarts,” Connor spoke into the darkness.

Poptarts only grunted in response.

“I feel so bad. Do you know what I did, Poptarts?”

“The thing you’ve been going on about for the past three hours?”

Connor was now feeling bad for keeping Poptarts awake, “Sorry, I’ll be quiet now.”

“It’s not as bad as you think, Connor. You panicked, it happens. Just apologise to him in the morning, and everything will be fine,” Poptarts advised sleepily, “Now, shush.”

“But- Right right, I’ll shut up now,” Connor whispered, “Thanks, Poptarts.”

Sleep never came to Connor that night.


	16. Chapter 16

Connor finished setting up the breakfast table before anyone else even woke up. He figured that he could make better use of his time rather than waste it by tossing and turning in bed. Satisfied that his job for the morning was done, Connor threw himself back down onto his bed. Maybe he could rest his eyes for a few minutes.

When he opened his eyes again, the room was very much brighter and warmer than before. How long did he fall asleep for? Connor’s eyes widened when he read his watch, “Eleven-thirty?!”

He leaped out of bed at once and swung the bedroom door open. As he had predicted, there was no one else left in the hut at this time of day.

Connor still had to talk to Kevin, he planned to do it at breakfast, armed with Kevin’s favourite caffeine-filled beverage. What should he do? Should he go and look for Kevin now? Or should he wait for Kevin to come back at the end of the day? What the heck, it was bad to let things fester, right?

Connor smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt from sleeping in it and set off on his mission. It was Thursday, which meant that Kevin was working at the clinic today.

Gotswana’s clinic was just across the village square, easily identified by all the people sitting on the benches right outside the hut, waiting to be seen. Connor greeted the villagers with a smile, and stepped inside the clinic. It wasn’t hard to find Kevin in the cluttered hut, he was currently unpacking some boxes of medicine in a corner. Connor frowned at the sight, should he be doing that?

“Hey,” Connor approached him.

Kevin stopped working and turned around, his expression unreadable, “Hey.”

“I need to talk to you.”

Kevin sighed, “I’m busy.”

“Right right,” Connor tapped his fingers on a stack of unopened boxes, “Are you sure you should be working with all these heavy boxes?”

“I'm fine, Connor. They’re not that heavy,” Kevin cut open another box with his pocketknife, “So? You said you wanted to talk?”

“Oh,” Connor perked up at the green light he was given, “Do you want to-,” Connor mimed going outside.

“I can talk and work at the same time,” Kevin said curtly, and then looked apologetic, “I’m not mad, Connor. It’s just- there’s a lot to do today. Gotswana needs all these meds inventoried and packed before he visits the neighbouring villages tomorrow.”

Connor nodded, “Hey, I can help!” he picked up Kevin’s knife, “What do I need to do?”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

They unpacked and counted boxes after boxes of medicine. Connor was so focused on the job that he had forgotten the main reason he was there in the first place.

“50 capsules per bottle, times 20 bottles,” Connor mumbled as he recorded it into a notebook, and sorted them into bags, “5 bottles go here, 5 bottles in there, 10 bottles go there. Done!”

“I think that’s the last of it,”Kevin announced tiredly.

Connor volunteered to clean up the place as Kevin sat down to rest.

“Sooo,” Connor started as he stacked the flattened cardboard boxes together, “I wanted to apologise for last night.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Connor glanced at Kevin, “I don’t know why I reacted the way I did, I just panicked. I’m sorry.”

Connor got worried when there wasn’t any response from Kevin, “Please say something?”

Kevin stood up, “I think we’re done here. Shall we go?”

Connor nodded stiffly at the abrupt change of topic. What did that mean?

Kevin poked his head into Gotswana’s examination room to bid him goodbye. It was really just a corner of the hut which was sectioned off with curtains, “We’re done with the packing. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Connor didn’t hear what Gotswana’s reply was, but Kevin followed with, “Yeah, okay. I’ll let them know.”

“C'mon,” Kevin led them out of the clinic.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

As they strolled back to the mission hut side-by-side, Connor was in panic mode. Was Kevin still mad at him? But he said that he wasn’t. Did that mean he has been forgiven? Should he apologise again? Maybe he didn’t do it correctly the first time. Connor guessed that he could have been more specific, or more sincere, in his apology-

“Do you like me?” Kevin asked, out of the blue.

Wait, what? Connor came to a complete stop. Was that a trick question? What was the correct answer? What response was Kevin looking for?

“I-,” Connor’s mouth lost its connection to his brain. Think, Connor, think.

Could he actually tell Kevin the truth? What if Kevin was looking for a ‘no’?

“Umm...What do you mean? Like as a person, or?” Connor decided to lead with ignorance. That was the safest choice, right?

Apparently it was not, because Kevin was starting to look irritated, “You know damn well what I mean. Do. You. Like. Me?”

This could be his chance. But what if he chose wrong?

“I- I guess a little? Kinda?” Connor stuttered. A watered down ‘yes’ seemed like the next safest option.

Kevin nodded, a glint of amusement in his eyes, “Well that’s too bad then, because I really like you.”

Connor gulped. Was this really happening?

“But you’re not…you know,” Connor waved his hand, “gay.”

Kevin frowned, “Does it matter?”

Connor shrugged.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, only for Kevin to realise that he was just confused, and that he was straight all along. It would crush him.

Kevin took Connor’s hand, “Why do I have to be something, to like you? I like you, for who you are. I like you because you're Connor McKinley. Isn’t that enough?”

Connor thought that it was plenty enough. Before he knew it, big fat tears were rolling down his cheeks. Oh dang, why was he crying?

“Oh come here,” Kevin pulled Connor into an embrace, just like the night before.

It was as if Connor was suddenly relieved of all the weight and stress he had been carrying on his shoulders ever since they had been excommunicated.

“I,” Connor sobbed, “I like you too.”

“Good,” Kevin chuckled.

Connor could feel Kevin’s laughter reverberate throughout his body. That only made Connor cry harder.

“Uhh guys?” Arnold’s voice made Connor jump.

Why did it have to be Arnold again?

Except this time, Connor didn’t pull away from Kevin. He held on tight, and buried his teary face into Kevin’s neck. This was embarrassing.

“Run along, Arnold. Nothing to see here.”

“Suuuuure Kev. I’ll see you guys back at the hut,” Arnold said,“Wait, is he crying?”

“Go away, Arnold!”

Connor waited until Arnold’s footsteps faded to nothing, “Where do we go from here?”

“Can’t you just enjoy the moment?” Kevin sighed with mock exasperation, “Stop your fretting.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The both of them decided to take a detour to the lake, instead of going back to the mission hut. Connor clutched Kevin’s hand tightly in his own as they walked. Kevin felt solid and warm, it felt real. If this turned out to be a dream, Connor was going to be so pissed at himself when he wakes up.

They were perched at Connor’s favourite spot, their shoes beside them, and feet dipped into the cool waters of the lake.

“Oh look, fish!” Kevin pointed into the lake.

Connor didn’t manage to catch a glimpse of the fish, he was too busy staring at his fingers, which were still intertwined with Kevin’s.

“How long?” Connor asked.

“What, the fish?” Kevin turned to Connor, “I don’t know, three feet?”

“No,” Connor chuckled, “Not the fish, silly. How long have you known that, you know- you like me?”

“Yesterday?”

“What?!” Connor exclaimed.

“I guess it was longer than that," Kevin bit his lip, "But talking to Arnold last night made me realise what I was feeling for you, maybe it was more than friendship.”

“He does give good advice sometimes, huh?” Connor smiled. Who would have thought that he’d have Arnold to thank for this?

Kevin continued, “Even though the past few days have been the absolute worst, I knew that I was going to be fine, that everything was going to be fine, because you were there.”

Connor felt like he was going to start crying again, “Oh Kevin.”

“What about you?” Kevin asked.

“Would it be pathetic of me to say that I’ve liked you ever since I first saw you?”

“Really?” Kevin frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Are you kidding? How could I? We were Mormons, remember?” Connor laughed, “You were still the perfect, devout Mormon boy. Do you still remember what you said when you found out that I was gay?”

“Yeah, that,” Kevin winced, “To be fair you were still in denial then. You were turning it off.”

“Touché,” Connor mused, “And now, here we are.”

Connor looked over at Kevin, who was scanning the lake for more fishes, the gentle breeze caressing his hair. It was a mesmerising sight. Connor leaned over slightly and gave a chaste peck onto Kevin’s cheek.

Kevin looked startled for a moment, before bursting out in loud laughter, “What are we, kindergarteners?”

Connor chuckled nervously and rubbed at his neck. He has never done this before in real life, all he had were his dreams of Steve and Kevin.

“Well, I-,” Connor’s heart skipped a beat when Kevin pushed his lips against his. They were soft, so soft.

Connor was suddenly very aware that he was kissing Kevin Price, and it was way better than he could ever have imagined. It was so surreal, it almost felt like he was having an out-of-body experience.

Kevin pulled away slightly, “We should go back, it’s your turn to be cooking dinner today.”

Connor didn’t want to move, he wanted to stay here in this moment forever. But he did have a group of hungry Elders to take care of back in the mission hut.

“Fine, let’s go,” Connor groaned.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Hand me that, will you?” Connor pointed to the fork. Kevin wiped his flour-covered hand on a cloth, and passed the utensil without looking up.

Connor watched as Kevin studied the mixture of flour and water in his bowl with intense concentration, “Are you trying to mix it with your mind?”

“What?” Kevin looked up, and there was a swathe of white flour on his forehead.

“Kevin, you’ve got-,” Connor smiled fondly.

Connor picked up the cloth and gently wiped at Kevin’s face with it.

“Connor! The cloth is filthy!” Kevin complained.

“You’ll live,” Connor rolled his eyes.

Arnold bounded into the kitchen and peeked into Connor’s bowl, “Yam mash? Again?!” Arnold exclaimed.

“We’re poor now, Arnold,” Kevin sighed, “Just imagine that it’s potato.”

Arnold plopped himself down at the dining table, “Soooo…are you guys like, kissing now?” 

“What?” Connor squeaked. He haven’t given much thought about what the other Elders might react to their…their relationship? Were they in a relationship now? Was Kevin his boyfriend?

“Yes Arnold, yes we are,” Kevin said as he mixed the flour and water with his hands.

“About dang time!” Arnold let out a loud whoop, “Connor and Kevin, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Stop it, Arnold,” Kevin flicked some flour into Arnold’s face.

Connor on the other hand, was amused by how enthusiastic Arnold was about them. He could only hope that the other Elders will be as accepting.

“Aww, Kev is shy,” Arnold sniggered, “Take this!” He grabbed a handful of flour from the bag and threw it in Kevin’s direction.

“Arnold!” Kevin growled, "What the fuck?"

“Hey, hey, stop it you two! Flour is too expensive to be wasted like that,” Connor stepped between the pair before it escalated into a full-blown food fight.

The shrill ring of the phone startled all three of them. Connor took a glance at Arnold and Kevin’s filthy hands, “I’ll go get that.”

He picked up the plastic receiver, “Hello? Elder McKinley speaking.”

“Can I speak with Kevin, please?”

Connor recognised that voice, “Mr Price, hi. Umm, yeah sure, I’ll go get him.”

What did Kevin’s father want? Should Connor actually get Kevin to come to the phone, or should he just hang up?

Connor sighed as he placed the receiver down onto the table, and went back to the kitchen, “Kevin?”

“Who was that?” Kevin asked.

“It’s your dad.”


	17. Chapter 17

Kevin froze, “What does he want?”

“I don’t know,” Connor said, “I could tell him that you’re not here?”

Kevin shook his head minutely as he cleaned up his hands.

Arnold looked at Kevin worriedly, and then at Connor, pleading for him to do something. Connor just shrugged, what could he do? It was all up to Kevin.

They followed Kevin into the living room, and watched as Kevin inhale deeply and picked up the phone.

“What do you want?”

A long pause.

“Oh don’t worry, dad, I got your letter,” Kevin sneered, “I just didn’t want to get on that plane is all.”

Another pause.

“Stop saying that!”

It was agonising to only be able to hear one side of the conversation. Connor had no idea what Mr Price was saying. Arnold clutched onto Connor’s sleeve when Kevin started yelling again.

“Arnold and Connor aren’t making me do anything! You’re starting to sound like a crazy person, you know that?”

Kevin scrubbed at his face in frustration, “Why is it so hard for you to understand that I just don’t want to be a Mormon anymore? So what, if I’m not Mormon, I’m no longer a part of the family? Faith isn’t a hereditary trait, dad!”

“Oh right, I forgot. What would people think?”

Kevin’s face crumpled, “You don’t mean that.”

Connor put a hand on Kevin’s shoulder when he let out a strangled sob, “Tell me you don’t actually mean that.”

What was Mr Price saying?

Kevin looked up at Connor with tear-filled eyes and whispered, “I’ve already made up my mind, dad.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Arnold took Kevin’s place in the kitchen, after Kevin asked to be left alone in his room following the phone call with his father. Kevin never did tell them what his father said, but from the looks of it, Connor knew it was something really hurtful.

“I hate it when Kev is sad,” Arnold sighed as he kneaded the dough gloomily, “He deserves better.”

Connor agreed wholeheartedly. He just wished that the universe would give Kevin a break.

They heard the front door open, and then shut.

“Was that Kev?” Arnold craned his neck for a look but whoever it was, they were already gone.

“He’s probably gone out for a walk,” Connor tried to focus on making dinner, so that he wouldn't go crazy with worry, “Are you done with the dough?”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was just about finished with frying the last of the dough when the front door opened and the chatter of the other Elders floated into the hut.

“Smells good, Elder McKinley,” Elder Davis was the first to enter the kitchen, “Whatcha guys cooking?”

“Fried dough and yam mash,” Arnold droned.

“Again?” Elder Davis’ face fell, but he gave a strained smile, “Oh no, what I meant was thanks for the dinner, Elder McKinley. I’m going to go shower.”

“I don’t even remember what actual food tastes like anymore,” Arnold lamented and left the kitchen, conveniently leaving all the washing up for Connor to do.

Everyone was getting tired of the simple fare, but their dwindling funds could only afford so much. Connor allowed them to have fresh meat once a week, and everyone understood why: Meat was expensive, and therefore a luxury. But that didn’t mean that they liked it, and it certainly didn’t stop them from complaining every now and again.

It felt as if he had let everyone down.

Connor threw the dirty utensils into the sink, and hung his head over it. He felt overwhelmed. What was he supposed to do?

The rumbling of distant thunder made Connor’s head snap up. Kevin was still outside.

“I’m starving,” Elder Church marched into the kitchen, “Hey, you okay?”

Connor murmured, “Thunderstorm’s coming.”

“Yeah, it was already drizzling when we were walking back,” Elder Church scooped himself a bowl of yam.

Connor was starting to get worried, “I’m going to go find Kevin.”

“Whoa, what?” Elder Church asked, “Where is he?”

Connor realised that he had no clue where Kevin went, and his fear skyrocketed, “I don’t know. I’ve got to find him before the storm starts.”

“What happened?” Elder Church frowned when Connor didn’t answer, “Hey, do you need help? I’ll come with you.”

Connor nodded tightly, it would be foolish to turn down help, even though Connor knew that Elder Church would be throwing snide comments left and right while they searched.

Elder Church put down his bowl, “Let me get my poncho.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

As they were about to leave the hut, the door swung open and in came a slightly drenched Kevin Price.

“Found him,” Elder Church laughed.

“Where the heck have you been?!” Connor shouted at the top of his lungs.

Both Kevin and Church flinched at Connor’s sudden outburst.

“Dude.”

“I just- I just went out for a walk.”

Connor deflated at the twin expressions of shock, and went forward to engulf Kevin in a hug, “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“Ooookay? And that’s my cue to leave,” Elder Church stepped away from the pair.

Connor made a mental note to thank Elder Church later. But now, he just needed to hold on to Kevin, even if he was making Connor’s shirt damp with rainwater.

“I was so worried,” Connor spoke into Kevin’s neck, “Are you okay?”

Kevin nodded, “I think so. I’m gonna go change, see you at dinner.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The loud pitter-patter of heavy rain hitting their roof made any conversation at the dinner table difficult. The Elders ate quietly, most of them exhausted after a whole day of manual labor. Elder Neely was falling asleep at the table, only jolting awake every few minutes to take a bite of his dinner. Sitting beside him, Elder Davis and Elder Michaels took turns to steal spoonfuls of yam from Elder Neely’s bowl as he dozed off.

Connor was contemplating whether he should tell the other Elders about him and Kevin. Kevin didn’t seem like he cared either way, but Connor did. All of the Elders had been brought up by strict, religious families after all, and they were taught that homosexual behaviours are unacceptable.

He didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable around them, but at the same time, Connor felt that he deserved the same rights to love, just like everyone else.

He started going through a list of possible outcomes in his mind. Poptarts and Arnold wouldn’t mind it at all. Probably Elder Michaels too, since he mentioned that his sister had a girlfriend. That leaves Elder Davis, Neely and Church. Connor was certain that Elder Church knew what was going on. He kept sneaking glances at both Connor and Kevin throughout dinner. But he couldn’t decipher what Elder Church actually thought of them.

“Here, finish my food,” Kevin nudged Connor in the arm and pushed his bowl over to Connor.

Connor raised a questioning eyebrow at the amount of leftover food in Kevin’s bowl.

“I’m not hungry,” Kevin shrugged.

“Maybe you caught a cold again,” Connor frowned.

“It was the flu, but no, I’m not sick. I’m just not hungry.”

“Hey, if Elder McKinley doesn’t want it, I’ll take it,” Arnold said while he chewed.

Connor gestured, “Have at it, Elder Cunningham.”

When he looked back at Elder Church across the table, the boy immediately deflected his gaze. Maybe Connor could start with Elder Church.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The Elders retired to their bedrooms after dinner, with the exception of Arnold, Kevin, and Connor, who were lounging around in the living room.

“What if Elder Church doesn’t approve of us?” Connor pondered aloud.

“I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks,” Kevin remarked offhandedly, lying across the couch with his head on Connor’s legs.

“But we live together, Kevin. I don’t want things to become weird.”

“He already hates me, what difference does it make?”

Arnold scratched his head, “I think Elder Church hates everybody.”

“No he doesn’t,” Connor defended, “He just has the bad habit of not thinking before he speaks.” Connor hadn’t forgotten how Elder Church offered to help him look for Kevin in the rain without a second thought.

“There you go,” Kevin pointed out, “If he had any objections, we would have heard it by now.”

“And Elder Neely and Elder Davis respect you too much to hate you,” Arnold added.

Connor was still unsettled, he needed to know for sure. Being forthcoming with one another was important, especially when they only had each other to count on in a land far away from home.


	18. Chapter 18

“Hypothetically speaking, and this is just me spitballing here,” Connor said with a wry smile, “But how would you feel if I switched rooms with Arnold for a night?”

Poptarts stopped shoving his flown-from-home cereal into his mouth and stared daggers at his companion.

“I will kill you. Slowly and painfully. And then I will feed your corpse to the lions.”

Connor made an Okay sign with his fingers, “Duly noted.”

“Morning, guys.”

“Elder Church!” Connor smiled nervously, “Just the person I wanted to see.”

“I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else,” Elder Church said scathingly.

“No I haven’t,” Connor ignored his biting tone, Elder Church was always a little more grumpy in the mornings, “I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” he raised his eyebrows in question, “What did I do yesterday?”

“You offered to help me search for Elder Price in the rain,” Connor reminded him, “We didn’t need to in the end but anyway, thanks.”

“Sure?” Elder Church replied with uncertainty, “You’re welcome.”

“And I wanted to ask you a question,” Connor looked to Poptarts for support. Poptarts gave him a look which said ‘Just do it’.

“What is it?” Elder Church joined them at the table with his cup of coffee.

“How do you feel about Kevin and I?”

“What? McKinley, man, it’s too early for this,” Elder Church rubbed at his eyes tiredly, “What do you mean how do I feel?”

Connor chewed on his bottom lip. How should he phrase it?

“I mean, if Kevin and I are together, will you be okay with it?”

“Why are you asking me?”

Connor answered truthfully, “Because I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable. It’s always important for us to talk about things like this, be open with our feelings about one another.”

Elder Church thought about it for a bit, “If I said ‘No, I hate it’, are you going to break up with Price?”

“What?” Connor gulped. Maybe asking for the truth was a bad idea, “I don’t-”

Elder Church chuckled, “Relax, dude. You’re so easy.”

Poptarts piped up, “You’re such a jerk.”

Connor forgot how to breathe for a second. Was Elder Church messing with him?

“So?” Connor asked.

Elder Church shrugged, “It’s fine by me, Elder McKinley.”

“Really?” Connor was still feeling rattled by his earlier response.

“It really is none of my business who you choose to date,” Elder Church stood up, “You know what? I’m going to go over there to enjoy my cuppa, so that we don’t have to talk about our feelings anymore.”

Elder Church quickly moved to the couch in the living room before Connor could say anything else.

“Told you, you have nothing to worry about,” Poptarts put a hand on Connor's shoulder.

“Yes, that leaves Elder Davis and Elder Neely,” Connor checked his watch. The pair should be coming to breakfast any minute now.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It was already seven-thirty and there was still only the three of them at breakfast.

“Where is everybody?”

“Oh you didn’t know?” Elder Church brought his empty cup to the sink.

“Know what? Where did they go?” Connor honestly had no clue.

“To the neighbouring villages, with Gotswana. Price woke us up at like five thirty this morning, asking if we wanted to help out. Michaels said okay, I remember telling Price to piss off, and then I went back to sleep,” he recounted.

Kevin never knocked on their door that morning, nor did he mention anything about the excursion last night. Why wasn’t Connor informed?

It wasn’t like Connor expected the Elders to tell him of their whereabouts every minute of the day. It was just basic courtesy to inform him, their district leader, if they were going to take half the gang on a trip to the outskirts, right? What if something bad happened? What if they needed help, and Connor had no idea that they were in trouble? What if they went missing and never returned?

Just because Kevin was his boyfriend, that doesn’t give him the free pass to do whatever he wants.

Who was Connor kidding, Kevin Price already does whatever he wants anyway, regardless if they were together or not. He had zero respect for any kind of authority or rules. Connor reckoned that Kevin was making up for all those years of unwavering obedience to the Church and his parents.

“Did he say what time they’ll be back?”

“If he did, I wasn’t awake enough to pay attention. It was five-thirty in the morning, what do you expect?”

Maybe someone in the village would know.

“Does that mean I get my day off?” Elder Church asked.

Connor didn’t have the time nor patience to deal with Elder Church right now, “You can help Poptarts with whatever he’s doing today.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor’s knee bopped up and down as he repeatedly glanced at the clock on his computer screen. Ghali had told Connor that he was meeting Gotswana at three, which meant that the group should be back by then.

The clock on his screen read 6:05.

Connor was just about to march back to the village, with the intention of assembling a search party, when he heard the front door open and the missing Elders file into the hut.

He leaped out of his chair at once and into the living room, searching for the one person responsible.

“Elder McKinley, hey,” Elder Michaels greeted as he walked passed.

Connor acknowledged the Elder with a terse nod and strode over to Kevin, who was by the dining table, laughing at something Arnold said.

“Connor! Look what the villagers gave us!” Kevin beamed as he showed off the produce gifted by the villagers they had visited.

“Why didn’t you tell me where you were going? Jesus, Kevin, you can’t just up and disappear whenever you like,” Connor snapped.

Kevin’s smile faltered, “What are you talking about?”

“Yesterday, and then today? Have you forgotten what happened the last time you ran off on your own and ended up in the General’s camp without any of us knowing where you were?!” Connor regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He didn’t mean to remind Kevin of the incident.

Arnold scowled at him, “Not cool, McKinley.”

“Why are you bringing that up?” Kevin paled as he backed away from Connor, “I don’t know why you’re so upset. You knew where we were going.”

“No, I didn’t,” Connor frowned. What was Kevin talking about?

“You were there! At the clinic! Gotswana asked me to gather the Elders to help out with the mobile clinic. You were right there!”

Connor remembered Kevin’s conversation with Gotswana before they left the clinic. At the time, he was too preoccupied with fretting about Kevin being angry with him, he didn’t pay much heed to what was being said. Connor recalled Kevin saying something along the lines of ‘I’ll let them know’, but that was it.

“But why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Because by the time I got to your door, there were already five of us, which was more than enough people to help,” Kevin explained with a tired sigh.

Neither of them knew what to say after that.

Connor was at a loss. He had let his anxieties get to him, and now he was yelling at Kevin for no reason at all. Two days into his relationship with the boy of his dreams, and he was already royally screwing things up.

“Well!” Arnold laughed awkwardly, “Looks like it’s just a simple case of misunderstanding. Shall we have a kiss and make up.”

Connor and Kevin both groaned and rolled their eyes.

“I’m-,” Connor was about to apologise when Kevin cut him off with a wave.

“It’s fine. Won’t happen again,” Kevin assured with a tight smile.

Connor reached out for him, but Kevin stepped away, “I’ll just go wash up.”

Arnold threw a look at Connor before following Kevin back to their bedroom.

“Trouble in paradise, huh?”

“Not now, Church.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“What should I do, Poptarts?” Connor groaned into his pillow.

Kevin wasn't mad, he didn't think, they talked at dinner, and they still hung out in the living room for a bit, like they always do. But tonight, Kevin felt distant, and Connor had no idea what he could do to undo all the things he had said.

“Connor,” Poptarts was using his serious voice, “Have you ever thought that maybe Kevin isn’t really good for you?”

Connor lifted his head from the pillow at once, “What? Why are you talking about him like he’s junk food? Not good for me how?”

“Well, maybe he is like junk food you know? Not in an insulting kind of way,” Poptarts added quickly when Connor was about to retort, “But just in a he’s detrimental to your health kinda way.”

Connor just laughed. That was absurd. Kevin was the best thing that has ever happened to Connor.

“Poptarts-”

“Listen Connor, you can’t tell me that you haven’t been a different person of late. You didn’t even used to have a temper before Kevin came along,” Poptarts pointed out, “You were like the calmest person ever and now, you’ve yelled at Kevin how many times in the last 48 hours?”

Connor was never angry at Kevin when he yelled. He was just worried, and it was always justifiable, Kevin was always looking for trouble. And ever since Kevin fell sick, Connor had become even more stressed and anxious. Because it had finally hit home that this was not some eighth grade field trip where they have teachers taking care of their everything. They were on their own in Uganda, and things could actually go really wrong. It could have been life or death.

But to be honest, Kevin was not the only one Connor was worried about. He was worried for all of them.

“Look it’s not Kevin. I just have a lot of things to deal with that’s all,” Connor shook his head, “I can promise you that Kevin’s good for me. When I’m with him I’m really happy, and it’s like all my stress just goes away.”

Connor couldn't stop grinning as he reminisced about the moments when he was with Kevin, the feeling of peace and pure joy.

Poptarts put down his puzzle book and started to gather his pillow and blankets from his bed, “You owe me one, Connor.”

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Poptarts rolled his eyes as he carried all of his stuff out of their room.

Poptarts came back almost immediately after that, dragging a shirtless Kevin with him, “You get one night, Connor. I’ll see you in the morning, provided I haven’t committed suicide or murder yet.”

Connor sat dumbfounded on the bed, as Poptarts returned after his third trip to the other room, and shoved Kevin’s pillow and blankets at him.

“Thanks?” Kevin frowned, standing at the doorway with only his shorts on and his hands full of bedding.

It was a funny sight to behold, and Connor smiled fondly.

What did he ever do to deserve a friend like Poptarts?


	19. Chapter 19

“Well?” Connor clasped his hands together expectantly as Kevin entered the room.

“Well what?” Kevin dropped his stuff onto the bed.

Connor noticed how he seemed to have lost some weight.

“What do you want to do now that we have the room to ourselves?”

Kevin’s face fell, “It’s late Connor, and I’m exhausted.”

“Oh,” Connor figured he would be, but he couldn’t help feeling disappointed.

“I’m sorry."

“No, no. It’s fine,” Connor tried to sound like he meant it.

Kevin gave him a small smile and extended an olive branch, “If you want, we could push the beds together?”

Connor brightened at the suggestion, “I’ll do it! You stay put.”

He moved the small table between the beds out of the way, and then dragged his bed over to the other one.

After brushing their teeth, the both of them climbed into their makeshift double bed. They lay facing each other, separated by the tiny rift in between the beds.

“Goodnight Kev,” Connor planted a gentle kiss on Kevin’s forehead.

Even in the dark, Connor could see Kevin’s eyes flutter open, “Goodnight.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

During the night, Connor had somehow managed to end up entirely on Kevin’s side. When he woke up in the morning, he had his arms full of Kevin, and Kevin’s head was on his chest.

Connor checked his watch, it was already nine in the morning. It had been so long since Connor slept for a full ten hours, so he had forgotten how good it felt like to be well-rested.

A laugh bubbled from his chest, he was just so happy.

“Is it time to wake up already?”

“No sleepyhead, it’s Saturday, it’s our day off,” Connor tried to comb Kevin’s hair to the left with his fingers.

“Then why’d you wake me up,” Kevin muttered sleepily and tried to slap Connor’s fingers away.

Connor tried to give Kevin a centre-part.

“Stoooop it,” Kevin tilted his head and frowned at Connor.

“I think you’ll look good with a center part,” Connor teased.

“Nobody looks good with a center part.”

They were both completely awake now, bathed in the golden sunlight which is shining through the windows.

Connor spotted the bandage still on Kevin’s side, peeking out from the covers, “Does it still hurt?”

“What? Oh, that. Not too bad, it’s getting better,” Kevin shrugged, “Can I go back to sleep, please?”

“You want to sleep this beautiful morning away?”

“What do you want to do then?”

Connor hummed, “I was thinking maybe we could have a picnic by the lake. It can be our first official date.”

“First date? I think we’re way passed that.”

“We are, huh? Well, it can just be a random romantic date then,” Connor couldn’t wait, “Let’s go see what the others are doing today.”

“What?! They’re all coming along too?” Kevin’s eyes widened.

“No silly, of course not. I just want to check in with everyone,” Connor nudged Kevin’s shoulder, “C’mon, get up so we can get going.”

“Five more minutes?” Kevin bargained.

“No, Kevin. Get up!”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Kevin had to go back to his room to change, so Connor went ahead to breakfast. All of the Elders were already at the dining table by the time he got there.

They were in the midst of a heated discussion about their plans for their day off.

“All I’m saying is, if you guys really want to do it, we may have to stay there overnight,” Elder Church said.

“But we don’t have any camping equipment?” Elder Neely frowned.

“We don’t have climbing equipment too.”

“Are you sure we need to get up on the mountain at all?” Arnold looked sceptical, “I’m sure the sun will look exactly like how it does from the ground, right?”

“Elder McKinley! Morning!” Elder Davis greeted chirpily.

“Morning Elders,” Connor smiled back at him, and took a seat beside Poptarts, “Hey, how did you sleep?”

Poptarts showed Connor his bowl of cereal soaked in black coffee, instead of milk.

“Oh gosh, gross!” Connor wrinkled his nose.

“He snores, Connor. So loudly,” Poptarts shook his head dejectedly, “I have no idea how Elder Price sleeps through that.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry you had to go through that. But all thanks to you, I had a great night’s sleep,” Connor beamed, “You’re the best!”

“At least one of us got to sleep,” Poptarts held up his hand, “And no. No amount of flattery is going to work. I’m never doing this again.”

“What do you think, Elder McKinley?”

“Sorry, what?” Connor had no idea what they were talking about.

“We’re thinking of visiting the Ik people on Mount Murongole, maybe catch the sunrise on the mountain,” Elder Michaels explained, “What do you think?”

Elder Church rolled his eyes, “By ‘we’, he means himself, and he’s dragging us all on this crazy trip with him.” 

“I don’t know guys, it sounds pretty dangerous to be climbing a mountain without a guide,” Connor didn’t think it was a good idea at all, “Besides, we don’t even speak their language.”

Elder Michaels remained unperturbed, “It’s not exactly mountaineering, we just have to hike up the mountain. It’s only a five-mile climb.”

Arnold choked on his drink, “Only?!”

“I guess it does sound doable,” Elder Neely and Elder Davis looked at each other and shrugged.

Kevin finally appeared in the kitchen. Connor pulled out the chair beside himself and handed him his cup of coffee.

“Kevin, bud! Save me! Michaels wants me to climb five miles up a mountain, a freaking mountain, to see icky people,” Arnold groaned.

“What are you talking about?” Kevin looked amused.

“It’s going to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, guys. Elder Price, I’m sure you’ll be interested to join us, right? You must have heard of the Ik people,” Elder Michaels said.

“The Ik people?" That caught Kevin's interest, "The tribe who got evicted from their farmland by the British colony? Yeah, I’d be down for that, it sounds really educational. How steep is the hike?” Kevin looked over at Connor for his opinion.

Connor shook his head, “Way steeper than what you can manage right now. Have you forgotten what the doctor said? No sports for two weeks.”

“Walking is not a sport,” Kevin argued, “I’ve read about the Ik people, and they have a really interesting history. How cool would it be to be able to see for ourselves?”

Elder Church scoffed, “Nerd."

Kevin’s enthusiasm was endearing, but Connor had a bad feeling about this. He had planned for them to be relaxing by the lake, safe and sound, instead of attempting to scale a mountain without any prior planning and safety precautions. What if someone got hurt? What if Kevin got hurt?

“Let’s go meet the Ik people!” Elder Michaels shouted excitedly at his mission companion.

Elder Church sighed, “Oh my gosh, fine. Let’s go climb this damn mountain.”

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose. He had to stop this, “No, Elders. We’re not doing this.”

Arnold raised his hand, “I second what Elder McKinley said!”

“But, Connor!” Kevin looked thoroughly disappointed.

“Please, Elder Mckinley? I’ve always wanted to go,” Elder Michaels begged, “I think we can learn a lot from this trip.”

“Enough. I said, we’re not going,” Connor’s tone was final. It was the correct decision to make, even though it may be an unpopular one.

Elder Church shrugged, “What brilliant plan do you have for us then, oh fearful leader?”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Wow," Kevin deadpanned, "This is so romantic."

The two of them were lounging at their usual spot by the lake, watching all the Elders splash around in the cool, pristine waters.

“I’m sorry,” Connor sighed, “I had to make sure that they don’t run off to climb the stupid mountain on their own.”

Connor didn’t think they would disobey him anyway, but it was always best to be safe than sorry.

“It’s not a stupid mountain, Connor,” Kevin proceeded to recount the story of the Ik people, how they were mistreated and neglected by the government, and forced to change their lifestyle in order to adapt to their new settlement in the mountains.

Connor must admit that the tribe did sound like it was worth a visit. Maybe they could go there someday, but that day was not today.

“You don’t really think you could hike up a mountain right now, do you?” Connor raised an eyebrow. Connor only pretended to not notice the small winces Kevin makes when he moves wrong. He was clearly not a hundred percent yet.

“No, but I could try.”

“You don’t have to prove anything, you know? Sometimes, it’s like you have a death wish or something.”

“Maybe I do,” Kevin muttered under his breath.

“What?!” Connor must have heard him wrongly.

“What? Nothing,” Kevin’s head snapped up, “Gosh, what wouldn’t I give to have a swim right now.”

What did Kevin mean by that? Did he have something to prove, or did he have a death wish?

Connor stared at his boyfriend worriedly, “Yeah, just- I don’t want to see you land yourself in the hospital again, alright? You’re like the most reckless person I’ve ever known.”

Kevin pouted, “It wasn’t my fault the last two times.”

“I know, I know. Just take better care of yourself, will you?”

“I’m not swimming in the lake right now, am I? Even though I really really really want to. I’m adventurous, not stupid.”

Connor laughed at Kevin’s choice of word. Adventurous, right.

“Besides,” Kevin closed the distance between them, “You’ll take care of me.”

“Mmm hmm,” Connor hummed as they kissed, “You bet I will.”

“Elder McKinley?”

Connor turned around to see a horrified Elder Davis, who was staring at them like they had grown an extra head, “What are you doing?”

“Oh, hey Elder Davis,” Connor forgot all about him wanting to talk to Elder Davis and Neely.

Elder Davis pivoted on his heel at once, and strode away from them.

“Elder Davis!” Connor sprung to his feet.

The Elder threw Connor a glance over his shoulder for a second, and continued marching away.

“What was that?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know.”


	20. Chapter 20

Connor caught up with Elder Davis, “Elder Davis, wait up!”

“Elder McKinley, it’s alright, you don’t have to explain,” Elder Davis forced a smile, “I was just surprised is all.”

“Elder Davis, please. Can we talk about this?” Connor had a hold on his shoulder.

“There’s nothing much to talk about,” Elder Davis’ breathing hitched.

“Hey hey, what’s wrong? Look at me, Ryan,” Connor turned him around, “What's wrong?”

“Connor!” Kevin’s voiced carried through the forest.

Elder Davis wiped a stray tear off his cheek, “I’m sorry, Elder McKinley. Please, I need to be alone. Tell Neels that I’m going back to the hut.”

“Connor!” Kevin’s voice drew nearer.

Elder Davis threw a quick look over Connor’s shoulder, and slipped out of Connor’s grasp, “I’m fine, Elder McKinley. I just- I need to go back.”

Connor swivelled around to see Kevin jogging towards him.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be running,” Connor chided.

Kevin ignored him, “What’s going on?”

Connor looked back in the direction of where Elder Davis walked off, “I'm not sure. He was pretty upset.”

“What? Why?” Kevin looked as confused, “Was it because of us?”

“Maybe Elder Neely will know what’s going on with him,” Connor put his hand on the small of Kevin’s back, “C’mon, let’s go back to the lake.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

When Connor and Kevin got back to the lake, the Elders were already digging in on the food, while dripping lake water all over the picnic mat.

“Elder McKinley, there you are. We were wondering where you guys were!” Elder Michaels waved.

"We weren't sure if we should go looking for you. I mean, I don't want to have to see you guys do god-knows-what in the bushes," Elder Church joked.

"Fuck off, Church."

Connor sat down beside Elder Neely, “Elder Neely, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Hey guys, where’s Elder Davis?” Arnold asked.

“He went back to the hut, he wasn’t feeling well,” Connor lied.

Elder Neely frowned in concern for his companion, “He didn’t mention anything before. I should go back to check on him.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Connor offered. He glanced over at Kevin, who was uncharacteristically quiet, “Hey, are you okay?”

Kevin looked up at him through his lashes, “Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?” Connor prodded.

Kevin stared at the ground as he muttered, “Remember when I said that I don’t care what everyone else think?”

Connor nodded.

“Well, that’s not exactly true,” Kevin sighed.

“It’s going to be okay,” Connor promised. He gave Kevin’s shoulder a quick squeeze, before running to catch up with Elder Davis.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Actually,” Connor wrung his hands, “Elder Davis didn’t return to the hut because he was feeling sick.”

“What?” Elder Neely stopped, “Then why did you lie? What happened?”

Connor decided that he should cut to the chase, “He saw Elder Price and I- Ummm, Kiss,” Elder Neely’s eyes widened at that, “And then he got really upset.”

“Oh,” Elder Neely took some time to process what Connor just said.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to tell you both but it just slipped my mind. I thought maybe you would know what’s going on with Ryan,” Connor scrubbed at his face.

“I don’t know if he’d want you to know,” Elder Neely sighed, “I think I’d better go check on him at the hut alone. You should go back to the lake.”

“Eli, please. What’s going on?”

“It’s not my place to say,” Elder Neely looked incredibly conflicted.

“Is he going to be okay?”

Connor must have looked as distressed as he felt, because Elder Neely’s resolve broke, “Look, don’t tell him I told you this, and please don’t tell anyone this, but it’s not what you think,” he took a deep breath, “Ryan likes you. A lot.”

“Wait,” Connor started, “You mean-”

“Yeah,” Elder Neely nodded sadly, “I’m gonna go,” he pointed his thumb towards the mission hut ahead of them, “Maybe you shouldn’t come in with me. Don’t worry too much, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“He didn’t look fine.”

“Just go back to the lake, Elder McKinley. I’ll take care of it,” Elder Neely assured, “And congratulations on the two of you, I guess?”

Connor was left standing in the middle of the dirt path, still very much stunned by the revelation. It was the complete opposite of what he thought it would be. Elder Davis was in love with him? Connor hated that he was the cause of Elder Davis’ misery. But what was he supposed to do? He didn’t feel the same way, Elder Davis was like a little brother to him.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“So?” Kevin asked the second Connor sat down on the mat.

Like at the party, Kevin had saved Connor a full plate of food. The other Elders were back in the lake, having taken their lunch, except for Poptarts, who was napping on the mat.

It should have been a perfect Saturday afternoon, but Connor’s gut twisted at the thought of Elder Davis crying in his room, all because of him. He knew that it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt guilty nonetheless.

“It’ll be fine, he just needs some time,” Connor exhaled.

“What does that mean?”

Connor didn’t want to betray Elder Neely’s trust, but it seemed wrong to leave Kevin wondering.

“Elder Davis was not upset because of us,” Connor frowned, “Well, no. It WAS because of us, but it wasn’t because that we’re together, wait no, it kinda was but-”

“Connor!”

“Okay okay. Apparently he has a crush on me,” Connor winced.

“He’s gay?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know,” Connor shrugged, “Like you said, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

Kevin looked uneasy, “So do you- you know, like him too?

Connor looked at him in the eyes, “I’m with you, Kevin. I love you.” It was the first time Connor had said that out loud to anyone who weren’t his parents. But it felt right.

Kevin was dumbfounded at his proclamation, “I-”

“No, Kevin,” Connor placed his hand on Kevin’s knee, “You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.”

Kevin nodded, avoiding Connor’s gaze.

“Elder McKinley! Come join us!” Arnold yelled.

Connor gave a thumbs up to the Elders in the water.

“C’mere you,” Connor put his arms around Kevin’s waist, and whispered into his ear, “I love you, Kevin Price.”

Kevin smiled, and pushed him away, “Sap. Go swim for the both of us.”

Connor took off his shirt, and slandered on a thick layer of sunscreen. Kevin helped with his back, “I don’t get how you’re not even a little bit tanned after spending 4 months in Africa.”

“That’s because I don’t tan, I just get burnt. And after the sunburn heals, I go back to the same shade of pale,” Connor said.

“Alright, you’re all done.”

“Thanks."

“Connor?” Kevin called as Connor was about to leave for the lake.

“Yeah?”

“I- I think,” Kevin stared straight at Connor, “I think I love you too.”


	21. Chapter 21

The Elders were having actual Mac and Cheese for dinner, courtesy of Elder Michaels’ parents, who managed to send him twenty boxes of Kraft Mac and Cheese because it was his favourite food.

“This tastes like heaven!” Arnold moaned.

“It tastes like home,” Elder Michaels’ eyes were watery, “I’m missing my parents so much.”

Poptarts was slowly savouring it one tube at a time, “I’m making it last.”

Elder Church, for once, had no snide remarks to make. He was quietly enjoying the little piece of America in his bowl.

Elder Neely had taken two bowls of food back to his bedroom, citing Connor’s previous excuse that Elder Davis still wasn’t feeling well.

Connor had to admit, the familiar taste was making him homesick too. He didn’t want to start tearing up in front of all of the Elders, so he tried to distract himself with thoughts about what he was going to do with Elder Davis. And Kevin, who was currently eating his dinner with such desolation, Connor was worried that he was going to break down any second.

Arnold must have noticed it too, “Kev?”

Kevin didn’t respond, except to shove another spoonful of macaroni into his mouth.

“Kevin, you have to chew before you swallow hon,” Connor placed a reassuring hand on Kevin’s back.

“I can’t-,” At that, loud, gut-wrenching sobs tore through his chest, startling everyone at the dining table.

“Jesus Christ, Price,” Elder Church gaped.

Kevin’s body was wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears, “I can’t- I can’t do this anymore.”

Connor pulled Kevin into a hug, “Shhh…you don’t have to do anything now, Kev. Just breathe.”

Instead of letting up, Kevin’s crying became more and more frantic, and Connor wasn’t sure if he was taking in any air.

“Connor, he’s hyperventilating,” Poptarts said, “Church, where was that paper bag you were carrying earlier?”

“I can’t-,” Kevin gasped, “I can’t-”

“Jesus,” Elder Church looked around frenetically for the paper bag, “Michaels! Where did I put it?!”

“I don’t remember, gosh!” Elder Michaels joined Elder Church in searching.

Connor pushed Kevin’s trembling body back onto his chair, “You need to slow down. Focus on my eyes, Kev. Can you do that for me?”

Connor was trying his hardest to remain calm, so that he could remember his first aid training.

After a few nerve-racking seconds of watching him cough and gasp for air like a fish out of water, Kevin finally focused his wide-eyed gaze onto Connor’s.

“Good, now just try and match your breaths to mine,” Connor breathed in deeply, held his breath for a few seconds, before exhaling, “In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

Connor gestured for the hovering Arnold to give them some space.

Kevin’s breaths stuttered on the first few tries, but his breathing gradually returned to normal after what seemed like an eternity. He wiped at his eyes with a shaky hand as he sniffed.

The Elders slowly went back to their seats, seeing that the immediate crisis was over.

Poptarts handed Connor a cool glass of water.

“Here,” Connor placed the glass in Kevin’s trembling hands, and guided them towards Kevin's mouth.

 Kevin took a small sip. Connor took the glass from him, as it was shaking precariously in his grasp.

“Do you still want to finish your dinner?” Connor asked softly.

Kevin shook his head.

“Alright then, let's go back to your room,” Connor pulled Kevin’s pliant body from the chair and led them away from the table.

The Elders watched silently with concerned gazes, their dinner forgotten.

Connor reassured them with a nod. It must have been scary for them to see Kevin like that, but Connor didn't have the time to be concerned about them now.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor sat beside Kevin on the bed, his back against the headboard. Kevin lay curled up on his side, facing away from him.

Connor was stroking at his hair, “How are you feeling?”

No answer.

“What did you mean,” Connor ran a hand through his own hair, “When you said that you couldn’t do it anymore?”

Connor could hear the Elders clearing up in the kitchen. He listened to the muffled clanking of pots and bowls while he waited.

He wondered if he should leave Kevin alone for now, “Do you want me to go?”

Kevin stayed quiet.

He took that as a yes, and started to rise up from the bed.

“No,” Kevin gasped, “Don’t leave.”

Connor sat back down immediately, “Not leaving, Kevin. I’m not leaving.”

Kevin turned around, and laid his forehead against Connor’s hip.

“Please don’t leave me,” Kevin breathed.

Connor had a feeling that Kevin was referring to more than just him leaving the room, “I’m here for as long as you want me to be.”

There was a tentative knock on the door, before it opened and Arnold poked his head in, “Kev?”

Kevin went back to keeping mum, his face hidden from view.

Connor took the hint, “Hey Elder Cunningham, what’s up?”

Arnold quietly stepped inside and handed Connor a small bar of Hershey’s, “Elder Michaels has been stockpiling the candies his parents sent him, and he thought that maybe some chocolate would help cheer Kev up. It has mostly turned to goo now though.”

Connor took the squishy, misshapen packet, “Thanks, Arnold.”

Arnold squeezed Kevin’s shoulder, “I’m gonna go over to Nabulungi’s. I’ll be back later, okay Kev?”

Kevin gave a minuscule nod.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It was thirty minutes later, when Kevin spoke again, “What’s the worst thing that your parents have ever said to you?”

Connor was taken aback, “What?”

Kevin repeated his question.

“I don’t know, I guess well, there was once, I got caught cheating during my exam, and my dad said that I was a total disappointment,” Connor recounted, “But Kevin, people say things that they don’t mean all the time. Especially when they’re angry.”

“If he didn’t mean it, why hasn’t he called back?”

Connor assumed that they were now talking about Kevin’s father. He didn’t know the answer to that, he had no clue what Mr and Mrs Price were thinking.

“I’ve been trying. I’ve tried so hard, so fucking hard. To forget about it. To pretend that it doesn’t bother me, pretend that I’m okay,” Kevin said morosely, “But I can’t- I can’t,” his breathing started catching again, “It just hurts really bad.”

“What did he say?” Connor continued stroking at Kevin’s hair.

“He said,” Kevin covered his eyes with his hand, “He said that it’d be easier for them to pretend that I had died in Uganda.”

Connor was speechless. How could Mr Price say that? What the heck?

Kevin suddenly laughed, “Do you think they’d actually preferred it if I had been killed by the General? Like some kind of martyr?”

“Kevin, please don’t say that,” Connor froze. 

“How do you turn it off?” Kevin whispered, “I can’t- I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Connor should know, there was no turning it off. Living in denial was never a solution, things would just build and build until one day, the dam cracks and collapses, and the floodwater destroys everything in its path.

Kevin began sobbing again, "It hurts so bad, Connor. Please make it stop."

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

This was way out of Connor’s depth. It was not something that could be easily fixed with a bar of half-melted chocolate and reassuring words. Kevin needed to talk to a professional counsellor or something.They could always go back to Kitgum hospital, or even Kampala, but Connor knew that they couldn’t really afford anything that wasn’t food right now. Maybe Connor could ask his parents for help. Or maybe it was time for them to return home.

“The stars sure are pretty tonight huh?” Poparts sat down on the steps beside Connor.

Kevin had fell asleep, exhausted from all the crying. Even though Connor wanted to stay in bed with him, he needed some air. Connor was on the verge of feeling entirely overwhelmed, and if he didn’t leave the room, he was going to fall off the edge and have a breakdown himself.

Poptarts glanced at Connor, “How is he doing?”

“Kevin’s dad is a dick,” Connor spat. Anger felt safe. Anger kept the feeling of helplessness at bay. Connor no longer felt like he was drowning when he was being mad at Kevin’s parents.

“So I’ve heard,” Poptarts nodded, “How are you doing?”

“This is harder than anything I’ve ever done, Poptarts,” Connor sighed, his anger melting away, “I’ve been keeping in touch with Spencer, you know Spencer, from my math class? Anyway, he’s district leader in Seoul, and he’s having it so easy, you have no idea. All he had to do is plan activities for his Elders to enjoy on their days off, maybe give a little encouragement here and there when they are falling behind on their numbers of baptisms. And here I am, trying to keep everyone alive and breathing.”

“You’re doing a fantastic job, Connor. But you don’t have to do this on your own,” Poptarts took Connor’s hand in his own, “We’re all in this together!”

Connor chuckled despite himself, “High school musical? Really?”

"What? You love musicals. But not my point," Poptarts shrugged, "Just remember that you're not alone here. We all want this to work. And we'll gladly put in the effort to make it work. You only need to say the word, and we'll gladly do whatever we can to help. We sure as heck are a lot hardier than those Elders in Seoul. Encouragement, pffft."

Connor bumped his shoulder against Poptarts', “Thanks, Poptarts.”


	22. Chapter 22

Connor stared dazedly at the flames licking around the bottom of the pot, while he was waiting for the water to boil. The hut was blissfully quiet. All of the Elders were spending their morning sleeping in, since they didn’t need to prepare for Sunday services anymore.

Connor was grateful to have the morning to himself. He was waiting for the aspirin to kick in, to quell his insomnia-induced migraine. It was taking its own sweet dang time.

“Elder McKinley.”

Connor spun around at the sudden voice, knocking over a metal cup onto the floor. The resulting ruckus was excruciatingly loud. Connor squeezed his eyes shut and groaned.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

This was so not a good time,  “Elder Davis,” Connor bent down to pick up the cup, “Morning.”

The Elder was staring at his own bare feet, “Elder McKinley, I know that Neels told you about- you know.”

Connor rubbed at his temples, “Ryan-”

“Look, Elder McKinley,” Connor was beginning to hate the sound of his last name, “I don’t want things to become weird between us, so can we just forget about it?”

Connor sighed, “I’m sorry you had to find out like that.”

Elder Davis shuffled on his feet, “So we’re good?”

“Of course we are,” Connor gave him a small smile, “Are you going to be okay?”

Elder Davis shrugged, “I guess deep down, I already knew that you don’t feel the same way about me, but I still held on to the hope that maybe someday- You know what, never mind. It’s stupid.”

“No, no. Ryan, it’s not stupid at all,” Connor still remembered the time when he thought that Kevin and him were never going to happen. It was a truly awful feeling. He felt bad that Elder Davis had to go through that.

“Anyway,” Elder Davis waved, “Elder Price is lucky to have you. You’re kind, and selfless, and-”

Connor cut him off, “Ryan, I’m sure you’ll find someone else, someone better.” Unlike Kevin, he was never good at taking compliments. They make him very uncomfortable.

“Yeah, well,” Elder Davis muttered softly, “They won’t be you though.”

Connor didn’t know what to say to that, except to change the topic, "Do you want some tea?”

He turned off the stove and poured hot water into his cup, submerging the small teabag. Chamomile tea never fails to make him feel better whenever he has a migraine.

“Sure, if you don’t mind,” Elder Davis pulled out a chair and sat down at the dining table.

Connor made another cup of tea and joined Elder Davis at the table.

“I heard about what happened with Elder Price yesterday,” Elder Davis fiddled with the string of the teabag.

The mention of Kevin was making his headache flare up, “Yeah.”

“Is he- is he alright?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

Connor leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, “I don’t know.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Can you stop working?” Kevin tried to snatch Connor’s laptop away, “It’s Sunday.”

“No,” Connor continued typing away, “Stop it, Kev. This is important.”

Kevin had surprised Connor when he woke up in a somewhat normal mood, at least it was considered normal for Kevin Price before he had his morning coffee. It wasn't exactly like he was pretending that nothing happened, but he wasn’t dwelling on his despair anymore either.

Connor didn’t know what to make of it. He was certain that everything was not all well, but it wasn’t like Connor had found a way to fix it yet, so he just let Kevin be.

They were holed up in Connor’s room, sitting on his bed. Kevin was busy being a distraction while Connor was trying to get work done.

“Fine. I guess I just have to entertain myself then.”

“You do know how that sounds, right?” Connor clicked ‘Send’ on yet another email.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m dating a workaholic. This is supposed to be a date, Connor McKinley!” Kevin slapped Connor hard, on his thigh.

“Ow!” Connor howled. He rubbed at his stinging flesh, “Look, it’s turning red. I hope you’re happy now.”

Kevin pouted, “I should have gone to play soccer with the others.”

Connor didn’t bother to tell Kevin how he shouldn’t be doing that. He knew Kevin was just saying that to annoy him.

To be fair, Connor never did say that they were having a date. They didn’t join in on the game as Kevin still can’t play sports and nobody wanted him to be the referee, and Connor’s head was still pounding something fierce. Connor just said in passing that he was glad they were finally getting some quiet alone time by themselves, and Kevin took it upon himself to call it a date.

He was scrolling through his inbox, when his eyes landed on an email from Sister Greene, his former tutor at the training center. She had always been his favourite tutor- formal but friendly, devout yet rational. After completing her mission in Kenya, she had set up a charitable organisation which helped to get medicine like ART to some of the poorest villages in Kenya. Connor had reached out to her, in hopes of getting advice, or maybe even contacts, if he was really lucky.

“Kevin,” Connor gasped as he read through the email, “Oh em gosh.”

“What, did you finally realise we’re on a date right now?”

Connor frowned, “What? No, Kevin. Read this,” he turned the laptop towards Kevin.

“Wow, your screen brightness is way down, how do you even read anything,” Kevin squinted at the computer and then back at Connor, “You still having that headache?”

“Read the email, Kevin!”

“I’m trying! Just let me get this thing-,” Kevin brightened up the screen of the laptop, “Dear Elder McKinley, I am really glad to hear from you. I must admit that I have been very worried after receiving news of your ex-communication from the Church. I am humbled that you think of me as a humanitarian, but I am just doing what I can to help those in need. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that I am unable to help with your district’s funding problem, the Church has taken an unwavering stance on that. However, may I present an alternative solution- I have told an uncle of mine of your present circumstance, and he is willing to help. He has amassed quite a fortune from his real estate endeavours, and has always been generous in contributing financially to worthy causes. He would like to speak with you- to find out more about you, your friends, and what you have achieved in the Ugandan village-”

Kevin stopped reading, “Wait, Connor. Is this- Is this for real?”

“I think so,” Connor laughed somewhat hysterically, “I think so! This could be it! This may just work! We don’t have to pack up and leave, Kevin!”

All his hard work has finally paid off! Connor couldn’t believe it. He grabbed onto the sides of Kevin’s face and kissed him, “Aren’t you glad that I’m working on our date now?”

“We need to go tell the others the good news!”

“No, Kevin wait!” Connor grabbed onto Kevin’s arm, “I think maybe we should just keep this to ourselves for now, in case this falls through. I don’t want them to get disappointed.”

“Okay?” Kevin looked uncertain as he sat back down, “But now that your work is done, we’re going on a date for real!” He brought his hand down on Connor’s leg again.

“Ow!” Connor cried out in pain, “Not yet, you child! Just let me reply to the email first.”


	23. Chapter 23

“C’mon give me your hand,” Connor extended his hand down to Kevin.

Kevin slapped his offending limb away, “I can do it.”

Kevin clambered up the final few rungs of the ladder to join Connor on the small wooden platform. Connor was excited to be back at the treehouse, with Kevin, no less.

“Did you know? I had a nightmare of you pushing me down to my death from up here,” Connor admitted. It felt cathartic to finally be able to say it out loud.

“Huh,” Kevin studied the ground below as he let his feet dangle off the edge, “The fall probably won’t kill you. Break a lot of your bones, maybe. Head injuries are highly likely too.”

“That’s your takeaway from what I just said?!”

Kevin frowned at Connor, “You know, they say that your dreams really are just your subconscious thoughts. So your subconscious thinks that I’d hurt people? That I’d hurt you?”

“What?” Connor went rigid. There Kevin goes again, with his dark thoughts. Was Connor supposed to be worried? Was Kevin gonna…

Kevin sighed and turned away.

“No, of course not! My brain’s just being…weird. Of course I wouldn’t think that you’d actually do that,” Connor added hastily.

“I was just joking, Connor,” Kevin said, but there was not a hint of play in his voice, “You don’t have to look at me like that, I’m not going to start losing it on you again.”

“Kev, I-”

“So, when are you going to meet with our potential benefactor?” Kevin asked.

“Uhh, tomorrow night. I’ve set up for a skype call tomorrow night.”

“Good, that’s good. How much money do you think he’ll give us?” Kevin gazed into the distant fields.

“I don’t even know if he’ll even give us any yet, don’t get your hopes up,” Connor squeezed Kevin’s knee.

Connor could hear rowdy yelling in the distance, probably from the soccer game. He drew circles with his finger on Kevin's knee.

“So you think that there’s still a chance we’ll have to return home by the end of the month?”

Connor sighed, “I can’t say, Kevin. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“You know, Church was really nice to me at breakfast today,” Kevin commented, “It was like he’s afraid of triggering me into having some sort of mental breakdown.”

Connor’s head spun at the abrupt segues, “Kevin-”

“He actually made an extra cup of coffee, for me, can you believe that?” Kevin shook his head and laughed airily.

“Well, everyone’s just concerned about you,” Connor reasoned, “They care, you know. They’ve been asking me about how you’re doing.”

Kevin looked away, “They did, huh? Why didn’t they ask me that themselves?”

Connor has been so used to answering the Elders’ questions about Kevin, that he didn’t realise he had inadvertently became sort of a buffer between Kevin and everyone else.

“Because you’re-,” Connor struggled to find the correct word. He couldn't, not without opening another can of worms.

“Well anyway, I wished that Church would just go back to hating me. It was really weird,” Kevin said.

“Elder Church doesn’t hate you, Kevin,” Connor was getting tired of repeating himself over and over again.

“Mmmm,” Kevin hummed noncommittally, and then went on, “If we have to go back to America, do you think there’ll still be an Us?”

“Kev, you’re giving me whiplash,” Connor muttered, and took a deep breath, “Of course we’ll still be together, unless you don’t want us to be?”

Kevin’s silence made Connor’s heart skip a beat.

Was Kevin changing his mind? Did he realise that he was straight after all?

“Kevin?”

“What?” Kevin snapped out of his daze, “No Connor, of course I’ll still want to be with you. I’m just thinking out loud, don’t mind me.”

Connor exhaled in relief, and tuck a loose lock of hair from Kevin’s forehead back to its place, “How can I not? Your thoughts are really depressing Kev. And you say that I’m the worrier.”

“I’m a realist now, remember?” Kevin inched closer, “You said you liked the new me.”

Connor quirked his eyebrow, “You actually remembered that?” Connor’s mind flashed back to the time when they were waiting for the bus to Kitgum under the tree.

“Of course,” Kevin looked down at Connor’s lips and then back at his eyes.

“I’m so confused right now,” Connor chuckled lightly. Was Kevin sad? Was he happy? Does he want to make out? Connor couldn’t tell anymore.

“What? Why?” Kevin frowned.

“Thinking out loud, don’t mind me,” Connor repeated Kevin’s words, and then leaned in to plant a kiss on Kevin’s lips.

Kevin grinned and laid his head on Connor’s shoulder. Together, they waited for the sun to set.

“It’s going so slowly.”

“Are you actually asking the Sun to hurry up? The Sun?!” Connor guffawed.

Kevin pursed his lips, “Technically, I’m asking the Earth to go faster.”

“Oh Kevin Price, I love you so much.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

By the time the Kevin and Connor got back to the mission hut, the other Elders were already back from their game of soccer, and were preparing for dinner.

“Elder McKinley!” Elder Michaels greeted Connor with a wave and nodded politely at Kevin, “Elder Price. Just in time, Elder Church and I are almost done with dinner.”

“Thank you, Elder Michaels,” Connor clapped Elder Michaels on his back.

“Kev, bud! You won’t believe this! We won the game!” Arnold pulled Kevin down onto the couch beside him.

“Really?” Kevin laughed.

Connor was actually impressed that the Elders had it in them to win the Ugandans at soccer. The villagers were too good, and the Elders were well, them.

“That’s because Arnold convinced Nabulungi to join our team,” Elder Neely explained, “She scored all the goals.”

“Yeah! How amazing is my Nabu, right?!” Arnold cooed, and then grabbed at Kevin to whisper something in his ear. Kevin glanced once at Connor as Arnold continue to whisper.

Connor was intrigued. Were they talking about him? Kevin's eyes flitted over to him again.

When Arnold finally finished, he gave Kevin a pleading look.

After a moment of hesitation, Kevin reluctantly said, “Okay.”

Arnold squealed. He grabbed Kevin’s face, “You’re the best! I love you so much best friend!”

“Oh eww! Arnold! Your spit’s on my face,” Kevin tried to shy away.

Arnold laughed, “You love my spit, best friend!”

“Gross!” Elder Neely shuddered.

“No, I most certainly do not,” Kevin finally broke free from Arnold’s hold, and fell back onto Connor, who was perched on the armrest of the couch.

“What was that about?” Connor tapped on Kevin’s shoulder.

“Hmm?” Kevin frowned, “It’s not important.”

Connor rolled his eyes. And Kevin said that Connor was the worst liar?

“Guys!” Elder Michaels called out, “Dinner is served!”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Are you gonna tell me what it is?” Connor slurped at his vegetable stew.

Kevin shrugged.

“Is it about me?” Connor tried.

“Umm...”

Arnold was clearly listening in on their conversation, because he tried to bail his friend out at once, “Kev! I gotta tell you something,” he pulled on Kevin’s elbow. Kevin immediately obliged and turned away from Connor.

For the rest of the dinner, Kevin was occupied with listening to Arnold recount what happened at the soccer game, peppered with pop-culture references at every turn. Connor was sure that Kevin wasn’t actually taking in anything his companion was saying. He was just trying to avoid answering Connor’s questions, and that only made Connor even more determined to find out what the secret was.

Game on, Kevin. Connor smirked.


	24. Chapter 24

“I’m done with this shit!” Elder Church threw his hand of cards on the ground when he was declared the loser, “This game is rigged!”

Poptarts booed at the Elder, “You’re just out of luck tonight!”

“Ugh, I’m done,” Elder Church stretched as he stood up from the floor, “Count me out for the next round.”

Connor saw his opportunity to help integrate Kevin into the group of Elders. He nudged Kevin, “Wanna play?”

Kevin looked up from his position on Connor’s lap, where his head laid, “No.”

Connor sighed, “So you don’t want to play Uno, you don’t want to tell me what Arnold said about me, and you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you. What do you want to do then?”

Kevin looked up again, “Can we do nothing?”

“Fine, whatever you want,” Connor went back to running his fingers through Kevin’s hair.

Connor lifted his gaze from Kevin to the group of Elders on the floor. His eyes met Elder Davis’, and the other boy immediately averted his gaze. Connor sighed and his shoulders slumped.

“What?” Kevin asked.

“Nothing.”

Kevin took Connor’s reply as a retaliation on his own reluctance to share, “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to tell you. But I’ve promised Arnold I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Connor was never going to win against Kevin. Not now, not ever.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It was dead in the middle of the night when Connor was rudely roused from his dreamless sleep by a strong grip on his arm.

“Connor,” someone whispered and shook him, hard.

He meant to ask What? but all that came out was a croak. It couldn’t be morning already, right? Who the heck was interrupting him from his beauty sleep?

The shaking didn’t let up, so he had no choice but to open his eyes.

“Connor.”

Connor murmured, “I’m up, I’m up. What’s the matter, Kev?”

“I thought I can do it, but I can’t.”

Connor frowned at the distress in Kevin’s voice. He pushed his blankets away and sat up immediately, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Kevin threw a look at a sleeping Poptarts, and tried to pull Connor out of bed. Connor was too sleepy and baffled to resist him, “Where’re we going?”

Kevin led Connor out of his room, “I need you to sleep with me.”

“What?!” Connor’s eyes bulged.

“No, not that! I need you to sleep in my room with me.”

“But Arnold-”

“Arnold’s not here,” Kevin admitted sheepishly, “Mafala is away visiting some relatives in Kampala, so Arnold’s staying over with Nabulungi.”

“He what?!” Connor exclaimed. That was most certainly against their rules.

Everything about last evening was starting to make sense to Connor. But why was Kevin telling him now? What was Kevin afraid of, the dark?

Connor followed Kevin into his empty room, “Arnold knows that he’s not allowed to do that right? I’ll have to put him on cleaning and weeding duty for that. And we both know that you’ll be the one doing all the actual work.”

“But I-,” Kevin pouted, “Can’t you pretend that you didn’t see anything?”

In his mind, Connor already knew that he wasn’t going to punish Kevin for it, “I wouldn’t have actually, if you haven’t woken me up in the middle of the night. So what’s the matter?”

Although, the thought of his Elders sneaking out at night without Connor’s knowledge terrified him greatly. Didn’t they know that all the rules were put in place for their own safety?

“Ever since- since the incident with-,” Kevin hugged himself, “I can’t sleep alone. When I close my eyes, it reminds me of- it’s like I’m back at- I feel like he’s coming to get me.”

Connor’s heart shattered at Kevin’s admission. He was not aware how deeply affected Kevin still was by his encounter with the General, because he never ever spoke about it. And nobody dared to bring it up. Connor still didn’t know the details of what happened that day, Kevin didn’t reveal it to anyone, not even Arnold, but Connor knew enough. It was something truly terrible.

Connor would never forgive himself for leaving Kevin behind that day. He supposed this was why he was always overprotective when it comes to Kevin, and Connor lets him get away with almost anything, like lying about the whereabouts of his companion or being rude to Connor. He was making up to Kevin for being a horrible district leader, and he was making sure that nothing like that ever happened again.

“Kev, I’m sorry that-”

“No!” Kevin cut him off, “No, I don’t want to talk about it now. Just shut up and sleep with me,” he climbed into his own bed.

Connor could do that. He would do anything for Kevin. He would give anything to take Kevin’s hurt and trauma away.

Kevin wrapped his blanket tightly around himself, and left Connor to figure out where he was going to sleep. Just like the other night, Connor pushed the two beds together.

He got into Arnold’s bed and snuggled up behind Kevin, paying no heed to the uncomfortable dip between the mattresses.

“Goodnight Kev,” Connor pressed his lips onto the top of Kevin’s head.

“Mmmm…night.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Elder Cunningham,” Connor was there when Arnold walked through the front door the next morning.

He must have planned to sneak into his room to change, and join the Elders at breakfast.

“Oh hey! Elder McKinley!” Arnold greeted too brightly, “I went for a walk. What a nice morning, right?”

“Uh huh,” Connor nodded, “Do your walks normally last the whole night?”

Arnold’s jaw dropped, “Did Kevin-”

“Look, Elder Cunningham,” Connor dropped his hands from his hips, “Just because we’re not an actual district anymore, doesn’t mean that we don’t have to follow the rules. Sure, some rules are just plain ridiculous, and yes, it’s okay to throw them out the window. But rules like not venturing out into the dark by yourself, and spending the night somewhere else without informing me, they’re not there with the intention of making your life difficult. They’re put in place to protect you. I’m just trying to keep everyone safe. Do you think I actually like nagging at everyone all the time?”

“Ye-”

Connor raised his index finger, “Shush. I’m not done yet. Another thing, I don’t know what you and Nabulungi are doing in your free time, nor do I want to, but please be careful Elder Cunningham. I’m sure I don’t need to explain The Birds and The Bees to you. We really cannot afford to deal with the consequences of what your actions might bring, understood?”

“Okay? But-“

“Nope. Still not done yet. I need to tell you something about Kevin,” Connor proceeded to tell him what happened during the night when Arnold was gone.

Arnold was mortified, “I’m- I didn’t know that he’s still-”

“You’re not to tell him that I’ve told you this, I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about it. Just make sure that this doesn’t happen again, alright?”

“Of course!” Arnold gave Connor a salute, and then meekly asked, “Does that mean I’ll have to be on cleaning duty for the next two weeks?”

“Actually, the punishment would have been cleaning AND weeding duties for two weeks,” Arnold gulped at that, “But no, I’m letting you off with just a verbal warning this time.”

Arnold leaped forward and gave Connor a bone-crushing hug, “Oh thank goodness! I knew that it’d be useful for Kevin to be dating the district leader.”

“Elder Cunningham! That’s not why-,” Arnold was gone before Connor could finish.

Connor groaned in indignation.


	25. Chapter 25

After working on his presentation for the Skype meeting all day, Connor decided to reward himself with a walk around the village.

Maybe he could go to the school and check up on Kevin, and of course the other Elders too, because he wasn’t biased like that. No, he really wasn’t, no matter what Arnold seemed to think. He quickly filled a cooler box with chilled bottled water from the fridge, and stepped out into the searing Ugandan sun.

Before school building was in his sights, he could already hear the twinkling laughter of the children, and also Kevin’s voice.

“Alright, alright, we’ll give that one to Mirembe,” Kevin clapped his hands to get their attention, “Emma! Your turn. Give us something that starts with the letter L.”

Connor leaned against one of the trees and observed the class, a smile tugging at his lips.

A little girl in pigtails looked up at Kevin, even though he was already kneeling on the grass, “I spy stinky!”

Kevin nodded, “Alright, something stinky that starts with the letter L. Who wants to take a guess?”

A boy tugged at Kevin’s sleeve shyly.

“Yes, Adroa? Do you have the answer?”

Adroa whispered his answer into Kevin’s ear and giggled.

Kevin frowned, “Oh ummm, that’s not very nice Adroa.”

There was a chorus of excited yelling, “What! What he say, Kay-win?!”

Adroa mightily yelled, “Levi! Stinky Levi!” And the children broke into rowdy laughter.

“Oi!” A chubby boy stomped his feet on the grass.

Connor guessed that he was probably Levi.

“Alright alright,” Kevin tried to calm them down, “Lesson’s over! That’s it. Time to go home,” he inserted himself between Adroa and Levi, who were poking at each other with their tiny fingers, “Hey, Adroa stop it. Levi, you too!”

Adroa sprinted away towards the school building and Levi chased after him.

Connor was close enough to hear Kevin mutter, “Oh God.”

“Kay-win!” A girl raised both her arms up at Kevin, “Carry! Carry me!”

“I can’t yet, Gamisha,” Kevin ruffled her short curly hair, “Next time, okay?”

“But whyyyyyy!” The girl clung to Kevin’s legs like an octopus.

“I’ve told you why,” Kevin sighed

“But! But! That is last Mmm-Moon-day!”

“WAS last MONday,” Kevin corrected her, “Look Gami, your mama’s here!”

“Hmph! You are so old!” The girl ran away from Kevin into her mother’s waiting arms.

“What?!” Kevin shook his head and sighed to himself.

Connor burst out laughing at that, and Kevin swivelled around with his hands on his chest, “Jesus fuck!”

“Connor!” Kevin frowned, “What are you doing here? How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” Connor pushed himself off the tree, “Look at you, making English fun.”

“Did that look fun to you?” Kevin raised his eyebrows, “I’m exhausted.”

“You’re really good with kids,” Connor handed Kevin a bottle from his cooler box. He never really had time to watch Kevin interact with the children before. Connor found it to be a very attractive trait indeed. He didn’t think that that there was any way he could be any more smitten with Kevin Price. Boy, was he wrong.

Kevin took a big gulp of water, “I do have four younger siblings. Well, had.”

“Kevin,” Connor’s smile faltered.

“I’m done for the day, shall we head back?”

“Wait! I gotta distribute these to the other Elders,” Connor held up his cooler box, “Who are working hard to build a school building, unlike you, who’s enjoying the shade and having fun here with adorable kids,” Connor teased. He recently discovered that playful banter was a pretty effective way of steering conversations away from Kevin’s less than cheery thoughts.

“Yeah? You think you can do it too?” Kevin smirked.

Connor scoffed, “How hard can it be?”

“Great!” Kevin shrugged, “You can take over my classes for tomorrow, I have to go see Gotswana.”

“What? Why? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m just getting my stitches removed.”

“Oh,” Connor’s forehead creased, “Shouldn’t we go back to the hospital for that?”

“Why the hell would I do that? Gotswana is only three minutes away, but the hospital is three hours away,” Kevin looked at Connor incredulously.

“I don’t know? They have machines that can do scans and stuff to make sure everything’s healed up on the inside?”

“If anything was wrong, we’d have known by now,” Kevin dismissed him with an eye-roll, “So that’s settled then? You’ll take over my classes for tomorrow?”

“No, no,” Connor was aghast at the idea of being responsible for ten knee-high human beings, “I’ll go with you to the clinic.”

“There’s no need-,” Kevin thought that Connor was just being a worrywart.

“No, no, you can’t leave me here with the kids!” Connor admitted, “I’m very bad with kids.”

“But you just said-”

“I said ‘How hard can it be’, doesn’t mean that I can do it too.”

“Actually, that’s what the phrase-”

“No, Kevin! I can’t do it!” Connor felt panicked at the mere thought of it.

He still remembered that time he almost dropped his baby cousin into the sea while they were on a boat.

Kevin chuckled, “Oh well, now I really do want to watch you flounder,” Kevin waved at Connor’s expression, “Fine, I’ll just get someone else to do it.”

“Thank goodness,” Connor blew out a breath.

“Hey, one more thing,” Kevin pursed his lips, "Did you lay into Arnold this morning? When he came back to the hut?”

Connor didn’t think that he was being very harsh when he spoke to Arnold, “No, not really. Why, did you want me to?”

“No, no,” Kevin looked puzzled, “It was strange. He said that he was never ever going to do that ever again, and I quote ‘Not even if Nabu invites me over for a Star Wars marathon’. I thought you managed to put the fear of McKinley in him.”

Connor knew it was more the fear of letting Kevin down again than anything else, but Kevin didn’t need to know that.

“Oh please, I don’t lead by fear,” Connor puffed his chest, “I lead by respect.”

Connor’s heart swelled and he was filled with a sense of accomplishment when Kevin was bent over with tears in his eyes from laughing too hard.

He wants to be the person who makes Kevin laugh like that every single day.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Are you trying to bore him to death? There are like 50 slides in this Powerpoint presentation,” Kevin looked up from scrolling at Connor’s computer, “Hey, you know, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe your tutor gets to inherit his fortune, and she’ll give it to us anyway.”

“Kevin!” Connor paused in chopping the carrot.

“I’m just saying.”

“Carrot stick?” Connor offered.

Kevin took one and was about to put it in his mouth when he stopped, “Wait. Did you wash this?”

“I already peeled the muddy skin off?”

“Ugh, gross. I’m gonna go work on this in my room so I don’t have to watch you give us food poisoning,” Kevin dropped the carrot back onto the chopping board.

Connor frowned as he continued chopping the vegetables. Nobody ever got sick from his cooking, he didn’t think?

“Sorry I took so long!” Arnold panted as he stumbled into the kitchen. He was supposed to be helping Connor with dinner today.

“And why might that be?”

“Sorry! There was…there was a traffic jam!” Arnold blurted out.

Connor couldn’t believe his ears. He just stared blankly at Arnold.

“Sorry,” Arnold smiled awkwardly, “I- Old habits die hard, you know? I was with Nabu,” Connor was about to say something, “But! Don’t worry, we didn’t do anything.”

“You don’t have to tell me that every time, Elder Cunningham. I trust that you’ll make the right decisions,” Connor handed him stack of dirty bowls, “But lying is still wrong, Mormon or not.”

Arnold nodded and filled the sink with water. He then carelessly threw the whole stack of bowls into it, splashing soap water everywhere.

“Hey!” Connor warned.

“What? The bowls are made of metal, they won’t break.”

Why did Connor even bother?

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Kevin helped him to do up his tie, despite Connor’s protests that he knew how to do it. He was a Mormon missionary for gosh sake.

“Dashing,” Kevin pat on Connor’s chest, “Now that you look presentable, go get some money for us!”

Connor straightened his dress shirt, “What? No good luck kiss?”

“With my kind of luck, I think we’d better not jinx it.”

Connor pressed a quick kiss onto Kevin’s lips despite that, “You should go to bed, it’s late.”

“What are you-,” Both Connor and Kevin turned around abruptly at Elder Church’s intrusion.

Elder Church looked up and down at Connor, who was fully dressed in his missionary uniform at eleven o’clock at night. He must have thought-

“This is not a role-playing thing is it? No, wait! Don’t say anything, I don’t want to know. Please let me through!” Elder Church tried to squeeze pass the two of them in the narrow hallway in his haste to escape.

“No, that’s not what-“

“Oh god, no! No! No, I don’t want to know!”


	26. Chapter 26

“How did it go?” Kevin was there when Connor came out of his office. It was really just a supply closet with a table, chair and some shelving squeezed into it.

“Did you stand here for the whole two hours? Listening in?” Connor wrapped his arms tightly around Kevin’s waist and rested his chin on Kevin’s shoulder.

It was late, and he was so incredibly tired. Furthermore, it has been so long since he wore his uniform, he had forgotten how uncomfortable and suffocating it was.

“No, I was sitting on the floor,” Kevin put his own arms around Connor, “So?”

“Good, I guess? He’s nice, but I can’t really tell what he thinks about us. Good thing is that he’s not a Mormon, so there’s that,” Connor sighed, “He still has to think about it and he’ll let us know.”

“At least we’ve tried, right?” Kevin yawned.

“Yeah,” Connor unwrapped his arms around Kevin, “C’mon, it’s way past your bedtime.”

“I’m not a child,” Kevin threw a disgruntled look at Connor, but dragged himself towards the direction of his room nonetheless, “Goodnight, Connor.”

“Goodnight, Kev,” Connor waited for Kevin to disappear into his room before he returned to his office.

He pulled his tie off over his head and threw it onto his chair.

‘At least they’ve tried’ was not going to be a good enough consolation for Connor if this fell through. A failure is still a failure, no matter how hard he had worked. Nobody gets the Nobel prize just for trying.

Connor jumped when the Skype ringing tone suddenly filled the small space. Was Mr Greene calling him back?

“Mom?” Connor clicked on the ‘answer’ button, and the pixelated image of his mother came up on the screen.

“Hey, mom. What’s up?” Connor squinted at the background, “Are you in the car? You’d better not be driving and using your phone at the same time.”

“Oh it’s so good to see you, honey!” His mother laughed, “No silly, of course not. I’m already in the driveway. Why are you up so late? It’s got to be one a.m. in Uganda.”

“Nah, it’s nothing, I was busy working on something,” Connor dismissed her concerns with a wave.

“Have you been taking care of yourself? I hope you aren’t working till late every night, Connor. How are things in Uganda? How's Kevin?”

“Uhh, yeah. Everything’s okay. Kevin's doing better,” Connor hadn’t really given much thought about how he was going to come out to his parents. It wasn’t high on his list of priorities, since Connor assumed that he was going to still be in Uganda for another 18 months. But now that they might have to return to America soon, maybe he should start working on it.

“I have something to tell you, Con.”

His mother got out of the car and went inside their house in Salt Lake City.

Connor frowned, “Why…why is everything in boxes?”

“We’re moving. Your dad’s got a new job in London!” She grinned, “Isn’t this exciting?”

“What?! Why? What’s wrong with the job he has now?”

Connor didn’t want to go to London.

Once upon a time, he would have been thrilled. Connor had always wanted to live in a foreign country, that was one of the reasons why he signed up to be a Mormon missionary. London wasn’t New York, but it still had the West End, and great theatre schools.

But London doesn’t have Kevin Price. Kevin would be back in America, either with Arnold in Utah, or at Harvard in Boston, thousands of miles away.

“We figured that we need a new start, after everything,” she explained.

“And a whole new continent is the way to go?”

Her smile faded, “What’s the matter? Do you not want to live in London, hon?"

“I- I don’t know,” Connor scrubbed his face tiredly, “It’s just a bit of a shock, you know? Suddenly finding out that we’ll be living in a whole new country. And you’re okay with this? With leaving everything and everyone you know behind? Just like that?”

“Well, that is a part of starting anew, isn’t it? I’m sure we’ll get by fine.”

“You don’t know that,” Connor murmured under his breath.

His mother continued to talk, but Connor wasn’t listening.

Did this mean that he may never see Kevin ever again, if they left Uganda for home?

“I- I need to go, mom. I’m beat.”

“Take some time to think about it, Con. I’ll talk to you soon. Goodnight, hon. I love you.”

“Yeah, love you too.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Come morning, Connor had already thought about it plenty. There were only two options which Connor found viable: Either Connor stays in America, or Kevin comes with him to London. There was also the whole other problem about what if his parents said no, or what if Kevin said no, but Connor had fallen asleep before he had the time to worry about that.

“Out with it,” Kevin suddenly piped up while they were waiting for their turn at the clinic.

Connor wasn’t aware he had done anything wrong, “What are you talking about?”

Kevin looked up from observing the big bug crawling on his shoes, “You clearly have something on your mind from the moment you woke up. So what is it?”

Connor tested the waters, “What do you think about studying abroad after our mission, say I don’t know, in London? They have really good medical schools over in Britain too, right?”

“I think that’s a great idea!” Kevin snapped his fingers, “Let me phone my parents and ask them for a couple hundred thousand dollars. Oh, wait! I can’t.”

Connor hated it when Kevin was being sarcastic like that. He exposes the flaws in Connor’s ideas by throwing them straight in Connor’s face.

“What if money was not an issue?”

“Money will always be the issue, Connor,” Kevin sighed, “I have nothing to my name, except the five hundred bucks I still have back at the hut.”

Connor didn’t think that Kevin’s parents would be that cruel, would they? Were they going to just wash their hands off Kevin forever?

“But you’re really smart! You could get a scholarship anywhere, and of course you could stay with me if you wa-,” Connor clamped his mouth shut immediately.

Kevin raised his eyebrows, “Stay with you? In London? What are you trying to tell me?”

“Uhhh,” Connor might as well drop the act, “My parents, they’re moving to London. For my dad’s new job.”

“And you’re going too?” Kevin’s voice had a panicked edge to it.

Connor knew he was expected to follow his parents to London. His mother had implied that much.

“I don’t know yet,” Connor seemed to be saying that a lot lately, “But I was being serious about what I said earlier. You could come along and live with us, it could work, right?”

“I’m not some abandoned puppy you found at the shelter, Connor,” Kevin flicked the bug off his shoe.

“I know,” Connor sighed, “I’m sorry.”

Connor could probably persuade his parents to let him stay in America. But they’ve already given up so much for Connor, he really didn’t want to disappoint them again.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Really?!” Connor almost fell out of his seat.

Kevin held up a finger, “I didn’t say that I’m coming with you. I just said I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask,” Connor couldn’t stop grinning. This WAS exciting. He was going to be living in London! With Kevin! His parents had to say yes, right?

“You ask a lot, Connor McKinley.”

“I do, I do. I know I do,” Connor grabbed Kevin’s hand, “I love you so much.”

Kevin shrugged, “To be honest, I don’t know if I can bring myself to go back to Utah, lest stay with Arnold. The Cunninghams live right down the street from my house, you know?”

Connor squeezed Kevin’s hand, “We’ll figure this out.”

“Elder Price!” Gotswana yelled from inside the hut.

Kevin stood up, “I’d better go, before he bumps us off the queue and we have to wait another hour.”

Connor wanted to grab Kevin’s face and give him a kiss. He was so thrilled! Of course, he knew better than to do that in public, in Uganda of all places. He loves Uganda, don’t get him wrong, but the constant awareness of having to watch how they behaved in public was exhausting at times. It was unfair.

Even though he wished to stay in Uganda to continue their work, Connor couldn’t wait to go to London.

Now, all that was left was to come out to his parents. Easy peasy, right?


	27. Chapter 27

Poptarts let out a loud sigh, “I’m going to miss you so much, Connor,” when Connor told him about his family’s plan to emigrate.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” Connor flicked his paint-loaded brush onto the wall of the classroom they were trying to paint. Poptarts was going to be fine, his family was loaded. He could fly to London and visit Connor whenever he liked.

Connor turned to Kevin, who was sitting in a corner mixing two colours in a bucket, “Kev, look! I’m such an artist. I could be like the new Jackson Pollock!”

Kevin was unimpressed, “Oh yeah, I’m sure Kizza and Kalimba will be thrilled to have blue paint splattered on their wall like some grisly scene of a Smurf murder. Don’t waste the paint, will you? Do you know how hard it is to get the same shade again?”

The Elders were still treading lightly around Kevin, treating him extra nicely. It was making him uneasy. And when Kevin is uncomfortable, he’s irritable.

“You’re just jealous of my talent,” Connor teased, trying to lighten Kevin’s mood.

Kevin narrowed his eyes at Connor and stuck out his tongue. What a child.

That reminded Connor of something, “Hey, did I tell you guys? They put Kevin in the paeds ward when we were at the hospital.”

Elder Church burst out laughing at once, Poptarts followed soon after.

Elder Michaels raised his eyebrows, “Was it intentional or did they run out of beds?”

Kevin scoffed, “Yeah well, I wasn’t the one who almost cried when he tripped a nurse and made her spill medicine all over the floor.”

Poptarts looked at Connor in disbelief, “You did what?!”

“It was an accident,” Connor lowered his head, still feeling embarrassed by the memory.

“I think both of you belong in the children’s ward,” Elder Church mused as he painted long strokes of blue on the wall.

He accidentally covered a doodle which Elder Michaels was making with his brush. Elder Michaels gasped and punched his companion in the arm, “James! My dog!”

“Ouch!” Elder Church complained, “Maybe you belong to the children’s ward too. We need to paint over it sooner or later.”

“But I spent like ten minutes on that!”

“Ugh, fine. Go draw another one in that corner,” Elder Church pointed to an unpainted spot.

Connor smiled fondly at the exchange. It was moments like this which made him feel like all the hard work they had put in was well worth the effort. Everyone had grown so much over the past few months, Connor felt like a proud parent.

Poptarts suddenly had an idea, “Maybe we could paint some pictures on the wall? Like numbers or alphabets!”

“Are you suggesting more work?” Elder Church groaned, “Okay I guess it’s a pretty good idea. But I can’t draw for shit. And Michaels’ dog looks like a pile of dead leaves so who’s going to do it?”

“What did you say about my Yeti?!” Elder Michaels shrieked.

Kevin’s quiet voice cuts through the room, “My mom used to teach me how to do acrylic painting.”

Nobody knew how to respond, or if they should even speak at all. Kevin was still intently mixing the paint in his corner.

All three other Elders had stopped painting to stare pointedly at Connor, as if he was the only one who knew what to do. He probably was. Kevin hated it when the Elders treated him with kid gloves, so Connor wasn’t going to.

Connor cleared his throat, “You can do it then, Kevin.”

“Hmm?” Kevin looked up from the bucket, “Sure. I’ll come up with something.”

“Look at that, Price to the rescue,” Elder Church laughed, part relieved and part mocking.

Connor was thankful that Elder Church had reverted back to his snarky self with Kevin, who shot Elder Church a withering glare.

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was walking back to the mission hut, when he heard someone call his name from behind him.

“Elder McKinley. Hey.”

Connor turned around, “Elder Davis,” and greeted him with a nod, “Where’s Elder Neely?”

“Ah, he uh is meeting up with someone from the village.”

Connor could hear the implication in Elder Davis’ tone, “Like a date? Who is it?”

“Middala’s daughter, Maua. He’s been crushing on her ever since we stepped foot in Uganda."

“How are you doing?” Connor realised that he hadn’t really talked to Elder Davis since Sunday morning.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Elder Davis pursed his lips, “I think that it’s best if I returned to the US.”

Should Connor be asking Elder Davis to stay? But who was he to do that?

“But we shouldn’t leave our companions alone,” Connor cringed at the stupid that slipped out of his mouth.

“We’re not Mormon missionaries anymore,” Elder Davis raised an eyebrow, “I’ve already talked about it with Neels. He understands that it’s what I need to do.”

“Are you leaving because of me?” Connor had to ask.

Elder Davis just shrugged and smiled sadly, “Well anyway, I just wanted to let you know, before I announce it to the rest of the group.”

Connor grabbed his arm when Elder Davis started to walk away, “When?”

“My parents bought me a ticket for next Wednesday. This will be my last week in Uganda,” Elder Davis’ eyes glistened.

“I’m sorry,” Connor found himself apologising even though-

“It’s not your fault, Elder McKinley. Connor,” Elder Davis shook his head, “I wished things are different, but I don’t regret coming here, or meeting you. I wouldn’t trade Uganda for anywhere else in the world. But this is for the best.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Connor put a hand on his shoulder.

Connor was a little envious at how Elder Davis could decide to leave, just like that. It wasn’t as though Connor was held here against his will, but he had never allowed himself to even consider leaving or transferring. Mostly because Connor was the leader of the district, and he was way too responsible to even entertain the thought of abandoning his Elders.

Sometimes though, he hated how he never really had the courage to stand up for himself, and fight for his own happiness, unlike Kevin or Davis. He hated how he was always waiting for someone else to make the move, because he was too cowardly to do so.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor took back what he said about being glad that Elder Church was being snarky to Kevin again. Now, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“Shut up, Church!” Kevin snarled.

“Shut up, Price! Just because your parents are assholes, doesn’t mean that you get a free pass to take it out on all of us!”

As soon as that left his mouth, the whole room fell silent.

Connor found himself having to physically hold Kevin back.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Kevin tried to dislodge Connor’s hand on his shoulder.

Someone gasped, “Oh no.”

“Guys,” Connor sighed.

Elder Church stepped forward, “I said-”

“Woah hey,” Elder Michaels stopped his companion, “Everyone heard what you said, there’s no need to repeat it again.”

“Alright, the two of you need to go cool off in your rooms,” Poptarts held onto Elder Church’s arm, “C’mon, Church.”

Connor gave Poptarts a grateful nod, as he started to lead Elder Church away from Kevin. Connor knew his shouldn’t get involved in this, even though he was supposed to be the one in charge. Anything he said would just be used by the both of them as ammunition for the fight.

Elder Church scoffed, “Typical of you guys to take his side.”

“We’re on nobody’s side. Just keep walking,” Poptarts pulled harder.

Kevin yelled after them, “I don’t need all of your fucking pity!”

“Hey that’s great!” Elder Church wasn’t done yet, “I’ll save it for myself, for having to be stuck here with your sorry ass. Yo Davis, aren’t you glad that you’re leaving?”

“Don’t bring me into this!” Elder Davis looked horrified.

Connor didn’t fail to notice how all the other Elders followed after Elder Church, and left him to deal with Kevin all by himself.

Kevin glared at Connor, “Let go of me.”

Connor took his hands off Kevin. He had no idea how a game of Uno led them to where they were right now. No really, he didn’t.

At least Arnold wasn’t here to make things worse by fighting alongside Kevin.

“Kev no,” Connor sighed when Kevin headed to the main door instead of his bedroom.

Connor followed him out into the humid night, “Where are you going?”

“See! This is what happens when you force me to play with them,” Kevin huffed as he stomped away from the hut.

“Are you saying that this is my fault?!”

If Kevin’s mission was to get everyone mad at him tonight, he was doing an excellent job of it. Maybe leaving Kevin be and letting him bottle his feelings up was a bad idea. Connor should have known that Kevin was due for a meltdown.

They walked further and further away from the hut, into the darkness. Neither of them were carrying a flashlight.

“Kevin, we’re going too far, let’s go back before we get lost, huh?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Look, you’re putting us both in danger.”

They weren’t even on the dirt path anymore. Connor hoped that he still remembered which direction they had come from by the time Kevin decided turn back.

“Nobody asked you to come.”

Connor took a deep breath to calm himself down. He didn’t want to get mad and say something that he’ll regret later. But Kevin’s childish behaviour was making it very difficult.

“Kevin, stop,” Connor frowned. Was that rumbling that he heard?

The rustling of the grass underneath their feet was too loud for Connor to discern the sound. Connor looked around, the thick trees around them obscuring whatever it was he had heard.

What was that low growl-

Wait a minute.

Connor stopped in his tracks and hissed, “Kevin Price, STOP WALKING!”

The urgency in Connor’s voice must have gotten through to Kevin, because everything fell silent, except for the ever-present chirping of the insects, and the menacing growling noise to Connor’s right.

Kevin was a few feet in front of him, partially illuminated by the moonlight. He was about to say something, when Connor gestured for him to keep his mouth shut.

“Lion,” Connor mouthed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just a little curious, without any context of how the fight started, whose side did you take? ;)


	28. Chapter 28

This was stupid. This was so, so stupid.

He wanted to be angry at Kevin for dragging them into this mess, but now Connor was just plain terrified.

Connor could almost see the headlines. What a tragedy, people would say in passing and then continue on with their day as if nothing had happened.

What would Kevin’s parent think? Would they regret everything they’ve said to Kevin?

What would HIS parents think? Would they still go to London?

Oh gosh, London! He was was so looking forward to London. He couldn’t die now? He still had a whole lot of life ahead of him. West End was waiting for him, there were still so many musicals he hasn’t gotten the chance to see yet. There were still so many things he wanted to experience, so many things he wanted to do.

So many things he wanted to do with Kevin.

Kevin, who was standing out of his reach as neither of them dared to move a muscle. It made Connor feel very exposed. He needed to hold onto Kevin, even though he should be mad at him right now.

At least they were far apart enough that if the lion pounced on either of them, the other would have a chance to escape. Was it going to be a painful death? Who was he kidding, of course it was going to be painful. Connor couldn’t decide which is worse, getting mauled by a lion or watching Kevin get mauled by a lion. Both were bad, very bad.

Was it gone?

Connor couldn’t hear growling anymore.

Oh gosh, what if it was silently hunting them?

Connor turned his head around, half expecting to find the large cat on its belly, trying to sneak up on its prey.

They were prey, weren’t they?

Connor had never thought of himself as prey before.

But that was exactly what they were right now, pathetically easy prey, at complete mercy of the lion. Or lioness, Connor learnt in his biology lessons that the females were the ones who do most of the hunting for the herd. And the herd has a pecking order which-

“Connor!” Kevin whispered.

Why the fudge was Kevin talking right now? Didn’t he know that they had to keep quiet?

Well, to think of it, Connor guessed it doesn’t matter either way, does it? It could probably smell them, or see them in the dark, because it has excellent night vision.

And Connor was sure that the loud thudding of his heart in his chest was enough to give their position away.

“I think it’s gone,” Kevin tried to take a step forward.

“Noooo!” Connor shook his head fervently.

This was where Kevin was going to loudly step on a twig and the lioness will come pouncing on him from out of the shadows.

Gosh, Connor needed to stop watching horror movies. It was screwing with his head.

“I think it’s gone,” Kevin repeated louder, and he was suddenly in front of Connor.

When did he move so fast?

Connor wanted to say something but it came out as a squeak. Why doesn’t his throat work?

Connor flinched when Kevin wrapped his hands tightly around him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kevin repeated like a mantra just beside Connor’s ear.

Connor sniffed. Wait, why was he crying? When the heck did he start crying?

“Are we dead?”

Kevin chuckled lightly, “No. No, we’re not.”

Connor hadn’t noticed how stiff he had gotten. He concentrated on relaxing his body muscle by muscle. Connor blew out a long breath, “Let’s do this again never, alright?” He moved his arms up to embrace Kevin, “My poor heart can’t take any more of this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Let’s go back,” Connor was suddenly drained of energy, “If we can find our way back to the hut, that is.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” Connor gave Kevin a quick kiss on his head, “Come on.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The mood at the breakfast table was frosty. Even Arnold, who would usually chatter loudly while he chews, picked up on the cue to slurp at his oatmeal as quietly as possible. The occasional clanking of the spoons against the metal bowls punctuated the silence.

Connor was about to do something ill-advised, and to quote Poptarts: ‘was going to blow up spectecularly in his face’. But he couldn’t have his Elders be at each other’s throats all the time. Kevin and Church would have to learn to be nice to each other, because they’re making everyone else uncomfortable and bringing the morale of the group down.

Connor cleared his throat loudly, and seven pairs of eyes focused on him at once.

“There’ll be some changes to the chore board for the week,” Connor announced. It’s too late to turn back now, “As you guys know, Elder Davis will be leaving us in a few days, and I’ll have to do some reshuffling of chore groups. Besides, the school building is almost finished, so we don’t need everyone to be working on that right now.”

Connor took a breath and looked over to Poptarts, who muttered, "It’s your funeral."

“From today onwards, Elder Davis, Elder Neely, and Elder Michaels, you three will be helping out at Gotswana’s clinic and the village. Elder Cunningham and Elder Thomas will be helping out at the school.”

Both Elder Church and Kevin probably already knew what was up next, from the glares that Connor could feel boring holes right into his soul.

“Elder Church and Elder Price will be finishing up on painting the interior of the school building,” Connor sat back and waited for the backlash.

“I already told you I can’t paint for shit!” Elder Church dropped his spoon unceremoniously onto the table.

Kevin’s voice was quiet, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Oh, boy.

All the other Elders, except for Poptarts, were gaping at Connor in disbelief.

“Yes I know, Elder Church, just take this as an opportunity to learn how to paint, from Elder Price,” Connor congratulated himself for not stammering under the unwavering death stares.

“No, thanks,” Elder Church snorted.

“This is not a negotiation,” Connor stood up and brought his empty bowl to the sink, effectively ending the conversation. Or so he hoped.

Kevin let out a long suffering sigh, “Fine.”

Connor almost did a victory dance. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

“But you’re coming with us,” Kevin shoved his dirty bowl into Connor’s hands and sauntered out of the kitchen.

“Elder Church?” Connor asked.

The disgruntled Elder shrugged, “You’re the leader, you call the shots.”

“Great! Let’s all get to work, shall we?”

Arnold snickered, “Good luck to you, Elder McKinley.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The good thing was, they weren’t fighting with each other.

But they weren’t talking to each other at all either.

Connor was impressed at how they were getting their work done without so much as a word between them.

Kevin was drawing the outline of their village, and Elder Church was helping to fill the little huts in with colour. For a guy who claimed to not know how to paint, he sure was doing a pretty decent job of it.

“So you do know how to paint,” Connor commented.

Elder Church rolled his eyes, “How hard can it be? It’s just colouring.”

“Well, maybe Kevin can teach you how to do some shading with the paint huh? It’ll look less…I don’t know, flat?”

Kevin paused in his painting, “Well, KEVIN is going to do it himself. After he’s finished with the outlining.”

“You hear that?” Elder Church looked at Connor, “KEVIN is going to do it himself.”

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose, “This is ridiculous guys. Can we just talk this out? Maybe then you two can stop acting like a couple of five year olds.”

Elder Church smirked, “Well well McKinley, are you giving me the chance to trash Price right in his face?”

Connor reckoned that this was as good a time as any to put what he had learnt in his conflict resolution class during his district leader training to good use. If he didn’t do something now, the both of them were going to end in a physical fight someday, and someone was going to get hurt.

“Alright, drop your brushes, the both of you,” Connor ordered, “Drop it, Kevin, I’m serious. We’re gonna have a chat.”

Connor gestured for them to sit in the center of the empty classroom.

“An intervention, really?” Elder Church groaned, but obeyed Connor’s instructions.

“Kevin.”

“Fine, fine,” Kevin reluctantly stopped painting and joined the two of them on the floor.

Connor smiled widely, “Let us start by talking about our first impressions of each other shall we? James, what did you think of Kevin when you first met him?”

Elder Church shrugged, “I don’t know? I mean, with all the talk, I thought he was going to be the one to turn things around.”

Connor was surprised that Elder Church was taking this seriously, “Okay! Okay, that’s a great start! Now Kevin, what did you think of James when you first met him?”

“I don’t remember.”

Connor sighed, “C’mon Kevin, it’s only been what? Two months? And I know for a fact that you have a really good memory.”

“He’s okay, I guess? Wasn’t really focused on making friends when I first arrived,” Kevin stared at his shoe, “And with everything that was happening, I was kinda overwhelmed.”

Connor squeezed his knee in encouragement, “Okay, how do you feel about each other now? I’m talking about feelings, are you angry at each other?”

“I don’t like this question.”

“Humour me, Kev.”

Elder Church frowned in concentration, “Umm, I guess I’m not anything?” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration, “I’m shit at feelings, and I've told you that too, McKinley!”

Connor nodded, “Kevin?”

“I’m not angry. Not now, anyway,” he continued to talk to his shoe.

“But the both of you get angry at each other sometimes. Why?”

Kevin huffed, “You know why.”

“You think that James hate you,” Connor decided to lay this to rest once and for all, “Do you hate Kevin, James?”

Connor really hoped that he was right about this. This could go really right, or really wrong. Please say no?

Elder Church was clearly taken aback, “You think that I hate you?”

Kevin finally lifted his gaze, “Do you?”

“I mean, hate is such a strong word don’t you think?” Elder Church laughed awkwardly, “I never said I hated you, Price.”

“You don’t need to.”

“What?”

“You don’t need to say it, I can tell that you do.”

Elder Church frowned, “Well, like I said, I don’t hate you. Just because I don’t treat you like the second coming of Christ doesn’t mean that I hate you, alright? Surely you can’t expect everyone to be kissing your ass all the damn time, do you?” He smacked himself in the forehead with his hand, “I forgot who I am talking to. Of course, you do.”

“No, I don’t,” Kevin mumbled as he went back to staring at his shoe.

“Case in point,” Elder Church spread his arms out, “Look Price, I grew up with a deadbeat dad, and this is just how I am. It’s my defence mechanism or whatever, so my counsellor said. Just...I don’t hate you alright? Not any more than I hate McKinley here.”

“Oh.”

Connor clasped his hands together, “See? All we needed was to hash it out!”

Elder Church started to back away from the two of them, “I think that’s enough hashing to last us for a year. If you don’t mind, McKinley, I’m just gonna get back to work.”

Connor put his hands on Kevin’s knee, “What did I tell you?”

“You’re a jerk,” Kevin said with no real heat behind his words.

Connor smiled, “Yes, but I’m your jerk.”

Elder Church groaned, “Oh god, I’m still here you guys.”


	29. Chapter 29

The lake sparkled under the late afternoon sun. After a failed attempt, which lasted three hours, of teaching Elder Church how to do shading and blending with his paintbrush, Kevin had enough and they decided to call it a day. More than happy to oblige, Elder Church returned to the mission hut to start on dinner, while Connor and Kevin took a stroll to the lake.

Kevin was back in his shirtless ways, due to the hot weather, not that Connor was complaining at all. Connor was sitting beside Kevin on the rocky outcrop, who was laid on his back and basking in the golden sunlight.

Kevin was not wearing the bandage on his side anymore, and with the stitches removed, he now has steri-strips across the thin red line.

“It’s smaller than I thought,” Connor frowned, “I mean for all the pain it caused you.”

Kevin rolled his head over to look at Connor, “Are you implying that I’m a wimp?”

“I don’t know, are you?” Connor gave Kevin a playful smirk.

“Oh fuck off,” Kevin punched Connor in his knee.

“Ow,” Connor rubbed at his knee, “At least it won’t be leaving too big of a scar, right?”

“Why, do you not accept damaged goods, Connor McKinley?”

“Maybe. Where can I get a refund?”

“Oh Connor, if you think that this is the only scar I have, you’re going to be very disappointed,” Kevin laughed.

“Really?”

Connor didn’t have a lot of scars on his own body. He was never an adventurous kid. He never dared to climb trees or do wheelies on his bike, hence the lack of broken bones and scars. The only scar he had was on his forearm. He was scratched by a very angry cat once, when he volunteered at the local animal shelter.

“I was in the track and field team in high school, what did you expect?”

“You were supposed to be running, not falling down?” Connor teased.

“What can I say? I’m very competitive.”

“Or maybe you’re not just not very good at it.”

Kevin pushed himself up onto his elbows, “Are you trying to prove a point?”

Connor was caught off guard, “What are you talking about?”

Kevin studied Connor for a moment, before laying back down, “Forget it.”

Connor wanted to forget it, because from Kevin’s tone, it seemed like they were heading into yet another argument.

“What is it?” Connor asked nevertheless.

“I said forget it.”

The last time Connor let Kevin bottle his feelings up, they nearly ended up as cat food.

“And I said what’s troubling you?” Connor laid down beside Kevin. He didn’t want to start a fight, he merely wanted to help.

Kevin took a deep breath, “I don’t need to have my ass kissed at every turn alright? I don’t care what people think. I don’t! I really don’t,” even Kevin didn’t look that convinced himself, “But I also don’t appreciate getting insulted either.”

“I was just-,” Connor should go get lessons on how to flirt better, huh?

Kevin took Connor’s hand, “I know, I know. That’s why I told you to forget about it. I’m just over-reacting,” he sighed, “But you can never let anything go, can you?”

Connor gave a kiss to Kevin’s temple, “Never.”

Kevin was a conundrum. How could someone who holds himself at such high esteem be so insecure at the same time? With every conversation Connor had with Kevin, he was peeling away the layers to uncover what was underneath. Of course, it wasn’t easy, it was more like pulling teeth than peeling the skin off onions. Fortunately for Connor, patience was one of his strong suits.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“You know what, bud?” Arnold nearly jumped up from the couch the three of them were splayed on.

“What?” Kevin asked without sparing a glance at Arnold.

Arnold was unable to contain his excitement, and he started slapping Connor and Kevin on their arms, “We should have a double date! Yes! We should totally do that!”

“Ow ow ow,” the both of them tried to shy away.

Arnold was undeterred, “You and McKinley, me and Nabu. Sorry Poptarts, once you’ve gotten yourself a girlfriend, then we can go on a triple date.”

“I’d rather not,” Poptarts droned from his position on the floor.

“Nabu and I,” Kevin corrected Arnold, and glanced at Connor, “I guess we could?”

Connor shrugged, “Sure. I don’t see why not.”

“Awesome!” Arnold cheered, “We’ll go tomorrow!”

“Whoa, whoa! Hold up,” Connor held up a hand, “It’s only the middle of the week. We still have work to do tomorrow.”

“You can give us a day off!”

Connor frowned, “I can’t do that Arnold, it wouldn’t be fair to the other Elders.”

“Then give them a day off too!” Arnold grinned.

“Yeah Connor, give us a day off too,” Poptarts begged, “I want to lie in bed all day and not move an inch. I think I deserved it after chasing after the kids and Cunningham all day.”

Connor was not sure if they were being serious, “We can’t just take days off whenever we like? We’ve got work to do.”

“Why not?” Kevin added, “It’s not like we’re on a job or anything. Even normal employees get vacation days. Nobody’s going to say no to a day off. Well, maybe except for you, Mr Workaholic. Are you actually going to say no?”

Connor felt like he was being ganged up against. If he said yes this time, who was to say they wouldn’t try to weasel their way out of work next time?

“I don’t know,” Connor weighed his options.

Arnold grabbed onto Connor’s arm, and shot him a silent pleading look. It was the same look he used on Kevin when he wanted to stay the night at Nabulungi’s.

“Just this once?” Connor checked.

“Uhhhh,” Arnold clearly wanted to make this a regular occurrence, "Yeah?"

“Yes! Yes, I’ll take whatever I can get right now,” Poptarts agreed, “Whoever thought that a two-day weekend was enough?”

Connor pursed his lips, he was probably going to regret this, “Okay, one day.”

Arnold pumped his fists in the air, “You’re the best, McKinley!”

“Hey!” Kevin pouted, “I thought I was the best.”

Arnold grinned, “Oh of course you are, Kev. McKinley’s the best out of everyone else who’s not you.”

"Aww, how very kind of you,” Connor raised his eyebrow, “So, what’s the plan?”

“Sleep,” Poptarts piped up.

Arnold’s eyes brightened, “Oh, oh! You guys are going to love this! Nabu is going to bring us to see her secret garden.”

Kevin chuckled, “Are you sure it’s for us all and not for you alone?”

“What? Why would it be?” Arnold looked confused.

“Oh Arn,” Kevin shook his head.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Kevin Price,” Connor laughed.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Are we there yet?” Kevin panted as they continued the uphill trek, like they had been doing for the past two hours.

Connor realised that they would have to go back down after this, and he wasn’t sure if his jellied legs would be able to support him on his downhill trek. Arnold and Nabulungi were nowhere to be seen. Arnold had started falling behind fairly early on, and Nabulungi had told them to go ahead first.

“Maybe we should wait here for Nabulungi and Arnold,” Connor downed a big gulp of disgustingly warm water.

Connor didn’t think that they were lost, since there had only been one path ahead of them. They kept to the marked path religiously, unwilling to risk a repeat performance of their lion encounter. But the hill itself didn’t look like it was that tall from their starting point on the ground. They should have reached the top by now, if not, an hour ago, judging by the relentless pace they were going at. Because according to Kevin, the faster they climbed, the less tiring it would be. 

They couldn’t even find a good vintage point to check where they were, as the path was bordered by thick lines of tall trees.

Kevin coughed and doubled over with his hands on his knees.

“Are you alright?” Connor walked over to Kevin.

Kevin grimaced, “Got a stitch on my side.”

Connor pointed to a small boulder by the side of the path, “Let’s sit here to wait for them.”

“Okay, but what if we are somehow lost? We’ll be waiting for forever and they still wouldn’t find us here,” Kevin was making Connor nervous, “Maybe we should turn back.”

“We can’t be lost? There was no other way to go.”

“I don’t know, maybe Nabulungi calls it a secret garden because it’s off the path,” Kevin gestured as he sat down on the boulder.

“How are we going to find them then?” Connor sighed, “What we need are phones!”

Connor could think of a dozen other sticky situations the Elders had encountered in the past couple of weeks, which could have easily been prevented if they had their phones with them.

“You’re telling me.”

Connor tilted his head up to the sky, “What do you want to do now?”

Kevin held up a finger, “Gimme a minute.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Connor swept Kevin’s sweaty bangs off his forehead.

Kevin winced and nodded, “My stamina’s all shot.”

“Here, hydration time,” Connor handed his bottle over.

“There you two are!”

Connor and Kevin both jumped at the voice.

“Nabulungi!” Connor frowned. How did she get ahead of them?

“What took you guys so long?” Nabulungi looked amused.

Kevin narrowed his eyes at Nabulungi, “There’s a shortcut.”

Nabulungi shrugged, “Come, we’ve been waiting for so long, we thought that you two were eaten by lions.”

Connor was too exhausted to even be mad at Nabulungi, “Lead the way, I guess.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The garden was well worth the effort. It was only three minutes away from where Connor and Kevin had stopped, and like Kevin said, was off the marked path. They later learnt that the path would actually lead them to a cave instead of the impressive flower field on the top of the hill. Naturally, Kevin got very excited about that. Connor on the other hand, was not as enthusiastic about entering a dark hole filled with bat droppings and who knows what else. 

“You know, it’s creepy to stare while someone's asleep,” Arnold commented mid-chew, carrot stick dangling from his mouth.

Connor tore his gaze away from Kevin, who had dozed off while laid across Connor’s lap, in the middle of the vast, colourful field.

“Leave him alone, Arnold,” Nabulungi laughed, “I’d stare at Elder Price too.”

Arnold thought about it for a moment before nodding, “Oh yeah, I get what you mean.”

“Okaaaay, enough of this,” Connor stopped it before things got real weird, "Don't talk while you chew."

Nabulungi wiggled her eyebrows, “Tell me, Elder McKinley, have you and Elder Price done it yet?”

“What?!” Connor squeaked, “Oh em gosh, guys!”

“Oh,” Arnold and Nabulungi both smirked and exchanged glances.

“Whatever you two are thinking, stop it!” Connor yelled, "Stop!"

Arnold and Nabulungi burst into rambunctious laughter.

Connor could feel his face heating up, “Ugh, you two are infuriating!”

“What’s happening?” Kevin mumbled sleepily.

Connor cleared his throat, “Nothing.”

“Nabu and I just wanted to know if you and Connor have done The Sex yet,” Arnold talked over Connor.

“Uh huh,” Kevin rubbed at his eyes, “It’s none of your business.”

Nabulungi hummed, “Is that a yes?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Connor shrieked, “Kev!”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“How did your day go?” Connor threw himself into his bed with a contented sigh. He was not looking forward to the aches from his abused muscles that would probably make themselves known the next morning. Maybe he should have given everyone the Friday off too.

Poptarts glanced up at him from the top of his book, “I didn’t leave my bed until after lunchtime, and I had the whole hut to myself the whole day.”

“Sounds fun,” Connor teased.

Poptarts huffed, “You won’t understand,” and went back to reading his book, and suddenly closed his book with a snap, “Oh, yes! Before I forget!”

“What?”

“There was a Mr Greene looking for you on the phone this afternoon.”

Connor sprung up from his bed immediately.

Well, crap.


	30. Chapter 30

For the first time in a very long time, Connor allowed himself to have a good cry. He was full out sobbing into his pillow, just like Kevin had done at the Kitgum hotel. Poptarts’ hand was warm and comforting in between his shoulder blades, but it did nothing to soothe the bitter ache of feeling that he had failed. He had failed as a district leader, he had failed everyone. The others would probably tell him otherwise, but his brain wouldn’t let him believe any of it.

“Do you want me to get Kevin?” Poptarts asked softly.

Connor didn’t know. He wanted Kevin here, he yearned for his voice and his touch. But Connor didn’t want Kevin to see him like that. Connor was supposed to be the emotionally stable one, calmly talking Kevin through his breakdowns, not a blubbering mess getting snort all over his pillow.

He was going to have to do laundry later, his brain unhelpfully supplied.

Poptarts got up from Connor’s bed, “I’m gonna go get Kevin.”

He should have stopped Poptarts. It was already one in the morning, and Kevin must have been fast asleep by now. But it would take too much effort. 

Connor unburied his face from the stuffy pillow and laid on his side, taking deep breaths to compose himself. It had been so long since he had cried until his fingers and toes felt all tingly. Connor squeezed his eyes shut and waited. Three counts in, three counts out.

“Connor?”

Kevin’s voice only served to reignite his waterworks. The anxiety-ridden part of Connor’s brain reminded him that Kevin has yet to give him a definite answer on London. He didn’t think he would be able to take it if he was never going to see Kevin ever again. Connor hid his tear-streaked face behind his hands.

He felt the mattress dip behind him, and Kevin’s arms enveloped him into a tight embrace, effectively spooning him.

“It’s going to be okay,” Kevin reassured gently.

Connor brought his hands up to latch onto Kevin’s like a lifeline.

Connor’s breath hitched, “I- I failed.”

“We’re gonna have a talk about that in the morning,” Kevin hugged him a little tighter, “For now, just go to sleep, alright?”

Connor nodded. He felt lightheaded from all the crying and his limbs were leaden with exhaustion. He was in the midst of falling into the abyss of unconsciousness when he heard a hushed conversation between Kevin, Arnold, and Poptarts.

“Is he alright?”

“Yeah Arn, go back to bed.”

“That can’t be comfortable for you. You look like you’re about to fall off.”

“It’s fine, Poptarts. Are you going to take my bed or-”

“I’ll stay here, if you don’t mind.”

Connor could feel Kevin’s short chuckle.

“Okay.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Consciousness came all too soon. It was only five in the morning, when Connor woke up. For a second, Connor was confused but enjoying how Kevin was sleeping right behind him in his tiny bed. And then the memory of last night came flooding back. Mr Greene had said no. They had officially ran out of options, and out of money. All of them would have to return home by the end of the month. How was he going to break the news to the Elders? They had all been counting on him to get their finances sorted out.

Connor shifted a little, and it upset the precarious balance Kevin had on the tiny space on the bed.

Kevin fell onto the floor with a thud.

Connor leaned over the edge of the bed to check on him, “Oh crap! I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

“Ow,” Kevin was not all awake, “You pushed me off the bed.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Connor extended a helping hand.

Kevin groaned as he sat up, “Ow, my back.”

“Did you hit your head?” Connor pulled Kevin back onto his bed.

“I’ll live,” Kevin rubbed at his eyes, “Time?”

“Five a.m.”

Kevin mouthed something incoherent and laid back down on the bed.

Connor felt unrested, but he didn’t think that he could go back to sleep. He might as well let Kevin have the bed to himself, Kevin would be able to sleep more comfortably that way.

“Connor, where?”

“I’m just gonna go outside. Go back to sleep.”

“Buh-,” Kevin’s eyes fluttered close, “You. We hafta-”

“I’m fine, we’ll talk later. Sleep,” Connor found it endearing that he was able to decipher Kevin’s sleep-ridden mumbling.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Yeah,” Connor focused intently on the grains of the wood, avoiding the gaze of everyone at the dining table, “I’m sorry, guys.”

“Elder Mckinley-”

“I’m just gonna-,” Connor swivelled around and marched towards his room, he was not going to cry in front of his Elders.

He crossed the room swiftly and opened the window to its widest, he needed fresh air.

The heat of the Sun felt good on his face. Warm and soothing.

Connor heard door clicked shut softly behind him.

“Hey.”

Connor sighed, “Hey.”

“You didn’t finish your breakfast,” Kevin was held Connor’s bowl out towards him.

Connor shook his head, “You can have it.”

“So this is it, huh?” Kevin sat down on the edge of Poptarts’ bed.

“Unfortunately so.”

“You were wrong, you know? About how everything you did was all for nothing,” Kevin started digging into Connor’s leftover oatmeal, “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have lasted this long.”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“Of course it does!” Kevin said heatedly, “Of course it all matters. Every single thing you have done for us matters. We wouldn’t be who we are today if not for you, Connor. You made every single one of us a better person. You’re the best district leader I’ve ever known!”

Connor couldn’t help but smile, “I’m the only district leader you know.”

He could feel his spirits lift a little from Kevin's words.

Connor finally turned away from the window to face Kevin, “Kev-”

“What is it?”

“Now that we have a deadline hanging over our heads,” Connor hesitated.

He didn’t want to rush Kevin into making a decision. He really didn’t. It was a big step to take after all. But he needed to know, so that he could prepare himself for- Nope, he shouldn’t think like that.

“Yes?” Kevin asked.

“I’m going to tell my parents about us, about me,” Maybe if Connor said it with conviction, he could actually believe that everything was going to work, “And I wanted to know if you have decided.”

Kevin looked crestfallen, and Connor braced himself for what was to come.

“Connor, I-,” Kevin bit his lip, “Why don’t you talk to your parents first, and then we’ll see where we go from there, alright?”

Connor nodded, “Sure, yeah. Okay.”

Kevin gave him a tiny smile, “Okay.”

“But could you-,” Connor didn’t want to drag Kevin into what would be an uncomfortable conversation, but he needed the support, “Could you be there with me when I- you know?” He motioned with his hands.

Kevin’s smile grew wider, “Of course.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Are you ready?”

“Am I? I don’t know,” Connor let out a nervous laugh.

Connor and Kevin were sat in front of his computer in his office, waiting for his parents to come online. His palms were all sweaty, and he felt as if the small room was closing in on him.

“I’m sure everything will turn out fine,” Kevin squeezed Connor’s shoulder, but Connor could tell that he was also feeling nervous.

“Oh look! Your mom’s online!”

Connor took a deep breath as he waited for the connection to be established. The Skype dial tone was loud and foreboding in the small space.

When the call went through, all they could see was the surface of a table, and scuffling noises in the background.

“Con, can you see us?”

“Mom, I think you’ve got the wrong camera on.”

She figured it out shortly after, and the shaky image of his parents appeared on the screen of his computer. This was the first time he saw his father since he had left for Uganda.

“Hey mom. Hey dad, I’ve missed you,” Connor waved, “Mom and dad, I’d like you to meet Kevin.”

Kevin flashed his best missionary grin, “Mr and Mrs McKinley, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Ah, Kevin Price,” Connor’s father smiled politely, “I’m sorry to hear about what happened. I hope everything is alright for you boys?”

“Yeah, yeah, dad, look,” Connor wrung his hands, “I have something important to tell you.”

Kevin stilled Connor’s fidgeting hands in his lap and held on tight.

“Well two things actually,” Connor shook his head, “No, three things to be exact.”

“What is it, hon?” Connor’s mother was starting to look concerned.

“First off,” Connor decided that listing them was the way to go. He was good at lists, “I’m coming home.”

“Oh, that’s-,” his father looked relieved, “That’s unexpected, but that’s alright, Connor. We’ve missed you at home. Is everything okay in Uganda? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Without the support of the Church’s missionary fund, we just didn’t think that it’s feasible for us to continue with our missions.”

“If it’s money you’re worried about-”

“No, mom.”

Their parents were not going to be the ones who would have to pay for their mistakes, for the price of their failed missions.

“It’s decided. We’re going home by the end of the month.”

“If you’re sure, Connor,” his father nodded, “Let me know the dates, so we can buy a ticket for you.”

Connor glanced over to Kevin, “Secondly, I’m-,” he choked, “I- I’m in love.”

“Oh, hon,” His mother’s hand flew to her chest, “Is it a local girl?”

Connor shook his head mutely. His mouth had gone all dry.

“It’s Kevin. I’m in love with Kevin,” Connor rushed out, staring intently at his keyboard.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at the screen. What did his parents think of that?

It was too quiet. They had stopped talking. Why haven’t they said anything yet?

“Connor,” his mother’s voice brought Connor’s gaze back to the screen at once.

“I’m sorry,” Connor blurted out and then stopped himself, “No, wait. I’m not sorry. This is just who I am. I’m gay, and I can’t change that. I don’t want to change that. I’m not sorry.”

“Oh, umm,” his father cleared his throat, “I thought it was just a phase with what’s his name? Sam? Simon?”

His mother smacked his father lightly on the arm, “It was the boy from The Blades. Oh hon, it’s- it’s great,” her voice was strained, “Great that you found- you know, Kevin. I’m sure he’s a great boy.”

“He’s right here, mom,” Connor frowned, “And it’s not a phase. It’s a part of who I am. I understand if you need to take some time to process this, but I really really hope that you could-,” Connor looked over to the too-quiet Kevin, “Accept us for who we are.”

His father leaned back into the chair and said, “Well, it seems like you’ve already made up your mind anyway,” which earned him a glare from his mother.

“Con honey, I think we’ve already known that you were- you were different from your other friends,” She tried to smile, “What is the third thing you wanted to talk about?”

“Soooo...you two are okay with it?” Connor cringed in anticipation.

“We’re not mad, Connor,” His father explained, “It’s just that- you know how much your mom looks forward to having grandchildren. But I’m sure we can figure something out in the future.”

“Don’t you pin this on me, Gary,” His mother scoffed and turned to Connor, “Of course, Connor, we’ll still love you, no matter what. And I cannot wait for you to come to London.”

Connor could cry in relief. He turned to Kevin, who was staring at the ground with his brow furrowed deeply. Connor nudged him and mouthed ‘You okay?’, and he received a tight nod in return.

“Kevin dear,” His mother said gently, “How are you doing? Connor said that you were sick.”

Kevin looked up at the sound of his name, “I’m fine, Mrs McKinley. Thanks for asking,” he nodded politely, “Connor’s here. He makes everything better.”

Connor’s head whipped around at that. Did Connor hear that correctly? Did Kevin just-

There was this warm and fuzzy feeling growing inside of Connor, driving away the despair from earlier.

“If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to let us know, alright?” Connor’s father said to Kevin, much to Connor’s surprise.

“About that,” Connor nodded, “I was thinking, maybe, perhaps, Kevin could come to London too?”

Kevin went back to staring at the ground again.

“Oh.”

Connor’s heart clenched. Oh? What was ‘Oh’ supposed to mean? What if his parents didn’t approve of the idea, and were just too polite to say anything in front of Kevin?

“Maybe I shouldn't be here,” Kevin started to leave, reading Connor’s mind.

“Kev!”

“Kevin,” Connor’s mother reassured, “Of course you’re more than welcomed to join us in London. Connor will like that a lot, won’t you hon?”

“Yeah mom, I would.”

“We do have a spare guest room upstairs, I’m sure we can do something with it,” His father suggested, “Although, the space would be a lot smaller than what you boys are used to back home. Real estate in London is incredibly expensive.”

"Thanks, dad."

“See,” Connor bumped his shoulder into Kevins’, “Nothing to worry about.”

“You’re one to say,” Kevin muttered and sighed,“I’m really sorry to impose.”

“Oh none of that, Kevin. Just- do you need to go back to Utah? All of your belongings are still back at your house, are they not?”

“I’d rather not go back,” Kevin frowned.

Connor’s father nodded, “It’s settled then. You boys must be tired, why don’t we talk another day?”

"Sure," Connor grinned.

It went way smoother than he could have ever imagined. For starters, his parents didn't disown him, nor did they make him feel like he was committing a sin. They had accepted Kevin and him, and that was all that mattered.

"Love you guys," Connor bid goodbye to his parents and logged out of his computer.

“So,” Connor blew out a breath, “I cannot believe it. We just did that!”

“Yes, we did.”

“Aren’t you glad that you won’t have to do this,” Connor realised how that sounded, “Oh crap, no. I don’t mean- I’m sorry! Kevin, I'm so sorry!”

Kevin must have pitied Connor’s horrified expression, “It’s fine, Connor. Maybe I should though? I kinda want to see how my parents would react. Could be fun.”

Connor put his hands on the sides of Kevin’s face, and looked straight into his eyes, “You’re a cruel, cruel man Kevin Price.”

“Me? Cruel? Excuse me, but have you met my parents?” Kevin poked Connor in his chest.

“You’re coming then? To London?”

Kevin sighed theatrically, “I guess I am. Apparently someone named Connor would like that a lot.”


	31. Chapter 31

Elder Davis’ farewell party was in full swing, with Elders and villagers enjoying the cool night in the village square. The party got rowdier as the night went on, thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol supplied by Gotswana and Ghali. The Elders were apprehensive at first, but it didn’t take long for them to succumb to their curiosities and now, Connor was the only one who wasn’t inebriated.

Someone had to stay sober amidst all the flailing bodies, Connor didn’t think he could call it dancing anymore, and he decided that it should be him. So, here Connor was at the fringe of the crowd, sipping on his boring coconut juice, as Kevin called it.

“This is way better than coffee!” Kevin had declared with a giddy laugh before he skipped off to get more beer.

Watching the scene before him made Connor feel homesick for Uganda, even though they still had a few weeks before they have to leave. This had truly been the greatest few months of his life, and he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the villagers, and all his Elders.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

Connor turned around, “Elder Davis! Are you excited to go home?”

“Kinda, I guess? I can’t wait to see my family and friends, and eat fast food. But I know that when I am finally home, I’ll be missing you…Uganda so much,” Elder Davis drained his cup, “I just want to say thank you, Elder McKinley. For everything.”

Connor nodded, he didn’t know what to say.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Of course. I mean, if you want to,” Connor shrugged, “I’m sure we’ll meet again some time.”

“Yeah,” Elder Davis glanced over Connor’s shoulder, “I’m just gonna go.”

Connor didn’t need to turn around to know who Elder Davis was eager to avoid. Elder Davis had always found some excuse to leave the room whenever Kevin was there, with Connor. He was never rude about it, and Connor didn’t think that anyone else even noticed at all. Maybe Elder Davis was right, this was for the best.

Connor turned around just in time for Kevin to walk right into him, the brown liquid in his half-full cup sloshing around dangerously.

“Geesh Kev, careful,” Connor put his hands on Kevin’s shoulders to steady him, “How much have you had to drink?”

“I don’t know? I lost count,” Kevin chuckled, “I like beer. It makes me forget all the shitty things that happened. I hope they have lots of beer in London. Do people put beer in coffee? That’d be double the awesome.”

“That’s how you become an alcoholic Kev,” Connor took the cup away from Kevin’s hand and placed far away from them, “C’mon, sit before you fall down.” He guided Kevin to a low mud wall.

Kevin looked down, “Hey! Where did my flip flop go?”

Connor followed Kevin’s gaze and sure enough, Kevin’s right foot was all sandy and his slipper was nowhere to be seen. Just how drunk was he to not have noticed that?

Connor turned around on the spot, but there wasn’t any unclaimed footwear lying around on the dusty ground.

“Ow, Connor, look!” Kevin was prodding at the sole of his foot, which was smeared with red and brown.

“Oh shoot, Kevin!” Connor kneeled down on the ground to examine the cut. Connor didn’t bother asking Kevin where he had gotten it from. While it wasn’t bleeding anymore, it was incredibly filthy, “You’ve got all your shots right?”

“Do shots?! Let’s!”

“Your jabs! Vaccines! You know, tetanus and what not,” Connor looked up at Kevin.

Maybe the doc- Oh never mind, Connor sighed as he caught sight of Gotswana, yelling drunkenly at Ghali about poultry farming.

“Uhh,” Kevin closed his eyes, “I think? Yeah. Yeah before here. Shots. Shots of lots!”

“What?!” Connor laughed at the incoherent sentence, “Alright, time to go back. Can you walk?”

“How? You didn’t find my- my flipper!”

“Your flip flop, you mean.”

“Yes! That!” Kevin yelled.

Connor supposed that was a valid question. Kevin shouldn’t be walking around barefoot with an open wound on his sole. He could go look for help, or not, seeing how nobody except him could walk in a straight line at the moment.

Connor bent over in front of Kevin, “Hop on.”

“What are you doing?”

“C’mon, hop on,” Connor prompted.

“Are you sure?”

“Unless you’ve got any better ideas?”

“Nope,” Kevin threw himself onto Connor’s back.

Sure, Kevin was a lot heavier than a normal backpack, Connor has never piggybacked an actual human being before, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Poptarts, hey!” Connor called out to his companion a couple of feet away, “We’re gonna head back to the hut first. Just make sure nobody does anything stupid alright?”

Poptarts gave a thumbs up, and Connor started on the path back to the hut. Fortunately, the full moon provided sufficient illumination, and Connor didn’t have to figure out how to get a drunken Kevin to hold a flashlight still for long enough.

The noise from the party faded away as Connor made his way down the dirt road, the peace and quiet a welcomed change. Kevin’s arms hung limply in front of Connor, and his head was tucked in the crook of Connor’s neck.

“You’re a bumpy ride,” Kevin moaned in Connor’s shoulders.

“Well I’m sorry I’m a crap ride, Your Highness. Would you like a taxi instead?” Connor rolled his eyes.

“No, I mean,” Kevin lifted his head a little, “You’re making me sick.”

“Oh yeah, when you phrase it like that-”

“Connor!”

Connor slowed to a stop and let Kevin down, just in time for him to double over and throw up onto the ground. Connor was just glad that Kevin had great timing, and great aim too, seeing that none of it ended up on either of their feet.

“You okay?”

Kevin nodded.

“You still like beer, Kev?” Connor teased.

“Shut up,” Kevin hopped a few steps on his good foot, and threw up some more into the bushes. Connor followed behind closely, and held onto Kevin, lest he face plant into the bushes.

Kevin wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, “Ugh gross.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

By the time they reached the hut, Connor was panting heavily. He had forgotten about the slight incline leading up to the mission hut. Oh gosh, he needed to work out more.

He managed to kick the door open with his feet, and deposit Kevin safely onto the couch.

Finally free of the weight, Connor groaned and rolled his shoulders, “You’re really heavy, Kev.”

“It’s all muscle, I’ll have you know,” Kevin grumbled.

Connor planted his hands on his hips as he thought about the best way to do this, “You should probably take a shower, wash all the grime off, and then I can tend to your foot.”

“It’s all too much effort,” Kevin whined, “Are you gonna help me shower?”

“Hey, if you’re old enough to get drunk, you’re old enough to take your own shower,” Connor pulled Kevin off the couch and towards the bathroom.

“You sound like a mom.”

“Well someone has to be around here,” Connor placed a plastic stool under the shower. He didn’t want Kevin to fall and give himself a concussion, “Strip, sit, and shower. Easy peasy.”

“What? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Kevin reluctantly pulled his shirt over his head.

“Have you heard the things coming out of your mouth earlier this evening?”

“No,” Kevin blinked at Connor, looking adorably confused.

“Well, they were dumber than what I just said."

“Hey!” Kevin cried indignantly as he kicked off his pants.

“Holler if you need help,” Connor closed the door before Kevin got to removing his boxers.

They weren’t quite there yet, right? Connor wasn’t sure where they were in their relationship. All they had done up till this point was some kissing, and maybe cuddling. Nowhere near this, whatever this was. Would he be crossing a line if he hadn’t left? Kevin didn’t seem to mind at all, but then again, Kevin was not entirely sober tonight. Connor didn’t want to make Kevin feel violated or anything, no, that would be the last thing he wanted. But how would Connor feel if Kevin had seen him naked? He wouldn’t mind, he guessed? Then again, he surprises himself sometimes, and Connor’s mind brought him back to the night when he had pushed Kevin away when they hugged.

What was the next step? How do people go from chaste kissing to- ahem, Connor cleared his throat. He could feel his face heating up by just thinking about it. But seriously, how do people proceed with this relationship thing? All those years of turning it off certainly hadn’t helped. He’d have to ask someone for advice. His Elders were probably as clueless as he was, so maybe he could talk to someone from the village.

Connor leaned against the wall beside the bathroom, waiting, and thinking about their relationship, and their future.

A brand new start. He liked the sound of that.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~ —

 

“Stop squirming!” Connor held on tighter, “I haven’t even started yet.”

“I can’t help it!” Kevin flopped back down onto the bed, “Just do it quickly!”

“I will, if you stop moving,” Connor thought about his position on the floor with Kevin’s foot in front of his face,“Don’t kick me, alright?”

Kevin had done a decent job of cleaning the filth off his foot. However, the wound itself was still pretty dirty.

“I can’t promise anything,” Kevin said, “Just do it already, God!”

Connor started on cleaning out the cut with a cloth soaked with rubbing alcohol. To his credit, Kevin kept his foot still, but he let out a maniacal laugh.

“Does it hurt?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Connor!” Kevin yelled, “Fuck!” His hands were clenched into fists by his side.

“Right,” Connor concentrated on working as quickly as possible.

The cut was not very big, but it was deep enough to make cleaning it out tricky. He was distracted by loud whispering and giggling from right outside the bedroom door. Whoever it was, they were not going away, and the noise was distracting Connor from his task.

Kevin jerked when Connor accidentally rubbed too hard.

“Sorry, sorry,” Connor put the cloth down, “I’ll be right back.”

Connor flung the door open and narrowed his eyes at the three Elders crouched outside the room. Elder Michaels had the audacity to wave at Connor.

“What are you guys up to?”

Arnold laughed, “Oh umm...We didn’t want to intrude.”

“Intrude? But this your room too Arnold,” Connor was confused.

“With all that yelling, we thought that you guys were doing it, you know?” Elder Church smirked.

“Doing it...What?!” Connor stared, “No! We were not- No! And if we were, you’re just gonna sit out here and listen in on us?! That’s- That’s an invasion of privacy!”

“I mean, you two were being very very loud,” Arnold shrugged.

“Elder Cunningham! That’s because-”

Kevin hollered from his position on the bed, “Connor, c’mon! Let’s get this over with so I can go to sleep.”

Elder Michaels giggled as he gave Connor another enthusiastic wave, “Goodnight, Elder McKinley!”

“He’s an extremely happy drunk,” Elder Church explained, steering his companion back to their room. But not before adding, “You better go finish him off, McKinley,” and snickering loudly down the hallway.

“You-,” Connor wanted to take his shoe out and launch it right at Church’s head. Geez, it was like elementary school all over again. Connor refrained from reminding them to hydrate. They deserved the wicked hangover they were sure to be getting tomorrow morning.

Connor went back inside the room, and found Arnold sitting beside Kevin.

“You’re back early?" Connor picked up the cloth again and poured more alcohol on it, "I thought you won’t be coming back until late,” 

“I was- I was,” Arnold scratched his head, “I was looking for Kevin!”

“Me? What for?”

“We were going to dance! But then you disappeared. Poptarts said you came back so I came back too.”

“Oh, were we? I forgot. But I don’t think I can- Ow! Fuck!” Kevin yanked his leg back and pleaded, “Are we done? Please tell me we’re done.”

“Almost,” Connor said apologetically, “Almost done.”

“What’s wrong with your leg?” Arnold peered over at what Connor was doing, “Oh that looks nasty. What happened?”

“I don’t know. I lost my flip flop.”

Connor managed to get the last of the grime out of Kevin’s cut, “Alright, we’re done. I don’t think we need it stitched, but you should go to Gotswana tomorrow, just to be sure.”

Connor slathered antiseptic cream over it and wrapped gauze around Kevin’s foot, “Ta-da.”

“Great, can I go to sleep now?”

“Not before you finish this glass of water. You’ll regret it in the morning if you don’t. You too, Arnold.”

"I think I'm already regretting it."

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Elder Michaels! Elder Church! Good morning!” Connor greeted them loudly as they shuffled into the kitchen.

“Shut up, McKinley,” Elder Church groaned and elbowed at his companion, “Help me get coffee.”

“Get it yourself.”

“Pleeeeease.”

Elder Michaels muttered, “Lazy butt,” under his breath as he poured the coffee.

Connor checked his watch, they were supposed to be seeing Elder Davis off at the bus station, “You have five minutes to finish your breakfast and get dressed, before we have to go to the bus station.”

The two Elders only grunted in acknowledgement.

“Is anyone even awake yet? Is Davis even awake yet?”

Connor carried the dirty dishes to the sink, “Actually, you are the last pair to come to breakfast. They're all getting ready back in their rooms.”

“How?” Elder Michaels frowned, “How is everyone still functioning human beings after last night?”

“Because your age’s catching up with you that’s why,” Elder Davis appeared in the kitchen, luggage in tow.

“Nonsense! I’m only 35 days older than you,” Elder Michaels scoffed, “I’m gonna miss you, Davis!”

“You only like me for my awesome shoulder rubs, don’t you?”

“Ah, well,” Elder Michaels laughed, a spoon between his teeth.

Connor just stood by and watched. His heart swelled at the easy camaraderie between his Elders, followed by a pang of sadness that this was ending all too soon.

“But for real though, I’ll miss you,” Elder Michaels sighed.

“We’ll just have to arrange a meet-up when everyone’s back in America,” Elder Church suggested, “Although McKinley’s probably not going to be joining us at all, right?”

Elder Davis turned to Connor, “What? Why?”

Elder Church explained, “His family’s moving to England.”

“It’s not like I’m never going back to America.”

“Yeah, but we’ll just count you out for now,” Elder Church joked, “Having one person short isn’t going to make much of a difference.”

“Eat poop, Elder Church,” Connor gasped with mock outrage, “Besides, I won’t be the only one. Elder Price will be coming to London too.”

“Oh.”

“Really?!”

“That’s nice, I guess,” Elder Church said with a weird inflection in his voice.

Connor’s smile faded, “What?”

“What?” Elder Church echoed.

“It just sounded like you had something else to add,” Connor tested.

Elder Church shook his head, “I don’t.”

The next minute passed in silence as Elder Michaels and Elder Church finished up their breakfast. 

“Right, are you guys done?” Connor decided to let it go, for now, “Let’s go, shall we?”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day! I'm feeling productive :)
> 
> P.S. I walked past a group of Mormon missionaries while I had Spooky Mormon Hell Dream playing on my iPod. It totally felt like I was committing a sin, and I'm not even religious.

Connor cornered Elder Church in the kitchen, “What did you mean, at breakfast?”

“Nothing, I’ve told you.”

“You don’t think that Kevin should come to London with me?”

Elder Church looked away, “I didn’t say that.”

“No, but you were thinking it.”

Elder Church poured himself a glass of water, “It’s just a big move, don’t you think?”

Connor nodded slowly, “Yes, I guess it is. And?”

“And,” Elder Church started, “You two have only been together for how long? Two weeks? What if, I’m not saying it wouldn’t, but what if things don’t work out?”

“What do you mean?”

“Look,” Elder Church sighed, “You know what happened with my parents. Why did you think that my mom never left the jerk? It was because he moved us away from everyone she knew. She had no one to turn to, she was stuck.”

Connor was appalled, “I would never-”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry it came out like that,” Elder Church shook his head frantically, “I’m just saying, we both know Price has got some issues, gross understatement but you know what I mean,” He laughed humourlessly, “I just don’t want either of you to be stuck. Or get hurt, you know? That guy’s been through enough as it is.”

Connor shouldn’t be surprised that this was coming from Elder Church. He was always the most perceptive and most mature amongst all the other Elders, Connor included. All of that a result of being forced to grow up too soon. He would have made an excellent district leader, if not for his temper and his propensity to put his foot in his mouth.

Connor smiled and put a hand on Elder Church’s shoulder, “You’re a great person, you know that?”

“What?!” Elder Church’s eyes bulged.

“Really. Thank you for looking out for Kevin,” Connor said earnestly, “I'll admit, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but this is like a new start for Kevin, you know? He’s got nowhere else to go.”

Elder Church nodded, “Right, yeah. That sucks,” and slammed his empty mug back onto the counter, “Well, good talk. I’m gonna go, yeah?”

“Why do you always run away when we get to the good stuff, James?” Connor teased, “Do you really hate talking about feelings that much?”

“Yes, I do,” Elder Church spun around and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving an amused Connor to finish up making dinner by himself.

Connor hummed as he chopped the vegetables, mulling over what Elder Church had said. They were going to be just fine, right? It wasn’t like Connor had forced Kevin to come with him, and it was not like Kevin could go back home.

Connor was about to turn the stove on when he heard the front door open.

Arnold’s booming voice filled the hut, “Are you sure? You should have seen how-”

“Shh. I’m fine, Arnold,” Kevin’s voice sounded small, and tired.

Connor stopped what he was doing and walked into the living room. He frowned at the sight of Kevin. He looked pale and shaky. That was not at all how Kevin looked when he left to see Gotswana for the cut on his foot three hours ago.

“Hey, you’re back. What’s wrong?” Connor crossed the room to his side in three strides.

Kevin gave Arnold a look and shook his head, “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just a little tired.”

Arnold stared at the floor and shuffled his feet.

“Okay,” Connor was entirely unconvinced, “How’s your leg?”

“It’s fine, I’m fine!” Kevin snapped.

Connor held his hands up in front of him, “Hey, hey. I’m just asking.”

Kevin scrubbed a hand across his face, “I’m sorry. I just- I need a nap,” Kevin threw another look at his companion before walking back to his room.

Arnold was about to follow, when Connor caught his arm, “Arnold.”

“Nothing’s happened!” Arnold said with false cheer.

Connor raised an eyebrow, “I haven’t even asked yet. Remember what I said about lying?”

“But- But I promised-,” Arnold looked towards the direction of his room.

“I can’t help him if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Uhh,” Arnold hesitated.

“You should know by now, that nothing good ever came out of letting him be. What if something bad happens? And we could have prevented it if I knew what was wrong?” Connor should feel bad for guilt-tripping Arnold into betraying Kevin’s trust, but he was too worried to feel anything else.

“At the clinic,” Arnold sighed, “There was this man. I guess he injured his eye or something, he had an eyepatch on, like Ragetti, you know?” Arnold chuckled nervously, “Anyways, Kev must have thought he was, you-know-who, and he freaked the eff out!” Arnold looked like he was about to cry, “I’ve never seen- I thought- I didn’t know what to do! He was just- Gotswana had to give him a shot before he could stop- You know how when you ride a roller coaster and you get all scared, and then when you get off you feel like you’re gonna barf? Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling right now.”

Connor squeezed Arnold’s shoulder, “Thanks for telling me. I know it must have been scary to see him like that.”

Connor knew how stingy Gotswana was with his drug supplies. For him to willingly use it on a non-life-threatening condition like a panic attack, it must have been bad. Very bad.

Arnold’s shoulders slumped, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Neither do I, Arnold. Neither do I.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor sat on Arnold’s bed, flipping through the book he had borrowed from Poptarts and occasionally glancing over to the sleeping form on the other bed.

“Oh no, please don’t tell me the dog dies,” Connor muttered to himself. Was this book going to have a sad ending? He wouldn’t want to continue reading it if that’s the case. What was the point of making himself feel even more down? Gosh. He only chose it because of the cute puppy on the cover.

Poptarts should have warned him.

“Oh Marley,” Connor sighed.

“Connor.”

Connor threw the offending book aside, “Kev, hey.”

“What are you doing?” Kevin turned to lay on his side.

“Reading,” Connor moved closer, “You want something to eat? You missed dinner.”

Kevin shook his head, “Arnold told you, didn’t he?”

“How did you know?”

“I don’t know, you just look more stressed than usual.”

“I guess I do, huh?” Connor ran his fingers through Kevin’s hair, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Kevin closed his eyes, “I’m really tired. Gotswana gave me Diazepam.”

“Okay.”

“Where’s Arnold?”

“He wanted to stay here, but I sent him off to hang out with Nabulungi. He’s still kinda rattled,” Connor explained.

“Is he coming back tonight?”

“Yeah, he is. But I’ll be here until he comes back, alright?”

Kevin gave a tiny smile, “Thanks.”

“Go back to sleep.”

“Oh, I should tell you,” Kevin opened his eyes, “Marley dies.”

Connor gasped, "Kev!"


	33. Chapter 33

“Does this look okay?” Connor took a step back from the wall. They were adding finishing touches to the walls of the newly painted classroom.

Kevin nodded, “It’s fine. It’s better than that at least,” he pointed to where Elder Church was working on.

“Fuck you Price~,” Elder Church sang without looking in their direction once.

Kevin rolled his eyes and turned his attention back onto his side of the wall. Kevin looked better today. But he was quiet, and his movements sluggish. Connor tried his best not to hover.

Connor suggested a break when he saw Kevin dip his brush into thin air, and continued painting as if he had actually gotten it into the tin of paint a few inches away.

“Let’s go to the Kafe. I need some coffee,” Kevin dragged Connor towards the exit by his arm.

“Am I invited?” Elder Church put down his brush.

“Sure,” Kevin shrugged.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“There’s just something about this coffee that’s different from the coffee we make back at the hut,” Elder Church contemplated and passed his cup over for Connor to have a try.

“Tastes the same to me. Yuck!” Connor shuddered and stuck his coffee-coated tongue out, “No offense, Sadaka,” Connor smiled at Sadaka, who was manning the Kafe. She gave a nonchalant shrug and continued brewing more coffee.

“You’re so boring, McKinley,” Elder Church shook his head, “You don’t drink alcohol, you don’t drink coffee. Do you even know how to have fun?”

“That’s uncalled for, Elder Church. I am very fun,” Connor raised an eyebrow.

Elder Church scoffed, “Clearly.”

Connor looked over at Kevin, who was slumped over the counter on his elbows. His second cup of coffee in steaming away his right hand, and his head in his left.

“Are you okay?”

Kevin’s eyes flickered up to meet Connor’s, “You need to stop asking me that.”

“Well excuse me for being concerned,” it came out harsher than what Connor intended, “After yesterday.”

All Connor wanted to do was to help, but he couldn’t, because Kevin wouldn’t talk to him, or anyone else. Connor knew it wasn’t because Kevin thought that talking was useless, no, it was because Kevin was still trying to turn it off. Even though Connor had told him countless times that he had been wrong, and turning it off never works.

Connor wished he could go back in time and slap his past self in the face for all the awful things he had done, and all the horrible advice he had given.

Kevin was trying his hardest to push everything down and lock it in a box, and Connor could already see the mess the inevitable blow-up was going to make. It was almost like watching a car crash in slow-motion, except that the car was heading straight at Kevin, and Kevin had asked Connor to just be there and watch.

Connor was getting majorly frustrated at being told to pretend that everything was fine and ignore the fact that his boyfriend was suffering. This was one of the few times when Connor wished to get out of Uganda as soon as possible.

“What happened yesterday?” Elder Church asked in passing, and then realised that he was being nosy, “Wait, never mind. Pretend I’ve never spoken.”

Connor didn’t answer, it wasn’t up to him to. Kevin didn’t answer either, so the three of them just sat and finished their drinks in silence.

Elder Church drained his coffee in one long gulp, “You two clearly need to talk,” and left the coffee stand.

Connor drummed his fingers against the wooden counter, unsure of what he could say without starting a fight.

Kevin broke the silence, “We’re due for a shopping trip to Kitgum, aren’t we? Kalimba mentioned that we could get a chalkboard for the new classroom. I was thinking that we can just buy some chalkboard paint, because I’m not sure how we can fit a whole chalkboard onto the bus.”

The last thing Connor wanted was to talk about some stupid classroom supplies. This was exactly the thing that Connor didn’t want happen, for Kevin to sweep everything under the rug and move on.

He stood up, “I’m not going to do this.”

“You don’t want to go to Kitgum?” Kevin asked.

Connor clutched at his own hair, “I’m not going to stand at the sidelines and watch you get hit by a car!”

Kevin’s eyes darted around warily, as if he was expecting an actual car, “What…car? Like in Kitgum?”

“I’m not talking about freaking Kitgum, Kevin! Gosh! Stop taking everything so literally!” Connor gritted his teeth.

“Are you okay?”

Connor finally broke, “Am I okay? Am I okay?! Are you kidding me right now?!” He inhaled deeply and held out a hand, “I’m going for a walk.”

If he didn’t leave right now, he was going to regret it.

Connor needed to talk about Kevin to someone who’s not Kevin. He needed to talk to Poptarts right now.

The crunching of the leaves under his shoes was getting increasingly annoying. Even the chirping of the birds were grating on Connor’s nerves.

Connor forced himself to stop, and take more deep, calming breaths.

“Crap.”

He had left Kevin all by himself.

It had seemed like the lesser of two evils at the time.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Please be there, please be there,” Connor repeated under his breath as he rounded the corner.

If Kevin wasn’t there, he was going to- Oh thank Lord!

Kevin was still sat at the Cafe, except now he had given up on staying upright on his stool, and was sprawled over the counter.

Connor walked over and he realised Kevin was asleep, his mouth slightly opened.How could someone even fall asleep right after drinking two cups of coffee?

Connor looked up at Sadaka, who gave him a disapproving glare.

Connor tapped on Kevin’s shoulder gently, “Hey.”

Kevin stirred, but didn’t wake up. Connor put his hand on Kevin’s forehead for good measure. It was sweaty, but cool.

Connor tapped harder, “Kevin, wake up.”

When Kevin finally woke up, he just stared wearily at Connor, “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry,” Connor sat down on a stool, “It’s just- You make me so angry sometimes,” Connor shook his head. That was probably not the right thing to say. It wasn’t Kevin’s fault that Kevin was, for the lack of a better word, messed up. It was Connor’s fault for being patient enough with him.

“I seem to make you angry a lot, don’t I?" Kevin remained laid over the wooden counter.

“No, no. It’s not- Scratch that. I’m not angry, I’m worried,” Connor tried to explain, “I’m really worried about you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“How can I not?!” Connor threw his arms up in defeat, “You keep saying that you’re fine, but you’re not, Kevin. You don’t have to be fine all the time, you know? Nobody does, and nobody expects that of you.”

“What do you want me to do then?” Kevin mumbled.

“I don’t know, Kev. I’m not saying you have to let all your feelings out all the time, but you shouldn’t just turn it off and pretend that they’re not there. Someday you're just going to implode,” Connor couldn’t really put his thoughts into words, “I’m not explaining this very well am I?”

Kevin shook his head.

“I just wish that you would tell me what’s bothering you. I know, I don’t have the ability to magically make things better. I wish I do, really. But, I just want you to know that you don’t have to deal with all the crap on your own. I’m not just here to share your joy, Kev. I want to be able to share your burden too,” Connor shrugged, “For better, for worse, right?” 

“We’re not married, Connor,” Kevin chuckled, but his expression turned serious as he thought about it, “But okay. I’ll try.”

Sadaka cooed, “Aw, you boys are so cute,” She turned to Kevin, “Now Elder Price, next time he’s being mean to you again, tell me and I’ll give you a free cup of coffee, to throw it in his face!”

“What?!” Connor frowned, “I wasn’t mean?”

“Oh yes you were, Elder McKinley,” Sadaka wagged her finger at Connor.

Connor held Kevin's hand, determined to make Kevin smile again,“I’m sorry. Please don’t throw hot coffee at me. How am I going to be an actor without this?” he gestured to his face.

Kevin gave him a tiny smirk, “Don’t worry, I won’t. I won’t waste a perfectly good cup of coffee on your stupid mug.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It took Kevin two days to get over the residual lethargy from his episode at the clinic and the sedative that Gotswana had given him.

Connor was glad that Kevin had actually heeded his advice. He could tell that Kevin was trying. Trying to open up to Connor. Or maybe he was still too tired to keep up with his charade. Connor would have to wait and see if he reverts back to Elder Kevin ‘I’m fine’ Price after he has fully recovered.

They were on Kevin’s bed, limbs entwined, after another long day of work, just chatting about nothing in particular.

Arnold had gone to Nabulungi’s again, but had promised that he’ll be back. Connor already knew he would. Arnold always comes back without fail, for Kevin. Probably because Arnold still felt guilty for everything that has happened to his companion.

“I haven’t had a hell dream in a long time,” Connor said, while playing with a stray strand of Kevin’s hair, “Ever since we left the Church actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Although the run-of-the-mill nightmares aren’t any better, in my opinion. Too close to reality,” Connor shuddered, “What about you? Any disturbing dreams lately?”

“I guess you could call them that, but nothing that’s keeping me from sleeping, so I guess I’m-” If Kevin said the ‘f’ word again, Connor was going to-, “Coping.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

Kevin shrugged. Connor considered it to be a milestone. Two days ago, Kevin would have said ‘no’ and moved on to another topic.

“What are they about?” Connor prodded.

“Things that happened,” Kevin left it at that, and snuggled in closer with Connor.

Baby steps.

“Do you uh- remember them when you wake up?”

Kevin sighed, “Some of them. I would wake up with my heart racing, thinking that I’m still in the…the dream. Then I would hear Arnold snoring away in the other side of the room, and I’d know that it was just a stupid dream.”

Connor kissed the top of Kevin’s head and held him tighter, “Any good dreams?”

Kevin grinned, “Uh huh.”

“Was I in them?”

“The night after the party,” Kevin recounted excitedly, “I dreamt that we went to my favourite place in the whole world.”

“Let me guess, Orlando, Florida?”

“Of course. We went on all the rides at Disneyland, there weren’t any queue at all! And we had Epcot all to ourselves when the fireworks started. And Mickey came out to announce that we’ve won a contest, so we got free Starbucks for life.”

“Your dreams aren’t very realistic, are they?” Connor laughed at the absurdity of it all. It was all so 'Kevin'.

He still remembered the huge, sweaty crowd of people at the parks when he visited it in the summer of freshman year. That was one of the reasons Connor never understood how Orlando could be anyone’s favourite place in the whole world.

Kevin’s voice became quiet, “Sometimes, just sometimes, I wished that I would wake up, and realise that Uganda was just a dream.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve always assumed that the Hello! reprise with Elder Buttfkingnaked was just a what-could’ve-been kind of scenario. Since before the song, the trio sang “I could almost see it now~”  
> So in this story, The General never got converted

The four of them were on their second double date. Much to Connor’s dismay, they were going to see the caves near the flower field. It was most definitely not an unanimous decision, Connor had much rather they went somewhere sunlight could reach, but it was a democratic decision. Connor had lost three votes to one.

“We could get rabies from the bats, Kev!” Connor had reasoned.

“No we couldn’t, we’ve all been vaccinated before we left for our missions.”

“But- But it’s dark! We don’t know what’s in there!”

“Aww, Connor are you afraid of the dark? Don’t worry, I’ll be there to hold your hand.”

Connor had almost started on about how Kevin was afraid to sleep alone, but that would be in extremely poor taste.

So here he was, dragging his feet towards their impending doom. He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as they climbed the hill, so that he wouldn’t start freaking out about the thousand and one things which might go wrong.

Nabulungi laughed, “Oh Elder McKinley, they’re just caves, I’m sure there are nothing dangerous in them.”

“Have you been?”

“Nope.”

“Then you can’t really know that, can you?” Connor snapped and then apologised, “I’m sorry, Nabulungi.”

Nabulungi took his hand, “Elder McKinley, if you really don’t want to go we could just turn back-”

Connor looked behind him, at Kevin and Arnold, who were talking animatedly with each other, “Nah,we’re already here.”

“Arnold!” Kevin threw his head back as he laughed.

If exploring some caves was what would make Kevin happy, that was what Connor was going to do.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor stared hard at the foreboding darkness in front of him.

“C’mon, Connor!” Kevin pulled Connor closer to the entrance of the cave by his hand.

It felt like the start of every horror film ever.

Connor let out a whine as he was engulfed in darkness. He blinked and let his eyes adjust to the dim interior. The cave was tall enough for them to walk upright, and it wasn’t too narrow either, Connor could walk side by side with Kevin.

Kevin and Arnold both turned on their flashlights, and Connor thought maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

“Hello!” Arnold’s voice was booming in the space, but there wasn’t a dramatic echo like Connor had expected.

“You alright?” Kevin squeezed his hand.

“I’m okay,” Connor squeezed back, “Just- let’s not go too far, alright?”

The floor of the cave was damp, and Connor let himself relax with the constant squishing of their footsteps and the two bouncing beams of light, illuminating nothing but walls of yellow and white in front of them. They haven’t spotted any bats yet, thank Lord. But he could definitely hear faint flapping noises in front of them. Or maybe it was just the wind, Connor could be imagining things. The air in the cave was surprisingly light. Connor turned behind and watched as the glow of the entrance grew smaller and smaller.

They seemed to be going down a slight incline, and from time to time, had to walk around stalagmites, and dodge the stalactites hanging above their heads.

“This is amazing,” Kevin marvelled at the cave formations, and placed his hand on the wall, “Oh my gosh, Connor! Feel it!”

Connor reluctantly placed a finger on the wall, “It’s cold.”

Kevin let out a satisfied sigh, “Isn’t nature beautiful? I hope there’s a cavern somewhere!”

“Caverns are where the bats live,” Connor commented, “You should know that bat droppings can carry diseases, right?”

Kevin shot him a look for raining on his parade, and continued dragging Connor along.

The passageway gradually narrowed, and their shoulders were almost brushing against the walls. If it got any narrower, Connor was going to start freaking out. He tried not to think about how the cave would get flooded if it rained. Connor was already feeling like there wasn’t enough air. He had never thought of himself to be claustrophobic, but then again, he had never willingly went into a deep, dark tunnel before this.

Connor coughed and brought his free hand up to his chest, trying to get his lungs to work properly.Kevin frowned at him in concern, but Connor shook his head.

He was going to be fine. It was just a cave. It wasn’t raining, and they weren’t drowning. And Kevin was happy. Connor focused on Kevin’s presence as they walked, the heat of Kevin’s body beside him, the feeling of Kevin’s hand in his, and the smile on his face.

In front of them, Arnold and Nabulungi suddenly gasped loudly.

“What is it?!” Connor’s heart raced.

They quickly caught up with their friends and Connor’s jaw dropped, “Oh em gosh.”

“Oh wow,” Kevin whispered beside him.

They had reached the cavern, standing on the edge of a large pool of groundwater. Rays of sunlight reaching down from the big opening on the roof of the cavern made the clear blue-green water sparkle. The water was so clear, Connor make out the cervices and submerged tunnels at bottom of the pool

“This is-,” Connor had never seen anything so majestic and beautiful.

“A great place to cave dive,” Kevin finished for him.

Connor put his foot down, “Definitely not, Kevin. Don’t even think about it.”

Kevin grinned mischievously, as they continued to marvel at the incredible view while in each other’s embrace.

They tried their best to look past the smooching couple to their right. Connor gave Kevin a sideway glance at that, and Kevin’s body shook with silent laughter.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The Elders decided to do a campfire night later that evening.

Connor watched as Nabulungi expertly split the thick branch with a mighty kick.

“Have you and Arnold given thought to what was going to happen at the end of the month?” Connor asked, bringing an axe down at his branch with a grunt.

She looked away, “I’m trying not to think too much about that, Elder McKinley.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Nabulungi tilted her head at Connor.

“Well, if I hadn’t screwed up we would still be able to stay here for another two years,” Connor sighed.

“Oh, Elder McKinley,” Nabulungi put a hand on his shoulder, “Surely, you must know that it is not your fault? If you want to blame someone, it should be me.”

“What? Don’t be silly, Nabulungi. How is it your fault?”

“I was the one who wrote the play. I was the one who convinced everyone to put up the play for the mission president.”

Connor shook his head, “It’s not your fault, Nabulungi.”

He was the one responsible for all the Elders. He should have paid closer attention to Arnold and Kevin.

“Then it is not your fault either,” Nabulungi reasoned.

If only it was that easy. Connor knew Nabulungi was not going to concede, so he just nodded.

Connor felt an arm snake around his waist.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kevin pressed up against Connor’s side.

“About how much of a dork you are,” Connor lied.

“Oh. Rude!” Kevin narrowed his eyes at the both of them.

“But it’s true, Elder Price. You did spend thirty minutes kneeling by the water, singing to your own reflection,” Nabulungi played along.

“You know, I’ve never pegged you as a Mulan guy,” Connor ruffled Kevin’s hair.

Kevin slapped his hand away, “It was a private moment! I don’t know why I even bother coming over here. Ugh!” Kevin untangled himself from Connor and stalked off.

Nabulungi pointed her chin at Kevin’s retreating back, “How is Elder Price doing?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Connor chopped another branch into halves.

“I did. Many times.”

“And?”

“He never tells the truth,” Nabulungi said plainly.

“Yep. Sounds about right.”

“That day when Arnold came back from the clinic, I have never seen him that distraught,” Nabulungi picked up a new branch, “Arnold never worries about anything. So if he’s worried…,” She trailed off.

“i don’t know what to tell you,” Connor wiped the sweat off his forehead, “He’s doing okay today though. I think going to the caves helped to take his mind off things.”

“Elder McKinley? I have to tell you something about The General,” Nabulungi lowered her voice, “Baba said that he was spotted two villages over, and he seemed to be heading in our direction.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor spent the whole evening feeling vaguely sick, the weight of Nabulungi’s words settling heavily in his gut. He couldn’t even bring himself to finish his dinner. What was he going to do? Kevin cannot know about the General, that much Connor was sure.

He turned his gaze to his left. Kevin was laughing along with everyone else around the campfire, as Arnold told an anecdote about his childhood. As if sensing Connor’s gaze, Kevin looked up at him, his smile vanishing in an instance.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired,” Connor lied for the second time in a day.

Kevin’s smile returned, “You’re getting old. It’s only nine.”

“Let’s play Truth or Dare!” Elder Michaels clapped.

Connor groaned, “Why?” He wasn’t up for mediating quarrels tonight.

“Sure! I’m in!” Elder Neely raised his hand.

Elder Church shrugged, “Let’s start with McKinley. Truth or dare?”

“I didn’t say I wanted to play.”

“Oh c’mon! You’re so boring!”

“We’ll go easy on you, I promise,” Elder Michaels said.

Connor rolled his eyes, “Truth.”

“Since you keep saying that you’re not boring,” Elder Church started, “Tell us about the time you broke the law.”

“Uhh-,” Connor mused, “I’m gay? It’s against the law here.”

“Booooo!”

“That’s a cop out, McKinley!”

“Fine. I drove without a licence once. I was alone at home, and I was craving for Chipotle. To be fair, I had already finished my driving lessons. I just hadn’t taken the test yet,” Connor crossed his arms, “Elder Church. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

Connor looked to Kevin for inspiration. Kevin snapped his fingers, “We dare you to lick the sole of Michaels’ feet.”

Elder Michaels shrieked, “Why do I have to- Why am I- I wasn’t the one who chose this!”

“Very gross, Price. But it’s an easy dare,” Elder Church nudged his mission companion, “Shoes off, bud.”

“Go lick Elder Price’s feet or something, I’m not doing this!”

Elder Neely cringed, “Can we please stop talking about licking feet?”

“What’d you say, Price? Since he doesn’t want me doing that,” Elder Church smirked.

Kevin pulled his legs closer to his body, “No way. Nope. Arnold?”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Arnold kicked his shoe off and stuck his foot out.

Elder Church took Arnold’s leg and completed his dare.

Arnold’s face turned to one of disgust, “It’s so wet.”

“Ugh, nasty,” Elder Church spat onto the ground.

Elder Neely looked like he was about to vomit.

“That was really uncomfortable to watch, all thanks to you, Elder Price,” Elder Michaels shuddered, “Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Confess to a lie that you’ve told recently.”

“I was the one who ate the strawberry Poptart in the toaster,” Kevin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“It was you?!” Poptarts yelled, “I’ve been wondering about who the heck it was all week, you thief!”

“I didn’t think it was anyone’s. I waited around for like ten minutes,” Kevin defended.

“I was in the shower!”

“Right, how was I to know that? I didn’t see anyone in the hut.”

Poptarts pointed a finger at Kevin, “You lied to my face. You said you didn’t see my Poptart when I asked.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I knew you’d get all,” Kevin gestured at Poptarts, “Worked up and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with that then.”

Connor decided to step in before it escalated, “Alright, guys. What’s done is done. Let’s stop arguing about this.”

Poptarts chewed his lip as he thought about it, “I’ll forgive you, if you take over my mission hut chores for next week.”

“Deal,” Kevin stretched out his hand, which Poptarts shook.

The game continued around the campfire, and Connor began to zone out, staring at the flickering flames and worrying about the danger that was heading their way.

“Elder McKinley! It’s your turn again!”

“What?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“What’s your biggest fear?”

Connor had many fears. Right now, he was deathly afraid of losing Kevin Price.

“Spiders.”


	35. Chapter 35

Connor decided to gather more information from Mafala.

He looked around the small, cosy hut. There were old electrical appliances scattered around the living room. Mafala was fixing them up so that he could sell them at the market. Nabulungi’s typewriter sat on the table in front of Connor, a half-written paragraph of one of Arnold’s stories on the paper.

Mafala reappeared from the kitchen and handed Connor a cup of hot tea, “Here you go, Elder McKinley.”

“Thank you,” Connor accepted it with both hands, “Where’s Nabulungi?”

“She is still at school,” Mafala sat down opposite Connor, “So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Nabulungi told me that The General is coming back?”

Mafala shook his head and sighed, “Nobody knows for sure. We can only hope that he does not.”

“There must be something that we can do? Can’t the authorities help?”

“The only thing we can do is to lay low, and try not to attract too much attention,” Mafala advised.

Connor scoffed, “It’s kind of difficult for us to not attract any attention, don’t you think?”

“You boys did a good job at not attracting too much attention before,” Mafala shrugged.

Before Kevin and Arnold came to Uganda. Before Kevin confronted the crazy warlord all by himself. Before the two of them insulted him in front of the whole village.

“Are you sure we can’t call the police or something?” Connor tried.

Mafala mocked, “The police. I wish it was that easy, Elder McKinley.”

“So you think that we should just hide away and pray that he doesn’t find us?”

“I am afraid The General already knows where you boys live.”

Connor threw his hands up in frustration, “Then what are we supposed to do?!”

They could leave.

They could leave before The General arrived.

Connor’s conscience argued that they couldn’t just up and leave the villagers to their own devices at the frst sign of trouble? He was not a coward, was he? The logical part of Connor’s mind noted that it wasn’t their fight, and they didn’t owe the villagers their lives.

The door of Mafala’s hut opened with a creak.

“Elder McKinley!” Nabulungi greeted cheerily, a bag full of books slung over her shoulder, “What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” Connor waved, “Oh nothing, I just had something to discuss with Mafala,” Connor turned to Mafala, “I better be getting back. It’s almost dinner.”

“Elder McKinley,” Mafala called out as Connor stood up from the table, “You boys be careful, alright?”

“Yeah,” Connor nodded, “Thanks, Mafala.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Poptarts was the first person Connor came across since he left Mafala’s. They met on the way back to the mission hut.

“Is everything alright?” Poptarts queried.

Connor shook his head, “Nothing’s alright, Pops.”

“What is it?”

Connor stopped walking, “The General. He may be coming back to the village,” he ran a shaky hand through his hair, “I’m really scared, Poptarts.”

“Are you sure? That’s- What are we going to do? Do you think he’ll come for us?”

“I don't have a clue,” Connor blew out a breath.

They didn’t even have the support of the LDS church anymore. The nearest US embassy was in Kampala, half a day’s drive away. If anything happened, they were on their own.

If his parents knew the situation Connor was in, they would freak. All of their parents would, maybe with the exception of Mr and Mrs Price.

“Are you going to tell the rest?”

“I have to,” Connor sighed.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“I mean, Oxford and Cambridge are obviously great schools. But then Imperial College’s in London.”

“What?” Connor’s head snapped around to look at Kevin, who was laid against Connor on the couch, computer on his lap.

“Were you even listening?”

“Yeah, yeah. They’re great,” Connor agreed blindly.

“Connor!” Kevin complained, “You should care more about where you’re going to get your degree from. Education’s really important. I shouldn’t be the only one concerned about our futures!”

Their futures.

Their futures could turn to dust in an instant.

The General could obliterate all of their future hopes and dreams with just a pull of the trigger.

“I just don’t think this is the biggest thing to worry about right now.”

“It isn’t?” Kevin frowned, “Then what is?”

Poptarts put down his book and tuned into their conversation.

“Uhh,” Connor didn’t realise he had said that out loud, “It doesn’t matter where I get my degree from, I’m not planning to perform surgery.”

“Of course it still matters!” Kevin insisted.

“Well okay, maybe it does. But I still won’t be able to get into any of the schools you’re looking at right now.”

“You haven’t even tried, and you’ve already given up?”

Kevin was right, they haven’t tried. But was the price of failure worth it at all? Connor couldn’t help but feel that the odds were stacked against them.

“Sometimes, giving up is the wiser choice,” Connor muttered under his breath.

“What have you got to lose?” Kevin said, thinking that Connor was still talking about college applications.

Everything. They could lose everything.

“Kev, I need to tell you something,” Connor sat up straighter.

“Umm okay?” Kevin looked worried.

Connor held Kevin’s hand, “The General. He may be coming back to the village.”

Kevin yanked his hand away from Connor’s, “What?”

“Kevin, hey. Hey, look at me,” Connor soothed.

“How- How do you know?” Kevin stood up from the couch, his eyes wide with panic.

Connor stood up too, “You need to calm down, Kevin.”

“You can’t tell me that he- he’s coming back and ask me to calm down, Connor!” Kevin’s voice was strangled, “What the fuck? What the fuck?! What- I’m- I need to-”

Kevin sprinted to the bathroom and slammed the door shut before Connor and Poptarts could follow.

“Crap,” Connor tried the knob. It was locked.

Connor could only knock on the door, “Kevin, please open the door.”

Poptarts pressed his ear against the wood, “I think he’s sick.”

“Shoot,” Connor cursed, “What are we gonna do?” He knocked harder, “Kevin!”

“Whoa whoa, hey,” Poptarts caught Connor’s hand.

Elder Church stuck his head out from his room, “What’s the commotion?”

Connor turned to Elder Church, “Can you run and get Gotswana?”

“It’s midnight,” Elder Church raised his eyebrows.

Connor snapped, “It’s an emergency!”

“Connor calm down,” Poptarts stepped in between the two of them, “It’s too dangerous to go out now, you know that.”

Connor knew that. Of course he knew that. He shouldn’t have asked that of anyone.

Elder Church patted Connor’s shoulder in reassurance, “What’s wrong with Price?”

Poptarts answered, “Connor told him that Butt-effing-naked is coming back.”

“Why the hell would you say something like that to him?”

“Because it’s true?”

What did he think? That Connor liked to make Kevin panic for kicks?!

“Oh,” Elder Church did a double-take, “Wait, WHAT?! He’s coming back?!”

“Didn’t I just say that? It doesn’t matter right now,” Connor dismissed with a frustrated wave, “Can you pick a lock?”

Elder Church stared, “Why would I know how to do that? I’m not a delinquent!”

“You just seem like you would know stuff like this,” Connor shrugged, and resumed his frantic knocking.

Poptarts had to stop Connor before he broke the door down, “Maybe you can go wake Arnold up.”

They heard the toilet flush, and the click of the lock.

“Kev? I’m coming in, okay?” Connor turned the knob.

“Should we go?” Poptarts pulled Elder Church along with him, away from the bathroom, “Call if you need any help.”

“Thanks,” Connor nodded at them and slowly pushed the door open, “Kevin?”

Kevin was on his knees on the floor, and his face hidden in his arms on the closed toilet.

Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s back, which was soaked with sweat, “Why don’t we get you cleaned up and then you can go to bed?”

Kevin, looking thoroughly exhausted, let out a shuddering breath, “I can’t move.”

“I’ll help, c’mon.”

Connor helped Kevin up sit up on the toilet, “Stay here.”

Connor busied himself with helping Kevin to wash up and change. Kevin wasn't talking, and Connor had nothing much to offer but useless platitudes about how things were going to be fine. Things were most certainly not fine. After a while, Connor stopped trying to fill the silence with his rambling.

By the time he got Kevin tucked in bed, it was nearly two in the morning. Arnold was snoring away in his side of the room, and Connor had no idea how Kevin could actually sleep in here.

“Do you want me to stay?” Connor asked, despite being ready to collapse face-down on his own bed.

Kevin looked torn for a moment before shaking his head ‘no’.

“Are you sure?”

“Just go to bed, you look like you’re about to fall over.”

“Okay. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kevin shrugged over his morning coffee.

Connor was just about to drown himself in his bowl of cereal at that.

Both the stress of the impending disaster on the horizon and dealing with Kevin had triggered the start of Connor’s nightmares again. As a result, he had less than three hours of sleep last night, and his tolerance for Kevin’s antics was practically non-existent this morning.

“I mean,” Kevin elaborated, as if sensing Connor’s irritation, “What’s happened has happened. I can’t change it, I can’t forget it, I can’t help how my brain and my body reacts. There’s nothing that you or anyone else can do to stop whatever this is. So yes, there’s nothing to talk about.”

It wasn’t all wrong, what Kevin had said. There was nothing much that Connor could do about Kevin’s...condition. But that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t want to try.

Kevin continued when Connor didn’t reply, “What are we going to do about...you know, him?”

Connor very much rather Kevin have nothing to do with The General at all, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m trying very hard not to think about it, to be honest,” Kevin stated.

Connor nodded. He was too sleep deprived to ruminate on how he was going to protect everyone from the crazy warlord at the moment. He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, “Well anyway, I’m sorry to have sprung it on you like that yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you panic.”

“There probably isn’t any easier way to break news like that, is there?”

“No, I don’t think there is,” Connor sighed.

Maybe if he understood Kevin’s episodes better, he could know what to expect in the future and how he could help.

“Was that also what happened at the clinic?”

Kevin drained the rest of his coffee in one long gulp, “You have to ask Arnold about that. I don’t remember what happened at the clinic.”


	36. Chapter 36

The thought of fleeing the village left a bitter taste in Connor’s mouth. For Connor, it wasn’t just about missing out on one more month of fun in Uganda, or being here for the villagers. Connor knew that they were all utterly useless in a gunfight, or any kind of fight really. It was all about not letting the bad guy win. The General had hurt people: men, women, children. He had hurt Kevin. If they fled, he would have won by default.

Having said that, what he did to Kevin was simultaneously the reason why Connor would leave Uganda without a second thought. His ego and self-righteousness be damned. If Kevin had even mentioned leaving, he would have been on the phone with his parents in a heartbeat, and they would be out of Uganda in a day, tops.

Apparently, he was not the only one who was reluctant to leave, despite the danger.

“I’m not leaving Nabu here to deal with He-who-must-not-be-named by herself,” Arnold declared, “I’m staying.”

Connor have never seen Arnold so resolute and mature, it was a far cry from when he first arrived in Uganda. The other Elders around the table all looked at Arnold with what looked like newfound respect.

“I- I’m staying too,” Elder Neely put his hand up, “I really love Maua, I can’t leave her.”

As noble as the two of them were, being willing to sacrifice their lives for love, Connor couldn’t help but worry that they didn’t understand the magnitude of the situation.

“Elders,” Connor said sombrely, “You do realise that this is dangerous? The General is a violent and cruel murderer. You could get hurt, or worse.”

“I know, Elder McKinley,” Arnold nodded, sparing a glance at Kevin, “Believe me, I know.”

Elder Neely nodded firmly.

“What do you two think?” Connor turned to Elder Church and Elder Michaels.

The two missionaries looked at each other and then back at Connor. Elder Church shrugged, “If Cunningham and Neely are staying, they’re going to need help.”

“Poptarts?”

Poptarts shook his head, “I need more time. I’m sorry, Connor.”

“No, no. It’s completely fine,” Connor assured, “It is a big decision after all.”

“Kevin?”

Kevin avoided everyone’s gaze, choosing to stare down at his hands on his lap. Connor regretted the fact that they didn’t have a whole lot of time to talk about this before the meeting. Kevin was still reeling from the initial news that The General was returning, and Connor hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him.

“Hey,” Arnold rubbed circles on Kevin’s back, “It’s alright, buddy.”

Kevin didn’t acknowledge Arnold, nor lift his head up.

“I think,” Connor tore his eyes away from his distraught boyfriend, “That all of us, including me, need to take some more time to think things though. If anyone needs to Skype their parents, you’re welcome to use my computer.”

The Elders shuffled out of the room, leaving only Connor and Kevin at the table.

“You know,” Connor took one of Kevin’s hands from his lap, “If you want, my parents could buy us tickets and we’ll be out of here.”

“Arnold can’t leave Nabulungi behind, and I can’t leave Arnold behind,” Kevin furrowed his brows, “Where does that leave me?”

Connor knew that this wasn’t a decision he could make for Kevin, “Just know that whatever you choose, I’ll be there with you, alright?”

Connor got up to clear the remnants of breakfast on the table. He would have to tell the Elders to steer clear of public areas these few days. Maybe if The General didn’t see them, he would leave them alone.

“Connor.”

“Yeah?”

Kevin said softly to himself, “I can be brave,” and then stood up from his chair, “I can be brave. I am not a coward. I’m staying here.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Five thousand shillings?!” Connor pointed to the sack of potatoes, “It was only three thousand when I came by 30 minutes ago!”

The stall owner just shrugged. After spending almost twenty-thousand shillings on fresh meat, Connor wasn’t left with much. He wanted to cook a nice dinner for the Elders, everyone had more than earned it. He reluctantly paid the lady, and grabbed the sack of potatoes before she changed her mind again.

With his hands full of produce and bottled water, Connor began his walk back to the mission hut. Maybe he shouldn’t have turned down Kevin’s offer to accompany him to the market. 

“Elder McKinley!”

Connor turned around at the call of his name, almost dropping the bag of eggs on the ground.

“Nabulungi, hey!” Connor smiled, “Where are you headed?”

“The same place you are headed to,” Nabulungi relieved Connor of the big bottles of water under his arms.

“Oh. Do you want to stay for dinner? I’m making steak and potatoes today,” Connor held up his bag of meat.

“Meat? Is that what steak knives are for?” Nabulungi tilted her head curiously.

“What?” Connor chuckled, “Umm, yeah? But we don’t actually have any steak knives at the hut, so we’ll just have to cut it up with a normal knife.”

“I see,” Nabulungi nodded pensively, “So why does it come with the Book of Mormon?”

“I don’t think it does?” Connor was baffled, “Why would you think that?”

“That was what Arnold had said. Is it just a figure of speech, like the frogs?”

“Ah Nabulungi,” Connor shook his head, “I think he was just making it up. When was this?”

“The day after they arrived at the village.”

In retrospect, Connor would have loved to watch Arnold and Kevin’s attempt at proselytizing the villagers. It wasn’t funny then, Connor had taken their baptism numbers very seriously, but it sure would be funny now that they weren’t Mormons anymore.

“I bet Kevin had something to say about that.”

“Oh yes, Elder Price was not pleased with Arnold at all,” Nabulungi laughed, and then her smile faded, “That was the day General Butt-fucking-naked killed Ojore.”

“Oh,” It was the day when Kevin had returned to the mission hut covered in blood.

Connor had brushed Kevin off, because he was stressing out over the progress report for the mission president. It all seemed so inconsequential now: the reports, the visits, the statistics.

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have brought that up,” Nabulungi said.

“No, no,” Connor smiled sadly, “I just- I said some things I’m not proud of that day. They were obviously traumatised, but all I cared about was making the district look nice on paper.”

“I am sure that they have forgiven you.”

They sure did. Even though Connor didn’t think that he had deserved it.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The steaks were sizzling loudly in the pan, a sound which made Connor a little homesick.

He set the timer on his watch for flipping the steaks. They didn’t have any steak sauce, so salt and pepper would have to do.

Connor gasped when he felt arms circle around his waist.

“Steak! My favourite!”

“I know,” Connor smiled, “How was your nap?”

Kevin shrugged glumly, “Could have done without it,” and started making himself a cup of coffee.

Connor frowned, “If you drink coffee now, you’re not going to be able to sleep at night.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Kevin said sarcastically.

“Bad dreams?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin waved dismissively.

Connor put down the spatula, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just make sure you don’t burn those steaks alright? I’m really looking forward to them,” Kevin patted Connor’s shoulder and exited the kitchen.

Connor was about to call out to Kevin when his watch started beeping.

“Dang it.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

During dinner, Kevin drained two more cups of coffee. Connor raised an eyebrow at him when Kevin reached for his third cup. Kevin just stared back at him, daring him to say something. Connor wasn’t going to, he wasn’t stupid.

“Elder McKinley, this is really good,” Elder Neely complimented.

Elder Church nodded in agreement, “Surprisingly not too bad at all. Considering all the tasteless yam mash you’ve been forcing down our throats ever since we came here. I thought that you were just bad at cooking.”

Connor rolled his eyes, “Would it kill you to say something nice without it being loaded with insults?”

“I don't know...maybe?”

“Forget it,” Connor muttered under his breath, and turned to Nabulungi, “How do you find it, Nabulungi?”

“I think I like it, Elder McKinley.”

Connor beamed, “Thanks, Nabulungi.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but what’s the occasion?” Elder Michaels asked.

Connor shrugged, “I just thought that everyone has been working really hard for the past few weeks, despite...some setbacks. And to celebrate the fact that everyone is brave enough todecide to stay here, even though-”

Arnold frowned, “Uh oh, I’m getting a Last Supper vibe here.”

“No Elder Cunningham, this is not our last meal, or whatever. We’re going to be okay. Everything’s going to be fine!” Connor insisted through his best attempt to smile.

“Well,” Elder Michaels laughed airily, “Safety in numbers and all that, right?”

Elder Church scoffed and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right. A massacre more like it.”

The Elders and Nabulungi fell into solemn silence after that, pondering over their own mortality.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor sprung up from his bed, gasping like a fish out of water.

Connor wiped the sweat off his brows, “Crap.”

Thank Lord it was just a dream.

His nightmare felt all too real. He could still feel the phantom stickiness of dried blood between his fingers.

“Connor?”

“It’s fine, Poptarts. Just had a nightmare. I’m fine.”

“Mmmm,” Poptarts was already halfway back to unconciousness.

Connor’s gaze flitted over to the door, and he frowned when he saw the faint light spilling in through the gap under the door.

Did someone leave the lights on? Didn’t they know that electricity was expensive?

Connor sighed as he rolled out of bed to take care of the problem. He opened the door and stuck his head out, listening for any sort of movement.

The lights in the kitchen were on.

Connor padded softly across the dark living room into the kitchen, and squinted at the bright fluorescent light.

“Kevin?” Connor moved towards the figure slumped over their dining table.

It seemed like Kevin had been trying to read a book but had fallen asleep halfway through, an almost-empty mug of coffee beside his head.

There was no way Connor was going to be able to go back to sleep knowing that he had left Kevin there in the kitchen. Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, with the intention of waking him up, but he got a much bigger reaction than what he was expecting.

Kevin yelped and scooted away from Connor, and it was Connor’s fast reflexes which stopped Kevin from falling out of the chair.

“Kev, hey. It’s just me.”

“No, no no no. What are you tryna-,” Kevin tried to dislodge his arm from Connor’s grip.

Connor held on tight, and eventually Kevin stopped wanting to escape.

“Are you awake now?”

The mist of confusion dissipated from his eyes, and Kevin nodded jerkily, “Yeah, yeah. I’m up. Is it morning already?”

“It’s morning, alright. Four-thirty in the morning. Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Wasn’t tired,” Kevin pouted at his mug.

Connor took the mug away from Kevin before he could ingest more caffeine, “Clearly. What are you reading?”

“Borrowed it from Church,” Kevin showed Connor the cover, “The History of Uganda.”

“No wonder you fell asleep,” Connor muttered, and pulled on Kevin’s arm, “C’mon, you’ll be more comfortable on a bed.”

“No no, it’s fine. You go ahead,” Kevin remained glued to the chair, “I’m just gonna finish this chapter.”

Connor knew that it wasn’t just going to be that one chapter. Kevin was going to stay up until sunrise and avoid sleeping at all. Connor couldn’t blame him, he knew exactly how it felt like to be afraid to fall asleep, to be afraid of being at complete mercy of whatever horrible images his brain decided to conjure up at night.

“I know how you fee-”

“No, you really don’t.”

“Okay. Fine, whatever. I don’t, and I never will because you don’t tell me anything anyway.”

Kevin flinched at Connor’s accusation.

That was not what he had meant to say.

Connor dug the heel of his hand into his eye in frustration, “Look, we’re both stressed, we’re both tired, and this is obviously not a good time to hold any kind of proper conversation. Let’s go back to bed, alright? Just remember, they’re only dreams, they can’t hurt you, not really.”

“That’s not true.”

“What?” The image of Freddy Krueger appeared in Connor’s mind.

Kevin sighed, “Nothing. Are you going to go back to your room or not?”

“Not unless you do too.”

Kevin thought about it for a moment, and then pushed himself away from the table, “Fine, let’s go.”

They stood in front of their respective doors.

“Goodnight Kev.”

“Hey uh,” Kevin paused at the threshold, “Thanks for waking me up before uh- before it got ugly,” he gulped, “Goodnight, Connor.”

Connor frowned, “Kev-”

Kevin closed the door behind him before Connor could even ask what he had meant.


	37. Chapter 37

“Where is he?!” Connor grabbed someone’s shoulder. He didn’t even know whose shoulder he was grabbing, but it was the only cleanly-pressed white shirt he could see, other than himself, in the sea of coloured textiles.

“Connor!” Poptarts gasped, “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. I wasn’t there,” Connor swiped a shaky hand across his sweaty forehead, “I was helping to do some paperwork at the school.”

Connor’s heart was still racing, partly because he sprinted all the way from the school, but mostly because of what made him started running in the first place.

It had been a week since they received news that The General was heading their way, but nothing has happened thus far. They were starting to think that he wasn’t going to come back at all. Until someone came into the office of the school yelling that he was in the village. All Connor could think about at that moment was ‘Please Lord, not the marketplace’, because that was where Kevin and Kalimba had brought the kids for their English lesson that afternoon.

Of course, it had to be the marketplace. Sometimes, Connor wondered if their string of bad luck was Heavenly Father’s punishment for abandoning their faith.

Horrible scenarios played themselves out in Connor’s brain unbidden. All he could imagine was the blood. Blood covering every inch of the marketplace. Kevin's blood.

“Connor, are you listening to me?”

“What?” Connor forgot why he was here for a second, before he remembered. He grabbed onto Poptarts, “Where’s Kevin?”

He craned his neck as he tried to see past the villagers who have filled up the town square in front of the clinic.

“I don’t know."

“Do you know what happened?”

“I wasn’t there, but from what I heard it was chaos. Mutumbo and some of the guys managed to chase them away, for now. But I doubt that Butt-effing-naked would actually stay away, to be honest, he doesn’t seem like the type who gives up easy.”

Connor surveyed the crowded space, they were some people who had bandages and blood on their clothing, but no one seemed to be too badly hurt. 

Connor gasped when he spotted Kalimba. He made his way through the crowd, dragging Poptarts along behind him.

“Kalimba! Kalimba!” Connor had to apologise for bumping into people left and right, “Kalimba!”

“Elder McKinley,” Kalimba had a sobbing child clinging to her leg. Connor recognised him as Levi.

“Where’s Kevin? What happened?!”

“Butt-Fucking-Naked happened. We heard shots, people yelling. Then we were running with the children,” Kalimba sighed, “We were almost outside the market, when we realised Levi was not there, with us. So Elder Price went back.”

Levi was obviously unhurt, so where was Kevin?

“And?” Connor prompted impatiently.

“I haven’t seen him since. Levi said that Elder Price was running behind him. I'm sure he's here somewhere, maybe helping Gotswana out. Don’t worry, Elder McKinley, he runs fast for a white boy,” Kalimba kneeled down to Levi’s height and wiped the tears off his chubby cheeks, “Let’s go find your mama, huh?”

Kevin may be able to outrun his competitors in track-and-field, but he sure as heck won’t outrun a bullet.

Connor turned around and Poptarts was no longer by his side.

Where did his companion go?! Didn't Poptarts know that they should stay together in situations like this?!

He spotted another familiar figure in the distance, “Nabulungi!”

“Elder McKinley!” She looked relieved, “I was looking for you!”

“Have you seen-”

“Arnold is with him. Come,” Nabulungi pulled Connor towards the crowded clinic.

He was reunited with Poptarts at the entrance of the clinic, “There you are!”

The inside of Gotswana’s clinic was even more packed than the town square. Some people were lying flat on the ground, some were propped up against boxes, walls, and other people. Connor struggled to follow Nabulungi through the sweaty bodies, until finally-

“Kevin!” Connor almost collapsed in relief when he found Kevin on the stool, sagged against Arnold.

He wasn’t covered in blood, which was a lot better than what Connor had imagined. Kevin’s face brightened when he spotted Connor.

Arnold waved, but Connor’s gaze was trained on the tie used as makeshift sling for Kevin’s right arm.

“Are you okay? What happened to your arm?” Connor’s hand hovered above Kevin, afraid to touch him.

“It’s kinda dumb. I tripped over some boxes, fell, and I think I broke something.”

“What?!” Connor exclaimed, “Has Gotswana-”

He’s a bit busy right now,” Kevin looked up at Connor, “Hey, is everyone okay?”

Only then did Connor realise that he hadn’t even thought of checking on anyone who wasn’t Kevin. What a terrible district leader he was.

Poptarts answered, “Church and Michaels should be fine, they were supposed to be cleaning the mission hut today. I haven’t seen Neely though, but he should be at Middala’s. He mentioned something about helping them with a broken pipe in the morning.”

One injured Elder was more than enough for Connor, “Poptarts, why don’t you go check and make sure that everyone’s really okay?”

Poptarts nodded, and went on his way.

Arnold and Nabulungi were huddled together, and whispering to each other.

Connor tapped on Kevin’s knee, “Did you see the- Umm, him?”

“We were on the other side of the market,” Kevin shook his head, “We started running as soon as the shots rang out. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground.”

Connor didn’t fail to notice how Kevin left out a part of the narrative, “Kalimba said you ran back for a kid.”

Kevin shrugged, and then grimaced in pain. He hugged his injured arm tighter to his body, “That boy has no built-in flight response, I’m telling you.”

Connor smiled in response to Kevin’s attempt to lighten the mood. But when Kevin moaned, Connor finally had enough.

“Where’s Gotswana?!” It was like the hospital all over again. Except this time, it was truly a one-man show at the packed clinic.

Arnold and Nabulungi stopped talking and looked down worriedly at their friend. Arnold adjusted his position so that Kevin could lean more comfortably on him.

Connor paced, “Maybe we should take you to the hospital.”

It was not that Connor didn’t trust Gotswana, but the clinic was not equipped to deal with anything more serious than a cold or a sprain in Connor’s opinion.

And if they went to Kitgum, they could escape the whole General situation altogether. It was easier to be brave when The General’s arrival was nothing but hypothetical.

Connor waited for Kevin’s protest, which never came.

"Hey, so should we?” Connor frowned when he still didn’t respond.

Connor kneeled on the floor and held Kevin’s face in his hand, “Kev?” His eyes remained closed.

Arnold gently shook on Kevin’s uninjured shoulder, “Hey bud?” His eyes widening in terror when his companion was motionless, “McKinley!”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It took Kevin passing out for Gotswana to finally swing by and take a look at him. Actually, Connor screaming his head off may have been the main reason why they caught Gotswana’s attention, along with everyone else’s. Connor could worry about the embarrassment later.

Sadaka, who lived next door to the clinic, kindly allowed them to use her hut, since there was literally no room for Gotswana to treat Kevin at the clinic.

With strength he didn’t know he possessed, Connor singlehandedly carried Kevin out of the clinic and into Sadaka’s hut.

Before they reached the bed, Connor could feel his hold faltering.

If he didn’t put Kevin down now-

“Get out of my way!” Connor snapped when Arnold didn’t move fast enough.

Arnold jumped aside, looking mortified. Beside him, Nabulungi looked annoyed at Connor’s outburst. But he didn’t have the time for that now either.

Connor managed to reach the bed without dropping his injured boyfriend on the ground and injuring him further.

Gotswana took over from there, and the three of them stood back to let him work.

“I’m sorry,” Connor flexed his aching arms.

Arnold gave a strained smile, “It’s okay.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

A fractured collarbone was the diagnosis after a brief examination. Gotswana opened what seemed like a first aid kit and fished out a triangular sling.

Connor suppressed the urge to demand why wasn’t he more focused on the fact that Kevin was unconscious?! What if it was more than a broken bone? And how did he know what was wrong without an x-ray? What about drugs? Did Gotswana even have enough medication with so many people needing them?

This was a disaster.

They should never have tempted fate by staying in Uganda.

Connor only realised that he was about to pull his own hair out when Nabulungi closed a hand around his wrist.

“Why isn’t he awake yet?” Arnold asked meekly.

Gotswana took Kevin’s pulse, “Vitals are strong,” he reassured them,“Elder Price is going to be fine, it was just the shock.”

Kevin only started stirring after Gotswana efficiently reset his collarbone and wrapped his arm snug with the sling, which Connor was thankful for, because he missed what would have been the most painful part of the procedure.

“Hey,” Connor was at his side at once when Kevin opened his eyes, “You back with us?”

Kevin’s eyes wandered down to his arm, and then to Connor, and then at Gotswana, “What did I break?”

Gotswana adjusted the sling, causing Kevin to wince, “Just your clavicle, Elder Price. Nothing too serious. You should be good as new in a month or two.”

“How are you doing, buddy?” Arnold sat down beside Kevin’s knees.

“I’m-”

Kevin cried out when Gotswana moved his arm too much.

“Hey, careful!” Connor barked.

Gotswana ignored Connor’s biting tone, “I will have to go look for something to give you for the pain. But no promises, the new shipment of pills are not coming in until the end of the month,” The doctor started packing up, “Stay here, I will be back,” and he instructed Connor, “Get him some water.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor and Nabulungi sat on the steps in front of the mission hut, under the twinkling stars with steaming cups of tea in their hands.

Gotswana managed to scrounge up some painkillers after all. The three of them had taken turns half-carrying a drugged-up Kevin back to the mission hut, where all the Elders were waiting, unharmed. Thank Lord.

Once again, Kevin had drawn the shortest straw of the lot. For seemingly no reason at all but bad luck.

“Feels like déjà vu,” Connor sighed.

Nabulungi turned to him, “What does that mean?”

“Huh? Déjà vu? It means when something feels like it has happened before,” Connor explained, “I feel like Kevin’s getting hurt all the time. And I-,” Connor shook his head.

“You know that accidents happen, right? There was nothing you could have done.”

Connor scrubbed at his face, “I know. Doesn’t stop me from feeling useless though. And this! This was a close one. He could have been shot, or worse.”

"But that did not happen. You need to stop scaring yourself."

"Yeah."

Nabulungi held Connor's hand while they just sat in silence, occasionally sipping at their tea and gazing at the stars.

Connor hoped that it wasn't too late to start praying to Heavenly Father again.


	38. Chapter 38

Connor knocked and pushed open the door to Kevin and Arnold’s room. He was greeted with the sight of Arnold bending over Kevin’s bed, his back to Connor, and blankets strewn on the ground.

“What’s up?” Connor asked warily.

Arnold picked up his glasses from the table to better see who it was.

“Umm-,” Arnold turned to Kevin, who had his good arm over his face, and then back to Connor, “Nothing’s up…much.”

“What?” Connor’s frown deepened.

Arnold whispered something to Kevin, who was still hiding behind his arm, and then shrugged at Connor as if to say he’s-all-yours, before leaving the room for breakfast.

“How are you feeling today, Kev?” Connor stepped into the room.

“Okay,” Kevin croaked.

Connor sat down on the edge of Kevin’s bed, “Do you want me to bring some food for you?”

Kevin shook his head, “Just-,” his breath hitched, “give me a minute.”

Connor gently removed Kevin’s arm from his tear-streaked face and gasped, “Kev! Are you in pain?! Why didn’t you say anything? I’m going to go get your pills. Hang tight!”

Connor jumped up from the bed.

“No no,” Kevin wiped at his eyes, “I’m fine.”

“If you’re fine, you wouldn’t be-”

“My arm’s fine. Just a bad dream, is all,” Kevin looked out of the window, “It’s dumb.”

“It’s not dumb, Kevin,” Connor sat back down on the bed.

Dumb was the last word Connor would use to describe Kevin’s struggles.

“Whatever,” Kevin sighed.

Connor held Kevin’s hand as he took his minute.

“I thought it was real.”

“Huh?”

“When I woke up,” Kevin fiddled with a loose thread on his sling, “I couldn’t move my arm. I thought that I was back with-,” He sniffed, “Back with him. They were holding my arms down.”

Connor didn’t think that he could bear to listen anymore.

“You’re safe now.”

“No, I’m not,” Kevin smiled faintly, “But it’s okay. You’re here.”

Kevin put way too much faith in Connor.

 Kevin squeezed his eyes shut, “Shit. I think I may have hit Arnold.”

“What?”

“When he tried to help. I may have cuffed him in the face or something. Damn it.”

“Knowing Arnold, I’m sure he doesn’t mind in the least,” Connor assured.

“Mmmm,” Kevin carefully stretched, "Still have to apologise though."

“Breakfast?”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor chuckled as the cereal slipped off Kevin’s spoon once again.

Kevin threw a dirty look at Connor, “You’re supposed to help me, not laugh at me.” 

“I mean, unless you want me to spoon feed you...”

Kevin glared.

“So what’s the plan for today, Elder McKinley?” Elder Michaels asked.

“Why don’t we just lay low for today?” Connor echoed Mafala’s advice.

“Oh. How long do we have to lay low for?” Elder Neely looked uncertain.

Elder Church said, “If we’re going to be cooped up in here for the rest of the month, we might as well go home now.”

“What do you suggest then?” Connor splayed his hands out.

“I don’t know?”

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose and suppressed the urge to yell, “How about this: All of you stay here, just for today. I’ll go and see what I can find out from Mafala.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was putting his shoes on, when Kevin and Arnold appeared next to him, both fully dressed and ready to go.

“What do you think you two are doing?” Connor questioned.

“Going to the Hatimbi’s,” Kevin announced.

“Uhhhh…No you’re not,” Connor raised an eyebrow.

Arnold and Kevin both stared at Connor in confusion.

“Why not?” Arnold simply asked.

“Because it’s dangerous? The General is still out there.”

Kevin scoffed, “That’s why we’re coming with. You shouldn’t be going anywhere by yourself.”

“I know how to take care of myself,” Connor argued, and then realised that he should actually take his own advice, “Alright, Arnold can come with me,” He pointed to Kevin, “But you’re staying put. You’re hurt.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “I didn’t break my legs. Yet. C’mon, let’s go.” He pulled Arnold out of the door with his good arm, leaving Connor with no choice but to follow.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Arnold marched on at a quicker pace than usual, excited at the prospect of seeing Nabulungi. Connor hung back to stroll with Kevin, who seemed to have lost his enthusiasm for the trip.

“You okay?”

Kevin adjusted his sling, “Just tired. Didn’t really get to sleep much last night.”

“Oh,” Connor frowned, “Was it because of your arm?”

“Partly,” Kevin winced and rubbed at his shoulder.

“Did you take your pills?”

Kevin chewed on his bottom lip, “No.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because they make me feel better.”

Connor must have heard wrongly, “That is what they’re supposed to do, right?”

“I don’t just mean physically, Connor,” Kevin pulled Connor to a stop with another wince, “I don’t wanna- you know, become too reliant on them,” He gestured with his free hand.

“You’re not going to become addicted, Kevin,” Connor found it hard to reconcile the image of a junkie with Kevin.

Kevin’s nothing like the people Connor had seen on the news. Kevin’s smart, snd he’s stronger than anyone Connor has ever seen. 

“Guys! C’mon!” Arnold yelled somewhere ahead of them.

“I’m not,” Kevin resumed walking, “And I want to keep it that way.”

“This is unnecessary. You know that, right? People take painkillers all the time, and nothing bad happens. Besides, you need it.”

Kevin remained unconvinced.

Connor spent the next few minutes pondering over how he could convince Kevin that he didn’t need to be in pain. There was nothing to worry about at all.

“After the surgery,” Kevin’s voice was soft, “I kept taking them. Even when I didn’t need to anymore.”

Connor was stunned by Kevin’s admission.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know. You had enough on your plate,” Kevin sighed, “I was really messed up after the thing with my parents.”

“But you stopped,” Connor seemed to recall Kevin donating his leftover medications to Gotswana’s inventory.

“I did,” Kevin proclaimed proudly, “Because of you.”

“Me?” Connor wasn’t aware that he had done anything to help.

“I didn’t want to let you down I guess.”

Let him down? Connor felt like he was the one who had let Kevin down. Kevin had been suffering and Connor hadn’t even noticed how bad off he had been.

“And now, with everything that’s going on, the- him coming back,” Kevin continued, “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stop.”

They have arrived at Mafala’s hut before Connor could respond.

Mafala greeted them at the door, “Ah! Elders! Come on in! I was just about to make lunch.” 

“Is Nabu in?” Arnold asked eagerly.

“Ah yes, Arnold. She’s in her room.”

Arnold took off in the direction of Nabulungi’s bedroom without a backward glance.

“Elder Price! I heard that you help to save Joan’s boy! She is very grateful,” Mafala placed a gentle hand on Kevin's shoulder.

“Oh,” Kevin shook his head, “It’s nothing.”

“It is not nothing, Elder Price. You are very brave,” Mafala insisted, “Now, you two just sit and wait for a bit. Lunch will be done soon.”

"Thanks," they replied in unison.

Connor hovered as Kevin slowly lowered himself down onto the couch with a grimace. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. His forehead was glistening with sweat, even though it was a particularly cool day.

“Did you take anything at all? We should still have some aspirin in our first aid kit.”

“We’re out. Of everything.”

“We are?” Connor shouldn’t be surprised, it has been a while since they had returned from Kitgum.

Why couldn’t Kevin have it easy for once?

Maybe Mafala would have something in his hut.

“Will you stop pacing and sit down.”

“I’m so sorry, Kev.”

Kevin cracked opened an eye, “Why are you apologising?”

Connor sat down beside Kevin, “I haven’t been a very helpful boyfriend.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s fine,” Kevin patted at Connor’s knee.

“How is this fine?! Why do you keep saying that? Nothing’s fine!” Connor tried to keep his voice down.

“Not again, Connor. Well, what do you want me to say then?”

Connor retorted, “I just want you to tell me the truth!”

“I just did,” Kevin closed his eyes and sighed, “You know, we need to find something new to fight about.”

“This isn’t a joke.”

“I didn’t say it was,” Kevin turned away from Connor, “I’m trying, okay? I’m sorry if it’s not good enough for you, but I’m trying my best. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

Connor realised that he was being a jerk. Kevin had opened up to Connor, like he had asked him to, and Connor had all but thrown it back at Kevin’s face. Why couldn’t he just be more patient with Kevin? It used to be one of his strongest traits. Poptarts was right, Kevin did bring out the worst in Connor.

Connor blurted out, “I’m sorry.”

“Will you stop?!” Kevin snapped.

“Umm, guys?” Arnold appeared in the living room, Nabulungi in tow, “Everything okay?”

Kevin just scowled at Connor.

Nabulungi eyed the both of them, “What is wrong?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Kevin replied, “He’s the one with a bone to pick.”

Neither Arnold or Nabulungi knew what to say to that. Connor knew he had fudge up big time.

“Come!” Mafala yelled from the kitchen, “Lunch is ready.”

Arnold and Nabulungi took that as their cue to escape.

“Kevin, I'm-”

“I swear to god, Connor. If you say ‘sorry’ one more time, I’m going to lose it.”

Connor gulped and nodded, “I- I shouldn’t have said what I said. I’m-,” Connor shook his head.

It was hard to apologise without actually saying the word, “I know that you are trying, and- Uh,will you forgive me for being a jerk?”

“Connor, I’m really tired of you being upset with me every time I- you know what? Forget it,” Kevin waved his hand, “You’re forgiven.”

“I’m not mad at you, Kev.”

“It sure sounded like it to me.”

Connor scratched at the back of his neck, “I think I was more mad at myself than anything. I just hate to see you hurting. I’m so- Uh, I promise this won’t happen again. If you say that you’re fine, then I’m going to trust you on that,” Connor nodded with conviction.

“You promise?” Kevin frowned.

Connor took Kevin’s free hand in his and brought it up to his lips, “Promise.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Ghali and Mutumbo has gathered a few of the villagers to form a team, of sorts,” Mafala clasped his hands together, with his elbows resting on the dining table, “They have some guns. Some of them were in the army way back. We will be prepared for when Butt-fucking-naked comes back.”

Connor nodded tentatively, “I see.”

Mafala pointed to Connor, “And you should already know what advice I would give to you boys.”

“Lay low, don't attract attention, stay out of trouble,” Connor recited.

“Good, good! You learn! Yes, stay the fuck out of it, Elder McKinley. Things could get ugly real quick. You do not want to be in the middle of that,” Mafala beckoned his finger at them.

“Baba,” Nabulungi groaned.

“You too, Nabulungi. You are not to go anywhere on your own. Until Butt-fucking-naked is dead,” Mafala’s tone turned serious.

“Don’t you worry, Mafala!” Arnold pat on his chest, “I will protect Nabulungi with my life!”

Nabulungi snorted, “I could drop you on your butt just like that, Arnold,” She snapped her fingers.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. You could,” Arnold looked at Nabulungi with awe.

Connor was still uncomfortable with the casual mention of murder, even if it was the murder of someone as awful as The General. But if it was what they had to do to survive, it was a no-brainer.

“Elder Price,” Mafala frowned, “Why are you not eating? Eat. You have to eat to heal.”

“Oh umm,” Kevin cleared his throat, “Yeah, I will.”

Connor watched as Kevin continued to push food around on his plate without putting any of it in his mouth.

Later, when Connor was helping Mafala to do the dishes, he asked, “Hey, uh, Mafala?”

“Yes, Elder McKinley?”

“Do you have any aspirin or ibuprofen?”

“I am afraid we do not. Why? Are you feeling sick?”

“Oh no,” Connor shook his head, “It’s not for me. It’s for Kevin.”

“Ah I see, I could help you to ask Gotswana for advice later?” Mafala supplied helpfully.

“Oh no, it’s okay, Mafala. Gotswana already gave him something yesterday,” Connor wouldn’t be able to answer the inevitable questions from the doctor, and he wasn’t sure if Kevin wanted anyone else to know, "He just forgot to take them in the morning."

Connor was missing the simple conveniences he had taken for granted back in America. If they were home, he could just pop right down to the store and grab a box, heck, ten boxes of medicine.

Kevin yelled out from the living room, and Connor’s heart stopped, until it was followed by boisterous laughter.

Connor resumed with the washing up.

“You look tired,” Mafala noted.

“I am,” Connor huffed and muttered under his breath, “I can’t wait for this to be over.”

“I know the feeling all too well, Elder McKinley,” Mafala sighed.

Connor spoke slowly, “Do you actually think that we’ll be able to be rid of The General? For good?”

“It is the only way we can get our lives back.”


	39. Chapter 39

“Pffft, name three characters that you even know?” Kevin snorted.

Kevin, after being tutored by Arnold about all things Star Wars, had been debating with Arnold over something regarding the franchise for the past hour. And Connor had accidentally, blindly taken Arnold’s side by nodding to something Arnold had asked.

He wasn’t even paying any attention at all, preoccupied with their current dire situation at hand.

“What?”

“Ugh, never mind,” Kevin rolled his eyes.

Arnold smirked, “That’s two to one, buddy.”

“Connor doesn’t count! He doesn’t even know what we’ve been talking about. Do you, Connor?”

Connor heard something which made the hair at the back of his neck bristle.

“Shush,” He extended his arm and stopped the three of them in their tracks.

“What is it?” Kevin whispered, “Lion?”

“No.”

It was much much worse than a lion.

Muffled conversation came from behind the thick foliage, over the faint rumbling of a stationary vehicle. There was no way to pinpoint where or how far away they were. But Connor recognised the gruff baritone voice.

And Kevin did too, his eyes widened with fear and blood drained from his face.

“We got to go,” Connor urged softly, and Arnold nodded frantically.

Connor tried to pull Kevin along but he didn’t budge, “Kev, c’mon we gotta go.”

Kevin just stared at Connor with his terrified eyes, and let out a strangled sob. Connor instinctively covered Kevin’s mouth with his hand, but that just made Kevin panic even more.

“No no,” Connor didn’t dare to remove his hand now that Kevin was making loud, scared noises, “Shhhh.”

The voices stopped abruptly, along with Connor’s heart. At least Kevin stopped making those gosh-awful noises too.

The silence was broken by the rustling of grass on the other side of the trees.

“Crap. Crap,” Connor looked around and gestured for Arnold to help him with Kevin.

The dirt path they were on provided no cover at all.

It was too late to run.

They had to hide.

Connor pointed to a fallen tree in front of them, and Arnold nodded in understanding.

Together, they guided a mostly silently-panicking Kevin to the log. It wasn’t easy, with Kevin’s sling in the way. More than once, Connor jostled Kevin’s injured arm, and his face crumpled in pain.

“Sorry, sorry,” Connor murmured as they ducked down behind the log, fervently praying that it was enough to save them.

Kevin was pressed between the two of them, breathing harshly, his own hand over his mouth. Connor put a hand on Kevin’s trembling back, which made him flinch.

“Sorry,” Connor mouthed and dropped his hand.

They heard footsteps on the dirt path.

Arnold tilted his head up slightly, but neither of them dared to peek over the log.

Connor couldn’t remember if the soil was soft enough for them to have left footprints. Did they leave any traces behind?

Watching Kevin struggle to catch his breath while trying to stay quiet was making Connor’s lungs seize in sympathy.

Connor’s blood turned to ice when he heard the clanking of metal as the men moved.

They were going to be found.

And then they were going to be shot. Or worse. They could die.

They could actually die. Today. In the next few minutes. This could be their last moments on Earth.

“There is no one here. You stupid fuck,” the booming voice made all of them jump.

“I swear I heard something. Must be a deer.”

The footsteps were getting uncomfortably close.

“Fucking deers,” The deep voice of The General was coming from above them.

Connor could only pray.

Heavenly Father, please.

Please.

“Let’s go,” The General barked.

The footsteps faded away, but the three of them stayed frozen for a few more minutes, just in case.

Connor tried to get Kevin to look at him. He placed his hand on Kevin’s back. Kevin flinched again, but Connor didn’t remove his hand this time.

Kevin finally swung his eyes up to meet Connor’s. Connor purposefully inhaled deeply for Kevin to follow. It was just like the time with the Mac and Cheese, except this time Kevin was much more aware and in control. Kevin had gotten the hang of dealing with it, and Connor wondered if it was actually a good thing.

Arnold craned his neck to look beyond the log.

“Are they gone?” Connor whispered.

Arnold let out a loud exhale of relief and nodded.

“That was a close call,” Connor rubbed circles on Kevin’s back. His breathing was almost back to normal.

“You don’t say,” Arnold slumped back against the log, “Phew. That was scary. Kev, bud?”

“You okay?” Connor swept Kevin’s hair away from his face.

“I-,” Kevin coughed, “I’m okay,” he glanced at Connor, “You promised.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Connor pressed their foreheads together, “Gosh, Kevin.”

“I’m okay,” Kevin repeated.

“We’re okay. Oh gosh, we’re okay.”

Arnold suddenly sat up rod straight, “We need to tell Mafala! He’s still here! Why is he so near to the mission hut? Oh no, what if he’s coming for us?!”

The image of them returning to a scene of a grisly massacre at the mission hut flashed passed Connor’s mind.

No!

The other Elders had to be fine.

It was just a coincidence, after all. It had to be.

The General had probably forgotten about them altogether.

“It’s too dangerous to go back to the village,” Connor shook his head, “Let’s just head back first,” He wrapped his arm around Kevin’s waist and hoisted him upright. Connor helped to brush the leaves and dirt off both their pants.

Arnold lifted himself off the ground using the log as leverage, “Do you need help, Kev?”

“I’m okay.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Arnold was right.

The General had come for them.

Connor’s lungs burned as his feet pounded on the hard soil. Occasionally, he would stumble, or Kevin would stumble, but they never let go of each other. He didn’t know where they were headed, it had been ‘run or get shot’. So they had taken off into the woods they had wondered into the night of their lion encounter.

“Connor, Connor, stop,” Kevin panted and started to slow down, “Stop. Hurts.”

No no no, they can’t stop! The General’s goons were closing in on them with their guns.

“You can do it, Kev,” Connor pulled on Kevin’s hand, but he remained doubled over, “Kevin, please! We have to go!”

“I- I can’t. Just go without me,” Kevin tried to dis-entangle his fingers from Connor’s.

Connor held on tighter, “You must be crazy to think that I’ll ever leave you behind like that.”

From the corner of his eye, Connor could see the man catching up with them.

The man raised an arm and took aim at them.

No no no nonononono.

“Connor.”

No no no.

Was he dead?

“Connor, hey,” Kevin’s voice was coming beside his head.

Were they both dead?

“No we’re not.”

Connor rolled his head to the side, and came to face with Kevin, who was staring up at the ceiling.

“Right,” Connor yawned.

Neither of them have a lot of wiggle room on the small bed, and Connor already couldn’t feel his right leg, which was trapped under Kevin’s left. As he became more awake, all Connor could hear was the loud snoring coming from Arnold’s side of the room.

“Sorry I woke you up,” Connor dragged a hand down his face, “Maybe I should go back to my room.” Connor said without the intention of moving.

Kevin turned to look at Connor, “It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep. What were you dreaming about?”

“The usual. Death and destruction,” Connor brought his wristwatch up to his face, “It’s three thirty,Kev. Are you sure you’re comfortable like this? I could go-”

“Don’t,” Kevin moved to lay his head on Connor’s chest, “I’m good.”

“Then why aren’t you sleeping? You must be tired.”

“Very,” Kevin sighed.

Connor kissed the top of Kevin’s head, “What can I do?”

There was nothing much Connor could do. All they had in the hut was a bottle of pills which Kevin refused to take. Even Connor’s Chamomile tea has been finished.

“Just- do nothing,” Kevin spoke into Connor’s shirt.

Connor gave him a gentle massage on the head, “What’s stopping you from sleeping?”

“This, for one,” Kevin pointed at his sling, “It’s scratchy.”

“Do you want to take it off?”

“Nah, it hurts less this way.”

Connor frowned, “That sounds really uncomfortable, Kevin. Are you sure you don’t want to take something for it?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll just go grab-”

“No no, I- It’s fine. Ignore what I said. I’m too tired to think,” Kevin mumbled, “I can do this.”

“But you need to sleep, Kev. Just try and sleep, alright?”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past four hours?” Kevin groaned, “My stupid brain’s not letting me go the fuck to sleep.”

Connor just listened.

“Every damn time I closed my eyes. I see- I see him. And I can’t breathe. I feel like-,” Kevin’s voice was quiet, “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“You’re not going crazy,” Connor wrapped his arms around Kevin, “You’ve just…been through a lot.”

“Those two things are not mutually exclusive,” Kevin pointed out.

“You’re just-,”Connor wanted to say ‘traumatised’.

“Tired. I’m just tired,” Kevin blew out a long breath, which dissolved into sobs.

Connor suddenly had a crying Kevin Price in his arms. He wasn’t sure if these mood swings were just because of sleep deprivation, or the pain, or the stress, or the undiagnosed PTSD that Kevin probably had. Maybe all of the above.

Kevin just needed to let it all out. Hopefully, he would finally be exhausted enough to sleep.

“Connor.”

“I’m here.”

“I want to go home,” Kevin wept.

Connor’s heart broke.

“Jesus, Kev.”

Kevin looked up at Connor, “Fuck Jesus.”

Yes. That.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to watch West End's Book of Mormon last week.   
> Leanne Robinson has such a lovely voice, her Hasa Diga reprise gave me goosebumps.  
> All of them had such great energy, I'm exhausted for them by the end of the show.


	40. Chapter 40

Apart from that fateful afternoon when the three of them had almost met their doom, The General hadn’t been spotted in the village since.

The presence of Mutumbo’s little army at the borders of the village gave the villagers a sense of security, albeit a tenuous one. Likewise, the Elders reckoned that it was safe enough, and continued to go about their daily routines around the village, determined to make every second of their time left in Uganda count.

Connor had drilled into them the importance of being aware of their surroundings, and running and hiding at the first sign of danger.

It was ten days more, before Connor could see his parents again; before Kevin and him would be safe from The General; before they could start life anew in London.

At the same time, it was also only ten days more before they had to bid Uganda goodbye, along with all the villagers, and his Elders, who had become more like family.

“Elder McKinley?”

Connor snapped out of his thoughts, “Hmm, yeah?”

Elder Michaels frowned at him, “You’ve been staring at the weed you’re supposed to be pulling for five minutes now. Wanna help us out here?”

Connor nodded, and returned to his task of helping Kalimba to clean out the school yard, “Sorry. Got lost in thought.”

He looked up at the rest of the Elders, sans Kevin, who were scurrying around the land pulling out any weeds that they could see. There were probably more weed than grass in the yard. They certainly had the job cut out for them.

Connor kept up with the mindless task of pulling up stubborn tufts of weed for the next ten minutes, before he got bored and his mind started drifting again.

What was Kevin doing now, back at the hut? Connor hoped that he was following the doctor’s orders to do nothing. Kevin had tried to help with cleaning the mission hut while the Elders were out in the village, and it had ended up with Connor finding him curled up on the ground in pain when he returned.

The next morning, Kevin had promised Connor that he wasn’t going to do anything at all, after Gotswana’s threat that if Kevin kept it up, his arm was going to heal all wrong.

“C’mon, dude!” Elder Church groaned and pointed to the weeds all around where Connor was kneeling, “You barely got any out!”

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Poptarts nudged Connor.

“I’m just bored,” Connor shook his head.

“Yeah well, be bored while you work, will you?” Elder Church sighed, “I can’t even feel my hands anymore.”

Connor reckoned that they should call it a day, before anyone got hurt.

 

“Elder McKinley!” Arnold called out as the Elders made their way back, “Connor!”

“Yes, Elder?”

“Umm,” Arnold shrugged, “I was wondering…well, you see…”

“Arnold, just spit it out.”

“Well, today’s the anniversary of Nabu’s mom’s- you know,” Arnold sighed, “I want to be with her, and I want to ask if you could stay with Kevin tonight.”

“Of course, Arnold. Just be careful, alright?”

“Yeah I will,” Arnold nodded, “Thanks!”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was checking his emails on Arnold’s bed, as Kevin watched beside him, while humming some Disney tune which sounded vaguely familiar. Connor scrolled passed a wedding invitation from one of his high school classmates.

“They’re awfully young to be married, don’t you think?” Kevin commented on the photo in the email, “She’s probably pregnant or something”.

“They’re Mormons, Kevin,” Connor wrote a congratulatory reply to the email, “And they’ve been together since freshman year. People get married around our age all the time.”

Kevin made a face.

“Why? Do you not want to get married?” Connor frowned.

Kevin shrugged with one shoulder, “I don’t know. Never really thought about it.”

Connor, on the other hand, often finds himself thinking about the future, their future together, and how he looks forward to the day when he could take Kevin Price as his lawfully wedded husband.

“Never really had anyone to think about getting married to either.”

”Oh,” Connor’s heart sank.

“Until now, of course,” Kevin smiled slightly, “But not now, Connor. Not yet.”

Connor relaxed back into the pillows, “Right.”

Kevin snuggled closer to Connor, “You want to marry me?”

“Hmm,” Connor pursed his lips, “I think I should explore my options before I settle down. There are still lots of fishes in the sea, especially in London.”

“I hope you’re joking, Connor McKinley,” Kevin frowned.

“Of course I am,” Connor chuckled, “Or am I?”

Kevin brought his hand down on Connor’s thigh.

“Ow, ow,” Connor rubbed at the stinging spot, “Kev!”

“That’s what you get,” Kevin rolled his eyes, and laid his head on Connor’s chest, “But I guess, if you want to find someone less of a mess, I won’t blame you.”

Connor smoothed Kevin’s hair down, “Nah…you’re stuck with me.”

Kevin tilted his head up to look at Connor, “I love you, Connor.”

Connor would never get tired of hearing Kevin say that.

“I love you too.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor didn’t have a good night’s sleep at all. He hated to admit it, but he had better sleep when he was with Poptarts.

Kevin’s nightmares were getting worse. He was constantly being woken up by them, which woke Connor up too.

Connor was sick of the look of absolute terror in Kevin’s eyes every time he startled awake and thought that Connor was the bad guy.

And the noises, gosh, the noises were just as bad. The noises which Kevin made as he tried valiantly to escape Connor half-asleep. Despite that, Connor had to hold on to Kevin, before he hurts himself falling off the bed.

If Kevin wasn’t being startled awake, he was talking and moaning in his sleep.

“No, where are you going?” Kevin whined, when Connor realised that maybe he was the one triggering Kevin’s nightmares by sleeping next to him.

And the sleep-deprived side of Connor’s brain selfishly thought that maybe separating the beds would allow Connor to sleep better too. He hadn’t slept for long enough bouts to have nightmares of his own, that was the only silver lining.

Connor swung his legs over the side, “I don’t think I’m helping by sleeping so near-”

“No no,” Kevin frowned, “No, don’t go.”

“Kevin.”

“Don’t go,” Kevin pulled on Connor’s shirt, “Please come back?”

Connor couldn’t say no to that, even thought it meant that he was probably going to suffer for it in the morning.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“You look awful, Connor,” Poptarts commented.

Connor grunted as he searched through the kitchen cupboards, “Didn’t really get to sleep much last night.”

“Oooo, had too much fun huh?” Poptarts smirked.

“I wish,” Connor sighed, “Kevin woke me up with his nightmares.”

“That’s too bad,” Poptarts frowned, “Can Gotswana give him something to help?”

“I doubt it,” Connor said sullenly, and then groaned when he remembered.

“What?” Poptarts asked.

Connor sighed as he held his aching head, “We’re out of aspirin.”

“Yeah, you were the one who told me that last week, remember?” Poptarts laughed, “Go take a nap, Connor. You need it.”

“But the-”

“We’ll be fine for a day without you,” Poptarts placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder, “I’ll keep an eye out for everyone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go on already, Connor,” Poptarts waved, “Before you fall flat on your face.”

“Thanks, Poptarts. Help me look out for Kevin, okay? Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was rudely awakened by a loud rap on his window pane. He jumped upright when he realised that there was an unfamiliar man standing by his window. Before he could start panicking, the man showed him a cardboard box.

It was just the courier.

“Should have closed the curtains,” Connor muttered.

Limbs leadened with lethargy, Connor shuffled out of his room and to the door. The other Elders were not back yet.

“Hello,” Connor smiled at the man, who handed over the heavy box, “Thank you.”

Connor was about to shut the door after signing for the parcel, when the man held out a hand.

“Oh, ummm,” Connor frowned, “Hang on a second.”

Connor wondered what was the convention for tipping couriers in Uganda. All of their other mails and packages have just been haphazardly left on their doorstep before now.

“Is this enough?”

The man nodded and left.

Connor read the label on the package, it was for Kevin, and the return address of that of his parents’ back in Utah. The parcel was also labelled to be important and confidential. That must be why the courier didn’t just chuck it at their door.

This couldn’t be anything good.

Should he open it first?

Would Kevin mind?

Connor probably shouldn’t, it would be an invasion of Kevin’s privacy. Right?

Connor’s indecision was saved by the Elders returning to the mission hut.

“Hey guys,” Connor greeted as they filed into the hut, still holding onto the box.

“Hey Elder McKinley. How are you feeling?” Elder Michaels asked.

“Much better, Elder Michaels. Thanks for asking.”

“What is that?” Elder Church pointed to the box.

“Oh, it’s Kevin’s.”

“Mine? Who is it from?” Kevin grinned.

Connor was reluctant to sully his apparent good mood, “It’s uh…it’s from your parents.”

“Oh,” Kevin’s face fell, “What is it?”

Connor shrugged, “I don’t know, I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t fucking want it! Throw it out!” Kevin strode back to his room and slammed the door.

“Kev-”

The other Elders were stilled by Kevin’s outburst.

“Well…Shall we opened it?” Elder Church suggested.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor tried the knob on Kevin’s door, but it was locked.

“Leave me alone, Connor,” Kevin said from the other side, “Please.”

Connor opened the parcel on the couch, the Elders surrounding him. Everyone was curious.

“Oh no,” Connor’s heart grew heavy as he uncovered the files beneath all the bubble wrap.

It was full of Kevin’s stuff: his academic transcripts, certificates of achievements, important documents like his birth certificate, and some old photographs.

The Prices had clearly been cleaning out Kevin’s room.

“I’m sure we shouldn’t be throwing this out, right?”

“Yeah, no shit Michaels,” Elder Church scoffed.

“Look at this,” Arnold flipped through Kevin’s test scores, “Kevin’s a genius.”

“Nah,” Elder Church pointed to the only A minus in the sea of A pluses, “He’s got an A- in…Intermediate Algebra. Gross! Who willingly takes even more algebra than necessary?!”

“Alright, c’mon guys, we shouldn’t be riffling through his stuff,” Connor snatched the files back from the Elders and placed them back in the box.

“Hey, you’re the one who opened it, not us.”

“Just,” Connor sighed and threw a glance at Kevin’s door, “Let’s get dinner started, alright?”

How could all these still not be enough for Kevin’s parents?

If Connor had siblings like Kevin did, would he then become dispensable in his parents’ eyes?


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some violence. Some blood.

All hell broke loose on a warm, humid Sunday night.

Connor would remember how warm it was, how the sweat dripped into his eyes as he ran. As he ran for his life.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Everyone was gathered in the village square to celebrate Mafala and Connor’s birthday. Half of the feasting table was filled with plates of traditional Ugandan food, presumably all of Mafala’s favourites. The other half of the table was filled with Connor’s favourite foods, from mozzarella sticks to tacos, and the middle of it lay a big frosted rainbow cake.

All the trees lining the village square were decorated with fairy lights. Connor loved, loved, loved fairy lights. They make everything magical, even the most mundane of rooms.

It was the best party District nine has ever thrown, in Connor’s opinion. Kevin was right about that. Gosh, it had seemed like eons ago, when the two of them were stuck with each other in the small hotel room in Kitgum.

“How did you guys even get half of these?!” Connor just gaped when he first saw the spread.

“Kitgum,” Elder Neely answered beside him, “We had to go to that tiny cafe 'round the corner and ask to buy some of their uncooked nuggets. And the rest of the stuff was easier to make from scratch.”

“How did you guys even keep all of these from me? Our kitchen is almost empty!”

“That, you’ll have to ask Elder Price and Elder Thomas. They were the ones who planned the whole thing really. We just helped out.”

Speaking of Kevin, Connor hadn’t seen him since the start of the party.

“Where is he, anyway?” Connor turned around to look for his boyfriend.

“I don’t know. Happy birthday, Elder McKinley!” Elder Neely shook Connor's hand, and skipped off to join the rest.

Connor made a round through the square searching for Kevin, stopping every few steps when people wished him a happy birthday.

“Arnold, hey!” Connor placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Aye!” Arnold yelled, “Here comes the birthday boy!”

Nabulungi beamed, “Happy birthday! You are getting so old, Elder McKinley!”

“Yeah, hopefully you’ll become wiser too,” Arnold cackled.

Connor rolled his eyes, “Haha, very funny. Have you guys seen Kevin?”

“Oh, Kev went back to the hut, he forgot the candles for the cake,” Arnold replied.

“What? By himself?!”

“I asked if he needed me to come with, he said no,” Arnold shrugged.

“Arnold!” Connor sighed exasperatedly.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Armed with his flashlight, Connor made his way back to the hut. Hopefully, he would meet Kevin halfway, so that he wouldn’t have to walk the whole route.

The night air was still and heavy, but Connor couldn’t stop smiling. He was happy. This was more than anything he could ever ask for. Kevin was more than anything he could ever ask for.

Connor would have to start thinking about Kevin’s birthday if he was going to top this party. If Connor saved enough money, he could bring Kevin to Orlando for his birthday. Or it could be somewhere in Europe, somewhere romantic, like France.

A scream.

Connor broke into a sprint, the beam of his flashlight bobbing wildly in front of him.

“Kev?”

He rounded a corner, and his light landed on Kevin, picking up something from the ground.

“Kevin!” Connor ran the last couple of feet to his side.

“Connor,” Kevin looked up, “What are you doing here?”

“Are you okay? I heard someone scream,” Connor gave Kevin a visual once-over.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. That,” Kevin tittered, “A spider landed on me.”

“A spi-,” Connor broke off and guffawed, “Oh em gosh, Kev! You-”

“Hey!” Kevin frowned, a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips, “You’d have screamed even louder if it had been you.”

“I just can’t-,” Connor couldn’t stop laughing, “I've never heard you make a sound like that before.”

“I plan you an awesome party and this is the thanks I get? Ungrateful idiot.”

“Oh gosh,” Connor blew out a breath and grinned, “Sorry.”

“You can pick up your own damn present from the ground,” Kevin pouted.

Connor bent down to pick up what seemed like a book wrapped in butcher paper and twine.

“A book? What is it?”

Kevin smiled, “Why don’t you open it?”

“Now?”

Kevin shrugged.

Connor pulled on the twine to undo the bow knot. He was expecting a novel of some kind, but when he unwrapped it, it was a blue leather journal.

“You want me to keep a diary?”

Kevin fiddled with the candles in his hands, “We don’t really have any photographs of our time here. So I thought that maybe this could be a substitute. You know, like a photo journal without the photos. Go on, turn to the first page.”

Connor flipped to the first page carefully. It had a rough sketch of the lake covering the top half of the page. Below it was a date, and a short description of their first official date at the lake.

“Kevin.”

The words blurred as tears filled Connor’s eyes.

“It’s not in chronological order or anything,” Kevin shrugged, “I just filled it with things whenever I remember them.”

Connor turned to the second page and it was about the party Connor had planned for Kevin when he returned from the hospital.

“Do you like it?”

Connor pulled Kevin in for a hug, “I love it. I love you.”

“You’ll have to pardon the mess on the last few pages. I had to write with my left hand,” Kevin chuckled and laid his head on Connor’s shoulder, “Happy birthday, Connor.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”

“Well well, what do we have here?”

The two broke apart at once when they heard a gruff voice behind them.

Crap.

Crap, crap, crap.

It was one of The General’s men.

“You two, gay?” The man gestured with his rifle and his sight landed on Kevin, “I know you.”

Both Kevin and Connor were frozen with fear, rooted to the ground.

The man laughed, “You were the boy who- you know what? Since you love your God so much. Come, allow me to do you a favour of letting you meet him tonight,” The man pointed his rifle at Kevin.

Before Connor could even comprehend what was happening, Kevin pulled back his right arm-

“Kevin! No!”

And he threw a punch onto the side of the man’s head. Kevin grappled for the rifle, as the man reeled back from the force of Kevin’s punch.

Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Connor had to do something!

The man recovered quickly enough to snatch his gun back, and brought the butt of the rifle down on Kevin’s face, twice.

“No!” Connor swung his flashlight onto the man’s head with both hands.

The head of the flashlight shattered. The man finally stopped and crumpled onto the ground, unconscious.

Connor dropped onto his knees beside his boyfriend, “Kevin! Oh gosh, Kev.”

Bright red blood streamed down the side of Kevin’s face from a split above his brow. His eyes were clenched tight as he clutched at his shoulder.

“Oh gosh,” Connor was panicking, “Oh gosh. Oh gosh.”

Connor pulled his shirt over his head and held it onto the bleeding cut.

Kevin whimpered.

“Sorry, sorry,” Connor’s head snapped around when he heard noises coming around a bend, “Kev! Kev, up. Now!”

Connor yanked on Kevin’s left arm and pulled the both of them upright.

“Wait,” Kevin looked pointedly at the blue journal at the ground.

Connor shoved it into his back pocket, “Run!”

“No. Connor,” Kevin shook his head, “Get…Get the gun.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

They ran into the darkness, the lack of moonlight making it hard to see through the dense foliage. Connor hoped they were going the right way, back to the village square.

It was too hot, too humid. Connor didn’t dare to even slow down a bit, even though his eyes were stinging with sweat dripping into them, and his lungs burned. The stolen rifle slung over Connor’s shoulder hitting onto his back with every step.

Kevin collapsed with a hoarse cry, almost bringing Connor down with him.

“Kevin!” Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, “We’re almost there.”

Kevin’s injured arm was shaking, hard. His whole body was trembling.

There was a lot of blood.

Connor didn’t need to ask. He knew Kevin was done running. They weren’t going to make it back, not together, at least.

“I can’t- I can’t feel my fingers,” Kevin frowned.

“It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine. Gotswana will fix it.”

Think, Connor, think.

“Hey! Kev, stay awake!” Connor hissed.

Kevin’s eyes opened half-mast, “Connor, I can’t feel my fingers.”

Connor had to run and get help. He had to warn everyone before The General reaches the village.

But Connor couldn’t leave Kevin out here in the dark? They didn’t even know where they were exactly.

Think, Connor, think.

“How are you doing?” Connor used his shirt to wipe the blood off Kevin’s face. It didn’t do much, except now Connor got it all over his hands too, “Kev, I need to go get help.”

Maybe if Kevin was able to make his way back to the mission hut-

“Hmm,” Kevin looked confused.

“Do you understand what I said?” Connor’s heart clenched. Kevin could have a brain injury from the blows.

“Kevin, look at me,” Connor tilted Kevin’s chin up, “What did I just say?”

Kevin tried to break loose from Connor’s hold.

“Hey, stop,” Connor held on tighter, “Whose birthday is it today?”

“What?” Kevin sighed, hugging onto his right arm.

“Whose birthday were we celebrating today?” Connor repeated.

Kevin blinked at Connor, and suddenly broke into sobs, “Don’t know. I don’t know?”

Oh gosh.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” Connor soothed as he stroked at Kevin’s hair, “Uhhh…”

They couldn’t split up now. Kevin was going to wander off, disorientated, and Connor was going to lose him to the Ugandan wilderness by the time he came back.

Connor’s priority now was to get Kevin someplace safe.

“Alright, let's get up,” Connor’s grunted as he helped Kevin to stand, “Okay? Dizzy?”

If they could retrace their steps back to the dirt road, they could return to the mission hut. Hopefully without meeting any of the bad guys on their way back. The men should be gone by now, they should have reached the village square by now, and everyone was gonna-

Nope.

Connor should be focusing on Kevin right now.

Kevin took a step and his knees buckled.

Connor caught him before he could go down, “Oh gosh. Ummm…Here,” Connor took the gun off his back and bent over in front of Kevin, “Up.”

Kevin stumbled onto Connor’s back and held on tightly.

“Okay. Okay. Here we go.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is nigh.

Connor followed the dirt road, but he didn’t dare to walk on the path itself.

Just in case.

“Almost there, we’re almost home.”

Kevin was a dead weight on Connor’s back, the metallic smell of blood was overwhelming.

One foot in front of the other.

Okay, he could do this. One foot in front of the other.

“Almost home.”

Connor has never felt so scared in his life. The night with the lion was nothing, compared to this. Coming out to his parents was nothing, compared to this.

Connor finally spotted the mission hut looming in the distance, and it gave him the boost he needed to run all the way back.

None of the lights were on, so Connor left them switched off. He didn't want the lights to be a beacon, announcing their location to whoever might be searching for them.

Connor gently let Kevin down onto the couch. Kevin made a small noise, but didn’t wake up. Connor picked up the phone, his hands still sticky with dried blood. With a finger, he traced the emergency phone numbers pasted on the wall beside the phone as he dialled.

“Hi, you’ve reached-”

“Please, I need help. We need help!” Connor rushed out, “My name is Connor McKinley. I’m- uh, We’re Mormon missionaries from Utah. We are- Umm,” Connor couldn’t think.

Calm down, Connor.

He took a deep breath, “We’re in a small village north of Kitgum. There’s this- uh, man. He’s terrorising the village. They have guns. They- they’ll kill us. They were going to kill us. Kevin’s hurt. My other friends could be hurt. We need help.”

“Okay, Connor, my name is Alicia, with the US embassy, and I’m here to help you. I need you to stay calm, alright? Do you know your exact location?”

“Umm,” Connor closed his eyes, “Coordinates! I can give you the coordinates of our mission hut.”

Connor recited the string of numbers which put their mission hut on the map.

“That’s very good, Connor. Are you safe? Are you hurt? How many people are hurt? How badly hurt are they?”

“I think Kevin and I are safe. For now. I’m okay, but I don’t know how the others are, we were having a party, and the two of us left to get something. Umm…Kevin’s bleeding. He was hit on the head with a gun.”

“Is your friend conscious? Are you close to any hospitals or clinics?”

“Kevin’s my boyfriend,” Connor blurted out.

Connor could punch himself. Why was he wasting precious time?!

“Oh, okay? So do you have access to medical facilities?”

“No. The nearest hospital is in Kitgum. Hold on, let me check on Kevin,” Connor put down the receiver and crossed the living room to Kevin’s side.

“Kevin,” Connor tapped on his cheek.

Kevin turned away from the disturbance.

That was good. Responsiveness was good.

Connor returned to the phone, “Sorry, I’m back.”

“Is Kevin doing alright?”

“He’s not in a coma,” Connor laughs nervously, “There’s that.”

“I know this must be scary for you, Connor. I’m looking at the map, and I don’t think a road ambulance can reach you in good time. I can call for an air ambulance, but you will be the one to bear the expenses. Are all of you insured?”

Connor was sure that his parents had taken care of all of that for him, but what about Kevin?

“Yes, yes. My parents can pay for it.”

“Your parents? How old are you, Connor?”

“I turned 23 today. It was my birthday party. Kevin’s 19.”

“Just to make sure I didn't miss anything: You were attacked by armed men, north of Kitgum, there are possibly multiple American casualties, but there is no safe way for you to know for sure.”

“Yes, yes. Please just send help,” Connor begged.

“Do you want me to call your parents? Kevin’s parents?”

“My parents. Please call my mom.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor has never been on a helicopter before. It was louder than he thought it would be.

The land beneath them was mostly pitch black, dotted with lighted huts whenever they flew passed small villages. There wasn’t much of a view to enjoy, not that Connor would be able to enjoy it even if there were.

Kevin was stable, at the moment.

He was still bad off, but he wasn’t going to die or anything.

The same couldn’t be said for everyone else left in the village.

What if... what if he went back and everyone was-

“I’m sorry?” Connor whipped his head around.

“We are reaching in 10 minutes.”

“Yeah, okay,” Connor wiped a tear off his cheek.

 

They were brought to Kampala. Connor wasn’t complaining, the hospitals in the capital were in much better shape than the one in Kitgum. 

Alicia was there when they arrived.

Connor broke down when he saw her. He just dissolved into a puddle of sobs and tears in the middle of the hallway.

He was sure that people were staring, but he more than deserved a cry. It was turning out to be the worst day of his life.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Alicia handed him a phone, and the first number he dialled was the mission hut.

Nobody was picking up.

Maybe that didn’t mean anything.

Or maybe it meant something really, really bad.

“Connor?”

“Huh?” Connor ended the call.

“Your mother has asked that you call her as soon as possible.”

“Oh. Right,” Connor immediately called his mom back.

Unlike the phone at the mission hut, his call was picked up almost immediately.

“Connor! Is that you?!”

“Yeah, yeah. Mom, it’s me,” Connor sighed, “I’m fine. I’m not hurt. We’re safe now, at the hospital.”

“Oh thank God. I’m at the airport. I’ll be in Uganda tomorrow.”

“Wait, what?!” Connor sniffed, “Mom.”

“Be careful, Connor. I have to go check in. I’ll see you soon. Love ya, hon.”

“I love you too.”

Connor didn’t know how much he needed to see his mother, until now.

She’ll be here soon. And Connor couldn’t wait.

He went back to wringing his hands as they waited for news.

Alicia spoke again, “Can you give me the names of all the Mormon missionaries? So that I can contact their families.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure,” Connor started writing, “We uh, we’re actually not Mormon missionaries anymore.”

“What?”

“Long story,” Connor gave a grim smile, “Have you heard back from the village?”

“Nothing yet, I’ll keep you informed,” Alicia gave a polite nod.

Connor sank back in his chair, “Thanks.”

Was this how survivor’s guilt felt like? Because Connor sure was feeling all kinds of guilty for leaving his Elders behind to fend for themselves.

The long night stretched into an even longer morning. Alicia had gone back to her office, leaving Connor feeling incredibly alone in the packed waiting room.

He tried to call the mission hut again, and again.

Still nothing.

It was five in the morning when someone came looking for him.

“Kevin Price?”

Connor jumped out of his seat, “How is he?”

“He is awake, a little confused, but that is alright.”

How on earth was that alright?!

“He has a concussion,” the doctor pointed to his own eyebrow, “And a tiny cut. Nothing to worry about. Only ten stitches.”

What in the world-

“Ah, his clavicle. It is a bit of a problem,” the doctor tapped on his chin with a finger.

“He broke it two weeks ago,” Connor supplied.

“I see now, yes. It is broken again.”

“He said that he couldn’t feel his fingers.”

“Ah yes, sometimes it can affect the nerves, by injuring them or putting pressure on them,” the doctor nodded, “I have arranged for a surgery to fix it. In three weeks.”

Connor’s eyes widened, “Three weeks?!”

“I am afraid we are very busy.”

“He said that he couldn’t feel his fingers,” Connor repeated, “Why isn’t this treated as an emergency? What if this leads to nerve damage or whatever?”

“It is possible, yes. A delay in treatment can lead to permanent nerve damage. Sometimes.”

Connor was about to blow up. And he had a dang good reason to do so.

He took a deep breath, “So why are you making him wait for three weeks?”

“We are booked fully, until-,” the doctor checked the calendar, “Three weeks from now.”

“Okay, okay, can we go somewhere else? Another hospital maybe?”

“It is possible, yes. But Mulago is already the biggest hospital in the country.”

“Oh em gosh,” Connor groaned in frustration, “Please just help us get an earlier date. Please! That’s his dominant hand. Kevin needs his fingers. He’s going to be a doctor, for gosh sake. You’re a doctor, you know how it is. Can he be a doctor if he doesn’t have use of his hand?!”

The doctor frowned, “Ah. That can be a little bit of a problem.”

Kevin would have said ‘no shit’ to that. Connor just glared.

“I will see what I can do,” The doctor promised, while looking like he was not actually going to ‘see what he can do’.

Connor threw his hands in the air. He was too tired to start a fight.

Now what? Was he supposed to look for Kevin by himself?

A passing nurse finally took pity on his disheveled appearance and showed him the way. Connor made his way through the dark ward quietly. Almost everyone was fast asleep. Almost. Everyone except Kevin. He was staring intently at the wall beside him.

“Hey,” Connor perched himself on the corner of the bed.

Kevin turned his head, “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?” Connor patted on Kevin knee.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know how you’re feeling?” Connor teased.

“Where are we?”

“Kampala.”

“Why?”

“Why are we here? Because you’re hurt.”

“Oh,” Kevin frowned, “Is that why everything’s kinda spinning?”

“It is? Do you feel sick?”

“I think…I think I forgot something. Connor, I forgot something. But I forgot what I forgot,” Kevin looked thoroughly miserable.

The doctor wasn’t kidding about Kevin being confused. Connor just hoped that Kevin really was alright like the doctor had said, and not slowly bleeding to death in his brain.

“Hey no,” Connor caught Kevin’s hand when he reached for his eyebrow, “Why don’t you get some rest, huh?”

“Okay,” Kevin went back to staring hard at the wall.

Connor sighed, “Kev.”

“Hmm?” He turned to Connor again.

“You have to close your eyes first.”

“Connor? Where is everyone? Where’s Arnold?”

“They’re back at the village. They’ll be fine,” Connor lied, “Now, Sleep.”

It wasn’t like Kevin was going to remember this conversation when he wakes up.

“I was waiting for you.”

“I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere, alright?”

“Okay,” Kevin’s eyes finally fluttered close.

Connor watched Kevin sleep for a while, before he started dozing off himself.

He was jolted awake by a hand on his shoulder.

“Alicia,” Connor rubbed at his eyes,“You’re back.”

“I have news about your friends.”


	43. Chapter 43

Connor blinked as he stepped out into the glaringly bright hallway.

“I have updates from the local police. Good news is that the terrorist has been shot dead.”

Connor gulped, nodding.

The General was dead. Was Connor a bad person if he felt relieved that someone had died?

Alicia continued, “Bad news is that there have been injuries. Some of the villagers are seeking treatment in Kitgum. Two of your friends,” She paused to read her phone, “James Church and Eli Neely were also injured. They are actually on the way here now.”

“Are they…are they okay?”

“They were conscious, last I heard. I’ve notified Mr and Mrs Neely, but James Church doesn’t seem to have his parents’ contact on file. His emergency contact is a Mr Theodore Michaels?”

That was Elder Michael’s dad. Connor had already asked Elder Church about it when he first saw the paperwork.

“Yeah, it’s uh complicated,” Connor sighed, “Umm...Can I borrow your phone again?”

Connor took the phone and dialled.

“Hello, Elder Thomas speaking.”

“Poptarts!” Connor almost yelled, “Are you okay?”

“Connor! Where are you?! Are you with Elder Price?! Arnold’s freaking out, I’m freaking out!” Poptarts cried hysterically, “We saw the birthday candles on the ground, when we were walking back to the hut. And the blood! For a moment I thought that we’re gonna find you guys- you know, dead or something. And all your bloodied clothing in the room! What the heck, Connor?!”

Connor winced, “Sorry about that, I should have left a note. I called for help, and we’re in Kampala now. All the blood, they’re Kevin’s, but he’s gonna be okay.”

“Gosh,” Poptarts sniffed, “That was why the police came just in time? I thought we were all gonna die. It was horrible. Church and Neely, they-,” Poptarts sighed, “Gosh, Connor!”

“Are they hurt bad? What happened?”

“Butt-effing-naked grabbed Maua. Neely went to defend her. And Church went to defend him. And then they got themselves shot," Poptarts sighed, "Maua’s okay, the two of them are okay too, I think. They were in pain, but Gotswana helped to stop the bleeding,” Poptarts sighed, “It was just a frigging mess.”

“What about you? Elder Michaels? Elder Cunningham?”

“We’re not hurt. We ran and hid, like you taught us. Connor, we were so worried about you and Elder Price! We were just about to go search for the two of you in the forest! Did you two- Did Butt-effing-naked...”

“No no, it wasn’t him. We ran into one of his men, and Kevin got into a fight with him, and then got hit a couple of times. I actually knocked the guy out with my flashlight, can you believe that? Anyway, Kev has to get surgery for his arm, so we’re just waiting.”

“Do you want us to come to Kampala too? Elder Michaels followed along with Elder Church and Elder Neely.”

Connor rubbed at his eyes tiredly, “I don’t know, Poptarts. If you want to, I guess. My mom’s coming tomorrow though, so I think I’ll manage okay.”

“My parents were about to fly here too! But I convinced them not to. Now, they’re begging for me to go home.”

“Yeah,” Connor wondered if this meant the end of their missions.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor practically flew into his mother’s arms when she appeared in the doorway.

“Mom!”

She smelled like home, she felt like home. 

"You're here! You're really here," Connor buried his face in her hair.

“Oh Con,” She held him tight, “I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

“Come,” Connor pulled her into the room eagerly, “I want you to meet Kevin.”

“I must say, this is...not what I expected Uganda to be,” She looked around the busy hospital ward.

“Why’s that? Here! Well, he’s not awake yet but this is Kevin.”

Connor didn’t know why exactly, but the first thing he had wanted to do was to introduce his boyfriend to his mother.

She gave a tight smile.

“Con, hon, I know who Kevin Price is,” She patted on Connor’s arm, “Is he alright?”

“A concussion and a broken collarbone. The doctors are making us wait three weeks for the surgery to fix it,” Connor huffed, “Unbelievable!”

“If you want, we could always go back,” She tilted her head.

“I know, I know. Let’s just see what he thinks when he wakes up,” Connor turned back to look at Kevin.

Kevin looked much worse now, with the sunlight lighting up the whole room. A nasty bruise covered his right eye, and the black stitches and the red, raw cut on his brow was a stark contrast to the rest of his face. Whoever cleaned him up also missed a few spots, there was still some dried blood on his cheek, and on his jaw. Connor didn’t know what they had done to Kevin’s shirt, it was probably already in the trash. There was no salvaging the bloodied top.

“Well, I’m going to put my things in the hotel room,” His mother gestured to her suitcase, “And then I’ll bring you some food when I’m back, alright?”

“Oh, do you need help?” Connor offered, even though he hadn’t wanted to leave Kevin’s side. He was reluctant to let his mom leave either.

She gave him another hug, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was cleaning the residual blood and dirt on Kevin’s face when his eyes fluttered open.

“Look who’s awake,” Connor’s face broke into a grin.

Kevin frowned at him, “What are you doing?”

“You’re filthy,” Connor continued to rub at Kevin’s jaw with the damp towel, “How are you feeling?”

“Ow, stop it,” Kevin pushed Connor’s hand away.

“Sorry, it won’t come off.”

“Leave it,” Kevin sighed, “What’s wrong with me? Everything hurts.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get shot, Kev. What were you thinking?”

“What?” Kevin looked confused for a second before his eyes widened with recollection, “Oh. Oh! Oh shit! The village! He- Is he…Is everyone-?”

“Whoa, whoa, calm down,” Connor placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, “The General is dead.”

“What the fuck happened?!”

Connor began filling Kevin in on how they got to Kampala, and what Poptarts had told him.

“Elder Neely and Elder Church are actually in the room just down the hallway. They’re both going to recover just fine,” Connor said, “What else? Oh,” Connor gently picked up Kevin’s right hand, “Do you feel this?”

“Not really. A bit, I think?” Kevin sounded afraid, “Am I supposed to? Is this bad?”

“Can you move them?”

His fingers twitched, “It hurts. What…What did the doctor say?”

“You broke your collarbone again. The doctor said that they’ll have to fix it with surgery.”

Kevin rubbed at his shoulder, “Okay? It doesn’t feel fixed.”

“Well, they don’t have any free slots in the surgery until three weeks later.”

“You’re joking, right? I can’t wait three weeks?”

“I know, I know,” Connor gently laid down Kevin's right hand, and grabbed Kevin’s other hand, “If you want, we could leave for London tomorrow.”

Kevin was about to reply, when he narrowed his eyes, "Uh Connor? Isn’t that your mom?”

Connor turned, “Oh, yeah. And my mom’s here.”

“You don’t say,” Kevin raised an eyebrow.

She stared at their hands for a moment too long.

Kevin pulled his hand away from Connor’s, “Mrs McKinley, hi.”

“Please, call me Eileen. It’s nice to see you awake,” She nodded stiffly.

“How was your flight?” Kevin asked.

“Horrible."

“Oh,” Kevin’s smile fell.

She turned to Connor, “I bought some stew for you, hon. I think it’s beef. And this,” She took a small box out of the bag, “A cake! I imagine you don’t get proper birthday cakes in the villages.”

Connor laughed, “Aww mom. Kevin did bake me a beautiful cake, even though I didn’t get the chance to eat it,” Connor reached for Kevin’s hand again, but Kevin slid it under the blanket.

Connor frowned at him, and Kevin just frowned back.

“That’s nice. Con, why don’t you get started on the food? You must be hungry.”

“I am hungry, gosh, we haven’t eaten since last night,” Connor grinned, “Did you get anything for Kevin?”

His mother looked surprised, “Oh, I didn’t think he’d be awake yet, I can go get something-”

“It’s fine, I’m not hungry,” Kevin hastily added.

Connor rolled his eyes, “How can you not be hungry? Here, we can share.”

Kevin must have been starving too, because he gave a tiny smile, “Okay.”

Connor helped Kevin sit up against the wall, and fed him a spoonful of meat.

“Good?” Connor smoothed Kevin’s hair down.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Connor looked up and caught his mother staring at them with furrowed brows, again. She promptly avoided his gaze.

Why was she acting all strange?

 Kevin glanced at Connor sadly, and then down at his hands in his lap.

What was the matter? Connor thought that his parents were alright with them being in a relationship.

“Mom?” Connor sighed, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“I thought you weren’t mad?”

“Con, what are you talking about?”

Connor crossed his arms, “I thought you guys were fine with Kevin and I, together.”

“Of course we are, Connor. We’re looking forward for the both of you to come home. We’ve already gotten Kevin’s room all set up.”

“Then why are you being so weird about it? You were making Kevin feel-,” Connor gestured as he searched for the right word, “Unwelcome.”

His mother smiled sadly, “That wasn’t my intention, Connor. I guess it’ll take some time getting used to seeing...this. We may not be Mormons anymore, but we have been for the past four decades.”

Connor didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry, Con. I assure you that your dad and I are happy to welcome Kevin into the family.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes. Yes, I am. I’m sorry, Connor,” She stepped forward to embrace him, “I promise I’ll behave.”

Connor chuckled softly, “Okay. You know, I’m not the one you should be apologising to.”

When they went back to Kevin, he was watching them expectantly.

His mother was the first to speak up, “So Kevin, what do you say we go home tomorrow?”

“Oh,” Kevin looked pleasantly surprised, “Can we...can we stay for a few more days? I want to say goodbye to everyone.”

"Of course we can, Kevin," She nodded, with a genuine smile.


	44. Chapter 44

Connor shook the hands of Mr and Mrs Neely, “It’s nice to meet you both, although I wished it was under better circumstances.”

Elder Neely smiled from the bed, “He’s been taking real good care of us.”

Connor scoffed internally. What a banged-up job he has done. He was probably the biggest failure of a district leader the Church has ever had.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping to keep our Eli safe,” Mrs Neely hugged Connor, “He’s spoken very highly of you.”

Connor just smiled politely, “Did the doctor say when you’ll be able to leave?”

Elder Neely gestured to the white bandage on his left shoulder, “Probably in a few days,” His eyes went over to Elder Church in the next bed, “Sooner than baldy at least. He can’t even move his head without throwing up.”

“Shut up,” Elder Church grumbled while still staring straight at the ceiling.

The bullet had grazed the side of his head. Connor had said a silent prayer of gratitude when he found out how close his friend had been to dying.

Initially, the doctors only shaved off half of his hair, but Elder Church subsequently forced them to shave all his hair off after he had a look in the mirror.

“I’m gonna have a wicked scar,” Elder Church said, “You on the other hand, you’ll just have a boring hole in your leg.”

Elder Michaels laughed, “You’re so gonna look like a gang member.”

“A badass gang member, mind you.”

“A badass gang member who had to get a sponge bath because he couldn’t get up.”

“I will puke on you, Neely.”

Yeah, they were going to be alright.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

They started the long journey back to the village right after Kevin was discharged. His mom hired a driver, and Connor was thankful for that. Neither of them was up for spending ten hours in an overcrowded public bus.

Kevin was folded across the tiny backseat, his head resting on Connor’s lap. Connor stroked Kevin’s hair absentmindedly, while he watched the trees and farms fly pass.  Connor watched the heat waves distort the horizon in the distance, at least the car had air conditioning. Kevin shifted and sighed, pulling Connor’s attention back into the car.

“Are you okay?”

“We there yet?”

Connor checked his watch. They had six more hours of driving to go.

“Not even close. Go back to sleep.”

“Your legs are lumpy.”

“Well, I’m sorry I have bones in my legs. Do you want to sit up?”

“Not really. Is it time?”

It was a testament to how awful Kevin must be feeling if he was asking for his pills.

Kevin dozed off again after taking his heavy-duty painkillers, leaving Connor to his own thoughts.

It was a confusing feeling, now that he knew he was leaving Uganda in three days.It was a mixture of sadness and happiness. He was sad that this could be the very last time he would see some of the villagers, and that he had to bid goodbye to the Ugandan lifestyle he had grown to appreciate. The laid back atmosphere, the freedom, and the simplicity of it all.

On the other hand, Connor was happy and excited to start living his dream in a new city, and to be back in proper civilisation.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“They really need to patch up those holes on their roads, don’t they?” Connor’s mother joked when they got out of the car.

Connor’s response caught in his throat when he saw the state of the village square. Someone had cleaned it up some, but the remnant splatters of red on the ground made Connor feel slightly queasy. There wasn’t anyone else in the vicinity, and the golden hue of the setting sun made the scene even more haunting.

Connor helped his mother with the luggage, “It’s okay mom, I got this. We’ll have to walk from here. The mission hut’s ten minutes away.”

“Hey, Connor? Why don’t you two go ahead first?” Kevin squinted.

“What?” Connor frowned.

“I just want to check on some of them.”

“Kevin,” Connor scoffed, unsure if Kevin was being serious.

He wasn’t going to let a drugged and concussed Kevin wander off on his own? Not in a million years.

“I’ll be fine on my own, just go.”

“Don’t be silly Kev. I’m not leaving you to walk back to the hut by yourself, not when it’s going to be dark in an hour,” Connor sighed. He was tired, they were all tired from the long drive, and he was sure that if Kevin removed himself from the tree he was casually leaning on, he’d start swaying where he stood.

“Why don’t we go back, get a good night’s rest, and then come back tomorrow? And I'm sure everyone is busy with dinner at this timing.”

“Fine.”

The walk back was taking twice as long.

When they reached the spot where Kevin and Connor got attacked, Kevin slowed down to a stop.

“Is this where-,” Kevin stared at the reddish-brown spots on the dirt path.

Connor wondered what happened to the man he had hit. Did he wake up? Had Connor killed him with the blow to his head? Should Connor be feeling guilty? But he felt nothing. Should he be worried for feeling nothing?

“C’mon, it’s getting dark,” Connor ushered him along.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The lights were on at the mission hut.

“Hello?” Connor stepped inside. It was quiet.

He heard footsteps, and Poptarts emerged from their bedroom, “Connor?”

“Poptarts!” Connor was relieved to see his companion.

“Hey Elder Price,” Poptarts waved, “I’m so glad you guys are okay.”

“I’m not,” Kevin sighed and walked passed Poptarts towards his room, “But I’m glad you’re okay too.”

“Uhh…Poptarts,” Connor gestured to his mother, “This is my mom.”

“Hello Mrs McKinley. Elder Chris Thomas, Connor’s mission companion,” Poptarts shook her hand.

“I heard a lot about you from Connor. Thank you for looking out for him,” His mother smiled.

Poptarts blushed, “Oh, it’s-”

“Hey, Poptarts?” Kevin came back out into the living room, “Where’s Arnold?”

“He’s staying with Nabulungi,” Poptarts shrugged.

“For the night?”

“I would guess so, since tomorrow’s the funeral.”

“What...funeral?” Connor’s heart sank.

He had a feeling that he already knew the answer.

“Oh. You guys don’t know? Nobody told you?”

“I haven’t heard from anyone since I talked to you on the phone. Alicia said that everyone was fine! They managed to get them to the hospital in Kitgum,” Connor gulped.

“They did, well, they tried. But some of them didn’t make it. And many more people would have been dead if you hadn't called for help.”

“Who was it?” Kevin asked.

“Mutumbo, Bwanbale, Sanyu, and Mafala,” Poptarts hung his head sadly, “They died trying to protect the village."

“Oh gosh,” Connor’s hands flew up to his mouth, “Oh gosh.”

No, no, no. This can’t be happening. People are dead?! They're gone for good?!

Connor felt his mom put her arms around him as he cried.Connor laid his head on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Con,” She soothed.

This was awful. This was beyond awful. Nabulungi lost her father.

“This is all my fault isn’t it?” Kevin’s voice was quiet.

Connor’s head snapped up.

“What? Elder Price-,” Poptarts held up his hands.

“If I hadn’t screwed up…,” Kevin let out a hollow laugh and shook his head.

“Kevin, what are you talking about?” Connor took a step towards Kevin, “In no way is this your fault.”

“No? Everything was fine before Arnold and I came here, weren’t they? And then I had to go…,” Kevin trailed off, blinking back tears.

“Elder Price, you didn’t cause any of this. Butt-effing-naked is a violent raging homicidal warlord of his own violation. It’s nobody’s fault.”

Connor was only a step away when Kevin dropped down onto his knees.

“I’m sorry!” Kevin broke, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“No, Kev,” Connor placed his forehead against Kevin’s, “Gosh.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry!”

“No, Kevin.”

“I’m sorry.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was exhausted, mentally and physically. He was tired of being the ‘adult’. 

It felt nice to have someone taking care of him for a change.

His mother slid the plate of piping hot breakfast omelette in front of Connor, “Why didn’t you tell me? About all this?” She waved the spatula around, “About the danger you were all in?”

Connor sighed, “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“So you think it would be better if I had gotten a call saying you’re in a hospital, or worse, shot dead by an African terrorist?”

“I’m totally fine, mom. Look,” Connor held his arms out.

“You got lucky. You don’t know how lucky you are. You could have died, Con.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, and before I came here, I called The Prices and told them what happened.”

“Mom!” Connor’s eyes widened, “You didn’t!”

“I thought that they should know.”

“Well, Kevin don’t want them to know,” Connor groused.

She raised an eyebrow, “Just like when you didn’t want me to know?”

“So uh…what did they say?”

She just shook her head, but Connor didn’t miss the flash of anger in her eyes, “Do you want more milk?”

“Morning, Connor. Morning, Mrs McKinley,” Poptarts strode into the kitchen, neatly dressed in his shirt and tie, just like Connor.

“I made breakfast. I hope you like omelettes.”

“Thank you, Mrs McKinley,” Poptarts smiled and took a seat beside Connor, “So how did you sleep?”

“I didn’t,” Connor sighed, “What time does it start?”

“In half an hour or so, I think. We can get going once I finish this,” Poptarts shoved the eggs into his mouth.

“I’ll go wake Kevin up.”

“Do you think he should be going? I mean…after yesterday?” Poptarts asked tentatively.

“He’d want to be there,” Connor was sure of it.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Good morning,” Connor stepped into the room, “Are you ready?”

Kevin was lying on his side, facing the door. His gaze flitted up to meet Connor’s.

“Ready for what?”

“The funeral. You have to get dressed,” Connor helped to pick out Kevin’s clothes and laid them on the bed.

“Connor?”

Connor immediately went around to Kevin’s side, “Yeah?”

Kevin worried his lip, seeming as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind, “Help me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Connor didn’t know what to expect, from the funeral, from Kevin. The last time he attended a funeral, it was for a grand-uncle he had never met, and he was only five. Connor has never lost anyone he really cared about, until now. Not to mention how Kevin had revealed that he blamed himself for what the General had done. Connor was beyond sick of this. Every single time when Kevin seemed like he was doing better, something comes along and tear it all down.But there was nothing much Connor could do to fix it today, so he just focused on the task at hand.

“Shirt first?”

Connor had gotten really efficient in getting Kevin dressed over the past few weeks, ever since Kevin broke his collarbone. It took only a minute to get Kevin all ready to go.

He was knotting Kevin’s tie around his own neck, while Kevin tried to style his hair with only one hand.

“How do I look?” Kevin turned away from the mirror.

Connor transferred the tie onto Kevin’s neck, “Like a missionary who lost a fight.”

Kevin gave a tiny smile, but it fell away as quickly as it appeared.

“Thank you, Connor.”

“No problem,” Connor waved his hand casually.

Kevin grabbed Connor’s arm, “No. Thank you. You saved my life. It’ll be my funeral you’re going to if you hadn’t come for me that night.”

Connor hadn’t thought of it that way. If he hadn’t left the party to look for Kevin…

He couldn’t even fathom the thought.

“I made a promise, remember?” Connor smiled painfully, “You’re not going to die alone for as long as I live.”


	45. Chapter 45

Lacking the experiences he had in attending funerals, Connor thought that the worst part would be to see the lifeless bodies of people who, until two days ago, were very much alive. He was wrong. The bodies in the coffin wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the heart wrenching wails of the men’s families, mourning for their fathers, their sons, their brothers.

Connor wished he could un-hear all of that, the cries were still ringing in his brain after the ceremony. It was a simple ceremony, with a few people delivering eulogies, followed by the actual burial. Connor sat with Kevin at the edge of the small cemetery.

“You okay?” Connor’s shirt was sticking to his back from the afternoon heat. He tugged his tie down and undid the button at the collar of his shirt.

Kevin nodded, and returned his gaze to the ground.

His eyes were red-rimmed, but Kevin hadn’t cried. In fact, he hadn’t spoken a word since they left the mission hut.

“Are you still thinking about...what you were saying yesterday?” Connor asked.

“What?”

“Are you still blaming yourself for this?”

Kevin just stared at his shoes.

“Kevin?”

Connor waited for another few minutes, but Kevin remained silent.

“Why don’t you talk to Nabulungi?”

Kevin gave Connor a questioning look.

“Tell her how you feel,” Connor suggested. If there was anyone who can get through to Kevin, it was probably Nabulungi.

“Why would I do that?” Kevin said glumly.

“Because it could help.”

Kevin frowned, “Help who?”

“You? Nabulungi? I don’t know? Closure…all that,” Connor stuttered, “Just…talk to her. Please?”

“Maybe.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It was a dinner to celebrate the ‘life of Mafala Hatimbi’, as Arnold had put it. Nabulungi and Arnold had invited a few people over for a meal at Nabulungi's hut that night.  

“A toast to Mafala,” Gotswana raised his glass of beer, before downing it and smashing the empty bottle against the edge of the table.

Everybody recoiled at the crash.

“Is that...a thing?” Poptarts gaped.

“No, it is just a way for me to releases all the pent up anger and sadness that I have inside.”

Arnold raised his beer, “Okay...How about we avoid sending sharp, dangerous projectiles flying all over. A toast to Mafala!”

Everyone followed suit and echoed the toast.

“And a toast to Elder McKinley, who saved us all!” Kimbay yelled.

“What?” Connor chuckled nervously, “I didn’t...I didn’t do anything.”

“You got the attention of the police,” Nabulungi explained.

Connor didn’t bother to explain how the threat of a diplomatic crisis was what prompted the police to come. He just wanted to get this toast over with, so that they would stop staring at him like that.

Connor nodded hesitantly and raised his cup of water.

“Aww look, he is blushing,” Gotswana grinned.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

It was one in the morning when Connor finished clearing up Nabulungi’s hut, it was the least he could do. Most of the guests have already gone back home, except for the four missionaries. Arnold had dragged Kevin and Nabulungi into her room, leaving Connor and Poptarts on the couch.

“So…when are you returning to the US?” Connor asked.

Poptarts shrugged, “I don’t know yet.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“Can you save your goodbyes for when you’re really leaving, Connor? I’m too drunk for this tonight,” Poptarts laid his head back.

“Do you want me to write it all down instead?”

Poptarts shoved him away.

“I mean it Poptarts, I’m really glad that you were my companion. And I’m going to miss chatting with you at three in the morning while lying in bed.”

“You mean you waking me up at three in the morning to talk about Elder Price and complain about everyone else?”

Connor shoved him back.

“Yeah, Connor. I’ll miss you too. This mission is probably one of craziest, and one of the best few months of my life,” Poptarts said sincerely, “Keep in touch, you hear?”

“Of course. I will never stop bugging you,” Connor promised, “Shall we head back? My mom will be getting worried,” he pointed his thumb towards Nabulungi’s room, “I have to go collect Kevin.”

Connor knocked twice on Nabulungi’s door, “Guys?”

The door flew open, and Arnold got up into Connor’s face with a finger on his mouth, “Shhhh…They are sleeping.”

Sure enough, Kevin and Nabulungi were laying on the thin futon she had as a bed, eyes closed and breathing even.

“Oh,” Connor didn’t realise Kevin was that tired.

Arnold sighed sadly, “They kinda cried themselves to sleep. Can Kevin stay here for the night?”

Hopefully that meant Kevin had heeded Connor’s advice.

“I guess that’s okay. I’ll just get Poptarts back before he falls asleep on the couch outside, and come back in the morning.”

“You know, I’m sure Nabulungi wouldn’t mind if you guys crashed here? It’s late.”

Connor shook his head, “My mom will be wondering where we are.”

Besides, the whole village was safer now that The General was gone.

“Oh, right! Your mom’s here! Cool, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Arnold nodded, “Goodnight Elder McKinley.”

“Goodnight, Elder Cunningham.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was pleasantly surprised to see sunlight when he opened his eyes. He has become so accustomed to being awoken in the middle of the night, that he has forgotten how it felt like to sleep through the night. He felt a little guilty when he realised that he slept better when Kevin wasn’t in the same room. To be fair, it wasn’t Kevin’s fault that he was plagued with nightmares which disrupted Connor's sleep. Connor could empathise, he had been in Kevin’s shoes after all. And now he knew how Poptarts felt.

Connor’s nightmares died with the General. Kevin’s, on the other hand, weren’t getting any better. Kevin didn’t remember any of them in the morning, thanks to his pills. But Connor did. Connor was stuck with the memories of waking up to crying and moaning, and more often than not, he felt even more exhausted in the morning than before he went to bed.

He loves Kevin, he does. So much. But Connor also loves to not be deprived of sleep. Did that make him a bad person? A bad partner? But this is what love meant, right? Making the choice of being with someone through thick and thin, even though it sucks sometimes?

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Knock knock,” Connor called out as he rapped on the flimsy wooden plank of a door.

Nabulungi answered, “Elder McKinley. Good morning.”

“Morning, Nabulungi. How are you doing?” Connor embraced her in a warm hug.

“I hope it gets better, but having Arnold here really helps,” Nabulungi returned the hug.

“I’m glad you and Arnold have each other.”

“Elder Price, not so much help,” Nabulungi frowned, “He had a lot of bad dreams.”

Connor stepped into the hut, “Yeah, he kinda does. Is everything okay? What happened?”

“Oh it is nothing, I just was startled awake a few times. I just…I worry about him. He is still so...”

Connor sighed, “I know. Is he awake?” Connor spotted Arnold lounging by the couch with a piece of yam in his hands, “Morning.”

“Morning! Yam?”

“I already ate. Where’s Kevin?”

“Listen, Kev is going to spend the day with me and Nabu, and you’re not invited!” Arnold declared.

“What now?”

“Arnold,” Nabulungi chided.

“You’ve been hogging my best friend for weeks!”

“No I haven’t-”

“Who knows when I’ll ever see him again! It could be months, it could be years!” Arnold’s eyes widened in horror.

Nabulungi sighed, “I’m sure Elder McKinley can join us-”

Arnold folded his arms across his chest, “You can have him back at the end of the day.”

“Are you being serious?” Connor couldn’t really tell, “You can’t...ban me from seeing Kevin?”

“I’m not banning you. I’m just saying that Kevin and I are going to be spending quality companionship time together, for one last time.”

“So why is Nabulungi allowed to join and I’m not?”

“Whenever you two are together it’s like you guys are in your own personal bubble,” Arnold accused, “I never get to spend time with Kev anymore!”

“That’s not true?”

It wasn’t even remotely true. Connor could very well argue about how Nabulungi and Arnold were the ones who were doing exactly that when they hung out.

Nabulungi had enough of their squabble, “You boys decide what we are doing, I am going to go see if he is awake.”

Arnold andConnor were left to stare at each other.

“Fine,” Connor conceded, “I’ll just go do something else.”

Arnold’s face broke into a wide grin, “Really?!”

“Yes, really. Maybe I’ll take the time to show my mom around the village.”

“You’re the best!” Arnold flung himself at Connor.

“Ow ow, yeah right, okay,” Connor rolled his eyes, “So does the time start now or…”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Did you bring my things?”

Connor set his bag down in front of Kevin, “Of course I did.”

“Thanks.”

“Need any help with the shirt?” Connor offered, when Kevin just stared at the piece of clothing he was holding in his hands.

“Huh?”

“The shirt,” Connor raised his eyebrows, “You okay?”

“Mm hmm,” Kevin nodded, “I just can’t believe this is going to be it, you know?”

Connor hummed in agreement, as he buttoned up Kevin’s shirt, “But aren’t you excited? We'll be starting a new life.”

“I guess,” Kevin smiled.

“So…did you talk to Nabulungi last night?”

Kevin’s smile disappeared, “I did.”

“What did she say?”

Kevin snorted, “She called me a stupid idiot.”

“And? How are you feeling?”

“I feel the same, alright?! I can’t just turn it off and stop feeling guilty. I can’t, I don’t know how. If it was that easy, did you think I wanted to feel like shit when my dad told me he'd rather me be dead? Did you think I wanted to feel so fucking scared all the time when the...when I-," Kevin deflated, "It's not that easy, Connor."

“Kevin-”

"Can we drop it? I just want to enjoy my last day here.”

Connor had a sudden thought, “Your pills, did you…”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t,” Kevin picked up the small bottle, “See, still full.”

“But...you thought about it?”

Kevin sighed, “To be honest, I never really stopped thinking about it. But you don't have to worry, I promise I’m not gonna do anything stupid."

Connor trusted Kevin to keep his word, "Okay."

"So, what’s the plan for today?”

Connor shook his head, “Uh, I won’t be joining you three.”

“What? Why?”

Connor shrugged, he didn’t want to sell Arnold out, “I think my mom may be getting bored being all alone at the hut, I should bring her around or something.”

“Oh, okay then. I think I’ll be going to the school to visit the kids,” Kevin put on his sling, “Bring her along?”

“I’ll see what I can do. Be careful, you know how rough kids can be sometimes,” Connor raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not made of glass,” Kevin rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor was eager for his mom to see what he had been up to for the past six months. It was a weird sight, for his mother to be here, in his Uganda life.

“This is the clinic! Gotswana’s the only doctor in the village. Although, he's very good,” Connor proudly presented Gotswana’s hut.

She looked mortified, “You mean to tell me, you were out here with just a hut of a clinic, and the nearest healthcare facility was where we came from?”

Connor held out his hands, “Oh no no, there’s a hospital in Kitgum. It’s where we brought Kevin for his appendectomy. It’s not as big, but it’s much closer than the one in Kampala.”

She tried, “Closer, like maybe a half hour's drive away?”

“Three hours by bus, but! That is not important!” Connor added hastily, “Let’s go see the school!”

Connor took in the sights and sounds of the villagers bustling around the grounds, committing them to his memory.

“Elder McKinley!”

“Hey, Sadaka!”

She walked towards them with two bags of coffee beans balanced on her shoulders, “Who is that with you?” 

“Oh, this is my mom! Mom, this is Sadaka.”

“Ah, I see,” Sadaka put the bags down at her feet, “Hello! Welcome to our home! Elder Mckinley and Elder Price spend a lot of time at my Kafe. Best coffee in the village! Do you want to try some?”

“Thanks, but I don’t drink coffee,” His mother smiled, “Tell me, what is Connor like here?”

“Mom,” Connor groaned.

Sadaka laughed and patted Connor on his shoulder, “Oh he is great! All the boys to listen to him, and they have done a lot of good around the village! So different from the other useless white boys we get in the past.”

“Well, we did what we could,” Connor shrugged.

“Nabulungi said that you are leaving tomorrow?" Sadaka slapped Connor on the arm, "We have not even given you a proper farewell party yet!”

“Yeah, no. It’s fine. It was sort of a sudden decision.”

“That is too bad. You better bring your ass back to visit sometime.”

“Sure thing, Sadaka.”

Sadaka handed one of the bags to Connor, “I know Elder Price is going to miss my coffee a lot. So here, take this. A farewell gift.”

Connor didn’t have the faintest clue how to turn coffee beans into a cup of coffee, but they would figure it out.

“Thanks, Kevin would love this,” Connor put his arms around Sadaka.

"I know."

“Stay safe, Sadaka.”


	46. Chapter 46

Connor peeked into the classroom, the fruit of their labour. He especially loved the mural on the walls.

This was them leaving a mark on a small village in rural Uganda, and Connor couldn’t be any more proud of it.

“We built this,” Connor announced to his mother.

“Looks amazing, hon. Did you boys paint that by yourselves?”

"He did most of the painting."

Kevin was sat at the centre of the classroom with the children, crayons and paper scattered all around them. Arnold and Nabulungi were nowhere to be seen.

“Why you have to go?” Gamisha whined, trying to colour on Kevin’s shirt.

“Oh shi- no no, Gamisha let’s only colour on the paper, huh?” Kevin handed her a piece of paper, “You need to go home everyday, don’t you? Well, it’s the same for me. I need to go home too.”

“Go to your far away home?”

Kevin nodded as he ruffled her curly hair, “My far away home.”

Adroa asked, “How much far away is your home?”

“How far away,” Kevin corrected, “Ask me again.”

“How...faaaaar away is your home?”

Kevin started drawing something on the paper, “This is my home. This is the market. And this is the school.”

“Too faaaaaar!” Adroa pressed himself up against Kevin’s side, “Whyyyy?”

“Kaywin,” Gamisha showed Kevin her drawing, “This you.”

Kevin frowned at the paper, “Oh. Why do I have a train track on my face?”

“This your owie,” pointed to Kevin’s brow.

“Okay…And who is this?”

“Me.”

“Why are you taller than me?”

“Because.”

“Because what?” Kevin challenged.

The little girl just shrugged, “Just because.”

Kevin chuckled, “Who taught you that?!”

Connor bet it was Elder Church.

Another child latched onto Kevin’s neck from behind.

Kevin grimaced in pain, “Uh Akello, why don’t we sit down and finish your drawing?”

“No!” he held on tighter.

Kevin hissed, his eyes clenched tight, “Please?”

Connor was all ready to step in to help pry the kid off Kevin. Gently, of course. He wouldn't want to break someone's kid. 

Gamisha poked Akello in his side, “Ake go’way! You are making Kaywin go oww!”

The boy finally let go of Kevin and promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, hey hey, what’s the matter?”

Akello mumbled incoherently through his loud bawling.

“It’s okay, Ake. I’m okay. Do you want to come and sit with me?”

He sniffed and shrugged.

“Come here,” Kevin gestured to his lap.

The boy sat on Kevin’s knee.

Adroa pulled on Kevin’s shirt, “You have to go home…is it...is it because your mama miss you?”

Kevin cleared his throat, “Uh huh.”

He looked away from the children and met Connor’s eyes.

‘Hey’ Kevin mouthed, the corner of his mouth quirked into a smile.

Connor gave a little wave.

“Kaywin, my mama always gives me kisses when I go home,” Gamisha said, “You get kisses when you go home too?”

“Oh uh…” Kevin glanced at Connor with a smirk, “Yeah, I do get kisses too.”

Connor rolled his eyes fondly. What an idiot.

“But you are too old!”

“I’m not!” Kevin gasped with mock outrage.

“Are!” Gamisha insisted, and proceeded to fight with Akello for space on Kevin’s lap.

“Oh gosh, ugh! No, Gamisha,” Kevin sighed with exasperation.

Connor’s mother suddenly spoke up beside him, “You’re really smitten with this boy, aren’t you?”

“Huh? Um...I think so, yeah.”

“You think so?” She laughed, “If only you could see your face when you look at him.”

Connor rolled his eyes, “Mom.”

He wondered what he actually looked like when he looks at Kevin, probably like some lovesick idiot. Because that was how he felt inside when he watched him interact with the children.

“I’m happy for you, Con,” She took his hand, “And I’m sorry that we have made you feel like you couldn’t be who you are all these years.”

“Thanks, mom. That means a lot," Connor squeezed her hand, "I love you.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Where’s Arnold?” Connor asked as he helped Kevin to tidy up the classroom.

After all the fuss about wanting Kevin all by himself, Connor thought that Arnold would be stuck to Kevin like glue.

“He said that he needed to grab some supplies from the market,” Kevin shrugged.

Connor had a feeling that Arnold was up to something.

“You were very good with the little ones,” Connor’s mother commented.

“I had a lot of practice growing up, Younger siblings,” Kevin explained, “I had to- Wait! Connor! What are you doing?”

Connor froze, “Throwing out the trash?”

“Trash?! I want to keep those!”

Connor stared down at the pieces of paper which had been roughly-scribbled on, “These are just scribbles.”

“They’re five, Connor. What did you expect? Give it,” Kevin held out his hand.

Connor’s mother studied the mural of the village in the room, “Have you thought about being a teacher, Kevin?”

“Not really. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor.”

“That’s a respectable profession too. I’m sure you’ll be a great paediatrician.”

“Kev bud! I’m back!”

The three of them turned to Arnold, who just barged into the classroom.

“Oh. Elder McKinley. You're here too. Hello Mrs McKinley.”

“This is Arnold, Kevin’s companion,” Connor introduced,

“Where have you been?” Connor hadn’t meant for it to come out that irate. But Arnold did leave an injured Kevin to deal with a bunch of hyperactive five year olds by himself.

“We went to the market.”

“So you didn’t get anything after all?” Kevin looked pointedly at Arnold’s empty hands, “And where’s Nabulungi?”

“Yeah, it happens,” Arnold shrugged, “She uh...she had some stuff to do.”

For someone who lies a lot, he sure was bad at it when it really mattered.

“What stuff?” Kevin pressed.

Arnold threw his hands up in the air, “I can’t keep it in anymore! We are throwing you a surprise farewell party! It was sort of a last minute decision. I just couldn’t let you go without a proper going away party.”

Kevin looked amused, “Oh. Okay. Thanks?”

“Do I get a party too?” Connor teased.

Arnold sighed theatrically, “I guess you could come too, if you have too.”

Connor punched Arnold on the arm playfully, “I’m wounded.”

“You’re invited too, McKinley’s mom,” Arnold grinned.

“It’s alright, Arnold, you boys go enjoy yourselves.”

Arnold sighed, “Nabulungi’s going to kill me for giving the surprise away.”

“Don’t worry, I can act like I’m surprised,” Kevin offered, patting Arnold on his shoulder.

“Cool. I’m uh...supposed to stall you until sunset,” Arnold said sheepishly.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Are we there yet?”

“Where are we going?”

“We’ve been walking for a long time.”

“Guys, it’s only been ten minutes. Even I'm not tired yet.”

“Are we lost?”

“Arnold! Just tell us where we’re going.”

Connor tried to discern the route Arnold was taking them on. The road would lead them towards the hills with the flower fields and caves, if they hadn’t just went past the turn they should be taking to get to the hills.

“It’s getting dark, Arnold,” Kevin grumbled.

Arnold replied rubbing his hands together in anticipation, “Relax. We’re almost there. Nabulungi wanted to make it extra special. Now, remember to act surprised.”

Kevin looked at Connor, who gave a shrug in return.

When they finally reached their destination, Connor didn’t even need to act. He gasp in reflex. He was truly surprised by the scene before him. 

“Surprise,” Arnold grinned.

Nabulungi waved at them, on a mat in the middle of the field. Around her were thousands of glowing fireflies, making light trails all over the darkened field.

“Oh wow,” Kevin muttered beside Connor.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

Connor and Nabulungi strolled away from Arnold and Kevin. Connor was still trying to uphold his promise of giving Arnold his alone time with Kevin.

“Why haven’t you brought us here before?” Connor asked, staring at a bug which landed briefly on Nabulungi's hair.

Nabulungi took a swig of her beer, “The mating season has only just started.”

“Are you even of legal drinking age?” Connor raised an eyebrow at the drink.

“I am,” Nabulungi shrugged, “But nobody is going to give a shit about what I can or cannot do anymore, right Elder?”

“Nabulungi.”

“I dream about him. Every night. And when I wake up, I will still be thinking that he is in the kitchen, making us breakfast, before I would remember.”

Connor put his arm around Nabulungi and pulled her closer.

“I miss him, Elder McKinley.”

Connor couldn’t even begin to understand her grief. He could only provide her with a shoulder to cry on. They stood like that for a long time. A lot more fireflies started landing on them since they stopped moving.

“Baba used to say that when someone dies, they will revisit their families as a bug. To watch over them.”

“That’s nice,” Connor replied lamely.

"Not really, it makes you second guess if you should slap the mosquito dead, and by the time you make a decision, it has already given you malaria."

Connor stared at Nabulungi in confusion. She burst out laughing, which made Connor chuckle. 

“Well, I’m sorry about Mafala.”

“Why do you boys like to apologise when someone dies? It is not like you killed him,” Nabulungi said bluntly.

“It’s not an apology,” Connor mused, “More of a condolence.”

Nabulungi looked up at Connor from his shoulder, “Do I have to say thank you then?”

“You don’t have to say anything, Nabulungi.”

Connor glanced over at Arnold and Kevin, who were sitting on the picnic mat, chatting and finishing up the food. He narrowed his eyes as Kevin grabbed Arnold’s beer and took a long chug.

“C’mon Kev,” Connor sighed.

Kevin should have known better not to mix alcohol, painkillers, and a head injury.

“What?” Nabulungi asked, looking up at him.

“Kevin’s doing something stupid.”

Nabulungi nodded, “Go on then.”

Connor strode over to the misbehaving pair.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Connor towered over the two of them, hands on his hips.

Arnold looked up at Connor with a tipsy grin on his face, “Hey. Mickey. McKinley.”

Kevin just stared blankly at him.

Connor’s temper flared when he noticed the four empty bottles laying on the grass beside the mat.

“What the heck, guys?!”

Arnold frowned, “What the heck what?”

Connor ignored Arnold, “How many did you have?”

Kevin shrugged, “Does it matter?”

“Does it matter?!” Connor repeated loudly, “What are you trying to do, kill yourself?”

Kevin looked shocked at Connor’s outburst, “Don’t be dramatic.”

“Don’t be dramatic?!”

“What are you, a parrot?”

Arnold sobered up when he sense the tension in the air, “Whoa whoa guys.”

Connor was mad at Arnold too. Why couldn’t he just be responsible for once? He could have stopped Kevin from drinking. He should have stopped Kevin from drinking.

Connor took a deep breath to calm himself down. Kevin was drunk, and maybe high. It was no use trying to argue with Kevin right now. He just needed to get Kevin to bed before he consumes any more alcohol or his pills, and make sure that he doesn’t stop breathing or fall into a coma while he slept.

Connor tried to get Kevin up on his feet, “I think it's time we head back. We have a flight to catch tomorrow."

“I don’t want to,” Kevin protested, trying to wriggle away from Connor’s grasp.

“You’re gonna have to,” Connor pulled him up, and glared at Arnold, “A little help here?”

“Sorry,” Arnold got up at once to assist him in getting Kevin upright.

Kevin was still fidgeting his way out of Connor’s grasp, but if he were to let him go, Kevin was going to end up falling over.

“What are you trying to do, Kev? Gosh. Will you please stop?” Connor sighed.

“Let go!” Kevin whined, sounding like one of the kids he was herding in the afternoon.

“You do not want me to let go of you right now, Kevin Price. Now stop it.”

Kevin stilled, “Why are you mad at me?”

“Why do you think? Because you did something stupid,” Connor put his arm around Kevin’s waist for support, “Are you feeling okay? Can you walk?”

“I’m not stupid. I’m really smart.”

Connor rolled his eyes, “I didn’t say you are stupid. You just make stupid decisions sometimes.”

Hopefully this was nothing more than just that, a stupid, impulsive decision on Kevin’s part, and not something that Connor should be majorly worried about.

“I’m not stupid.”

“Yes, yes. You’re really smart. I know.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Thanks Nabulungi, for tonight. For everything, really,” Connor hugged Nabulungi, “And you too, Arnold. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that Kev...I should’ve-”

“It’s fine. He’s fine,” Connor yawned, “I’ll see you guys in the morning?”

Connor bade them goodnight, and closed the door. He made his way across the hallway and into the room to check on Kevin.

Kevin was out like a light as soon as his head had touched the pillow. A quick google search on his computer had informed Connor of what he should be looking out for.

Kevin seemed alright for now.

He was probably fine. He’ll be fine.

Connor laid himself down on Arnold’s bed with a groan.

The next time he laid down on a bed, it was going to be on a proper, fluffy mattress.

It’d feel heavenly.

Proper mattress, proper shower, proper house.

Proper fast food. Gosh, did he miss fast food.


	47. Chapter 47

Kevin was staring blankly at the ceiling on his back when Connor woke up.

“Morning,” Connor stretched with a groan.

Kevin’s head turned towards Connor, “I don’t remember coming back here.”

“I didn’t think you would. You were already halfway gone on the way back to the hut.”

“Oh.”

Connor pushed himself up from the bed, “Do you remember what happened?”

“I got drunk?” Kevin looked adorably confused with his messy bed hair.

Connor couldn't stay mad at Kevin when he looked like that.

“You sure did. Did you just forget that you shouldn’t have?”

“I was just being an idiot, I guess? And maybe…I don’t know, I was kinda afraid too.”

What was Kevin scared of? The General? But he was already dead. He couldn't hurt them anymore.

Connor leaned closer, “What were you afraid of?”

Kevin sighed, “Leaving this place. Going to London with you.”

Connor’s next words were caught in his throat. What did Kevin mean by that? Was he having second thoughts about leaving with Connor?

Did Kevin want to break up?

“Hey, relax,” Kevin assured, “I was just overthinking is all.”

Connor didn’t want Kevin to feel like he had to follow Connor home. He wasn’t forcing Kevin to do anything against his will, was he? Then Connor realised that he didn’t exactly give Kevin any choice back at the hospital. But it wasn’t like Kevin had anywhere left to go.

“Do you not want to come with me?” Connor checked.

“No-”

Connor must looked panicked because Kevin hurriedly held up a hand, “I do, Connor. I do. I meant to say ‘no, it’s not about that’. I’m just afraid of not knowing what’s going to happen next, you know? I’ve never…”

Connor waited.

Kevin took a deep breath, “I’ve never told anyone this, but all my life, my parents were the ones who told me what I needed to do, where I needed to go. ‘Kevin, why don’t you join the boy scouts’, ‘Kevin, you should go on a mission and spread the word of God’, ‘Kevin, you should study medicine at Harvard’. And I’ve always been so eager to please them, to make them proud of me. Until I no longer know the difference between what I wanted and what they wanted anymore. This-,” Kevin shook his head, “This is the first real decision I have ever made for myself. I’m not gonna lie, but this is scary for me.”

“I'm glad that you're telling me this, Kev. How long have you been worrying about this?”

“Well, it never really seemed like we were ever going to leave, until yesterday. It only started to dawn on me last night that this was it. We’re really leaving this place,”Kevin sighed, “And I don’t even know if they were going to be able to fix this,” he gestured to his arm, “If I’m ever going to be back to normal again.”

“Normal is overrated. Everything’s going to be fine, Kevin,” Connor promised, even though he couldn’t be a hundred percent certain, “We’re going to get you fixed.”

Connor was going to get Kevin better, both his mind and body.

“You make it sound like I’m some broken thing that needs to be put back together,” Kevin laughed, “I guess I kinda am, huh?”

“If the shoe fits,” Connor was relieved that they could still joke about this.

“And what if,” Kevin became quiet, “What if we don’t work out somehow? Where will I go? I’ll have nobody.”

Connor frowned, “Do you think we won’t?”

“I don’t know? I mean, I’ve never thought that my relationship with my parents could go so south, but here I am.”

“Whatever happens, we’ll just figure it out when it does. There’s no point in worrying about something that may or may not happen,” Connor shrugged, “Besides, we're not gonna throw you out on the streets just like that? I’m not that mean.”

“You say that now,” Kevin scoffed, “Wouldn’t be the first time. I was told that I bring out the worst in people.”

“Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Was that going to be Kevin’s new catchphrase? Because in Connor’s opinion, it was not any better than his trademarked ‘I’m fine’.

“C'mon, help me up,” Kevin said before Connor could reply, holding his arm out, “Let’s go home.”

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

“Take care, Poptarts. I’ll see you soon,” Connor nodded.

“You too. I promise I'll come and visit during Christmas.”

“I'll hold you to that.”

Connor glanced over at his mother in the car, and then to Arnold and Kevin.

“Kev, we gotta go,” Connor called out, “Arnold let go of him. We should get going.”

Arnold had been clinging to his companion for about twenty minutes now.

“No no,” Arnold refused, “Kevin! Don't go! I'm never going to ever see you again! How will I cope?!”

Nabulungi just rolled her eyes at the melodramatic pair.

“Umm...I’m sure we’ll see each other again some time, Arn,” Kevin smiled. 

Connor gave them a few minutes more, before he called out again, “Guys.”

Nabulungi had to pry Arnold apart from Kevin. She stood between the both of them in case Arnold tried to pounce onto Kevin again.

“I’ll miss you two,” Kevin hugged Nabulungi, “so much.”

"I will miss you too, Elder Price," Nabulungi said, and then louder to Connor, "Take care of him."

"I'm not a kid."

"Of course I will."

They finally got into the air-conditioned car an hour past their scheduled departure time.

“Excited to go home?” His mother turned around from the passenger seat.

“Sure,” Kevin answered, sounding more nervous than excited.

They waved until everyone was out of sight. Connor felt a sense of loss as the village disappeared in the rearview mirror.

 

~o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o~

 

The drive to Kampala took forever. Connor was already dreading the even longer plane ride. They made a detour to the hospital, to bid goodbye to the remaining three Elders. By the time the three of them arrived at the airport, it was already dark.

Connor was more asleep than awake at that point. He even had to take a few sips of Kevin’s disgusting black coffee so that he could at least make it to their gate without kneeling over in exhaustion.

Who knew being stuck in a cramped backseat for a whole day could be so draining?

Connor bumped his knees against Kevin’s, as they sat and waited for boarding to commence. Kevin gave a questioning look. Connor shook his head, smiling to himself. Everything was going to turn out perfect. If they didn’t, Connor would make them.

He couldn’t wait to show their love off to the world. He had to sit on his hands to stop himself from running his hands through Kevin’s hair, placing his arm around Kevin’s waist, or interlocking his fingers with Kevin’s.

Fifteen more hours to a different kind of freedom.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Kevin narrowed his eyes at Connor.

“Just thinking...about us.”

Kevin’s frown deepened, “Okay?”

Connor leaned over and whispered into Kevin’s ear, “I love you.”

The frown on Kevin’s tired face was instantaneously replaced by a smile. It made Connor’s heart soar.

“Sap.”

They have been at rock bottom. Now, there was nowhere else to go but up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes the Ugandan Chapter of the boys' lives. Their story continues in 'What if it never gets better?', which is set in London where they were heading :)
> 
> Hopefully, y'all have enjoyed the story so far! Thanks for reading! And commenting! And the Kudos! I appreciate it so much!
> 
> P.S. I know that 47 is an odd number of chapters to end the story with. But that was what bad planning got me XD.


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